Chapter 2
Owen
A responsible, well-functioning adult would’ve gone straight home after work. They’d have dutifully gathered up their belongings, maybe stopping by the library — do people even go to libraries anymore? — or grabbing coffee on their way.
It was a damn good thing I wasn’t either of those things.
Then again, I didn’t exactly have a home to go to, either. I had a place to live, with a brother who might as well have been a stranger and a growing pile of bills I was happy to ignore.
See, the thing is, people get all poetic and say there’s a difference between a house and a home. They talk about how homes are these mythical places where everyone loves one another and it’s all rainbows and unicorn farts. And hell, it was a great place to grow up. Right in the middle of suburbia, where everyone drove mom cars and acted like we were starring in Leave it to Beaver in public.
It was more like Pleasantville, at least once we hit puberty.
Adrian had always gotten hit with the “no girls in your bedroom with the door closed” clause — which he had obeyed, just like he’d obeyed every other goddamn thing in his life like he was an automaton. Me? I’d just played it cool and roughhoused with the boy next door.
Yeah. I did a lot of “wrestling” the summer I discovered just how much I liked cock. It was a given with me; of course I liked mine. But others…
Maybe that was why I wasn’t being a good ol’ adult and heading straight home. I could only imagine the look of disappointment and disapproval on Adrian’s face if I waltzed into the house with the hot guy who’d given me his number that morning.
I called him anyway. He invited me over, and presto. Multiple problems solved all at once: I didn’t have to go to the place that had once been home, I didn’t have to pretend to do adulting things, and I didn’t have to see my brother’s haggard face that went from pity to annoyance in the blink of an eye.
Seriously, how fast he could switch gears was like a fucking superpower.
I knew he was struggling. Mom and Dad’s deaths had hit us both hard — but that was why I wasn’t going to the house. I didn’t want to try to comfort him or be reminded of them at every turn. This?
Two words: hot guy.
His apartment was so clean that I was afraid to walk on the rug, and he eyed me when I tried to take a step from the mat onto the floor. Message received. I took my shoes off and set them neatly on the rug.
Cade visibly relaxed.
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
“Glad you could come,” he said.
I earned at least ten maturity points by not leering at him and telling him that I hadn’t come yet.
“Me too.” I closed the distance between us, half-expecting to fall on my ass in my sock-covered feet on his slippery floor.
He moved first, his hands already going to the button of my pants.
I wasn’t going to complain. It was either fuck Cade’s brains out or think about my dead parents and my too-perfect older brother. I did not have to be a rocket scientist to figure out which would be the better choice.
“Been wanting to kiss you since the first time you opened your mouth,” he breathed.
I’d been wanting to shove my cock into his mouth since the first time he’d opened his, but I’d learned early on that that wasn’t the sort of thing you said if you wanted to get laid. “Then shut up and kiss me.”
Amateur porn star, that was me.
Kisses led to touches; touches led to clothes being shed. I made it a point to leave a nice trail from the front door to his bedroom, like a better version of breadcrumbs in case I had to flee. Without shoes.
At least I wouldn’t be wearing heels.
By the time we got to his bed, I was wearing one sock, and he was on perfect display for me.
“You smell like fries,” Cade commented.
“I work in fast food,” I reminded him dryly.
I saw that look on his face, the one people always got — like I was somehow inferior because I flipped burgers and salted the fries. Those people had never stared down a line halfway out the door, facing screaming children and parents who had said they didn’t want onions, damn it, so why did they have them?
It took serious balls to work in customer service, especially when it came to people’s food.
Good thing I had them.
For a few seconds, I thought Cade was going to reject me then and there based on my job alone. College student by day, fast food employee by night, didn’t exactly sound impressive.
But hey, those student loans weren’t going to pull a vanishing act any time soon.
He leaned in, though, cupping my ass and tugging me closer. “You smell good enough to eat.”
He sounded like a fucking amateur porn star trying to recover from a bad take.
I choked back a snicker, choosing to kiss him instead of commenting. He was too close to my cock, and I didn’t exactly want to get kneed in the groin, thanks. The amusement faded as our kisses became more and more feverish, as his hand found my cock and slowly slid along the shaft. I groaned, thrusting my cock into his hand.
“Get on the bed,” he urged. “Ass up, gorgeous.”
I realized then that we hadn’t had the talk. You know, the one where I told people that even though I looked like a goddamn twink, that did not mean I dreamt about taking it up the ass, thank you very much. “I don’t bottom,” I informed him.
