Twenty-Seven
ALEX looked around at his new space. Leo had left him alone to sort out all the unpacking, which suited him just fine. The room was a good size, with plenty of drawer and wardrobe space for his clothing. There was even a desk under the window, although the view wasn’t as picturesque as the one from the lounge. The first thing Alex had done was try out the bed for firmness; it passed with flying colors. Although if Alex had his way, he’d never sleep in it.
Once the others left, leaving Alex lost in a sea of boxes, bags, and the general paraphernalia that went with any move, he’d finally had time to think, to analyze the situation in which he now found himself. And quite frankly, he didn’t know what to think. What was unsettling him most was this feeling of uncertainty. Where was this leading?
Of course, the simplest solution would be to actually talk to Leo. Yeah… like that was an easy option. Alex could just envisage that conversation taking place….
“Hey, Leo, can I ask… am I here ’cause you’re basically taking pity on me and getting me away from my parents? Or because you want me to move in with you as your lover? Oh yeah, and by the way…? I’m in love with you….”
Yeah, right….
There was a gentle knocking, and Leo popped his head around the bedroom door. “How does steak sound for dinner?”
Alex paused in the middle of placing his books into the small bookcase. Everything was virtually unpacked now, and Alex was flagging. And steak sounded wonderful. Right on cue, his stomach rumbled.
Leo chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes, shall I?”
Alex reddened. He glanced around at the room, which had at last taken on some semblance of order, and searched for the right words to convey even a small part of what he was feeling. Only to find his brain seemed to have seized up. “This is really good of you,” he said at last. He waited expectantly for Leo to say something, anything that would give him a clue as to what was going on in Leo’s mind right now.
Leo smiled. “I had the room; you needed it. End of story. Dinner in fifteen minutes, okay?” Alex nodded, and Leo withdrew.
Alex tried to push down his feelings of disappointment. After all, what could he expect? They’d only really been dating for just over five months, and even Alex had to admit, moving in together after that length of time was fast in anyone’s book, especially for a first relationship. That didn’t stop him from hoping, though.
So he had a room in a lovely apartment. Wi-Fi. Lots of space for all his stuff. His boyfriend just down the hall. And finally away from his little shit of a brother… and his mum. Yeah, he couldn’t complain. So why was his heart feeling so fucking heavy all of a sudden?
LEO sipped at his glass of red wine, noting, however, that Alex had barely touched his own.
“Is everything all right?” he inquired. Alex lifted his head and gave him a tired smile. Leo could have kicked himself. Of course the boy was tired. It had been an emotional roller coaster of a day, although Alex must have been ecstatic about the change in his relationship with Doug.
“Actually, I’m beat. Would you mind if I went to bed early?”
Leo nodded, and Alex got up, picking up his empty plate to take it into the kitchen, but Leo put out a hand to stop him. “I’ll take care of that. You go get settled, okay?”
Alex bent down and kissed Leo on the cheek before straightening and exiting the room.
Leo stared glumly at his wineglass. Not exactly what he’d envisioned for their first night sharing the apartment. What he really wanted was to take the boy to his bed, bury them both under the duvet, and fall asleep with him in his arms. So why didn’t you say something, idiot? The answer to that particular question was easy: Leo was scared. That familiar feeling of walking on eggshells was back. And Leo hated it. He longed for the easy rapport that had developed between the two of them during the last few months. No doubt it would return in time. After all, it was early days. But still, Leo’s stomach was in knots.
What it all came down to was this: there was no way Leo would place Alex under any pressure. He didn’t want gratitude. He wanted—no, he craved—Alex’s love. And hoped to God one day he’d have it.
EMMYBABE: So tell me again, why exactly are you not in bed with him right now?
MaybeGay: Not really sure.
EmmyBabe: Do you want to be?
MaybeGay: Fuck, yeah! But….
EmmyBabe: But…?
MaybeGay: There’s no way I’m gonna ask. “Hey, Leo, can I sleep with you tonight? Oh, and every other night, while we’re at it?” LOL
EmmyBabe: What are you scared of? He asked you to move in, didn’t he?
MaybeGay: Yeah, but….
EmmyBabe: There’s that little word again.
MaybeGay: LOL. Maybe… maybe it’s too soon.
EmmyBabe: Well, if you never ask, you’ll never know. Just think, he could be lying there right now, desperate for you to walk through his bedroom door and climb into his bed.
Maybe Gay: *So* not gonna happen, Em!
EmmyBabe: LOL. A girl can dream, can’t she?
