On Monday morning, Penny went into Antidote and ordered a different drink.

It didn’t happen quite as decisively as that, of course. What actually happened was that Penny went to the counter the same as usual, and Caleb rang up her usual order. But when he held out his hand for her credit card, she hesitated.

“Actually, can I…” She trailed off, biting her lip.

She liked her nonfat lattes, but did she really want to settle for the same boring drink every day? Maybe she was missing out on something better. She could stand to be more adventurous. Mix it up a little. She could have a different drink every day of the week if she wanted.

Caleb’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You want something different?” He was wearing a soft blue henley, and the way it clung to his chest, arms, and shoulders made it difficult to concentrate on coffee.

Penny tore her eyes away from his torso and studied the chalkboard menu on the back wall. “Um. Maybe? I’m not sure.” It felt like a big step, even if it was just a coffee order.

“An Americano?” he suggested.

Penny shook her head. A drink comprised of espresso and water seemed even less adventurous than her usual latte.

“Cortado?”

“No…”

She knew exactly what she wanted, but it wasn’t on the menu and she was afraid to ask for it. Which was her whole problem. She was so afraid of inconveniencing other people that she never came right out and asked for what she wanted. That was Old Penny thinking, and she needed to let it go.

“What about one of those lavender lattes like you made before? I know they’re not on the menu…”

Caleb’s eyes sparked as if he were pleased. “Coming right up.”

While he made her drink, she went around collecting dirty cups and glasses from the tables and carried them to the dish cart beside the garbage can, because honestly, why couldn’t people clean up after themselves when the cart was right there?

“You don’t have to do that,” Caleb shouted to her from the espresso machine. “It’s literally my job.”

“I like to be helpful,” Penny shouted back.

She contemplated the empty tables. Should she sit somewhere else today, just to shake things up even more? Maybe by the window, or on the big orange couch.

She glanced back at her usual spot at the counter, which afforded an unobstructed view of the espresso machine where Caleb was making her latte.

No need to go overboard, she decided, and claimed her old stool.

“Thank you,” she said when Caleb brought her drink over a few minutes later. He’d sprinkled dried lavender on top of the foam this time. Penny picked it up and inhaled through her nose, letting the aroma fill her sinuses.

When she glanced up, Caleb was watching her. She blew across the top and took a sip. “Mmmmm. Delicious.”

His eyes sparked again, and the corner of his mouth dimpled.

Forget ordering a different drink every day. If his eyes were going to twinkle like that every time, she’d happily order this for the rest of her life. One lavender latte with a side of gorgeous eye twinkle, please.

“You should definitely get Reema to put this on the menu,” she said.

He ducked his head almost shyly. “Maybe we should start up a secret menu that only the best customers know about.”

A silent squeal lodged in her throat at the implication that she was one of his best customers. She’d made it, finally. She was on The List. “Like at In-N-Out.”

“Exactly.”

The music that had been playing in the background stopped, and it suddenly felt eerily quiet. She hadn’t even noticed the music until it stopped, but now its absence was glaring. Caleb threw a glance at Malik, who tossed down the rag he was holding. “On it,” Malik said as he disappeared down the hall that led to the office in back.

Caleb turned back to Penny, evidently in no hurry to move along. “It’s your turn in the hot seat today.”

“For what?”

“I answered all your questions Friday. Now I get to interrogate you.”

Penny only barely managed to restrain herself from bouncing on her stool like a manic Bounce Around Tigger. “I’m an open book. Go for it.”

“Hmm.” His mouth twisted sexily to one side. Having actual conversations with him was amazing, because it gave her an excuse to stare at him unashamed. What a gift. “You work from home, right? That’s why you’re always in here in the middle of the day.”

“Correct.”

“And you do something with…chemistry?”

“I’m a patent examiner.”

His eyebrows drew together. “What’s that involve?”

“Whenever a person or company thinks they’ve invented something new, they apply for patent protection. I’m one of the people who reviews new applications to determine if their claim makes scientific sense and is legally new and distinct from what's already known.”

“Sounds cool.”

“It can be, but it can also be dull. Today, for instance, I spent the whole morning reading up on polymers used to make contact lenses.”

