Twenty-Two
ALEX awoke with a sore ass and a huge fucking grin on his face.
He fingered the collar still fastened around his neck. Leo had been about to remove it, but Alex had begged to be allowed to sleep wearing it. Leo had chuckled at that, murmuring something about Alex being a “big kid” under his breath, but Alex didn’t give a shit. It had been such a powerful experience for him, sleeping next to his Dom while wearing his collar.
“Good morning, boy.” Alex sighed as Leo leaned over to kiss him, drinking in the aroma of a bed-warmed Leo, fresh from sleep, and the smell of leather around his neck. Leo ran his fingers along the edge of the collar. “Ready for this to come off yet?” There was a distinctly amused twinkle in his eyes. Alex made his eyes as big and round as he possibly could, the slight whimper barely audible, and Leo burst out laughing. “So, going for puppy eyes, are we?”
Alex let out a joyful laugh. God, he felt so good this morning!
“Ready for your reward, boy?”
Alex gazed at Leo in surprise, not understanding at first.
Leo smiled. “You obeyed me, boy,” he said softly. “You accepted my domination, and I wasn’t taking it easy on you, even though it was our first scene. And….” He paused, lifting Alex’s chin with two fingers. “Look at me, boy.” The words were uttered so quietly, but Alex felt the power behind them. He locked eyes with his Dom. Leo’s eyes burned with emotion. “You pleased me, boy. So very much.”
Alex felt as though his heart would burst with pride. Nothing they had done together prior to this moment compared to the thrill that coursed through him as he heard those soft-spoken words. “What is my reward, Sir?” Alex lowered his eyes.
Leo chuckled. “You may choose something you’d really like to do from your list, or”—Leo grinned—“you can ask me to do something for you.”
Oh, that was easy.
“Would you suck my cock, Sir?” Alex asked shyly, unsure how his suggestion would be received. When he saw Leo break into a wicked smile, he had his answer. Fuck, yeah!
“I REALLY think it’s time, boy.” Leo’s gaze alighted on the collar, and Alex let out a heavy sigh. He would have been happy to wear it for the rest of his time in Leo’s apartment, but they’d agreed it was a signal. He’d only worn it for such a short period of time, and yet it felt like part of him, felt as if it belonged around his neck.
Leo picked up a thin chain with a small key attached to it from the bedside table. Alex sighed as the collar was unlocked, taken from around his neck, and placed on the table.
Leo chuckled. “It won’t be long, Alex, until you’re wearing it again.”
Alex made a decision. “Sir…,” he began, but Leo stopped him, a single finger placed against his lips.
“We’re not in a scene now,” he said.
Alex smiled. “That was actually what I wanted to say,” he said quietly. “When it’s just us, here in your apartment, would it be all right if I still called you Sir?” He blushed. “It… it just feels right. And similarly, would you… would you call me your boy?” His eyes were fixed on Leo’s chest. That was one thing that wouldn’t change, regardless of being in a scene or not: making eye contact was still anathema to him. He waited nervously for Leo’s response.
Leo pulled him close, his arms tight around him and his mouth pressed against Alex’s ear. “I’d like that,” he whispered. “I’d like that very much.”
And in that one glorious instant, Alex felt as if he’d finally found his rightful path.
1 November, 2012
Diary of a Submissive
Dear Diary
BDSM-A journey
Okay, this is a dumb idea. Not even sure why Leo wants me to do this. He even gave me this diary, complete with lock, like I was some teenage girl, writing down my innermost thoughts. LOL. I’m supposed to keep it with me, even at work, so if something occurs to me, I can jot it down. Fair enough, I suppose…. And he’s said only I get to see what’s in it. He won’t be reading it, and I’m to be completely honest. I can live with that.
Okay, so, about the other night…. What can I say? What did I think of Leo putting a collar on me, tying my hands behind my back, and fucking me…? Oh fucking hell—yes!
It was everything I’d hoped it would be—and more. Fuck, calling him Sir—that was so hot! Couldn’t get over how right it felt. And it’s still only just sinking in. I’ve got a Dom. I’ve got a fucking Dom! Seeing Leo for the first time like that, hearing the way he spoke to me… it was all such a turn on. But the way he made me feel inside… like it was just totally natural to call him Sir, to do whatever he said…. God, just thinking about it gets me so fucking hot….