MaybeGay: Suppose so. Oh, I don’t know! *bangs head on keyboard repeatedly*
EmmyBabe: Alex? Babe?
MaybeGay: What?
EmmyBabe: One day at a time, sweet cheeks. One day at a time.
ALEX lay on his side in his bed, curled up tight, hugging a pillow. Sleep was eluding him. At several points during the past few hours, he’d contemplated slipping quietly into Leo’s room and climbing into bed with him, only to reject the idea almost immediately.
If he’d wanted me in his bed, wouldn’t he have said something? Alex was trying not to listen to the voice in his head right now. But he couldn’t help but wonder….
LEO paused outside Alex’s door, hand poised to turn the handle, and then he pulled back at the last minute. It just seemed so wrong, his boy alone in one room, Leo in another.
Why don’t you just go in there, for Christ’s sake?
Because it has to be something we both want, he reasoned with himself. And that closed door was surely a sign, wasn’t it? With a heavy sigh, Leo silently padded back to his cold bed, climbed under the duvet, and stretched out an arm to touch the empty space beside him where Alex should’ve been. Where he needed Alex to be.
ALEX picked at the bowl of pasta in front of him. The staff room was empty, as he was the last to grab food before the late Sunday afternoon rush kicked in. Although, to be honest, he barely tasted the food. His mind was definitely elsewhere.
“Thank God, I’ve got you to myself for a minute.”
Alex looked up from his virtually untouched lunch. Pietro was gazing at him intently. Oh fuck. There was no escape.
“So, you wanna tell me where your head has been all day?” Pietro wasn’t smiling. If anything, he looked concerned.
Alex let out a sigh. Yep, there was definitely no getting away from this conversation.
Pietro’s voice softened. “Alex, you just moved in with your Dom, your lover. Why aren’t you on cloud nine? And come to think of it, why aren’t you at least walking funny? ’Cause if it were me, Miles would’ve nailed me to the bed all fucking night long.”
Alex met his gaze. “Well, that would have been a bit difficult, seeing as we slept in separate rooms last night.”
Pietro slipped into the empty chair beside Alex. “What happened, babe?”
Another sigh slipped from between Alex’s lips, and then he told Pietro everything that had been going through his mind, including how Leo had worded his proposal.
Pietro’s mouth tightened. “That’s what he said? Gee, I’m really feeling the love… not!” Alex shrugged. “No, I mean it, Alex. The man may be a kick-ass Dom, but it seems to me he needs a good talking to.”
Alex lifted his brows, smirking. “And are you gonna say anything?”
Pietro snorted. “No thanks. I like my balls where they are, thank you. But someone needs to give him a good ass-kicking, that’s for sure.”
Alex got up, picking up his uneaten food. “Yeah, well, it won’t be me. Gotta stay on the good side of my landlord.” He gave a slightly bitter smile.
Pietro got to his feet, put his arms around Alex, and hugged him closely. “It’ll get better, hon, really. You just gotta give him time, yeah?” He spoke quietly into Alex’s ear. “Must be a big step for him too. I mean, you’re the first—”
“Yeah, since Gabe. I know.” Alex took in a deep breath and straightened, breaking away from Pietro. He smiled bravely. “Anyway, back to work before Sev decides to fire me.” He winked, and Pietro finally smiled back at him.
“All right, babe, message received. You go work.” Pietro patted his arm.
Alex gave him a grateful smile before leaving the staff room and making his way down to the kitchen. Actually, work was exactly what he needed right now. Anything to take his mind off his present situation. Alex couldn’t cope with all this angst. It just messed with his head.
“OKAY, what’s so important it can’t wait ’til our meeting tomorrow?”
Thomas was seated at his desk, seemingly deep in thought. He looked up as Leo entered the room. “Come in and close the door, lad.”
Leo arched his eyebrows but did as instructed. He seated himself in the empty chair facing Thomas and folded his arms. “Okay, what gives? And lad? Again?” He smirked.
Thomas regarded him for a moment in silence. “Tell me, how did the move go yesterday?”
Leo stared at him. Suddenly he was getting a bad feeling. “You’re… you’re not just asking this for the sake of being polite, are you?” Thomas shook his head. Leo sighed. “Okay, out with it…. What do you know?”
“Pietro called me. Your boy is not a happy bunny, Leo. Want to tell me exactly how you asked him to move in with you?”
Leo racked his brains for a moment. “I asked him if he wanted to move in with me. Told him I had a spare room, lots of space.”