“Was today one of the cool days or one of the dull ones?” His eyes were finely lashed and shockingly expressive for someone so stolid. The gold depths seemed to flicker as he gazed at her.

Was it warm in here today? Penny squirmed on her stool and looked down at her latte. “Depends how you feel about silicone-based hydrophilic copolymers.”

The music started up again, louder than before, and she jumped a little. It was some sort of bass-heavy electronica and hip-hop fusion that sounded out of place for a quiet morning at a low-key coffee shop.

Caleb rolled his eyes at Malik when he emerged from the back. “Come on, man.”

“This is good shit. Don’t hate.” Malik grabbed the tray of dirty dishes Penny had bused and marched them over to the sink.

Caleb shook his head and turned his attention back to Penny. “So how long have you lived in Los Angeles?”

“I moved here from Washington, DC, last year.” Her eyes slithered over the curve of his shoulder and down to his biceps. He had his sleeves pushed up, exposing his thick forearms. They were all veiny, with a fine coat of light-colored hair, and his skin was smooth and golden and—

“Is that where you’re from originally?”

She cleared her throat and reached for her latte. “Close. I’m from Richmond, Virginia.”

Having actual conversations with him was torture, because it gave her an excuse to stare at him unashamed. What a nightmare.

“Family?”

“Mom, Dad, two older sisters—Cassandra and Dana—and my younger brother, Jason. He’s a junior at UVA.”

Caleb’s eyebrows quirked in amusement. “Your siblings are Jason, Cassandra, and Dana? And you’re…Penelope?”

Her heart thudded at the sound of her full name on his lips. “My mother’s a high school English teacher. Big fan of the classics.”

“Clearly.” He pinched his lips together, like he was trying not to smile.

Penny wondered what it would take to get him to actually smile. He must be capable of it. His mouth seemed otherwise proficient—supple, dexterous. Perfect, basically. Surely it was able to form a smile. Why was he so reluctant to show it off? Maybe it was so beautiful it turned people to stone. Or made them fall in love with him. That didn’t seem too far outside the realm of possibility. Even thinking about Caleb smiling made her feel a little faint.

His eyes fell on her mouth, almost like he could read her mind. Oh, God, wouldn’t that be mortifying?

Penny licked her lips and looked down at her coffee.

The way he was hanging around and looking at her—if she didn’t know better, she might almost think he was flirting with her.

Which was undoubtedly why he didn’t usually do it. When a man this gorgeous showed an interest in you, it was easy to get swept away and convince yourself he was being more than just polite. No wonder he avoided chatting with customers other than George.

Penny silently pledged not to give Caleb any reason to think she was misconstruing his attention. He was simply being nice. Just because her libido was raging out of control didn’t mean she should repay his niceness by creeping him out.

The bell rang as a group of new customers came in, and Caleb rapped his knuckles on the counter as he went to serve them.

She blew out a breath as soon as his back was turned, and pressed her fingers to her cheeks. They were burning up. She must be bright red. How embarrassing.

If she and Caleb were going to be friends, she’d need to learn how to talk to him like a normal person, without noticing how gorgeous he was.

Easier said than done.

Knitting was back in its regular Monday night slot that week. When Penny arrived—ten minutes late because she’d had to pack up the peanut butter bars she’d made for the group—she cast a nervous glance at the counter.

Malik was still working, but there was no sign of Caleb. Relief warred with disappointment. As much as she liked seeing him, it would be easier to relax and enjoy knitting without him around, distracting her with his good looks and sudden friendliness.

Penny carried her peanut butter bars over to the couch where her friends were waiting for her. While they set upon the baked treats like a flock of ravenous seagulls, she took the smaller container she’d packed and got in line at the counter.

Malik broke into a grin when it was her turn to order. “God, I love Monday nights. It’s the only day of the week I don’t mind working a double.” He tilted his head, trying to see into the container. “What’d you bring this week?”

She slid the contraband toward him. “Peanut butter bars.”

“Hey, those are for everyone,” Caleb said, coming out of the kitchen with a fresh dispenser of iced coffee. “No hogging them all this time, Malik.”

Penny’s stomach lurched. They should put a bell on him so he couldn’t sneak up on people like that. She needed time to gird herself before confronting his handsomeness up close.

