Chapter 6
Owen
The third time someone had made a complaint like, “There’s cheese on my cheeseburger. I didn’t want cheese,” I knew it was going to be one of those nights. Every night has its unique flavor of customer, for better or worse, but that shift had seemed to be particularly special.
By the time we’d closed the doors and gotten the place cleaned up — and thank you, parents of the table by the window, for letting your kids do a finger painting in ketchup on the table. The mustard and mayonnaise touches really were special. They’re going to be brilliant artists one day.
I dragged myself home and got into the shower, ready to wash the day away. The smell of grease always clung to you, but I’d figured out the right combination of soap to at least get it off of me for a bit. Shower, check. Clean clothes, check — I’d even gotten dressed in the bathroom this time to avoid any awkward run-ins with Adrian.
I’d liked the feeling of his gaze on my skin just a little too much, even if I had constantly worried he was judging me. But then, that was nothing new. I was always afraid that he was looking at me and thinking I was just never going to be good enough.
I was in that weird space where my body was exhausted, but my mind was racing and I wasn’t ready to go to bed. I was restless, though, and I didn’t feel like doing much of anything. I hesitated, glancing at Adrian’s door as I went downstairs. The light was still on, and I stared at it for a moment.
I licked my lips, wanting to make some sort of overture, but I didn’t know what. It was always tricky, and even though we’d had a moment in our parents’ room, and we were tentatively getting along, that didn’t necessarily mean anything.
Well. It would be okay to make sure he was safe, right? He hadn’t seemed to know what he was doing with the plug, and it was only fair that I ask what his progress was…
I hesitated again, then knocked on the door, half hoping he wouldn’t answer.
He did.
Adrian opened the door a few inches, not enough to be welcoming but enough for me to see he was only wearing cotton sleep pants and not much else. Great.
“Hi.” His tone was cautious, like he wasn’t sure how to react. “How was work? Um, everything okay?”
I tried not to look at his chest. Fuck, I was such a perv. I guess it was partially because I didn’t feel like I knew my brother very well, so he might as well have been a stranger.
Right. I’d keep telling myself that.
“Yeah, it was fine,” I said awkwardly, wiping away a stray drop of water as it slid down from my still damp hair. “I just wanted to… you know, check on you.”
Adrian blinked at me and it took him a few seconds before he responded. “I’m fine?”
Was that a question?
“You know, the project…”
He finally looked down at the floor, not able to meet my gaze. “I’m… it’s… fine… Yes, it’s fine.”
“You know, that would be more convincing if you could say it and look me in the eyes.”
His head came up a little. “It’s fine?”
What the fuck?
“Right. Which is why you suddenly realized that the floor is old as fuck and looks like a cat got dragged across it,” I said, trying to keep my voice dry, but the words were half-hearted. I didn’t want to push him, but I didn’t want to lose what little ground we’d gained either.
Adrian frowned and looked back down at the floor, that time with a quizzical look on his face. “I don’t know how to clean carpet. Do you?”
“Not the point.”
“I… um… I haven’t done any more work on the project. It’s… It’ll be fine.” He shook his head and looked up from the carpet. “I have more time. I’ll get it done.”
“Uh huh,” I said, not even bothering to try to hide my skepticism.
My heart was beating a little faster. My gaze slid down a little, looking at his chest and wondering what it might feel like to—
He noticed me looking, and his cheeks reddened a little. He turned so it wasn’t as easy to look, and I berated myself for not only looking but also being caught.
I pretended it hadn’t happened.
“Do you need… you know… any help?” I finally ventured, fully bracing myself for a horrified, disgusted reaction.
Instead, his mouth opened and closed several times and I could see different emotions running across his face, but they were too fast to follow.
Finally, he just looked at me. “The puppies online always have a master.”
Was that a yes… Was that a no?
“It was a multiple-choice question, not fill in the blank.” It came out dry and sarcastic, but Adrian just smiled, the first one since I’d knocked.
“I’m a rebel.”
Now I was the one cracking a smile. “Sure. But does the rebel need help on his… research?”
Adrian turned and looked at something behind him and then back at me. “I…” His gaze dropped to the carpet again.
He managed to move his gaze from the carpet to somewhere near my knees. I guess it was a start. “I… Maybe? I don’t want to… I can’t ask someone else… There isn’t really anyone, and it’s… personal. I guess?”
“I don’t mind,” I said, my smile wry. “I won’t even make you crawl on the carpet.” I paused, then grinned at him. “At least, not unless you want to, that is.”
