Sixteen
“FEELING nervous?”
Alex nodded. His heart was beating so fast. Last night, this had seemed like a good idea, but now he was actually standing outside the club.
Pietro squeezed his hand tightly, reassurance that Alex wasn’t there on his own. Alex gave him a grateful smile, and then taking a deep breath, crossed the street with Pietro, heading for the main door. A different security guard was manning the door, but he smiled when he caught sight of Pietro.
“Evening, Tony,” Pietro called, smiling widely. “I’ve got a guest tonight.”
“Hi, Pietro.” Tony gave Alex a polite nod before asking for his name and noting it. Then Pietro went through the main door with Alex following him. Once again, Alex found himself in the reception area, where Pietro collected a green wristband for him.
“What’s the significance of the band?” Alex asked, noting Pietro didn’t select one for himself.
“Wristbands are for visitors,” explained Pietro. “Green means you’re checking out the club, that you’re not here to play. So the Doms shouldn’t give you any hassle.”
Alex snorted. “Tell that to Joe,” he said, remembering the Dom from that Thursday night.
Pietro gave a short laugh. “Knowing Joe as I do, why does that not surprise me? Anyway, a red band means you’re here to play and anyone can approach you.” He glanced at Alex’s wrist, now adorned with the green band. “You ready?”
Alex took a steadying breath. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
Pietro pushed open the door and led Alex inside.
Now that he knew what to expect, Alex could take in more of his surroundings. The club was all on one level, as far as he could see. The bar area had tables set out with several chairs around them, but there were also booths tucked away for more intimate meetings. Everywhere he looked, there were small fridges stocked with bottled water, and bowls containing condoms and lube were located throughout the club. There were towels stacked in bales, and the temperature was pleasantly warm. Low tables and benches were positioned around the room, and the whole place seemed to be a maze of little corners and more open spaces. There were mirrors on virtually every wall and phones located every few feet. The music was low, and the lighting was enough to be able to see very clearly the various objects that made Alex’s cock fill: whips, floggers, canes….
“I want you to look at the subs,” said Pietro in a low voice. “Look at their faces, at how they behave. Forget about what the Dom is actually doing to them. Watch their interactions.”
Alex nodded silently, his attention already claimed by two men who were having a conversation around a table, glasses in front of them. What caught his eye, however, was the sub kneeling beside one of the men. He was naked, his buttocks resting on his heels, knees spread, hands resting palms down on his thighs. His eyes were downcast, and he seemed to be oblivious to his own nudity. Alex could tell his attention was focused intently on the man next to whom he knelt. A collar adorned his neck, and Alex could see the leash attached to it, held loosely in the Dom’s hands. Although the sub’s Master was deep in conversation, his hand strayed now and then to stroke the sub’s head, running gentle fingers through his hair.
What caught Alex’s attention was the look of utter contentment on the sub’s face. Whenever his Master’s hand caressed him, the sub glowed with pleasure. There was obviously a strong connection between the two men. Alex caught his breath as the Dom leaned down, cupped the sub’s face, and, pulling him gently toward him, kissed him tenderly. There was such beauty and honesty in the scene before him that, for a moment, he forgot where he was.
“Wow.” Alex uttered the word softly. “That look—it’s like his Master hung the moon.” He perceived Pietro nodding beside him.
Pietro nudged his arm. “Look over there.”
Alex turned to see a sub kneeling before a Dom standing with his back to the wall, pants open, his erect cock being eagerly sucked. The sub was enthusiastic, clearly enjoying his task, putting his heart and soul into pleasuring the standing man, who placed his hands lightly on the sub’s head, his face rapt. The Dom was staring down at the sub, openmouthed, and the noises that escaped those parted lips, audible even over the low music, were enough to stiffen Alex’s cock further. Alex tried to adjust his cock surreptitiously before looking away, feeling as if he were intruding.
Everywhere he looked, there were men in twos or threes, all involved in some intense activity or another. And each time the attitude of the subs was the same: they glowed when their Masters paid them attention.
“Good to see you here, Alex.”
Alex turned to find Thomas standing behind him. Alex dipped his head, his cheeks reddening as he remembered his speedy exit three weeks ago. Fortunately, it seemed as if Thomas bore him no ill will.
Thomas glanced at Pietro and grinned. “Nice work, pup.” He patted Pietro’s arm before walking off toward the bar.
Alex grinned at his friend. “Pup?”
Pietro grumbled good-naturedly. “It’s just an expression, okay?” But his eyes twinkled with amusement and something else—pride.