“But you didn’t really mention bills, did you?” Thomas stared at him.
Leo stopped for a moment. “I… I may have mentioned that at some point we’d talk about food and bills, yeah,” he replied slowly. “Why?”
“Why?” Thomas’s tone was incredulous. “Leo, you just asked your young lover to move in with you. How do you think he felt when you did that? I mean, we’re talking a big commitment here, right? And then you go and mention bills. What are you, his lover or his landlord?”
Leo stared at Thomas, aghast. “I… I didn’t want to put any pressure on him. I thought if I kept it practical, he’d be less inclined to think he owed me or something.”
Thomas shook his head. “For an intelligent man, you can be so blind sometimes.” He speared Leo with his gaze. “You’re in love with him.” Leo swallowed. Thomas’s expression softened. “Leo, you’re in love with him. I know it. Hell, anyone who knows you, knows it. But you need to let Alex know. You can’t expect him to say anything. The boy is a natural submissive, for God’s sake! He’d no sooner ask you how you felt than… than walk under a bus. He needs to know he’s under your roof because you’re in love with him and you want to share your life with him.” He paused. “And, for future reference, that’s how you should’ve asked him in the first place.”
Leo let out a groan. “I’ve really fucked this up, haven’t I?”
Thomas’s smile was almost paternal. “Yes,” he replied. Leo raised his brows, and Thomas gazed back at him, an innocent expression on his face. “What? You’d expect me to be honest with you, wouldn’t you? But this is still fixable.” He locked eyes with Leo. “So go home and fix it.”
Leo got up. “I think… I think I might take the rest of the evening off, if you don’t mind.”
Thomas grinned. “I don’t want to see you here again for at least two days. Is that understood?”
Leo returned his grin. “Yes, boss.”
Thomas laughed and waved a hand at him to leave. Leo exited the office, already planning how to make this up to his boy, and what exactly he was going to say to him.
“THANKS for the lift, Miles,” Alex said as he clambered out of the back of the little car.
Miles rolled down the window. Beside him, Pietro leaned across to speak. “Now get in there and spend some time with that man of yours,” he said.
Alex tried to return Pietro’s smile, but he was suddenly feeling apprehensive. Miles must have noticed something, because he reached out and grabbed Alex’s hand. Alex tensed, but relaxed when he caught sight of Miles’s expression.
“It’ll be ok, pup.” Miles smiled reassuringly at him. “Besides, Leo is bound to be in a good mood. Thomas has given him two days off work.” He grinned once more. “Have a good time.” Despite the darkness, Alex could see the wicked gleam in Miles’s eyes.
He watched the car as it pulled away, Pietro waving at him through the rear window, before going toward the main door of the apartment block. Once inside the elevator, he leaned back against the mirror, closing his eyes for a second or two. What exactly was he coming home to? He glanced at his watch; it was already 10:00 p.m.
The lift came to a stop, and he got out, searching for his key. Before he could insert the key into the lock, however, the door opened and Leo was standing there, dressed casually in a white shirt, open at the neck, and tight, well-worn jeans. His feet were bare.
“Thought I heard the lift,” Leo said. Alex’s heart almost skipped a beat; the man looked positively edible. Leo led him into the apartment… where Alex stopped dead, gazing around him with wide eyes. There were candles everywhere: tea lights in small colored vases; long, slim candles in elegant holders; a bronze glass flower on the coffee table that contained one small fragrant candle, its flame reflected in the metallic surface.
Alex detected the aroma of jasmine. Looking around the room in amazement, he finally brought his gaze back to Leo, who was standing beside him, smiling.
“Welcome home, boy,” he said softly. Silently, he helped Alex out of his jacket and led him to the sofa. “You must be tired. You’ve been on your feet all day. Come and sit down.”
And before he could utter a word in greeting or ask for an explanation for the lounge’s unusual appearance, Alex was insistently pushed down onto the sofa, whereupon Leo knelt before him and proceeded to unfasten and remove his shoes, followed by his socks. He sat on the sofa next to Alex and pulled his legs until Alex was seated at a right angle to him, his feet resting in Leo’s lap. Leo began to massage his feet, rubbing the arches and kneading them with nimble fingers. Oh hell, that felt so good! Alex’s head lolled back against the seat cushion as Leo began to expertly work away the day’s tension. He couldn’t help the little whimpers that escaped him.
“I take it that feels good?” Leo rubbed his thumbs in slow circles against the balls of his feet, kneading the flesh.
