Fifteen
“FOR God’s sake, Thomas, just talk to him, will you? Things can’t go on like this for much longer!”
Thomas put his pen down on the desk with an exasperated sigh. He stared at Miles, his eyebrows raised. “What’s the matter now?”
Miles looked behind him to check no one was in the vicinity before entering the office and quietly closing the door behind him. He seated himself in the chair facing Thomas and leaned forward.
“He’s pissing people off, that’s what!” Miles frowned. “It’s been three weeks since Alex turned up here, and in that time, Leo has managed to upset virtually every person in the club.”
Thomas swiveled in his chair to stare at the bookcase next to his desk. A photo of Leo and himself, taken when they’d first opened the club, sat on the shelf. All those years ago.
He knew Miles spoke the truth. Leo’s behavior had become increasingly erratic during the last few weeks. He was short-tempered, and no matter what anyone did, it was never good enough. Those subs who had previously tried to catch his eye as he went about his business now shied away if they saw him coming. And Thomas had been ashamed to find himself walking in the opposite direction if he saw Leo approaching.
“Talking to him does no good whatsoever,” admitted Thomas. “If he won’t listen to me, what chance do the rest of you have?” He glanced at the photo once again. “The trouble is, logical reasoning won’t work here, because he’s not thinking clearly. It’s his heart, not his head, that’s causing all this.” His eyes met Miles’s. “I think he was starting to fall for Alex.”
Miles’s eyes widened. “It was getting that serious?”
Thomas nodded unhappily.
“Then no wonder he’s gone off the rails. It’s Gabe, all over again.”
Suddenly, Thomas sat bolt upright. “No, it isn’t,” he declared. “Gabe’s gone, but Alex is still very much alive. Leo can still win him back. It’s just, right now, he’s given up. He’s convinced himself it’s over.” He gazed earnestly at Miles. “But it doesn’t have to be like that. And we’re going to help him see that.” He grimaced. “We have to, because the alternatives aren’t worth thinking about. So we need to get thinking creatively.”
The two men sat in silence for several minutes, lost in thought. Thomas found himself thinking of how Alex must have viewed the club that night, walking into it blind. Wait a moment….
Thomas leaned back in his chair. “Is Pietro in tonight?”
Miles nodded. “Yeah, I was just about to take him home, as a matter of fact.”
“Bring him in here, will you? I’ve got a little job for him.” Miles gave another brief nod and went off in search of Pietro. Thomas picked up his pen and began to tap out a beat against his coffee mug, but his eyes remained fixed on the photo. I’m not giving up on you yet, Leo Hart.
He heard Pietro’s soft knock against the door as his head appeared around it. “Master Thomas? You wanted to see me?”
Thomas nodded, beckoning the sub into the room and pointing to the empty chair in front of his desk. Pietro seated himself, looking more than a little nervous.
“Relax, boy, you’re not in trouble,” Thomas said, chuckling. Pietro exhaled shakily, sinking back farther into the chair. “Now, answer me truthfully. How is Alex?”
Pietro’s face fell. “Truthfully, Sir?” Thomas nodded, eyebrow cocked. “Sir, he’s fucking miserable. He doesn’t speak to anyone any more. During his breaks, he takes his lunch or drink and goes to sit in the small yard at the back of the restaurant.” Pietro stared glumly at Thomas. “He won’t even talk to me, and I thought I was his best friend.” Pietro gazed down at the floor.
“Well, I don’t have to tell you how Master Leo is, do I?” Thomas asked, grimacing. Pietro shook his head vigorously. “Right. In that case, it’s up to us to do something to sort out this mess.”
Pietro frowned. “Us, Sir? I’m not sure if there’s anything we can do.”
Thomas winked. “I have a cunning plan. But it requires you, boy. Think you can help me?”
Pietro bounced briefly on the chair. “Anything, Sir. I’ll do anything I can.” He smiled, an eager expression on his face.
Thomas smiled. “Good boy. So, here’s the plan….”
