How do you seduce a man?” Penny asked when she went for coffee with some of the women from her yoga class the next morning.

Melody shrugged. “I honestly haven’t the faintest idea.”

Tessa reached for her coffee, shaking her head. “Definitely not my area.”

They both turned to look at Tessa’s girlfriend Lacey, who had the body of a female wrestler and a face that could be on the cover of Vogue.

“Why is everyone staring at me?” Lacey asked. “Just because I’m bi you assume I’m some kind of loose woman? That’s a vicious stereotype.”

Tessa’s eyebrows lifted in amusement. “A ‘loose woman’? Did we time travel back to the Jazz Age?”

“Come on,” Melody said, poking Lacey in the arm. “I know you’ve dated more men than me.”

Lacey shook her head. “I’ve slept with more men than you. Sex isn’t the same thing as dating.”

“But that’s exactly what I want,” Penny said. “I don’t want to date him. I just want to sleep with him.”

“Wow,” Lacey said, looking surprised.

“What?” Penny could be a loose woman if she wanted to. There was nothing wrong with being a loose woman. It was called being in charge of your own sexual desire.

“I thought you were off men,” Melody said.

Penny shrugged and sipped her latte. “I’m off relationships. Meaningless sex is still on the table.”

“Who are you trying to have meaningless sex with?” Tessa asked, resting her chin in her hands.

“It doesn’t matter,” Penny said. “It’s just this guy.”

“I’m going to need more details if you want my advice,” Lacey said, letting her long, black hair out of its ponytail. “Spill.”

Penny stared at her coffee. “He kissed me the other day, so I know he’s attracted to me, but I’m having trouble getting him off first base.”

“Maybe he’s trying to be a gentleman,” Melody said.

“But that’s the whole problem. I don’t want him to be a gentleman, I want him to bang me like a screen door.”

Tessa’s eyes widened. “Penny!”

“What? What’s wrong with that?”

Lacey grinned. “Nothing’s wrong with that. High five, girl.” Penny reached across the table to slap her palm.

Melody frowned. “But maybe he’s taking it slow because he wants more than just meaningless sex.”

“Not an option,” Penny said. “He’s moving away in a few weeks.”

Lacey nodded. “You want a goodbye bang. One for the road.”

“Yes!” Penny leaned forward excitedly. “That’s exactly what I want! How do I get him to do that?”

Everyone looked at Lacey again. “Seriously?” she said.

Tessa smirked at her. “Everyone at this table who’s successfully seduced a man into your bed, raise your hand.”

Lacey lifted her chin in Melody’s direction. “You. Raise your hand.”

“Nope.” Melody shook her head. “My seduction technique amounts to following a man around like a lovesick idiot for months hoping he’ll notice me eventually. I don’t recommend it.”

Penny looked hopefully at Lacey. “Come on. You’ve got to have some wisdom you can give me.”

Lacey rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine. Here it is: men are dogs. They don’t need to be seduced.”

“How does that help me?” Penny asked, confused.

Lacey knocked back the last of her coffee and pushed the cup away. “You’re overthinking this. Men’s brains are in their dicks. If you try to be coy or subtle about it, they won’t catch on. You want this guy to sleep with you, just be direct. Come right out and ask him to.”

“You mean like one of those survey memes? ‘Do you want to sleep with me? Yes or no.’”

“Exactly like that. Men are always looking to get off. If he’s even the least bit interested in you, he’ll say yes. He won’t be able to help himself.”

Penny felt like Caleb had been pretty good at helping himself so far, but maybe Lacey had a point. Maybe she’d been holding back too much. Waiting for him to take it to the next level instead of grabbing the reins herself.

Maybe instead of trying to flirt with him, she should just proposition him. Point blank.