“How come I never knew you could do this?” Alex demanded, almost purring at the pleasurable sensations slowly being released throughout his body.
Leo chuckled. “Well, you know now,” replied Leo practically. “Keep your eyes closed, boy.”
Alex did as instructed, and caught his breath as he felt Leo’s hot, wet mouth close around his big toe. Oh fucking hell…. He let out a loud groan, unable to keep the sound inside, and then groaned even louder as Leo released his toe, moaning.
“Christ, boy, the sounds you make!”
Alex shuddered as that talented mouth returned once more to its task, sucking at his toes, licking between them, the sensation so erotic his cock begin to harden in response. Leo chuckled, his mouth full—that particular reaction obviously hadn’t gone unnoticed. Alex was pushed to lie back on the seat cushions, his leg raised as Leo continued to lick and suck at his toes, and he let out a long, shuddering breath as Leo cupped his crotch, rubbing at the growing bulge. Alex pushed his erection into Leo’s hand, lifting his hips from the sofa as he thrust upward, desperate for more contact.
Suddenly Leo released his toes with a heartfelt groan, and Alex found himself pressed into the sofa with Leo stretched out on top of him, his whole weight pushing him down, his erection rubbing insistently against Alex’s hip. Alex cried out softly as Leo took his mouth, the kiss hot and eager, Alex’s hunger overriding everything as he reached up to clutch at Leo’s back and pull him tight.
Leo groaned into his mouth, breaking the kiss. “Oh, fuck, boy…. God, you’re enough to make me lose my mind.” Leo stared into Alex’s eyes, pupils blown, panting. “This wasn’t how I planned it.”
Alex stared up at Leo’s eyes in breathless surprise. “Wait… what did you have planned?” Leo stilled above him so completely that Alex shivered in anticipation. Goose bumps broke out on his arms. Something was coming….
Leo caressed Alex’s face with such tenderness that Alex felt his heart stutter in his chest.
“Alex, I have to tell you….”
Alex’s heart was suddenly hammering.
“I should’ve told you sooner, I know, but….”
Alex’s heart was beating so loudly, he was positive Leo could hear it.
“Alex, I… I love you.”
Alex melted. That was the only way to describe it. Just… melted. He stared up at Leo, lips parted, eyes wide, so fucking happy he could scream. “I love you too.” Oh, the relief to finally be able to say the words.
Leo was suddenly alight. Slowly, he lowered his face to Alex, their lips meeting in the sweetest kiss Alex had ever known. There was no urgency, no heated frenzy. Instead, their lips pressed together, warm and soft, again and again, the kisses languid, gentle, as they rediscovered each other with dawning wonder.
At last Leo broke away, his eyes fixed on Alex’s face. “There’s something else I need to say here,” he said softly.
“Not sure if you can top that last statement,” Alex said with a shy smile.
Leo sat up, pulling Alex with him to straddle his lap, his hands coming to rest on Leo’s firm chest. Leo placed his hands on Alex’s hips and looked into his eyes. “I’d like to try something again, if I may.”
Alex gave him a puzzled look but nodded, smiling encouragingly. Leo took a deep breath, and Alex realized his lover was nervous.
“Alex Daniels, I’m in love with you. I want you in my life. In fact, I don’t want to spend another day without you. So I’m asking you to move in with me and share my life.” Leo tilted his head. “Does that sound like something you might want to do?”
Alex grinned. “Oh, I think I could be persuaded.” He shook his head, chuckling. “You’re nuts, do you know that?” He leaned close and kissed Leo. “I’m in love with you too,” he whispered. Leo moved his hands slowly up Alex’s spine, rubbing lovingly, until finally his hands reached Alex’s hair, where he stroked his fingers through the soft strands. Alex closed his eyes, losing himself in the sensuality of the moment. This was really happening. This was really fucking happening. Leo loves me!
“Alex?”
Alex opened his eyes to find Leo looking at him intently, his lips parted.
“I want to make love to you. Come to bed. Let me make love to you.”
Oh… making love. Alex liked how that sounded. He whispered his response almost instantaneously. “Oh, fuck, yes.” He locked eyes with Leo, unblinking. Now was not the time to look away. “Please, take me to bed. I… I want you, want you so much.”
Leo groaned, pulling Alex into a hungry kiss, Alex gasping as Leo’s erection made its presence known beneath him. And suddenly Alex didn’t want to wait another second. He groaned, the sound full of heat and want.
“Fuck, now, please!”