“WHAT’S this about, Thomas? I don’t remember organizing a meeting for this afternoon.” Leo stormed into the office, clutching the memo he’d found in his pigeonhole. Thomas was standing by the window, looking down onto the street below. There were always lots of people around the club, placed as it was in the Gay Village. Though Leo hadn’t liked the series Queer as Folk, he had to admit it had placed Manchester on the map for gay tourists, especially when it came around to Mardi Gras, Manchester’s own Pride event.
Thomas turned to face him. “Leo, put your stuff together. You’re taking some time off.”
Leo gaped at him incredulously. “What are you talking about?” He barked out a laugh. “I’m not due any time off.”
Thomas regarded him almost sadly. “No, you’re not, lad. But you need to take some time to work out what you want to do. Because, let’s be honest here, right now you’re neither use nor ornament. You barge around here like a bear with a sore head, you put people’s backs up… you’ve got subs that once adored you hiding if they see you coming.” He shook his head. “Fuck, Leo, you haven’t got a good word to say for anyone.”
Leo opened his mouth to dispute Thomas’s words… and then stopped. Had he really been that bad?
Thomas’s eyes were fixed on Leo’s face. “Leo, this can’t go on. You need to fix this, or move on.”
Leo suddenly found it difficult to breathe. “Move on…?”
Thomas nodded. “Move on… as in, move on from Alex, or as in, decide if you still want to run this club with me. Because I have to say, right now? I can’t work with someone who won’t even listen to me.” His green eyes met Leo’s horrified gaze. “Yes, Leo, it’s gotten that bad. So do us all a favor and go home. Think about it. If it helps you decide at all, I don’t want to lose you as a business partner—or a friend.” He moved to the office door, pausing as he passed Leo. Thomas placed a warm hand on his shoulder. “And, Leo? Don’t give up on Alex. If you want him, go fight for him.” He squeezed his shoulder and then released him, exiting the room and pulling the door shut behind him.
Leo dropped into the empty chair facing the desk, his head in his hands. What a fucking mess.
There hadn’t been a single day in the last three weeks Leo hadn’t woken up in the morning without remembering that awful night. He could still see Alex’s expression of shock, and then worse, the look that spoke of utter betrayal. Looking back, Leo knew his reasons for not wanting to share the lifestyle with the boy, but they seemed petty now in the face of Alex’s abrupt departure from his life. He’d wanted to develop their relationship first, but now it looked as though they were finished before they’d even started. He’d sent texts, left voice mail messages… no reply.
Leo let out a sound of sheer frustration. He missed Alex. He wanted his boy back. But he had to face facts: he might have lost Alex for good.
ALEX collected his jacket from the staff room, dragging his feet. It had been a long Saturday. Thank goodness he had Sunday off. His heart sank a little at the thought of spending his day off at home, though. Since the night after he’d returned from the club, Rob had been unbearable. It had soon become obvious to his parents and to Rob that all was not well between him and Leo, and then the comments had started. His mother kept dropping subtle hints that maybe he’d merely been going through a phase. A phase, for fuck’s sake. Alex had come that close to telling her what she could do with her “phase.” Rob wasn’t so subtle. He kept making small digs at Alex, taunting him about Leo, about them being finished. And he never let up. All the fucking time.
Alex put on his jacket, pulling it tight around him as he left the restaurant, not waiting for the others. He knew he’d become an antisocial bastard during the last three weeks, but he couldn’t bear the thought of getting into a conversation with someone only to have them ask about Leo. Leo…. Alex’s heart sank. He missed the man. He’d told himself it was just sex, that was all. But as the days after that hideous Thursday night grew into weeks, the pain inside him didn’t lessen. He found himself waking up in the early hours, reaching for Leo, seeking the warmth of those strong arms, only to find himself alone. He missed their conversations. He missed that fantastic feeling he’d get when he knew he was going to see Leo, the anticipation of being held, listened to… accepted. Fuck… he missed him so much.
“Alex, wait for me!”
Alex groaned as Pietro’s voice reached him. Pietro was the last person he wanted to see. He’d avoided the chef at work by making himself really busy and finding things to do that kept him out of Pietro’s way. A chill breeze whipped up, and he pulled his jacket tighter. October had come in with fresh, chill winds, and the night air was even colder. He heard Pietro’s hurried footsteps behind him, growing nearer. There was obviously no getting away from this.
