Chapter 13
Adrian
Incredible. The pleasure had built and swelled until I thought I would explode, then it was over, and reality started crashing down on me. I wasn’t sure how I could go from so happy I was almost drowning in the pleasure to so scared I didn’t want to move.
Would he hate me?
Had I pushed him too far?
Relief coursed through me as he gathered me close. He didn’t ask what I needed or make excuses and try to leave. He just pulled me to his chest and kissed the top of my head. If he was that tender, he couldn’t be mad. Could he?
Hands smoothed over my body and he held me tight, like there was nothing else in the world he’d rather be doing. True or not, I didn’t want to let the fantasy end. Everything about the night had been perfect. His teasing comments at dinner, the hesitant looks, the touch of his lips against mine, the way he’d finally taken over and become Master again…
Did it have to end?
Was it one of those moments we’d walk away from, both straining to ignore what had happened until it was something that would never be mentioned… until it pushed us apart? His hold started to relax, and it was suddenly too much — or maybe it wasn’t enough.
“Don’t let go.” I didn’t even realize the frantic words had come out of my mouth until his arms tightened around me again.
“I won’t.” Owen hugged me tightly to him, and I breathed in his scent. “Except to maybe get a little more comfortable.” He offered me a crooked smile. “I’d bitch about my ass being sore from this floor, but I think you probably have me beat there.”
“But you’ll stay with me? I know it’s not something we talked about, but—”
Owen cut my words off with a finger against my lips, “I’m not going anywhere, Adri.” He almost sounded like Master, but he almost sounded like my brother, too. Either way, it wasn’t quite the voice I was used to. It was somewhere in between, warm and rich and soothing.
I snuggled close, not trying to hide how much I needed his touch. Everything felt topsy-turvy, like I’d just gotten off one of those kids’ rides that spun in circles until you weren’t sure which way was up. Only Master was anchoring me, and I wasn’t ready to let him go.
I wasn’t ready to have Owen back and let Master fade away. I wasn’t ready to lose the rock that was holding everything down. Owen was usually part of the storm, but when he was Master, he felt like the only thing keeping me together.
He pressed another kiss to the top of my head and gave a low chuckle. I closed my eyes and sighed, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck. When one wandering hand reached down to grab my tail, I thought he was going to play with it again, so I was surprised when he took it out. It left me feeling… oddly empty.
“Is my pup being greedy?” Owen teased, his voice playful.
I blushed a little but pushed my face closer to him so he couldn’t tell while he put the plug aside. “It feels weird without it. I like my tail. I like being a puppy with you… Master?”
“Good,” Owen replied, smoothing his fingers through my hair. “Because I like you being my puppy.”
Warmth ran through me, the idea of being not just a puppy, but his puppy making it sound even better. “I like being your puppy, Master.”
Maybe it was too sappy, but I had to make sure he understood it wasn’t just a one-time thing for me or something that wasn’t important. I wasn’t sure what we were or what was going on, but it was more than that… It was special.
The way his breath caught told me he understood, and I was instantly on edge again. That knee-jerk expectation of rejection was still alive and well. But he only pressed his nose against my hair and breathed in, his arms briefly tightening almost painfully in the intensity of the hug.
“All… all of it?” he asked, stumbling over his words in a very not-Owen sort of way.
“All of it.” Part of me wanted to hide and leave it vague, but I didn’t want to give him any reason to question what I meant. As weird as the whole thing was, that would just lead to drama and arguments. “The tail. Your touch. You taking control. All of it.” Taking a breath to try and get my nerves under control, I forced the words out. “What about you? Did you like all of it?”
He nodded, but it took the words a moment to follow. “I…” He paused again, then his voice took on the familiar notes of Master. “Yes. Every bit of it, Pup.”
I believed him, and it made that warmth feel even more comfortable.
“But,” and my heart started to sink, right until his finger gently nudged my chin so I could meet his eyes, so intent upon my own, “we need to get you cleaned up and settled. All right?” That lopsided half-smirk was so familiar, but at the same time, it felt utterly foreign, too. “You can add that to your research. You know what aftercare is, right?”
