Chapter 3
Dreams.
It is amazing the images our subconscious minds can produce in our dream states.
Are they fantasies? Are they premonitions? Perhaps they are just our heart’s strongest desires brought to light when our conscious minds are unavailable to twist them into what has become our reality. We cannot always face our dreams and sometimes our dreams turn into nightmares; yet we tend to keep the richest of our dreams locked tight, deep down in the deepest part of our psyche unknowingly, hoping one day they will come true. I have always been one to have very vivid dreams; the problem being I don’t remember them or that I read too much into them.
My parents never understood my vivid imagination or strange way of looking at everything. Things have only intensified as I have gotten older, leading me to a diagnosis of severe anxiety and depression. My doctors believe I doubt everything that has the potential of being good, and that I tend only to see the negatives, instead of the positive.
I panic.
Life overwhelms me, and I lose myself.
Reading has always been my escape. When I find myself in situations I feel I have no control over, I love to immerse my mind into the alternate reality of the pages I am reading. Escaping through the writing of others soothes more than any medication that was ever prescribed to me.
Tonight, I went to sleep in a blissful state; slept peacefully with visions of a future with Mychal very vivid behind my closed eyes.
So naturally, I would wake to feeling unsure about what has happened and how I can convince myself that nothing has changed. I lie there quietly not wanting to disturb his sleep until my bladder decides it has other plans.
I attempt to move away from his side, and I feel a strong arm pull me back as he mumbles “No, stay with me.” At least that is what I interpret.
I squeal, “Mychal I gotta pee!”
In a sleepy whine I hear, “Fine, but hurry back.”
I return to the bedroom after relieving myself. He looks so peaceful that I debate joining him or getting myself ready to go back to my apartment. It only takes a second for me to give in to my yearning need to be near him. Once I am snuggled in beside him, he stirs and slowly opens his eyes.
We are facing each other as a mischievous grin spreads across his face. He pulls me in kissing me as his hands begin exploring. It has only been a few short hours, but his touch has reignited that spark... that burning flame deep within my core.
I want him.
I need him.
I fear I will never not feel this way for him now that I have had him.
He slides his hand down my side, over my ass, and down my leg before grabbing me behind my knee to bend my leg, draping it over his hip. He is already hard. I'm open to him, he grinds himself against me. Following his lead, I press myself against him; letting him feel my heat, how wet he makes me. He then rolls to his back, taking me with him.
I instantly freeze.
He calms my nerves, telling me, “You are amazing. Just do what feels good, Beautiful.”
I am sitting astride him, straddling his waist, grinding my pussy against the length of him. His deep moan is enough to make me continue.
I want him, and I tell him so. With one hand he nudges me to lift my hips as he uses the other hand to guide himself into me.
Slowly, he lowers me onto him. The fullness of him filling my pussy is exquisite. He is so deep, allowing me to feel every inch of him. He grips my hips, guiding me as he thrusts himself into my heat. The push and pull of his cock in my pussy, along with my grinding on him, leaves me undone.
Unable to contain myself I scream out his name in pleasure.
That combined with my orgasm pulsing around his cock sets him off, in his hoarse voice I hear, “Piper! That's it, Baby. Ride it out.”
No longer able to hold myself up, I collapse onto his chest. He holds me while still inside me, connecting us fully, even if for just this moment.
He kisses me on top of my head before his voice softly fills the silence, “You have no idea how amazing you are.”
Seeming reluctant, he pulls himself out of me and goes to clean up.
I lie there for a few moments, then startle from my sex induced stupor the moment I realize that we just had sex... without a condom! I am freaking out but refuse to freak out in front of Mychal; I will wait until I'm alone.
When he comes out of the bathroom he asks, “How are you?”
I force a smile on my face before responding, “I'm great. I just need a few minutes to get cleaned up.”
“I will make us coffee.”
As he heads out of the room, I stop him, “Oh, hey Mychal?” He turns to look at me. “Can I borrow some clothes?”
With an easy laugh he tells me where I can find his sweats and t-shirts.
I shower quickly, ignoring the tormenting thoughts running through my head.
I throw my hair up in a towel as I dress in a pair of Mychal's sweats, rolling them at the waist in an attempt to hold them up, and his shirt that I slept in; I could have grabbed a fresh one, but the smell of him still lingers on this one. Eying Mychal's toothbrush, I settle for squeezing toothpaste on my finger and doing the best I can until I have access to my own.
Making my way back into the bedroom, I realize the heels I wore over here really aren't the fashion statement I want to make with this outfit, so I grab a pair of socks from the drawer I saw Mychal take a pair from earlier. They are way too big for me, but at least I'm not barefoot.
Just as I reach the door to meet Mychal in the living room, I hear his phone ring. I take my time walking down the hallway, not wanting to interrupt him. When he answers, I can tell by his greeting it is Kenzie and I stop where I am. It sucks listening to a one-sided conversation, but I wish I had stayed in the bedroom a few minutes longer and avoided this one altogether.
“Hello” he answers, then lets out a chuckle.
“Well, good morning to you, too Sis.”
“What? ... Yes... Yeah, of course... She’s fine.” He laughs again.
“Look, she's fine... after you left the bar we came back here to hang out. We talked... it got late. We decided she should just crash here, and I would bring her back to you safe and sound this morning.” He says with sarcasm.
“No... she didn't call you because she didn't want to interrupt anything you and Tyler may be doing.” Laughing he continues, “I however, told her she should call you anyway because her safety was more important to you than anything the two of you could be doing.”
More laughter, and as I hear the call about to end, I continue walking out with my head a mess.
“Yes... Okay, see you soon. Love you too, Sis.” He looks up at me with a grin as he ends the call.
“Want some coffee?” Already knowing my answer, he grabs a mug for me before continuing, “Kenzie was checking in on you. She’s mad at us for not checking in with her last night.”
He hands me the mug, and I'm a little surprised he remembers how I like my coffee. When I don't respond he asks, “You okay?”
NO! “Yes, I'm fine. Just a little tired.” I lie.
“We could always go back to bed.” He winks at me.
I want nothing more than to go back to his bed... with him... and forget the battle going on inside me.
But instead I try for a joke, “What? And have Kenzie show up here to make sure I’m still alive?”
He humorously adds “Yep, I'm sure that would be a site... her coming in here to find us in bed together. That wouldn't be a shock to her at all.”
He seems to find this hilarious, so I laugh along with him. “I'm pretty sure she'd kill us!”
“Me. She'd kill me.” He’s laughing but completely serious.
Maybe he just doesn't want to upset Kenzie, that's why he made my stay seem so casual. With that thought I feel slightly better and decide to try to enjoy the last few moments, here, alone with Mychal in his apartment.
After we finish our coffee, he comes up wrapping his arms around me from behind asking if I’m ready.
I sigh, “Not really, but we really should get going.”
I am close to tears. My eyes are downcast as I swallow past the lump in my throat. Just because I knew last night would end, that doesn’t mean I wanted it to. I was stupid to believe I could go back to the way things were before.
Before, when it was easy to pretend, I was happy being single, perfectly content with my own company. And perhaps more importantly, when it was easy to pretend, I was not in love with Mychal.
I walk my mug over to the sink, grab my purse, sling last night’s dress over my arm and give one last somber look to the apartment that now holds so many wonderful memories for me. Memories of a night I will never forget... and pray I never regret.