Alex laughed. “Actually, it fits perfectly. I’ve been looking at all the subs, and now I know what they remind me of. They all look like eager, loyal puppies who think their Master is the best thing in the whole wide world.”
Pietro grinned. “You’re right. That’s a really good image.” He was looking at Alex intently. “Does this feel different to your first visit?”
Alex nodded. It was a totally different experience. And Pietro had been correct. Having someone with him who knew what was going on helped him see the club through different eyes.
“I don’t want to show you much more,” explained Pietro. “I think you should come back another night… with Leo.” He fell silent, his eyes trained on Alex’s face.
Alex stilled, his thoughts suddenly of Leo. The visit had shown him one thing: he wanted to find out more about submission, to discover more about his own nature. Because something in the subs’ attitude resonated within him. As to where Leo fitted in all this….
Pietro suddenly pulled him toward the bar, pushed him down into a booth, and sat opposite him. He stared across the table at Alex, locking eyes with him. “Okay, I think we need to talk.”
Alex sighed. He didn’t want to talk. He needed to think. But Pietro wasn’t about to give up, judging by the way he was staring at him.
Pietro began speaking in a low tone. “I know you’ve been feeling like shit ever since you came here that night. But ask yourself why. Is it because Leo didn’t tell you about all this? Because you can’t get over him not sharing his lifestyle?” Pietro tilted his head, his gaze suddenly intuitive. “Or is it because you really miss the man? And not having him around really sucks?”
Alex knew immediately what his response was. He missed Leo. He missed their conversations. He missed the way Leo made him feel protected, cherished. He missed worshipping Leo’s cock with his mouth and fingers. And he missed the rapturous look in Leo’s eyes when Alex brought him to orgasm, and how good it felt to have been the one who provided Leo with so much pleasure.
Pietro was smiling at him, nodding. “I think I know what your answer is, babe. Where do you go from here?”
Alex knew exactly where he wanted to go. He just wasn’t sure what his reception was going to be like when he got there. There were still a few things to be ironed out. For one, there could be no more secrets between Leo and himself if this was going to work. And two, they needed to sit down and discuss where their relationship was heading and how big a role Leo’s lifestyle would play in any possible future they had together.
“Pietro, there’s somewhere I need to be right now,” he said, finally making a decision.
Pietro’s face broke into a wide, hopeful smile. “Oh, please tell me it’s Master Leo’s place,” he breathed.
Alex had to laugh at his expression.
“Do you know how to get there?” Pietro demanded, not letting up for an instant.
Now, that had Alex thinking. He’d been there a few times, but always in Leo’s car. He wasn’t sure he could find his way on his own.
As it turned out, he needn’t have worried.
“Leave it to me!” Before Alex could say a word, his friend disappeared, leaving him sitting in the bar on his own. Alex shook his head, chuckling. Pietro certainly seemed very keen on him and Leo getting back together. He could only surmise the sub’s description of Leo being a “mess” might have been an understatement. What had Leo been like around the club in these last few weeks? Judging from Pietro’s enthusiastic reaction to their possible reunion, he must have been pretty bad. And that got Alex thinking maybe Pietro’s willingness to help out had an altogether less altruistic motive behind it.
Pietro suddenly appeared beside him, only this time he had company. Miles was at his side, dressed in leather trousers and jacket, regarding his sub with an amused expression.
“Alex, Miles is going to take me home,” Pietro announced breathlessly, “but we’re going to drop you off first—at Master Leo’s apartment.”
Miles chuckled. “Before you go organizing us all, baby, maybe you ought to find out if Alex wants to go right now, unannounced? Don’t you think someone should make sure Leo is home first?” He winked at Alex.
“I already did,” said Pietro, looking pleased with himself. “Master Thomas rang him about ten minutes ago.” He gave his Master a triumphant smile. “Now can we go? Please?”
Miles huffed in resignation. “Come on, Alex. Looks like we’re giving you a ride.” Beside him, a gleeful Pietro pumped his fist into the air until Miles cuffed him playfully around the head. “And you need to behave, pup,” he said, giving Pietro a stern look, although the effect was totally ruined by the amused twinkle in his eye.
Watching the pair of them, Alex smiled, although suddenly he felt as though his insides were in a twist. He was going to see Leo. And after ignoring his messages and texts, he had no idea how Leo was going to react.