Nodding slowly, I tried not to look nervous. “It’s where you stay and make sure I’m all right. But you’re not just staying because you have to, right? I don’t want—”
Owen broke in, shaking his head. “I know. I want to.”
Pushing away the fears I wasn’t ready to deal with yet, I attempted a flirty smile. “That means you have to help me wash up, don’t you?”
Owen laughed, a startled sort of sound that was surprisingly pleasant. I couldn’t help but be pleased that I could still catch him off guard.
“Hmm… Guess I can make that sacrifice. For research, of course.” Before I could start to panic all over again, he nudged me gently. “I want to. I want this. Stop thinking, or you’ll end up collared and plugged again, Pup.”
Was that supposed to be a punishment?
His eyes were smiling but the words were serious. I couldn’t be sure. If it was supposed to frighten me off, it wasn’t working.
“You don’t mind doing it again?” Not really what I’d meant to ask. “I mean, you said you didn’t, but when I want to relax and just… be a pup, it’s okay with you?”
He didn’t let me avert my eyes — not that I really tried, because it would’ve meant his fingers might move from my chin, and I didn’t want that at all. “Yes,” he said steadily. “I…” He sighed. When his hand fell away, I keenly felt the loss of his touch. “I like seeing you like that. Relaxed, letting things go, being free.”
I blinked at him. Of all the things I’d expected him to say, that hadn’t been it.
“And I like being someone else for a little bit,” he continued. “Someone… confident, who isn’t just a loser and a slut.” The edge of bitterness was there, I was sure of it, but it vanished so quickly that I couldn’t even tell when he hid beneath his mask once more. “Only thing I have going for me is that I’m not idiotic enough to skip the condoms.”
“I’m glad about that part, but you’re not a slut.” Was I imagining it, or did he flinch? He didn’t meet my gaze, that was for sure. I kept going, hoping I could get him to really listen to me. “You just know what you want and go after it. You wouldn’t wait for life to knock you over the head pointing out what you’ve been missing. You would have just gone for it. You’ve explored things, and all I’ve done is ignore the crazy things going through my head. You took control of your life and didn’t let everyone else tell you how to live it.”
How could he not see that? He was everything I wasn’t: confident, sure of himself and what he wanted. Commanding. Sexy.
I brought one hand to his chest and let my fingers skim over his shirt. “You got tattoos and didn’t even worry what anyone else thought. I never would’ve had that much courage.”
Owen finally looked up at me, and his eyes were glistening with… unshed tears.
I blinked. Had I ever seen him cry? I couldn’t remember. Not when we were kids, not at the funeral… though there had been the one time I’d thought I’d heard him through his door — but he’d told me to fuck off when I’d tried to ask if he was okay.
“I’m so jealous of you, you know,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I know I’ve been… cruel. It’s wrong, and I’m sorry, I really am. I just…” He bit his lip. “It was easier if you hated me.”
I stared at him in shock. It was like we’d watched the same movie but had seen completely different things. That wasn’t how I remembered it at all.
Before I could react, he barreled on, “You’ve always been perfect. You have a future people respect, and I like my fucking job even though people treat me like shit for it. Mom and Dad trusted you. Me?” He let out a hoarse laugh, shaking his head. “Didn’t matter what I did. They didn’t really see me.”
“No, it wasn’t like that at all.” I brought my hand up and cupped his face. “You were the one they respected. No matter what I did or how well I followed the rules, it didn’t matter. They respected you for taking your own path and making your own decisions. Even when you were little and you’d push back, they’d smile and shake their heads and look at you like you were so smart and feisty. Me? They just fussed and told me that I should do better, work harder… nothing compared to how proud they were of you.”
Owen sighed. “I was the second kid. You were their shining star, Adri, whether they let you know or not. They were glad they didn’t have to worry about you. I guess I sort of stole the spotlight a little, but I wasn’t as smart as you or as perfect as you, and…” He shook his head. “All right, that’s enough therapy for one night,” he said dryly.