After coffee, Penny went home and took a shower. As she stood under the hot spray, she contemplated the best way to implement Lacey’s advice. Waiting until Monday was out of the question. Not only would she likely combust with unrequited desire long before then, it was too difficult to talk to him when he was at work. Too many distractions and avenues of escape presented themselves at the coffee shop. It needed to happen someplace private where they could speak alone. Preferably somewhere they could immediately act on their urges, should he accept her offer.

What Penny really needed was a do-over of yesterday’s encounter. She needed to get him back in her apartment, where she just happened to have plenty of privacy, a bed, and a generous supply of condoms.

That was a booty call, right? When you issued an invitation for the express purpose of having no-strings sex. That was what she wanted.

Penny tried to imagine herself calling Caleb on the phone and saying the words aloud. Her stomach quaked in fear at the mere thought. She knew herself well enough to know she’d never be able to blurt it out. Once she had him on the line she’d almost certainly chicken out.

But she could send a text. That way, there’d be no getting tongue-tied or weaseling out. She could take her time composing it, considering her words carefully, and send them into the ether without having to hear his voice or look him in the eye. Perfect.

But what to say? Penny had never composed a booty call text before—she’d never even had a booty call.

As soon as she finished drying her hair, she did what she always did in a situation like this: she got on the internet and did a search for “best booty call texts.”

The results were…eye-opening. And not entirely helpful. No way in heck was she typing anything as openly filthy as a lot of what was in the listicles she found online.

But it helped her familiarize herself with the etiquette, at least. The general pattern seemed to consist of an innocuous opening salvo inquiring as to your intended partner’s present availability. If that was answered in a promising manner, an invitation followed. Whether that invitation included sexually explicit specifics or a transparent offer to participate in a sex-adjacent activity like pizza and Netflix seemed to be a matter of personal preference. Either way, the goal of meeting up at a time and place conducive to sexual activity was achieved.

Penny considered her opening salvo. She and Caleb hadn’t done any casual chatting via text, which meant they didn’t have an established rapport in the medium. She was charting new territory.

First things first: establish his current availability.

Are you working today? she typed and hit send.

That seemed innocuous enough. If the answer was no, she could implement phase two.

The three little dots appeared that meant he was typing a reply, and Penny’s heart leapt into her throat as she waited for them to materialize into an answer.

No. I’m off until Monday.

Whew. That was the first hurdle cleared.

Now came the hard part: the actual proposition.

She held Lacey’s advice firmly in her mind. Be direct. If she equivocated by inviting him over for pizza and Netflix, he might come up with an excuse to decline. But if she came right out and invited him over for sex, he wouldn’t be able to say no. Theoretically. According to Lacey’s hypothesis, if he wanted to sleep with her even a little bit, he wouldn’t be able to help himself in the face of such a bold invitation.

Penny trusted Lacey. She was beautiful and confident and refreshingly frank. And from what Penny had gathered, before Lacey had settled down with Tessa, she’d had a busy and fulfilling social life. Which was exactly what Penny wanted. Especially the fulfilling part.

She took a deep breath and typed her next text.

Do you want to have sex? Yes or no?

She hit send before she could change her mind.

Her heart settled in her throat as she watched the message status change from “delivered” to “read.” What if he said no?

If he did, then at least she’d tried. She wouldn’t have to live with any regrets.

Just crushing humiliation.

But that was fine. She would only have to face him for a limited time. In a month, he’d be gone, and she could forget this ever happened.

The three magical little dots appeared again. Penny waited. And waited.

The dots disappeared.

Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach. What was she thinking? She should have known better than to get her hopes up.

The dots reappeared again. Penny was getting seasick from all the emotional highs and lows.

She watched the dots flicker on her screen, trying not to let herself be too hopeful. He was probably thinking of a nice way to say no. That was why it was taking so long. He was composing some long excuse to let her down easy.

A single word appeared on the screen.

Yes.

Penny nearly dropped the phone in shock. It had worked. She couldn’t believe it.

Her fingers trembled with excitement as she typed her next text.

How fast can you get to my apartment?

His reply was almost immediate.

Give me half an hour.