It got a smile out of him, tentative and awkward as it was, and it was good to see on his face. He didn’t smile enough, and maybe… maybe I smiled too much.
“I could help you with… you know, if you have a ball or something to play with,” I said slowly. “No fun playing fetch without someone to bring it to, right?”
I told myself that playing fetch wasn’t that different from tossing a ball back and forth… and it was better than asking about the leash, which was enough to send a shiver through me. The game would be better, less sexual.
Then again, I couldn’t deny the appeal of watching my big brother scramble to go after a toy on all fours, and — what the fuck was wrong with me? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go to the bathroom to throw up or jack off again.
“I’ve… I bought…” He wasn’t looking at the floor anymore, but at a spot on the wall behind me that was apparently so interesting he couldn’t look away. “I have a ball, but… the…” He finally looked at me, a little fear showing through his blank expression. “I can’t use the leash by myself.”
Fuck.
I wet my lips with my tongue, completely at a loss. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I swallowed hard, trying to gather myself. What would I even do with the leash? When I’d bought it, I’d thought… It had seemed like a nice gesture, at the time. Or something. But now that I was faced with this, I didn’t know what the fuck to do.
But I’d bought it for him, and I couldn’t very well refuse.
Keeping my own expression as impassive as possible, I nodded. “I could, um, run you through some leash exercises.” I paused, then hastily added, “If you want.”
The fear faded from his face, but he went back to focusing on the wall again. “I… As long…” He nodded. “Something simple?” He quickly added, “Just so I understand…”
“Research.”
He peeked at me then looked away again. “Yes.”
“Um, where do you want to…” My voice trailed off as he opened his door wider.
“I have… I was looking at…” He stepped back and pointed to his bed. “I already have the stuff out in here. I was trying… Well… to you know, but then you knocked… and well…”
I peeked into his room, half expecting to see the video of the puppy and his master again, but it wasn’t there. Either he hadn’t been looking, or he’d wised up and switched pages before opening the door. “We should have enough room,” I told him slowly. “For just a little lesson.” I offered a smile, but it felt a little tight. My heart was hammering in my chest, and I pulled out every bit of confidence I had. “First step of leash training is to get you to accept having one on, after all,” I told him.
At least, I thought it was. I’d never trained a dog before, and it wasn’t like I’d had a crash course in puppy play… Though it was looking more and more like it might be a good idea.
“How does that sound? Just for a little bit?”
“Fine.” Adrian cleared his throat. “That sounds like a good idea. I have the collar and leash. They’re on the bed… with the… tail and all…” He looked at me hesitantly. “I should get it?”
Oh fuck. Oh fuck.
I inhaled sharply, and for a moment, I imagined what he would look like with the tail in his ass, his cock and balls swinging…
Definitely going to that special hell.
My breathing was coming a little quicker then, and I felt like my face had probably paled until I was white as a sheet. But I bit my lip, then offered carefully, so goddamn carefully that I thought I might not manage it at all, “Do… Do you want to wear the tail, too? I mean, obviously the collar, but have you… Have you managed the tail?”
Special. Fucking. Hell.
Adrian’s face went red again. “I… haven’t… It’s… Maybe I’ll keep trying the tail another time.” He looked toward the bed and I couldn’t tell if it was embarrassment or longing on his face before he turned back to me. “I’m going to work on the tail. Just the leash today… Is that alright?”
“Yeah, probably good,” I said, nodding a little too quickly. “Don’t want to overwhelm you. Get one thing down before the next, right?” Research. It was all goddamn research, not me getting to act out fucked up fantasies with Adrian. “So, um.” I gestured into his room. “Can I come inside? Don’t put the collar on yet, okay…” I trailed off, not wanting to give him too many orders at once.
“Okay…” Adrian started walking over to the bed, glancing behind him to make I was following. “Do I… The pups on… Well, they… kneel?”
I couldn’t tell if he was asking because he wanted to kneel or if he thought it was too fucked up and wanted to make sure he didn’t have to.
I licked my lips again, and my mouth felt too dry for me to speak at first. “Yeah,” I said softly. “Try to think of yourself as a puppy, okay? Not as Adrian.” Not as my uptight big brother who was somehow letting his defenses down in front of me.
He obeyed, but he looked every bit as red as I did pale. “Like this?”
“Shh,” I admonished him, but my tone was gentle. I crossed the room, running my fingers through his hair, petting him. “Good boy,” I praised.