I leaned in and gave him a kiss, just because I could and because I thought he needed it. He kissed back, one of his hands sliding down my bare back. Funny, how it didn’t seem strange at all that he’d be fully dressed while I wasn’t wearing anything. “They would have been so proud of you. You’re charging right in and are doing a fabulous job. You even got a promotion. I saw the paperwork you left on the table. Weren’t you going to tell me? I was so proud of you.”
Owen shrugged, his smile seeming forced. “It didn’t really seem to matter. Everyone thinks of it as some dead-end job to be ashamed of, even though there’s so much turnover that there are a ton of possibilities…” A flash of a grin that seemed more genuine flitted across his lips. “Plus, I get to boss people around. Total plus.”
Laughing, I leaned in and tucked my head against his neck again. “I should have known that was why you liked the job,” I teased him.
Letting my lips press against his skin, I took a chance and flicked my tongue over his neck. As much as I liked that he was sharing things with me, I didn’t like the way he saw himself. I wasn’t sure how to fix it. Distracting him seemed like the best option.
“I think you said you were going to help clean me up. That means you have to get naked, right?” I blushed and kept my face pressed against him so he couldn’t see.
His low chuckle said my distraction had worked. “Says who?” he retorted. “I can bathe you without taking off my clothes. But if you really want to ogle…” He leaned back and leered at me, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it aside.
Normally, the idea of it being so casually cast aside and left in a pile on the floor would’ve bothered me, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about anything but his bare chest.
Having permission to ogle and hopefully touch was so surprising that I just sat there for a moment, staring at him. He gave me a smirk and one eyebrow went up, almost challenging me.
I definitely had permission to touch.
Bringing my hand back to his chest, I felt the heat radiating from him. He was smooth and sculpted, and it made the tattoos stand out even more on his skin. I’d been drawn to them since the first day he’d come home with them, but this was different.
Telling myself they were interesting was one thing, but honestly acknowledging everything I really wanted to do was almost frightening. My hands traced over his chest, and I let my fingertips ghost over his nipples with the lightest touch. He made a soft sound that might’ve been a moan, but I couldn’t be sure. Peeking up at his face, I did it again. He bit his lip and gave me a heated look, and the stiff peak tightened under my touch.
There was just so much I wanted that I didn’t even know where to start — or where he was comfortable letting me explore. Moving my hand away from the sensitive skin, I let my fingers explore where they’d been itching to touch.
“I’ve always wanted to touch these.” I traced around the patterns and over the pictures he’d decorated his body with. “You would come out of the bathroom, and water would still be dripping down from your hair and over the tattoos. I just wanted to run my fingers over them.”
Days ago, even hours ago, I would have felt stupid telling him that, but everything was different. Everything had changed.
“I wanted you to run your tongue over them,” Owen admitted, dragging his bottom teeth over his lip and making me want to lick it, to suck it.
To do so much more than that, and it was nearly overwhelming.
“A couple I got when I was just being stupid,” Owen murmured, taking my hand in his and guiding his fingers to the flower between his shoulder and his chest. “Thought I’d be in less trouble if it was something pretty.” He grinned. “I wasn’t.”
“I loved them all.” My fingers kept moving over the skin. I couldn’t get enough. It was like some kind of a dam had burst inside of me. “I was so jealous every time I saw that you’d gotten a new one or when they would talk about it.”
I could have sat there all night, curled up in his arms. I wanted him a little more naked, though, and he was right about the floor getting uncomfortable.
I leaned close and kissed one that had drawn my gaze from the first time I’d seen it. It was a cross between a weather vane and a compass, and I wanted to ask about it. For now, though…
“Shower with me and then stay the night?” I pulled back enough to look up into his eyes. “I want to see you and touch you, and then I want to wake up with you so I know nothing has changed.”
He smirked, but there was no malice in it. “Everything’s changed, Pup. That’s the point.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “You knew what I meant.”
“Mm, maybe,” Owen said. He gently nudged me, helping me to my feet before following suit. “C’mon, Pup. Let’s get you cleaned up.”