Chapter 16

Eric

 

The next morning, I woke to an empty bed, but the quiet clicking of computer keys explained Andrew’s absence well enough.

I stretched a little, then sat up. Andrew glanced at me, smiled sleepily, and went back to writing what I assumed was an email.

“Any more responses?” I asked as I rubbed my eyes.

“A few.” He tapped a couple of keys, then turned toward me. “This job market is awful, though.”

I grimaced sympathetically. “That sucks. But at least you’re getting some nibbles. Any word on the ones that were interested the other day?”

Scowling, he shook his head.

“Damn. That’s rough.” I got up and stretched, wondering why the hell I felt eighty all of a sudden. Oh right—walking, fucking, walking, fucking.

“I should probably send out a few more applications before I do anything else.” He looked at me, brow pinched. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Not at all.” I dropped a kiss on his forehead. “In fact, while you do that, I’m going to grab a shower.”

“Okay. I’ll finish up, and we can go grab breakfast.”

“Sounds good.” A light kiss on his lips, and I headed into the bathroom.

I may have still been a bit sleepy, but by the time I stepped into the tiny shower stall, my brain was wide awake and whirring. Every time I remembered Andrew was hunting for a job, a knot of panic coiled in my gut. I hated the reminder that we had normal lives to return to—and much sooner than I was ready to think about. I wasn’t ready to let him go. I sure as shit wasn’t ready to lock things down with him and call this a committed, monogamous, long term relationship, but I wasn’t ready to let go either.

You’ve known him a month, Eric. A month.

I sighed as hot water rushed over my back and shoulders. I’d only known him a month. A long, amazing, sexy, perfect month that simultaneously felt like forever and a heartbeat.

We shouldn’t have been this close already. We still barely knew each other.

But it was just so… easy. Everything about us. Conversation. Travel plans. Figuring out where and what to eat. Nights when sex was off the table. Nights when sex was on the table. He hadn’t even gotten mad when I’d had that moment of jealousy at the laundromat—he’d just reassured me he was here with me, and that was the end of it. Everything had gone right back to being laidback and comfortable and easy.

And short. Way too short. We were getting down to hours now. Tomorrow, we’d head to the airport and fly off in separate directions.

I still have today and tonight with him, though. Might as well enjoy those and wait until I’m on the plane to think it all to death.

After I’d showered, I needed to shave to keep my beard from getting unruly. I kept it trimmed with an electric razor and shaved around it with a disposable one. My razor was getting dull, though, so I ejected the blade into the trash, then unzipped my toiletry kit and felt around for the pack of new ones. As I did, my fingers brushed something soft, and the hair on my arm rose. I closed my hand around the thing I’d grazed, and withdrew the plush monkey Andrew had bought me in Gibraltar. The one with YOU ROCK on its T-shirt. The one he’d secretly slipped into my toiletry kit for me to find.

And just like when I’d found it the first time on the ship, the little monkey made my breath hitch. It had blown me away that he’d made such a sweet gesture, and the timing had been impeccable. As if he’d known I would find it in a moment when I needed it the most.

Still holding the monkey, I looked at the closed door separating me from Andrew.

This guy is amazing. Why am I so afraid of what we’re doing?

Because… Chris.

Because… distance.

Because… because I’m a fucking coward.

I sighed and slid the monkey back into my toiletry kit. I shaved, carefully avoiding meeting my own gaze in the mirror because I really was a chickenshit. No two ways about it. Too scared to look myself in the eye because I was too scared to think about life after this vacation, whether that life was with Andrew or without him.

I slipped on a pair of boxers and stepped out of the bathroom. Andrew had gotten up from the computer desk and was pulling on a pair of jeans. I paused in the doorway, just gazing at him. God, but this man was hot. On top of everything else—being sweet and easygoing and fun to be around—he had to go and be sexy too. It was almost like the universe wanted me to be unable to resist him.

He met my gaze and paused, eyebrow arched. “What?”

You’re so beautiful.

I grinned and shook my head as I came closer. “Just ogling a hot half-naked man.”

He laughed, but it turned into a gasp as I slid my hands up his bare chest. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. There seemed to be something witty on the tip of his tongue, some comment sparkling in his eyes, but if there was, he let it go and kissed me instead. His kiss tasted as minty as mine did, and the cool mint somehow emphasized the warmth of his mouth as he slid his tongue alongside mine.

I took in a deep breath through my nose and held him tighter, rubbing my hip against his swelling cock, which earned me one of those helpless whimpers I’d been addicted to since day one. Suddenly I needed him. I needed him naked, and I needed us fucking, and I needed to kiss and scratch and grope and bite every inch of him until I was imprinted all over his gorgeous body.

I don’t know where we go from here, I desperately wanted to tell him, but I have you right now, so I’m not going to pass up this chance.

“Thought we were going to go find breakfast,” he murmured between kisses.

“We will.” After I’ve committed every inch of you to memory all over again. I dragged my fingers up his back. “Can’t hurt to work up an appetite first, right?”

“Mmm, good point.” He dipped his head and started kissing my neck.

With some graceless fumbling, we shed what little clothing we had on and tumbled back into bed together. I had no idea where to start or what I wanted to do, but something in my brain must have had a plan, because we’d barely hit the bed before my mouth started whispering “fuck me.” As soon as I’d said it, I liked the idea. Loved the idea. Christ, he couldn’t get inside me fast enough.