“What’ll it be?” he asked, taking over at the register as Malik wandered off with the peanut butter bars.

“Mango tea.” If she drank coffee this late it would keep her up half the night.

Caleb gave an apologetic grimace. “We ran out. I’m making more, but it’ll be another five minutes or so.”

“That’s okay. I’m in no hurry.” She handed him her credit card and added the usual twenty percent tip to the bill.

“Go sit,” he said when she pushed the receipt toward him. “I’ll bring it out to you when it’s ready.”

Penny grabbed a handful of napkins and joined her friends in the back corner. They’d already devoured half the peanut butter bars and were chatting excitedly about the previous night’s episode of Game of Thrones. Everyone in the group watched the show except Penny, who wasn’t a fan of all the violence and gore.

From what she could gather, a major character had died last night, which seemed to happen almost every week. Also something involving incest, which—again—seemed to be a frequent occurrence.

“These peanut butter bars are outrageous,” Olivia said, changing the subject. “I don’t know how you do it.”

Penny dug in her bag for the baby hat she’d been knitting on Friday. “It’s just chemistry and following instructions. But thank you.”

“How are you holding up?” Vilma asked, quirking a motherly eyebrow at her.

“I’m fine!” she replied a little too brightly.

Vilma’s eyebrow slanted into skepticism.

“Honestly!” Penny said. “I’m feeling good about the breakup.”

“She’s feeling so good, she’s given up men,” Jinny said.

Cynthia lowered her knitting and laid a concerned hand on Penny’s knee. “Honey.”

“It’s a good thing,” Penny said, spacing out the mint green stitches on her circular needles. “And it’s not forever. I’m just taking some time to enjoy being on my own for a while.”

“I think that’s very healthy.” Cynthia gave an approving nod as she picked up her own needles again. She was knitting a complicated intarsia sweater for her husband’s birthday, and her lap was covered with a half dozen different colored yarn bobbins.

Penny didn’t mention that she’d been feeling lonely and horny. Not even a week into her no-men resolution, and she was already sick of being single. It was fine though. She just needed to get used to it again. That was what smutty fanfic was for.

Esther leaned forward for another peanut butter bar. “Penny thinks she’s too nice, and that’s why she keeps getting cheated on.”

“Oh, honey, no.” Vilma’s head tilted in sympathy. “They cheated because they were cheaters. It’s their problem, not yours.”

Penny shook her head, keeping her eyes on her stitches. “Even if that’s true, I bear some responsibility for dating so many of them. I keep choosing cheaters for some reason, and that’s on me. I’ve obviously fallen into a bad pattern and I need to break out of it.”

“Do not change yourself for men,” Esther said around a mouthful of peanut butter bar. “It’s not worth it.”

“Okay, but…” Penny hesitated, trying to organize her thoughts. “What if I want to change? What if I’m tired of being the nice girl? What if I want to try being the fun girl to see what it’s like? Maybe it’s better.”

“It’s not better,” Jinny said. “Trust me.”

“And you are fun.” Cynthia nudged Penny with her elbow.

Penny wrinkled her nose. “I have schedules for my schedules. I think I need to practice loosening up a little for my own benefit, if nothing else. Try being more spontaneous. For example—” She glanced at Esther. “How often do you hand-wash your bras?”

Esther blinked. “You’re supposed to hand-wash bras?”

Jinny rolled her eyes. “Don’t ask her, she’s a statistical outlier.”

“Okay, how often do you hand-wash your bras?” Penny asked Jinny.

“Once a week,” Jinny said, looking down at the lacework shawl she was knitting.

Penny narrowed her eyes. “Be honest.”

“Okay, every other week,” Jinny admitted. “But I own a lot of bras.”

Penny turned to Olivia. “What about you?”

“Every few weeks, maybe—but I take my work wardrobe to the dry cleaners every week. I think I should get bonus points for that.”

“And you?” Penny asked Cynthia.

She shrugged. “Once a month—but I don’t wear bras every day.”

Penny couldn’t imagine walking around without a bra, even in the privacy of her own home. When she’d weighed more, she’d even had to wear a bra to bed at night while she slept.