LEO lay stretched out on the sofa, his hand trailing down off the armrest to where a squat glass sat on the floor, containing scotch. He ran a finger idly around the rim, feeling no compulsion to drink the amber fluid. He wasn’t even sure why he’d poured himself a drink in the first place. The blinds were pulled back, revealing the night sky above the city. Ordinarily, he loved his view, but not tonight. For some reason the vast expanse of sky visible above the horizon, the stars just beginning to come out, made him feel incredibly lonely and insignificant.
Leo closed his eyes, shutting out the view. He wondered briefly what Alex was doing right now, whether he was working or not. The schedule Sev had given him was now out of date, and Leo felt lost not knowing where his boy was. His boy. Better to stop thinking that way now, he told himself angrily. For about the hundredth time, he cursed his decision not to share details of the club with Alex, although he had no way of knowing things would have turned out any differently if he had.
The main door buzzer sounded, shattering the stillness of his apartment. Leo glanced up at the clock on the wall. Who the hell was coming to see him unannounced at 10:00 p.m. on a Sunday night?
He rolled himself up off the sofa and went to the intercom by the front door “Yes? Who is it?”
“Leo? It’s Miles. I need to talk to you.”
Leo scowled. He didn’t want to see anyone from the club right now. It had been two days since Thomas had sent him home, and there’d been little or no contact with the club, save for the odd phone call from Thomas. Checking up on me, Leo thought wryly. “Miles. It’s late. If it’s something to do with the club, then go see Thomas. I’m on leave, remember?”
Miles’s voice crackled over the intercom. “I wouldn’t have called unless it was urgent. It won’t take long, but I really do need to see you.”
Grumbling under his breath, Leo pressed the access button. “It’s open. Come on up. Top floor, opposite the lift.” He gave the apartment a cursory glance, noting nothing out of place. Leo glanced in the mirror next to the door and winced as he caught sight of his refection. Christ, he looked rough. He was normally a meticulous man, but he hadn’t shaved that day, and the stubble gave him a dangerous look. An ironic thought crossed his mind. If Alex could see him now, he’d have thought Leo a drug dealer for sure.
There was a sharp rap. After unbolting the door, Leo flung it wide.
“So what’s so important you had to….” The words died in his throat.
Alex was standing in the hallway, and he was trembling. “Can… can I come in?”
Leo cursed inwardly to hear the hesitancy and uncertainty in Alex’s voice. He thought they’d gotten past that, but apparently Alex had taken a backward step. Leo looked past him into the hallway, curious as to Miles’s whereabouts.
“Oh, Miles and Pietro just gave me a ride here,” Alex explained. “They’ve gone.” He had not moved even an inch forward.
“Forgive me, Alex. Please, come in.” Leo stepped aside to allow Alex to enter. Alex stepped across the threshold, shivering as he passed Leo. Leo’s nostrils flared as he caught a whiff of the subtle citrus shampoo Alex always used. It had a tendency to cling delicately to his pillows, and there were nights when Leo would climb into bed to find his senses filled by the scent, a lingering reminder of Alex’s presence in his bed.
Leo closed the door and followed Alex into the lounge. The boy dropped his denim jacket onto the arm of the sofa and then stood in the center of the room, looking more than a little lost. Leo gestured, indicating Alex should sit. Their former ease with each other seemed to have been completely swept away.
“Would you like a drink?” Leo asked. Alex nodded, his eyes large and wide. “Green tea, or a glass of wine?”
“Wine, please.”
That told Leo something; Alex was definitely nervous. Leo walked into the kitchen and returned with a glass of chilled white wine. He handed it to Alex, who immediately took a long drink, exhaling shakily as he placed the glass on the low table in front of the sofa.
“I’m glad to see you.” Leo uttered the words quietly, the word “boy” on the tip of his tongue but omitted at the last moment. “I’ve missed you.”
Alex grabbed his glass and took another swig of wine. He gazed up, his eyes not quite reaching Leo’s. “I missed you too,” Alex began, a slight tremor in his voice. “But….”
Leo’s heart sank at that single word. “But?”
“We need to discuss a few things.”
Leo perched himself on the edge of the seat cushion at the opposite end of the sofa. He picked up his glass of Scotch, and in one swift movement, swallowed it all, the liquid burning his throat. He gasped. “Okay, then.” His words came out hoarse, thanks to the alcohol. Leo was pleased to see a smirk playing about Alex’s lips. “Can I say something first?” Alex nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the club or about my being into BDSM. Although, when I learned what books you were reading, I’ve got to say, it really gave me hope.” Alex smiled at that, which encouraged Leo to continue. “I have only one excuse.” The words were soft-spoken, but Alex appeared to be focused intently on them. “I was afraid.”