’Scuse me, diary… gotta take care of a pressing problem in my jeans right now.
Same day—later.
What? At least I didn’t come over your nice, clean pages, right? LOL.
So yeah—so far? Fuck yeah! Still can’t believe Leo made me come like that—I mean, one thrust of his cock inside me, and I’m coming? I told him after, I’d felt like I’d let him down, not being able to stop myself from coming so fucking fast… but Leo stopped me. He said I had no idea how much that turned him on, and that he’d never had anyone make him come so fast before. Wow….
About this whole diary idea…. Leo says he had to do the same thing when he was a sub—except he was a sub for all of three weeks! LOL. And he was my age—I mean, exactly my age, twenty-two! Said he knew he was into domination and someone recommended a BDSM club in Manchester, so he went along, walked right in, and asked the first Dom he laid eyes on if he could train him to be a Dom. Turns out that Dom was Thomas. Would’ve loved to have heard that conversation! Anyway, Thomas made Leo sub for him, so he could experience it all from the submissive’s perspective—said it would make him a better Dom. Leo says the hardest thing was giving up control—not something I have the slightest problem with….
4 November.
Oh fuck. He tied me to the bed. With the cord from his bathrobe. And then fucked the shit out of me. The man was a fucking machine! I mean, it felt like he was inside me for hours. Okay, so it was nowhere near that long—it just felt like it. But didn’t my ass know it this morning….
Bit worried about one thing, though. He says he wants to train me to come when he says. I mean, really? Come on command? Is that even possible? Not sure I could hold off from coming… especially if he has that wicked mouth on my cock. The man can deep throat for England! Oh hell, yeah… just thinking about it…. Fuck, I’m so hard right now, a cat couldn’t scratch it.
Sorry, Diary…. Yeah, again. I might be a while….
9 November
Oh, Diary… tonight was just… perfect. No bondage. No toys. Instead…. Leo took me to dinner.
It was an actual date. We went to this quiet little restaurant on the far side of the city center, where the food was fantastic. But that’s not what made it perfect.
We talked. For hours. God, we must have talked about everything. We even talked about Gabe, and he seemed okay with that. Actually, it was a relief to be able to mention him. Leo told me funny stories about the two of them starting out together. Seems Gabe was a rebellious little shit at times! LOL. Anyway, after our gorgeous meal, we went back to his place and he took me to bed. No collar. And… it felt different. Slower, sexier…. Fuck, he had me on the brink of coming so many times, and then he’d back off. Never been edged before, and it was the hottest thing ever. But when he was inside me, he was kissing me the whole time, and God, his kisses….
I didn’t want it to end. And when I came…. OMG.
He wasn’t fucking me. This was something more… intimate. And I fucking loved it.
11 November
OMG… guess who just got his ass spanked?
Wasn’t a punishment. I’d gotten undressed, ready for Leo, and I was kneeling down in the middle of the lounge floor, getting my head straight… when Leo sat down on the sofa and asked me to stretch out, facedown, over his lap. Gotta say… once he said that, and I knew what was coming… my cock was so hard!
So there I was, over his lap, my stiff cock poking down through his thighs, and he started spanking me, right on the fleshiest part. The first time his hand connected with my ass, it was as if electricity shot through me—and he made me count out loud each time he spanked me. Why should him spanking my ass go straight to my cock? All I know is that he didn’t let up, he just kept on spanking me, and before I knew it, I was coming all down his legs, crying out….
Okay, so using spanking as a punishment? Is so not gonna work!
13 November.
Well, that was a new experience. I just had a medical check-up… as part of my club application! LOL. Apparently everyone has this. Got sent an appointment to go to this clinic—really nice place, btw—and was given a thorough going over by the doc. Clean as a whistle—yay! Just waiting for blood test results, and I’m all done!
Later—night.
I will not scream.
I will not yell.
I will keep telling myself that it won’t be long now until I’m outta here.
God… please tell me I’m adopted. I’m begging you. ’Cause I can’t really be related to that little fuck….
