Chapter 14

Eric

 

With dessert out of the way, we went looking for dinner, which of course meant more amazing pasta and Italian coffee. If not for all the walking we’d been doing on this trip, I’d have gained twenty pounds by now for sure.

Eventually, we headed in for the night, and it was a good thing we’d had sex earlier because by the time we made it back to the room, we were both way too stuffed to even think about fooling around. We stripped off our clothes, collapsed into bed, and wrapped up in each other’s arms. If the room had been even a couple of degrees hotter, our combined body heat would have been too much, but fortunately, it was perfect.

Or at least it would have been perfect if I could fall asleep.

I dozed for a little while, but then I was wide awake. While Andrew snored softly with his head on my shoulder, I stroked his hair and watched the streetlights cut sharp lines across the ceiling.

I needed to sleep. I should’ve been asleep. Only problem was now I couldn’t stop thinking about the guy at the laundromat. I’d finally put my insecurities to rest and decided there was no point in worrying about Andrew running off with someone else. Instead, I moved on to something that had me even more restless and worried—how much it had bothered me to think of Andrew taking off. Not because I thought he had a wandering eye, but because of how much I wanted him to stay with me. Like… stay with me.

I sighed, still stroking his smooth hair. It was easy to fantasize about inviting him to come to Seattle with me, but as soon as that fantasy became reality, it would fall apart. I had a business to run. Andrew had a job to find. Everything about this trip had been an escape from our real lives, and if we tried to shoehorn this life into the world we’d temporarily left behind, it wouldn’t work.

On one hand, I was ready to go home. I was beginning to reach that inevitable point in a vacation where I was ready to sleep in my own bed and be surrounded by my familiar office and condo. I was starting to get a little homesick, missing the most ridiculous and random things like the view of Mount Rainier, the sound of rain on my bedroom window, and the constant chaos of my office. Yeah, as fun as this trip had been, I was definitely ready to go home.

Except…

I gazed at Andrew in the darkness.

I’m not ready to leave you behind.

Sleeping in my own bed could wait if it meant sharing this one with Andrew for a few more nights. I knew that wasn’t possible, but that didn’t stop me from longing for it. From wanting to segue seamlessly into life as Eric and Andrew just like our vacations had blended into our vacation.

On the way to Naples, I’d caught myself thinking about how this trip had become our trip, not him tagging along with me. While we’d had dinner in Sorrento, I’d struggled to imagine being there with anyone else, including the man I’d been engaged to up until very recently. Now, all of that seemed even more profoundly true.

But what was I supposed to do? It was one thing to invite him to spend a couple of weeks with me when I was already on vacation and he didn’t have a job waiting for him at home. It would be another thing entirely to suggest he come to Seattle.

What if he found a job there? What if he moved to Seattle? What if we found ourselves living in the same city, and then realized this thing we were doing was just a fling? It had taken four years for Chris and me to figure out we weren’t in it for the long haul. By then, we’d resented each other so much that it was almost a relief when he finally cheated on me and gave us a reason to call it quits.

I wasn’t so jaded that I thought Andrew and I would definitely end up like Chris and me. I just couldn’t help worrying that if he picked up his life and came to my city, there’d be pressure on us to make it work, and that kind of pressure wasn’t good for a relationship. Especially not one that had barely gotten off the ground.

It reminded me of how things had gone with my sister and her ex-husband. They’d hit it off from the start, and they were so obviously compatible. They’d adored each other. Everyone who’d met them had pretty much started whispering that she’d have a ring on her hand within a few months.

Five months into their relationship, they’d eloped—because she was three months pregnant.

Shortly before my niece turned three, they divorced. My sister confided in me later that while she loved her daughter more than life itself, it was hard not to wish she’d been born later. Maybe if they’d had some more time to be a couple, things would have worked out. But before the shine had even worn off, it had stopped mattering if they wanted to be together, and they’d felt like they had to be together. The resentment festered, and the stress of pregnancy, an infant, and then a toddler had been too much.

Moving to the same area was hardly the same degree of commitment as having a baby together, but there was pressure. What if Andrew hated his new job or Seattle and started resenting me? What if I decided I wasn’t as into him as I’d thought and kept seeing him because I felt like I had to?

Closing my eyes, I sighed. The sooner I made peace with reality—specifically, that what I had with Andrew started and ended with this vacation—the sooner I could move on with my life.

He murmured something, then stirred against me. “You’re still awake.” Sleepiness slurred his words.

“Yeah.” I carded my fingers through his hair. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“Nah.” He lifted his chin and kissed under my jaw. “Something keeping you awake?”

Just wondering how I’m going to sleep after you.

“Nothing in particular.” I curved my hand around the back of his neck. “What about you?”

“No.” He lifted his head, and we found each other’s lips in the darkness. Andrew gave one of those soft little moans that I’d long ago become addicted to and pulled himself up so he was partway over me and neither of us had to crane our necks anymore. I wrapped my arms around him, and the heat of his skin made my heart race. I was going to miss this. All of it. Not just the sex, but his sensual kiss, his gentle touch, his warm presence beside me in bed.