“Vilma?” Penny glanced at the older woman. “How about you?”

“Never,” she said. “I have one of those lingerie bags so I can throw them in the washing machine.”

Olivia twisted her mouth to the side. “I don’t see what this has to do with you not being fun.”

“I hand-wash my bras twice a week, you guys.”

“Okay?” Olivia said, still looking confused.

“Twice a week! A fun person does not spend two nights of every week hand-washing delicates.”

“But bras are expensive,” Jinny said. “You should take care of them.”

“Maybe I’m tired of always doing what I should,” Penny said with a sigh.

Esther’s eyes lit up and she pointed a finger at Penny. “You need one of those boob sling towels!”

“What’s that?” Vilma asked, looking up.

“It’s like a sling for your boobs that goes around the back of your neck,” Esther said. “But it’s made of towel material, so it’s soft and cozy and absorbs all your underboob sweat. It’s for wearing when you get out of the shower or around the house.”

“Sounds weird,” Cynthia said, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

“It would be nice to walk around my house without a bra,” Penny said wistfully. “And without underboob sweat.”

Jinny shrugged. “I do it every night.”

Esther scowled at her. “You people with your reasonably-sized boobs can’t understand what it’s like for the rest of us.”

“Do you do that thing where you tuck your shirt under your boobs?” Penny asked Esther.

“Yes!” Esther nodded vigorously. “All the time!”

“I think this boob sling sounds like heaven,” Vilma murmured as she sipped her wine.

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” Penny said. “That’s what I need.”

Cynthia’s brow furrowed as she reached for her own wine. “A boob sling?”

“Yes!” Penny gave a decisive nod. “I mean, literally yes, I need one of those. But also metaphorically. I need to get out of my rut and try more things that are different and weird.”

Jinny looked up, grinning. “Are we talking about sex now?”

“Maybe, but it doesn’t have to be.” Penny glanced toward the counter and caught Caleb staring at her. She hastily fixed her eyes back on her knitting. “It could be anything, as long as it’s different.”

“You moved out here,” Olivia said. “That was new and different.”

Penny shook her head. “But I only did it because Brendon would have broken up with me if I hadn’t. It was the safe choice. Or I thought it was, anyway.” She’d been more scared of losing him than moving to a new city. That wasn’t courage, it was desperation. And then she’d lost him anyway.

Penny might have a name that sounded like a storybook heroine, but she’d never acted like one. She’d never been the type of girl who’d follow the rabbit down the hole to Wonderland, or climb out a window after Peter Pan, or go on an unexpected journey with Gandalf and a band of unruly dwarves. She was the girl who left playtime early to do her homework and straighten her room. She’d never take a risk on an uncertain venture. Not on purpose, anyway. That was the problem with life: even the sure things could pull the rug out from under you. So what was the point of always playing it safe?

“I want to be more spontaneous,” Penny said. “Take some risks instead of always sticking to the safer path. I want to hike the steep path and have adventures.” She needed to be like Bilbo: stop fussing over the dwarves’ dirty dishes and go chase dragons with them instead.

“I prefer the safer paths.” Vilma’s gaze drifted to Penny. “There are fewer rockslides on the safe paths.”

“But the views are better on the steep path,” Penny said. “I want better views.”

Esther looked confused. “Are we still talking about men?”

Penny sighed. “I don’t know, you guys, I just feel like I need to try something different. Instead of rearranging my life to suit someone else, I need to focus on getting what I want.”

“It sounds like what you want is more sex,” Jinny said with a knowing look. “And I applaud that.”

“Not just more sex,” Penny said emphatically. “Better sex.”

“Here’s your tea,” Caleb announced at Penny’s elbow

They really need to put a bell on him, she thought as her face heated.

He leaned over to set her mango tea on the table and nodded at her knitting as he straightened. “What are you making?”

“Oh. Um.” Penny smoothed it out so he could see. “It’s a baby hat.”

“Is it for Roxanne?”

“No, I’m making her a blanket. This is for one of my cousins.”

He nodded and glanced around the table. “You guys need anything else?”

“I think we’re good,” Penny said. “Thanks.”

His hand brushed her shoulder as he turned to leave, and Penny felt her heart lurch.