14 November
I needed him tonight. Told him I needed him to make me forget, to just take it all away. And boy… did he….
So he got out these Velcro straps and tied me to the bed. And then…. He started kissing me. That’s it—just kissing. ’Cept it just kept getting hotter. He never even touched my cock, just kept kissing me, sliding his tongue inside, fucking my mouth with it… those kisses went on and on ’til I was shaking, trembling, desperate to come. There were the most amazing noises filling that room, really fucking sexy noises, the sexiest porno soundtrack ever… and it was me making them.
Leo made me come—just by kissing me.
It still makes me shiver.
And then he made me walk into the lounge, come still on my belly, and pressed me against that huge window, my hands flat on the glass. He put his cock against my hole and just shoved that fucker into me, placing his hands over mine.
OMFG…. So there I was, face and chest up against the glass, hands held prisoner by his, ass tilted… and he plowed into me over and over, until I was screaming out “Sir” every few seconds. I was his—totally, utterly his. My body was his to do with as he liked. I gave everything up to him.
Only thing was… it was on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to call him “Master.”
20 November.
I need to write this down, before I forget…. Yeah, like I could ever forget tonight.
What did I learn tonight? Wow… where do I start?
Leo’s been talking about us going to the club. My membership’s come through, and he wants to take me and “show me off”—his words. So he’s been training me… how he’ll expect me to behave once we’re in there. And that’s the weirdest part. ’Cause surely that should feel strange, right? This man is basically telling me how to walk, stand, kneel, sit… he’s telling me he’s going to control everything about me—and that he has the right to do whatever he wants to me.
Well, tonight, there was this one moment…. When I reread some of the stuff I’ve written in here, I realize there’s been a lot of sex. Like…. A lot. And yeah, it’s been fantastic. But tonight, Leo made me put my hands above my head on the pillow while he fingered me, and I wasn’t allowed to move them. Thing was, I didn’t want to move them—I wanted to please Leo. His fingers felt great in my ass—LOL, they always do—but it was different. I forgot about the pleasure he was giving me, and I focused on giving him pleasure instead. And when he was fucking me, I was conscious for the first time of being there for his pleasure, not mine… and that sent chills through me. It wasn’t about me—it was about him.
I was there for Leo. If he’d wanted to fist me in that moment, I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid. I’d have just taken his hand. If he’d stopped midfuck and told me he wanted to strap up my cock so I couldn’t come, that would have been fine. Shit, he could have done anything….
Okay, so I’m only just scratching the surface of submission as I see it, and I know I’ve got a long way to go, but tonight it all came down to one realization.
My body is his to do with as he wishes. He can whip me, slap me, spank me, tie me up—whatever he wants—and I’ll take it, because it pleases him. Oh fuck, I really want to please him, diary.
26 November
Oh. Fuck. Gotta write this down. ’Cause this is fucking huge. How could I not have seen…?
Okay, so I’m meeting Pietro for one of our regular before-work coffeefests. We’re chatting away, shooting the breeze about loads of different stuff—work, the club (think I’m finally going to go there with Leo real soon!), sex—like that surprises you, diary!—and then Pietro starts talking about Miles. Seems Miles wants to collar Pietro.
Now, I got confused. I mean, doesn’t Pietro already have a collar? So when I ask him about this, he blushes and tells me this is a different kind of collar, a more permanent one. Then it turns out there’s a ceremony that goes with getting this collar. As far as I can see, this ceremony is like the BDSM equivalent of getting married. It’s that big of a deal—well, it certainly seems that way for Pietro and Miles. Come to think of it… yeah, Tobias and Noah! Deviations Book 3!
So Pietro’s talking about the ceremony and his Master. Something crossed my mind, and I asked him when Miles went from being “Sir” to “Master” in Pietro’s mind. His reply was when he realized Miles was the most important person in his life. He was talking about how he came to realize he was in love with Miles, and how fucking wonderful he felt when Miles told him he felt the same way. There was this absolutely beautiful expression on his face when he spoke about his feelings for Miles….
And that’s when it hit me.
I know exactly how he feels. I mean, exactly. ’Cause he’d just described how I feel about Leo….
Christ, diary… when exactly did I fall in love with my Dom?