CHAPTER 29

LIAM

Asking Kate out was a surprise, even to me. In truth, I had never meant to. I honestly just wanted to go down to the signing and tell her how proud of her I was. That was it. I was going to shake her hand, maybe get a hug, and then leave her life for good.

But it didn't happen that way. The moment I saw her, I knew that it couldn't happen that way. She was just so damn beautiful, a tonic that I didn't even know I needed. When she looked up at me, she smiled, too. It was quick, so fast that if I had blinked, I would have missed it. But it was a smile, nonetheless. When I saw that, I knew that just saying hello and goodbye wasn't going to be enough.

So I asked her out. Even as I said the words, I couldn't believe it. I had no right to do it, after what I had done to her. But I also knew that if I didn't, then I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself.

So I did it under the guise of having something big to tell her. My news that I was leaving the hospital. But really, I just wanted to spend some time with her again, just one more time. Just one more night to rekindle the memories that we had so that when I did leave the country, it would be in peace.

As I made my way to the bar where we had agreed to meet, I couldn't believe how nervous I was. I was literally shaking with nerves. I felt like I was in high school again, going on my first ever date. What was I going to say? What would she say? Was this romantic or platonic?

My mind was totally focused on her. I didn't notice the crowd of New Yorkers, spilling out onto the street, ready for a Saturday night of drinking and partying. I didn't notice the chill in the air, despite the fact that I was wearing a button-down shirt and no jacket. I barely even noticed the bar as I walked into it and couldn't for the life of me remember sitting down.

When I texted her the time to meet and the location, she responded with a very curt, “sure.” I wasn't even sure if she would come. I wouldn't have been surprised if she didn't. It would have been exactly what I deserved. More than that even.

But then I spotted her. As she walked through the door, it was as if time slowed down. It was bizarre really. Tunnel vision kicked in, and I only had eyes for her. Her long brown hair seemed to glimmer in the candlelight of the bar. She wore a casual black tank top and jeans, but to me, it looked like a gown.

She smiled when she saw me, and my heart nearly burst. All the emotions I had spent so long pushing down and forgetting had come back to the forefront with that smile. Just like that, I was in love. Again.

"Hey," I said, trying to sound casual and in control as she sat down.

"Hey," she responded in the same tone. We were at a small table, and she pulled a seat out directly opposite me, so as to not be too close.

"So, you look good." I sighed openly the moment that I said it. It was just so pedestrian. What a stupid thing to say.

"Thanks, I guess," she responded, looking increasingly nervous. "So, that drink?"

"Right," I waved the server over and ordered our drinks. I was just happy to have a distraction. But once he was gone, we were alone again. An awkward silence fell between us. I looked at her, and she did everything she could to not look at me. For a moment there, I thought that we were about to have the shortest drink in history.

But it was as I looked at her, watching her, that I began to feel at ease. I don't know why or how, but the nervousness that had surrounded me, the panic that I had felt, suddenly evaporated as if it were never there in the first place. Maybe I had just had enough? Maybe I just needed to be reminded of who it was that I was with and that we weren't two strangers, but ex-lovers who were perfect for one another.

"This is dumb," I said. "Seriously. I'm going to start again, and we can forget about the last, let's say, three minutes. Deal?"

"Deal," she said, smiling at me for the first real time. The moment she did, I could feel the pressure fall from us as the tension lifted.

"So, tell me about this book." And she did just that.

Once she began to talk, the two of us fell into old patterns like it had been a day, not three months, since we had last seen each other. She told me all about the book and how she had come up with the idea. And I had to hand it to her. It was a great idea. I wasn't the least bit offended, and even a little touched, that she used me as inspiration, despite the odd circumstances.

I then told her about what I had been doing for the last three months. I made sure to keep it light and leave off the part about the heart ache and how tough it was for me. If she had felt the same as I had, she didn't reveal it, either.

We both entered into an unspoken agreement where we didn't mention what had happened. Instead, we focused on the present, and that made all the difference.

Soon, one drink had turned into two, and then two had become three. It wasn't meant to be that way, but the conversation was so free flowing and natural that I didn't want it to end, and evidently, neither did she.

The only thing I didn't tell her was that I was leaving. I meant to bring it up, but every time I was about to, I quickly changed directions. I didn't know why I did it. Perhaps there was a part of me that hoped that we might still get together, and if she knew that I was leaving the country soon, she would revert back to her old self and stop being as friendly as she was. I didn't want that.

"So, what's the next one about then?" I asked as I finished off my third drink. We had gone back to talking about her work, and she had told me that she had a deal to write a second book.

"I actually have no idea. I know they want one in the same genre, but that's about it. It's a strange feeling, having this much freedom. They are literally paying me to ensure that I stick with them. It's crazy."

"Well, if you need inspiration, I'm willing to help. The night is still young after all. Plenty of time for me to embarrass myself and provide you with a new story line."

"Wow, thank you, that's so generous," she said seriously, quickly cracking a smile afterwards.

"If that's the case, another drink?"

"Definitely."

I leaned back over my shoulder, signaling for the waiter. He was at us in less than a second. "Hey, can we have another round?"

"Sorry, sir, ma'am. I'm afraid that we're about to close."

"What? It's only nine?" I responded, shocked while also feeling a little miffed. If the bar was closing than we would have to leave, and that would mean the night was over. I really didn't want that.

"Usually, we're open until one, but our owner has a personal matter he has to attend to, and there's no one on staff tonight that can manage. It's for one night only. If you come back tomorrow, we'll be open until our usual time." He offered us a small bow and hurried away.

"Well, that's annoying," I said, trying to hide my disappointment. I didn't want her knowing how upset I was at the fact that the bar I had chosen had all but ruined my night.

"Do you have work tomorrow?" she asked. It may have been my imagination, but she sounded a little nervous when she asked, as if she wasn't sure she even wanted to know.

"Not until the afternoon."

"Well, if you want another drink, you can always come back to my place. Just for one." She resolutely refused to look at me when she asked, but I could see her cheeks burning up and sense the trepidation in her voice.

"Back to your place?"

"Yeah. I live just around the corner. Only if you want to, of course. You don't have to."

"No, no. I'd like that. Yeah, I'd really like that."

I didn't even bother hiding my smile. There would have been no point. It burned big and bright across my face as I stood from my chair. I then reached my hand out for her. She took it, and I helped her to stand. The moment that our hands touched, a shot of electrical energy charged through my body. Even though it was like nothing I had felt before, I knew exactly what it meant.

Still holding her hand, I led her from the bar and down the street. We didn't talk on the walk, but instead, basked in each other’s company. I had never felt so comfortable, and I was sure she was the same. Although I had no idea where this night was going to end, I just hoped that it was in Kate's company. Really, I just couldn't believe my luck in how the night had turned out.