Alex’s smile was full of understanding. Leo could almost feel the tension starting to ease in him.
“You were afraid of scaring me off, weren’t you?” Alex suggested. Leo nodded, unable to tear his eyes away from Alex. Alex gave a half smile. “You were probably right. I’d have run a mile if you’d told me when we first met.”
Leo grinned. “Not the sort of information I like to share on a first date,” he acknowledged. “I… I wanted our relationship to be a bit more established before I revealed my… interests.”
“It’s okay, Leo. I understand that now.” He paused. “I went back to the club tonight with Pietro.” Leo’s head snapped up. Alex nodded, smiling. Leo could see him calming visibly. “Yeah, apparently it was Thomas’s idea.”
Leo shook his head. Trust Thomas to try and sort this out.
“I saw something in the subs that I recognized,” Alex said fervently.
Leo became still, catching his breath. There was something about Alex in that moment that captured all his attention.
“I saw myself.” Although Alex kept his eyes low, Leo couldn’t miss the blush that stained his cheeks. He moved to slide closer, but Alex stopped him, his hand outstretched. “Wait a moment.”
Surprised, Leo halted, waiting for Alex to continue speaking.
“I… I need to know something.” Leo watched Alex’s chest rise and fall more quickly. The boy was uneasy. “When I saw you at the club, you’d just finished a scene with a… a sub.” Leo nodded. “What struck me was the… you both seemed so… I just meant to ask….” Alex broke off, clearly flustered, and breathed in deeply. “When you do scenes with subs, do you fuck them?”
Leo stared openmouthed. Whatever he’d been expecting, it hadn’t been this. Quickly, he thought back on the scene Alex had witnessed. Casey had volunteered to do the demonstration with him, and as Leo had worked with him before, he’d agreed. Leo tried to see the scene through Alex’s eyes. Leo gently bringing Casey back from subspace with soft strokes and touches, Casey lost on that plateau he’d reached, the intimacy of the moment…. Of course. Suddenly, Leo understood.
Alex was jealous.
Leo’s face broke into a tender smile. “Alex, not all Doms have penetrative sex in a scene,” he explained. “Some do, certainly, especially if the Dom has a special bond with the sub. And yes, sex is the norm, and there is a lot of it, I suppose. Especially oral sex. But….” His voice faltered, and Leo saw Alex regard him more closely. “I haven’t fucked a sub in a scene since… in fact, I haven’t fucked….” Leo couldn’t bring himself to say the words.
Alex’s eyes were so wide. “You haven’t had sex since Gabe died, have you?”
Leo started, shocked to hear his dead lover’s name from Alex’s lips. But of course Alex knew about Gabe. The boys at Severino’s were bound to have said something. Well, maybe it was about time Alex heard it from Leo’s own lips.
“Gabe was my sub, as well as my lover. We were together six years. And yes, it’s true. There’s been no one since he died over two years ago. I couldn’t bring myself to….” Leo shook himself. He hardly dared breathe as Alex shifted on the sofa, edging closer and placing his hand on Leo’s knee. Distracting though that was, Leo knew he had to continue. “I simply threw myself into the running of the club. I couldn’t take on another sub; it hurt too much. So, I do demonstrations, performances… but always in scenes where the focus is on demonstrating a technique and showing the interaction between Dom and sub, rather than actual sex.” Leo gave a short laugh. “And to be perfectly honest, there was no one who remotely interested me. No one who aroused me… until you.”
Leo stopped, his breath hitching. He hadn’t spoken of this for so long. He’d stopped listening to the demands of his body until he’d blocked them out entirely. Sex had narrowed down to a single act: masturbation. Until this lovely boy had wandered across a restaurant floor one evening in late June.
Alex put down his glass, rose from the sofa, and sank gracefully to his knees before Leo, his eyes fixed on Leo’s chest. He was the perfect picture of submission, heartbreakingly beautiful and yet seemingly so unaware of the picture he presented. For what seemed like the longest minute ever, Alex knelt there, as if contemplating his next move, until Leo could stand it no longer.
“Yes, boy?” Finally, Leo dared say the word, Alex’s whole demeanor demanding it. “Tell me. What do you want?”
Alex’s clear blue eyes flickered up briefly, cheeks flushed, breathing slightly more rapid. Alex spoke so quietly that Leo had to strain to hear him.
“Take me to bed.”