Cade stroked my cock slowly, wheedling, “Just this once?”
“Gonna suck my cock if I take it like a big boy?” I challenged.
He grinned, the look surprisingly wolfish. “Deal.”
All right, so maybe it was worth it to get a nice blow job out of it. It wasn’t like I’d never played on the receiving end before, and it had been a fucking week since I’d managed to find someone worth the time.
Desperation was never pretty, but I wasn’t the celibate type.
He grabbed the lube, playing the part of the considerate lover. He opened me up with those slick fingers, even had me moaning for more. I expected to hear the sound of a condom wrapper being ripped open, but instead, I felt the blunt head of his cock at my ass.
“Condom!” I reminded him, my voice sharp.
Like hell was I going to risk my ass — literally — again. I’d learned my lesson pretty fucking fast when the guy I was screwing in high school had an STD scare, and that had been with us using a condom. I could only imagine how girls had to feel. Even as bad as the diseases were, they didn’t result in a parasite living in them for almost a year.
At least, I didn’t think so.
“I’m clean,” Cade informed me.
I squirmed away from him, and he let go — thank fucking God or whatever the hell had him listening. “Nope. Nope, nope, and nope.”
“You’re not?” he asked, staring at me as I pulled away.
“I am,” I shot back harshly. “Clean, that is.”
“So what’s the fucking problem, Owen?”
Hey, the dude remembered my name. That was pretty impressive right then and there. “I don’t do bareback.”
“It feels so much bet—”
“You can just stop that spiel right there,” I told him, hopping up and trying to find my sock. How the fuck was I wearing just one?
“Oh, don’t be that way,” Cade said, sliding off the bed.
“What way?” I demanded, giving up on the sock and grabbing my pants instead. “Careful?”
“You’re acting like I’m gonna knock you up or some shit. I’m clean, you’re clean, what’s the problem?”
“That right there,” I informed him, tucking my briefs in my back pocket and stalking into the living room to find my shirt. “Bet you tell that to all the boys. But how many guys have you fucked since you got tested last?”
His silence spoke volumes.
I grunted, yanking the shirt over my head.
“I’ll wear a condom,” Cade protested. How he still had an erection, I had no idea.
Mine was sure as hell gone. I shot him a look. “No.” I slid my foot into the first shoe in his too-clean fucking apartment, wondering how a neat freak wouldn’t even bother with condoms.
“How many people are actually willing to fuck you?” Cade asked.
I stopped in my tracks. That was such a trick question. “Eleventy-one,” I said dryly.
He gave me a blank look. Clearly, he didn’t appreciate hobbits. It was probably a sensitive topic, considering he had enough body hair to pass for one.
“Do you have a point?” I asked, shoving my sockless foot into my second shoe.
“Look, I’m just saying. Your milkshakes won’t bring everyone to the yard, burger flipper.”
I went still. It wasn’t like his judgment was anything new, but it never failed to hurt. But I put on my best smirk, retorting, “I’d love to see you survive a day behind the counter, Cade.”
That time, he was the one to stare at me. I straightened up, and I watched him — and he looked fucking pissed. What the hell had I done this time?
“My name’s not Cade,” he hissed. “It’s Zack.”
Well, fuck.
For once, someone had gotten my name right, and then I’d gone and screwed it up. And where the hell had I come up with Cade from Zack? Embarrassing. At least it was easier to be an asshole to him.
I waved my hand dismissively and rose, only to almost trip over the fucking carpet. I caught myself against the door with the utmost dignity then left, hearing the door closing with a resounding slam behind me.
Those plans utterly ruined, I couldn’t put the inevitable off much longer. I reluctantly headed home in Dad’s old car, hoping the rattling wasn’t the sign of yet another thing going wrong, and — just to annoy him — parked behind Adrian.
I headed inside, being stealthy because I knew that irritated him too, and I wanted to share that particular state of mind. Petty, sure, but after Cade — er, Zack — had made comments I knew and hated, I wasn’t in the mood to be particularly nice.
Adrian would never have to worry about someone dissing him for smelling like fries — which I happen to like, even though it makes me hungry twenty-four seven. A low thrum of jealousy ran through me, and I steeled myself as I slipped into the house and hung up the keys.