A shiver ran through him — or was it a shudder? — and I almost stopped then and there.
“Do you have a safe word?” I asked hoarsely. “You know, a signal for me to stop if it gets to be too much. Just one word, and I’ll stop. I mean, I’ll stop if you say stop, but—” I was rambling, and I cut myself off, half-afraid of what the answer might be.
Adrian nodded, finally looking confident. “I read… That’s… Yes. Um, red, please.”
“Red,” I repeated, nodding. “Yellow, then, if something gets close to being too much, okay?”
It was fucking leash training. What was going to be too much about that?
Everything.
My hands were shaking as I picked up the collar, and I knelt beside him, stroking his hair again. “Good boy,” I praised again as he stilled, letting me put the collar on him.
And fuck, I was glad these pants were roomy, or I’d have been fucking uncomfortable.
I scratched lightly behind his ear, and slowly, I started to regain my confidence. “Stay,” I ordered him. I grabbed the leash. “You want to go for a walk, Pup?” I asked, running my fingers over the metal of the leash’s clasp.
He looked at me, confusion and longing on his face, then nodded hesitantly and quietly.
If we were going to do this, we were going to do this.
I tilted my head. “Is that how puppies say yes?” I asked him, quirking a brow. “I think you can do better if you really want to go for a walk, hmm?”
He looked down at the floor and a low whine escaped him. It was just the barest hint of a sound, but it was something, so I just waited… then a little bark followed. It was so quiet I almost didn’t hear it. His face flushed red and his head dropped with his clear embarrassment.
I didn’t want to push him too far, but the sound made my cock throb. “Good boy,” I said instead, smoothing my hand over his hair. “Such a good boy for Master, Pup,” I told him.
It was too easy to fall into this, to tumble down this path like I was Alice going down the rabbit hole. But he was going along with it, and I didn’t want to stop until he told me to.
I clipped the leash to his collar, again praising him. “Up,” I urged him, and I wanted so badly to slide my hand along his side and coax him into the best position. “We’ll take it slow today, Pup. I know you’re just learning,” I said, going for a tone that was as soothing but firm as I could. “Can you take a step toward me, Pup?”
Adrian shifted to all fours cautiously, watching my reactions. He gave another low whine, and I reached out a hand to caress his head, trailing my fingers down his neck to trace around the collar.
He leaned into my touch and I could see some of the tension leaving his body. It wasn’t much of a change, but it felt huge, like he was starting to trust me and see me as his master. I was heading straight to hell, but he was too sweet like this to pull away from. I had to see where this went, and backing away was quickly becoming impossible.
“Good. So good for me,” I said again. He’d said he liked that, the reassurance and the praise, and I found that I liked offering it to him.
It was a heady feeling, watching him surrender to me and knowing he was relaxing instead of tensing up.
I let out a little more slack in the leash, letting it drape between us. “Stay,” I told him firmly, taking three steps back, four, enough to where the leash was almost pulled taut.
He stayed. Not only did he stay, but I could see something blossoming on his face that I couldn’t have explained if the world had depended on it.
I swallowed hard again, trying to clear the lump from my throat. I was breathless as I repeated, “Stay. Good boy.” I waited several heartbeats, but he just sat there, looking at me trustingly, waiting on his master. “Good boy.”
He blinked at me, giving me a long thoughtful look, then barked. He blushed and looked down at the floor, then peeked up at me through long lashes and watched my reaction. He was clearly reaching out, but fuck if I knew where it was going.
“Shh. Stay.” I gave him a look I hoped was encouraging. I waited a few more heartbeats. Finding the fine line between helping him navigate the world of puppy play and abusing his trust was… frustrating, to say the least. “Okay,” I said with a beckoning gesture. “Come.”
Adrian moved forward awkwardly, getting closer to me then stopping and waiting for a second before moving toward me again. It took longer than it should have for him to reach me, but by the time he was kneeling in front of me, I could almost see his ass twitching like there really was a tail to swing back and forth.
I wouldn’t want to see a mask, though; I wanted to see his face as he watched me, wanted to see the anticipation and the bliss and the awkward fear that was fading by the second.
“Such a good boy,” I said again, scratching behind his ears. He responded so beautifully to those words, gave in so easily. I wished I had something to reward him with, but all I had was this.
All I had were words, and the hope that I didn’t shatter his trust in me.
The longer we went on, the more relaxed he became, and I could see the effect it was having on him. I didn’t want to stop. I wanted this closeness, this trust, to go on forever.