And damn—so much for being too tired or full for sex. The kiss quickly went from soft and lazy to hungry and needy. If he’d been sleepy a moment ago, he was wide awake now, and so was I. We rocked together like we were already fucking. Our mouths barely managed to kiss properly in between breathing hard and swearing as we turned each other on. His rock-hard erection rubbed against my hip, and when I slid a hand between us to stroke him, he whimpered and thrust into my fist. He propped himself on one arm and reached between us too, and it was my turn to moan as he slipped two fingers into me. With the heel of his hand, he gently teased my cock, and his fingers moved in time with my hand on his cock, and… Jesus, I could not get enough of sex with this man.

“Fuck, baby,” I purred. “I want… want you so bad.”

“Mmm, me too. Should I get a condom?”

Mute, I nodded.

He brushed his lips across mine, then slipped his fingers free and leaned away toward the bedside table. Foil rustled. He sat up, and the familiar sound of the wrapper tearing made my toes curl. What little light came in through the shutters showed me the outline of Andrew putting on the condom. The lube bottle glinted faintly just before he clicked the top, and I shivered with anticipation at the slick sound of him stroking it onto the condom.

Then he came back down, and I started to part my legs for him, but he whispered, “Turn over.”

Oh, fuck yeah.

I rolled onto my stomach. I lifted my hips enough to slide a hand underneath, and I teased my cock with two fingers as Andrew settled on top of me. Guiding himself in was a little tricky in this position, but it only took a second or two of fumbling before the slick head of his cock was sliding into me. The first stroke made me gasp. I loved how he felt inside me, and I loved the way he moaned as he filled me up.

“Don’t know if I’ve mentioned this lately,” he breathed against my neck, “but you feel amazing.”

“S-so do you.” I arched under him. “Fuck, baby…”

“Faster?”

“Oh yeah.”

He nipped my neck, then picked up more speed. Whatever caution he’d had in the beginning, whatever worry he’d had about hurting me or doing the wrong thing, it was gone now. He thrust hard enough to knock the breath out of me each time he slammed home, and between his cock inside me and my fingers on my own cock, I was utterly lost, swimming in breathless, dizzying pleasure.

The physical pleasure turned my thoughts to a jumble of yes and oh God and more, but one came through clear as day:

If what we’re doing is temporary, why does it feel this right?

I squeezed my eyes shut and worked my cock furiously, focusing on that instead of the flurry of emotions that might get loose if I lingered on that thought too long. It did feel right, and I held onto that and didn’t let myself think about anything else except how our bodies fit together and moved together, and how Andrew knew exactly how touch me and kiss me and fuck me. It didn’t matter if he was using his mouth, his fingers, his dick—he laser-focused on sending me into the stratosphere, and goddamn, he was good at it.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” he breathed, his rhythm faltering as if to emphasize how close he was. “Oh God, yeah.”

I rolled my hips as much as I could like this and was rewarded with a throaty groan and a shudder. I squeezed his cock, and he thrust harder, growling as he tried to force himself deeper, and then he exhaled hard across my shoulder as his dick pulsed inside me.

Before he’d even stopped shaking, he panted in my ear, “Roll over.” Then he kissed the side of my neck, pulled out, and moved aside so I could do as he’d asked.

I’d barely landed on the pillows before his face was between my thighs, and oh yeah, this was going to drive me over the edge in no time. Andrew was long past the tentativeness of the first time he’d done this. He knew what drove me wild, and he didn’t hold back at all. His lips and tongue relentlessly teased my cock, sliding up and down, squeezed gently here and there, and sometimes sucking just a little.

He shifted onto one arm, and my spine tingled. Yes. Oh fuck, yes. Do it, baby…

His fingers slid into me and curled, and my own fingers curled in his hair.

“Oh God…” I kneaded his scalp with both hands. “Fuck, Andrew…”

He groaned, and his tongue and fingers found a steady rhythm that almost sent me through the ceiling. He rode that thin line between enough to get me off and way too much, and every swirl and circle and flutter of his tongue sent me higher and higher, made my head lighter and lighter, made my breath come faster and faster, and—

“Fuck!” I cried out more than that, but I didn’t hear it because holy shit, my orgasm was insane, and Andrew didn’t stop swirling and circling and fluttering until I clumsily nudged his forehead.

I dropped back onto the bed. A second later, he was over me again, and he brushed a kiss across my lips. “I still need to take care of the condom. Be right back.”

I murmured something in the ballpark of “okay,” and after another quick kiss, he was gone. Over the thumping of my own heart, I listened to his bare feet on the hard floor. He rustled around in the bathroom for a moment. The faucet ran. Some more rustling. Then bare feet on the floor again, and I smiled as the mattress dipped with his weight. It was nearly impossible to see anything in the darkness, but we found each other and sank together. No accidental elbowing. No clumsiness. By the time we’d settled in under the thin sheet, we’d switched positions from earlier. Instead of Andrew’s head on my chest, we were on our sides and he’d molded his warm body to my back.

“Next time you can’t sleep,” he whispered, pausing to kiss behind my ear, “wake me up and I’ll help.”

I laughed as I wriggled back against him. “Duly noted.”

Except how much longer do I have that option?

But I was too tired now to think about life after Andrew.

So, curled up in his arms, I finally drifted off to sleep.