Alex came to a halt, waiting for Pietro to catch up with him. “What do you want?” He shivered in the night air. “It’s late.”
“I know, I know, but I need to talk to you,” Pietro replied breathlessly. “It’s really important.”
Alex frowned. “Couldn’t it wait until Monday?”
Pietro shook his head. “Look, come back to my flat,” he suggested. “I only live just around the corner near the river. Please.” His eyes were begging. “I have green tea.” His face wore a hopeful expression.
Alex had to laugh at that. Maybe a cup of tea with Pietro was better than going home to face his family, all things considered. He nodded, feeling pleased he’d agreed when he saw the look of relief that crossed Pietro’s face.
“Okay, let’s get out of the cold.”
Pietro led the way through the darkened streets down to where apartment blocks had been built along the banks of the river Irwell, which snaked its way through the city center. By the time they reached Pietro’s flat, Alex was thoroughly chilled. Pietro let them in, taking Alex’s jacket, and Alex was thankful to be inside in the warmth. Pietro went into his small kitchen to put the kettle on while Alex walked across the tidy, compact lounge to the large window overlooking the river. It wasn’t exactly a picturesque view. They were in the heart of the city, and the horizon was hidden from view by numerous tall buildings and apartment blocks.
He sniffed the air appreciatively, detecting the aroma of green tea and jasmine as Pietro came into the lounge bearing two mugs.
“I didn’t know you drank this too,” he said, gratefully taking a mug from Pietro. Alex looked around the room. Pietro had definitely gone for a minimalist look. There was a large, squashy leather sofa, which looked supremely comfortable, a couple of beanbags on the floor, a low coffee table, and a TV mounted on the wall. Small chrome speakers hinted at a music system hidden from view somewhere. Alex plopped onto the sofa, nestling back into its comfortable seat cushions with a sigh. He was dog-tired.
Pietro grabbed a beanbag and sat at Alex’s feet, sipping his tea. There was a moment of awkward silence.
“Okay, you’ve got me here. What was so important that it couldn’t wait until Monday?”
Pietro looked distinctly nervous all of a sudden. “There’s something I need to share with you first,” he began. He gulped.
Alex was intrigued. Pietro pulled his wallet from his jeans pocket and removed a laminated card. He held it for a second, clearly reluctant to show Alex. Pietro swallowed. “You may not like this, but… oh, fuck it!” He handed the card to Alex.
Alex looked down at what was obviously a membership card of….
“Collars & Cuffs,” he read in a whisper. His head snapped up sharply to stare at Pietro. Pietro nodded, his anxious eyes never leaving Alex’s face. “You’re a member of that….” His words trailed off. Another nod. “I can see why you might not have wanted to share this with me.” Alex stared at Pietro in frank astonishment.
Pietro nodded. “I’m a submissive,” he said simply. He paused, his eyes still on Alex. Alex nodded for him to continue, speechless. “I initially went to the club after my first real relationship hit a rocky patch. I wanted my boyfriend to… to tie me up when we had sex. He didn’t want to do that. I mean, really didn’t. But he suggested this club he knew of, said I might find what I was looking for there.” Pietro smiled. “And boy, did I.”
Alex was amazed. “You like being whipped? Beaten? You like pain?” He didn’t know what to think. He couldn’t equate his friend with the BDSM videos he’d watched or the men he’d seen at the club.
Pietro’s cheeks were suddenly flushed. “It’s not all like that!” he insisted hotly. “Forget what you’ve seen on the Internet.” He gave Alex a keen glance. “I’m right, aren’t I? You’ve been watching stuff on the net?” Alex nodded. “Okay, then put all that aside for the moment. It’s not all about pain. Not all Doms are into inflicting pain, all right? And not all subs are into being on the receiving end, either.” He smirked. “Well, unless your name’s Dorian.” He snorted. Alex gave him a puzzled look. “Sorry, it’s just that there’s this one sub, Dorian, who’s a real pain slut.”