I thought he might tease and insist on some prolonged foreplay just to drive me wild, but instead, he lunged for the dwindling reserve of condoms next to the bed. He quickly put one on, along with some lube, and then he was on top of me and in me, and his breath huffed across my damp skin as he started thrusting hard. He fucked me hard enough to knock the breath out of me, and I gripped his shoulders as my back arched off the bed underneath us. Fuck, I loved this. We fit so perfectly together. What a surprise that our bodies fit together as well as we did.

We moved together until my muscles were aching, so his must have been burning with exertion, but he didn’t slow down. Sweat rolled down his face and gleamed on his shoulders, and the bed frame squeaked every time he slammed his cock home. Hell, it almost sounded like he was moving the bed across the hardwood floor one thrust at a time.

Then, breathing hard, Andrew slowed to a stop and lifted himself up. Eyes locked on mine, he panted, “Fuck me again. Please.”

A shiver ran through me. Groaning softly, I drew him down into a kiss. As we kissed, he rocked his hips a little, just enough to keep moving inside me, and I was tempted to suggest we keep doing this for now, then switch later. But the hunger in his voice when he’d asked? The way my whole body tingled at the thought of topping him? Yes. Oh yes.

“Okay,” I murmured. “L-let me get… let me get the toy.”

He kissed me again, then started to pull out, but we both moaned in protest, so he took a few more thrusts before he finally withdrew all the way. I took the toy off my suitcase. Andrew handed me a couple of condoms, and while I put them on the toy, he stripped off the one he’d been wearing. It only took a second to get the condoms on both ends of the toy, and as I slid one end into myself, Andrew watched me, slowly stroking his dick.

“You want me up on my knees?” he asked.

I shook my head. “On your back.”

He grinned. “You like it like that, don’t you?”

“And you don’t?”

“I didn’t say that.” He lay back on the pillows and spread his legs. “I fucking love it like this.”

“Good. So do I.” I knelt between his thighs and guided the toy in.

As soon as the toy was lined up, I shifted my attention to his face, and I watched his expression as I carefully pushed in.

“Oh yeah,” he moaned, letting his head fall back as I eased in deeper. “Fuck…”

I bit my lip, forcing myself to move slowly until he’d completely relaxed. I wanted to go at him hard and fast, but I didn’t want to hurt him, so I was careful and patient.

“Like that?” I ground out.

He nodded. “Yeah. God… yeah. More, baby.”

A shudder ran up my spine, and my hips jerked, forcing me into him. The sound he made wasn’t one of pain, though. He whimpered, arching his back and rolling his hips like he wanted to encourage me to do it again, so I did. I slammed into him, driving moans from both of us. We fell into a rhythm. Fast. Hard. Deep. Every time the toy moved in him, it moved in me too, and the front rubbed my cock just right to send me higher with every thrust.

And the view was… holy fuck. I enjoyed sex in pretty much any position, but from the first time I’d topped Andrew, I’d been hooked on missionary. It meant being extra careful so his balls didn’t get pinned between us, and the movement could be murder on my hips and shoulders, but I couldn’t help myself—I loved the way he looked. I loved the sight of him laid out in front of me, legs apart and face full of lust while I rode him and he begged for more.

When I rocked my hips like this, the toy rubbed perfectly inside, and especially when I steadied it with my hand, my cock slid just right against it. All of that, combined with the downright pornographic view of Andrew, and I thought I was going to explode.

“God, yeah,” he moaned, pumping himself furiously. “Come, baby. Fuck, I wanna see you… see you come…”

I squeezed my eyes shut, gasped, and came, and Andrew swore as he jerked under me, the movements making the toy move just right to keep me coming until I finally collapsed on top of him. Andrew slung an arm around me. I didn’t pull out, and judging by the way he was holding me close, he didn’t want me to. For a moment, we just held on, breathing hard and kissing lazily with the toy still buried in both of us.

I want to be this close to you all the time.

The thought scared me. Thrilled me and made me swoon but also scared me. I wasn’t ready to want someone as much as I wanted Andrew, and I wasn’t ready to let him go either.

I’m losing my mind, aren’t I?

My muscles were starting to quiver from holding myself up after riding him so hard, so Andrew and I finally separated long enough to ditch the toy and clean the cum off both of us. Then we sank back onto the mattress, still kissing, still touching all over each other’s naked, trembling bodies.

Aside from my whirring thoughts—all the things that had been bouncing around in my head since I’d gotten into the shower—I hadn’t felt this good in ages. Not even with the man I was supposed to marry. For the past couple of weeks, I’d felt free, relaxed, and happy, and that just drove home what the last few years had really been: a miserable, numb grind. No wonder my ex-fiancé had gotten fed up.

When was the last time I had this much fun?

I swallowed, stroking Andrew’s hair as I gazed up at the ceiling.

When was the last time I was this much fun?

Truth was, it had been a long time. I’d been so consumed by my job for so long, I’d let my last relationship fall by the wayside. My business was doing great, but my social life? I could barely remember the last time I’d actually gone out and socialized. If I didn’t see someone on social media or run into them at the grocery store or something, I didn’t see them. Hell, I barely saw my family aside from my brother, and I only saw him because we worked together.

I released a long breath. Okay, everything about this trip had been a wakeup call. I definitely needed to adjust my priorities when I got home. Less time and energy spent working. More time and energy poured into actually living my life.

I lifted my head, gazing at Andrew in the soft light of our room.

And maybe I need to focus on not letting another relationship slip through my fingers because I’m too focused on my job.

Because there has to be a way for us to make this work.