I dutifully went to throw my laundry into the washer, only to find Adrian’s stuff still in there. Weird. He usually would’ve had it in the dryer within minutes, and he was nowhere to be seen. He was home, though…
I wandered to his room, barging in without knocking. “Hey, asshole. Your clothes—”
My mouth went dry, the words catching in my throat with a strangled sound.
There was my proud, lofty brother, sitting there on the floor with a collar around his throat and a — fuck, was that an anal plug with a tail? — in his hand.
I couldn’t help but admire him, the harsh lines of his body somehow seeming softer. It probably helped that he’d put something other than a stick up his ass for once, but…
“…d’you need help putting that in?” I managed to ask, openly gaping at him.
Earth to Owen. This is your brother, dumbass.
But brother or not, he was like a stranger to me, and I couldn’t keep my eyes from lingering on his body. It felt like everything was happening in slow motion, even as he hurried to recover, but I couldn’t look away no matter how much I knew I should have.
His mouth opened and closed several times. “No, thank you?” he asked more than said.
“Are you sure? It’s supposed to go in your ass,” I said helpfully, taking a step closer despite myself. “So you can stop opening your mouth and all.”
Before he could recover, I scanned the room, and I couldn’t help but grin when I saw the paused frame of the video on his laptop.
It was a nervous grin, of course. It definitely wasn’t anything to do with the fact that I’d seen that video before.
Adrian sat up, pulling his legs together to hide his obvious arousal. “It’s research.” He took a deep breath and glanced at the video. “I have a human sexuality class.”
“Oh,” I said knowingly, flashing him a grin that… Well, this one I couldn’t pass off as anything but smug. “A class. Right.”
He glanced around the room, probably looking to cover up his cock, but helping him out wasn’t in my best interest.
It should’ve been. I mean, I’d walked in on my brother with his cock out, and the only thing I was paying attention to was its size. I definitely had a few screws loose, which was ironic considering I hadn’t had nearly enough of them lately.
“Do you think you could… I need…”
Walking in on my brother playing with sex toys wasn’t crazy awkward for him, but he couldn’t ask for a damn blanket?
“Lube?” I supplied helpfully.
It probably wasn’t the nicest thing I could’ve done — all right, it definitely wasn’t the nicest thing I could’ve or should’ve done. But seeing my uptight, always composed older brother at such a loss wasn’t an opportunity I could pass up.
He always had the upper hand — always.
Except for right now.
Adrian looked indignant, finally losing some of his shock. “I have that. It was one of the first things on the list.”
I nearly choked. For once, I was the one at a loss.
He looked around and grabbed the tube from the floor, flashing his cock in my direction and giving me a long look at his naked body. “See. This is well thought out. It’s research. I’ve got it well planned out.” He looked around at the sex toys and computer on the floor. “It’s just… It’s, well… Not quite what I expected.”
“That might be because you didn’t… You know… do anything but gather stuff,” I said, but my voice was much quieter then. Fuck, who knew my brother would have a body like that? He wasn’t a bodybuilder by any means, but he was all lean, sharp in just the right places and soft in the rest.
Right now, he was hard in all the right places too. I shifted uncomfortably, telling myself it wasn’t because I was reacting at all. I was staring, but he hadn’t said anything about it yet. So fuck it, I was going to look.
I was going to be going to that special hell that was usually reserved for lawyers and televangelists.
“Gathering information and the necessary equipment is the first start to any research project.” Adrian looked like he was offended. “And I have no desire to… injure myself, so there is no reason to rush. The paper isn’t due until the end of the semester.”
How he could just sit there and calmly talk about due dates and research projects in the same context as kink was beyond me. “Uh… huh.” I didn’t know what else to say, which was disconcerting.
I knew most people probably would’ve stammered out an apology, turned around, and fled. Of course, I also knew that most people would’ve kicked me out by now, too. The fact that Adrian hadn’t…
Ah, fuck, he was probably just that oblivious, and I was the pervert leering at his brother.
“There is nothing wrong with taking my time.” Adrian’s voice was starting to sound more indignant. “Just because you jump off every cliff and into every bed doesn’t mean that I have to.”
I froze, staring at him and running those words through my head again. Well, score two for the universe and none for me. First what’s-his-name, then Adrian, taking swings at me hurt more than I wanted to admit.
“Just because you’re too fucking scared to take a risk or let someone close to you doesn’t mean I have to be a prudish asshole,” I snapped.
And because I couldn’t stand the idea of what he might say in return, I fled like a little bitch, slamming the door closed behind me.