Alex bit back a smile. It certainly conjured up an image of this Dorian.
Pietro was gazing at him earnestly. “What’s important for me isn’t the pain. ’Cause sometimes? There is no pain. For me, it’s about… yielding control. Giving total control of my body, my emotions, to another. When I submit to Miles—when I serve him, please him, accept that he has control over me—that’s when I’m truly happy.” He laughed, shaking his head. “It’s hard to explain.”
Alex was spellbound. Something in Pietro’s quietly spoken words touched a core deep within him. He recognized his own reactions when he’d sucked Leo off, reveling in Leo’s pleasure rather than his own. He remembered Leo’s obvious delight when Alex followed instructions, and his feelings of joy that he’d pleased Leo. He also recognized immediately how relieved he was when Leo made decisions for him, taking choice out of Alex’s hands—in effect, handing control over to Leo. Alex stared at Pietro, eyes wide. “Am I a submissive?” he whispered.
Pietro smiled. “Only you can answer that, babe. But, based on the evidence so far, I’d guess yes, probably.” He grabbed Alex’s hand. “Which brings me to why I asked you here. I want you to come with me to the club tomorrow night. Let me show you what really goes on, but seen through the eyes of someone who knows about this.” He waited, his gaze fixed on Alex.
Alex shuddered. The thought of seeing Leo again in that place….
Pietro tightened his grip around Alex’s hand. “I should mention at this point…. Master Leo won’t be there.”
Alex arched his brows. “Master Leo?”
Pietro blushed. “Leo is one of the best Doms there is.” He paused, his expression sobering instantly. “Well, he was, up until a few weeks ago.”
Suddenly, it hit Alex that Pietro would have seen Leo recently. “How… how is he?” he asked, his chest tightening.
Pietro didn’t look away. “A mess,” he replied simply.
Alex felt his heart sink. That made two of them, then. “He sent me texts, you know. I ignored them. And his voice mails.” He went quiet for a moment. “I still can’t believe he kept all this from me.”
Pietro snorted. “I can.” Alex looked at him in surprise. “Ask yourself a question, Alex. If he’d told you right off what he was into, would you have stuck around? Or would you have run?” He speared Alex with his frank gaze.
Alex considered this. There was no doubt in his mind: he’d have run.
Pietro nodded, clearly reading his expression. “So maybe he wanted to work on your relationship first, get to know you, see if you two had chemistry going for you. Then I think he would have introduced you to the idea bit by bit, say, maybe with a little bondage in bed?” Alex blushed, and Pietro chuckled. “I’m not talking handcuffs here. Maybe tie you up with silk scarves, or even his ties.” Pietro shook his head. “I don’t think for one minute Leo would’ve hidden his lifestyle from you for long, once you’d gotten closer.”
Alex began to get a sinking feeling perhaps he’d overreacted—big time.
Pietro was watching him expectantly. “So how about it? Would you come with me tomorrow night to the club? You could go as my guest.” His expression was so earnest, Alex felt it only fair to do as he suggested. Besides, he wanted to see inside the club again. Finally, he nodded, and Pietro’s wide smile made him feel better about his decision.
“Listen, if you don’t want to go home tonight, there’s space right here on the sofa.”
Alex was touched. It was a very tempting thought. “You’re not expecting Miles tonight, are you?” he asked anxiously.
Pietro chuckled. “Nah, he’s staying at home tonight. We don’t see each other every night, but it works for us.” He looked expectantly at Alex. “Well?”
Alex nodded. “I’ll let Mum know with a text. Thanks, Pietro.”
Pietro got up from his beanbag and headed for the bedroom. “I’ll fetch some pillows and sheets for you. This sofa is really comfy, so you’ll sleep okay.”
Alex rested his head back against the sofa. His thoughts were suddenly of Leo, wondering what he was doing right now. For the first time since he’d fled the club, Alex felt pangs of guilt. He could have answered his texts. And then he thought about tonight’s revelation. Was he a submissive? And if so, did he really want to explore all that being a submissive might entail? And finally… did he want to carry out his explorations with Leo at his side?