“What was that?” Olivia hissed when he was gone, her eyes widening.

“What?” Penny said, keeping her eyes fixed on her knitting.

“Hottie Barista being all friendly with you.”

Penny shrugged. “I’m a regular. I get special treatment.”

“I’ll say.” Esther lifted her eyebrows. “He touched your shoulder.”

“And smiled,” Jinny added. “He never smiles.”

“He did not,” Penny said. “You’re exaggerating.”

“He was totally flirting with you,” Jinny insisted.

“No, he wasn’t. Don’t be ridiculous.” He was just being friendly. Platonically friendly.

Olivia shook her head. “I’ve never seen him talk to anyone unless he had to.”

Cynthia directed a smirk at Penny. “There’s your adventure right there.”

“I’ll bet he smells great.” Jinny sighed dreamily. “He looks like he’d smell nice.”

“But not too nice,” Cynthia said, still smirking.

“Yeah, just a little dirty.”

“Just the right amount of dirty.”

Penny shushed them. “Guys, he’s right over there. And he’s a person, not a piece of meat.”

Esther snorted. “I’ve seen no evidence to support that claim.”

“It’s definitely weird,” Jinny said. “Hottie Barista never talks to anyone.”

Penny frowned at her knitting. “His name is Caleb, and he talks to me sometimes.”

“I rest my case,” Jinny said, arching a smug eyebrow.

“It’s only because I’m in here every day.”

“I always assumed he was a robot,” Olivia said thoughtfully. “A beautiful, lifelike robot.”

“He is very attractive,” Vilma said.

“You should hit that,” Jinny said, nodding at Penny.

Esther shook her head. “Mmm, bad idea.”

Jinny turned to look at her as she reached for her wine. “Why? He’s gorgeous.”

“Reason number one: hot guys are never any good in bed.”

“Ouch,” Cynthia said. “Damn. What about Jonathan?”

“Yeah.” Jinny shot Esther an accusatory look. “Are you saying he’s bad in bed, or are you saying he’s not hot?”

Esther rolled her eyes. “Neither. He happens to be fantastic in bed and he’s hella cute. But he’s also smart and sensitive and funny and those are the qualities that make him a good lay. Hottie Barista, on the other hand, is an empty vessel. Guys like that don’t have anything going for them but their looks. You seriously think there’s anything in that pretty head of his other than his own ego? Doubtful.”

Penny wanted to defend him, but she knew if she did, they’d just double down on the idea that he was flirting with her.

“What’s reason number two?” Vilma asked Esther.

“Don’t shit where you eat.”

Penny scrunched up her nose. “Gross.”

Esther shrugged. “You come here every day, right? He might as well be a coworker. Bad idea.”

“Hey!” Jinny protested. “Yemi and I work together.”

“No, you don’t,” Esther said. “You work in the same building, but you don’t work together. If you broke up, you’d hardly ever see each other. Not that you’re breaking up,” she added hastily. “You guys are obviously perfect for each other and you’ll be together forever.”

“Thank you,” Jinny said.

Esther turned back to Penny and hooked a thumb at the counter where Caleb was working. “You bag that prize and then what? You really think he’s got long-term boyfriend potential?”

Penny didn’t even think he had fleeting encounter potential. The entire hypothetical lacked plausibility.

“Unless there’s a happily ever after in your future,” Esther went on, “you’ll have to deal with an awkward encounter every time you come in here.” She shook her head sadly. “Better just to find a new favorite coffee shop.”

“I don’t want to find a new place to meet,” Vilma said. “I like it here.”

“They have wine,” Cynthia pointed out.

“That’s what I’m saying.” Esther turned back to Penny. “I mean, sure, he’s hot. But is he hot enough to deal with the consequences?”

Jinny gazed across the room at Caleb. “Maybe.”

As Penny watched him wipe down the counter, she let her mind wander over the possibility. In detail. Luxuriating in the fantasy. Imagining his mouth and his hands on her. His hard body pressed against hers. His warmth everywhere, filling her up…

Nope. Ridiculous. It could never happen.

“This conversation is absurd.” Penny shook her head to clear away the images. “I’m off men, remember?”

“Sure you are,” Jinny said. “We’ll see how long that lasts.”