Chapter 27
Friday morning Colin stretched in bed. He’d woken briefly when Hernán rose to run with Brandon and David. The spot next to him was still empty when he stirred again, but the shower was on. Minutes later, Hernán came into the bedroom, drying himself vigorously.
Colin held out his arms. “Come back to me.”
Hernán laughed as he ran the towel over his legs. The vision of his tight body, gleaming from the shower and backlit by the bathroom lights, went straight to Colin’s dick. He threw off the covers to expose himself and to get Hernán interested.
“Stop that,” Hernán laughed. “You may have the day off but I have an ESL class scheduled for ten.”
“That isn’t for…,” Colin glanced at the bedside clock. “Another two hours.”
Hernán sat on the edge of the bed, leaned down and kissed Colin soundly. He twined his fingers through Colin’s hair and pressed their foreheads together. “I’m a little sore from your ‘inauguration’ last night,” he murmured with a smile.
“So good,” Colin said with a shiver. “But even with that off the menu, you’ve taught me a lot of other wicked things. Like when you pushed Bluebeard inside me in the morning while you—”
“Stop!” Hernán demanded with a wink. “Your wiles won’t work on me today, villain. I have students to teach. I didn’t get to finish preparing my lesson yesterday.” He stroked Colin’s hard cock twice with a twisting motion that elicited a gasp. “Save this for me. Are we still going to New Jersey?”
“Absolutely,” Colin said. “Well, let me check the weather to make sure it’s good for flying. But unless a storm has popped up, we’ll head out as soon as you wrap things today.”
Hernán gnawed on his lip. “Do you think your parents will like me?”
“I think they’re going to love you. We’ll have a great time, I promise. Remind me when your last class ends?”
“I should finish by two.”
“Perfect. I’ll pick you up at the center and we’ll head right to the airport. Just throw together a few clothes for the weekend before you go.”
Hernán leaned in for another kiss, his naked skin gliding over Colin’s bare chest. “Will I be sleeping in your room or in a guest room?”
“Oh, in my old room with me,” Colin assured him. “My parents have known I’m gay forever. It isn’t a big deal for them.”
“That must be amazing,” Hernán said, his face softening. “Other than Rudy, nobody in my family would accept it. Our family always knew about Rudy, of course, and made life hard for him. His father, my uncle Elías, didn’t like it but at least he got Rudy out of San Marcos. I don’t think even my uncle Juan would accept it about me, and he’s the one I’m closest to except my sister.”
He thought about that. “Well, Brijith might understand. But growing up, nobody even mentioned the possibility I was gay, except for my grandmother when she got mad at me.”
Colin’s blood boiled whenever he thought of Hernán’s grandmother but he held his tongue. Instead, he said, “Be prepared for sleeping in a room decorated in Vintage Nerd.”
Hernán grinned down at him. “Have you ever had sex in that bed?” Colin shook his head, and Hernán whispered, “Then be sure to pack one of your friends and some condoms. From what Chris said, you’ve been on PrEP long enough now. I think I’m ready to make love to you again, if you want that.”
Colin groaned. “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you? I’ll be sitting around all morning thinking about you inside me and I won’t get shit done.”
“Pobrecito,” Hernán said with a small laugh. “I think you’ll make it.”
He finished getting ready for work and Colin lay there, watching him. A peculiar, bubbly feeling tickled his chest as he tracked Hernán doing his morning routine. Watching him apply deodorant, brush his teeth, dry his hair… It was all prosaic, yet gave Colin a sense of well-being he’d never experienced in his adult life.
Hernán retrieved clothes from the guest room but carried them back in to get dressed. “When we return from New Jersey,” Colin said, “why don’t you move your clothes in here? There’s plenty of room in the drawers and closet.”
Hernán glanced at him shyly. “Are you sure? Then I’d like that.”
The bubbly feeling in Colin’s chest expanded.
He got up to make them both some breakfast, and sent Hernán off with a kiss. Since he had a few hours to kill before they departed, Colin checked the weather to make sure conditions remained favorable for flying. The reports were so good, in fact, that he decided to fly up under visual flight rules, or VFR.
I wonder if Hernán would ever want to learn to fly, he mused. It would be wonderful to have someone share his hobby. That idea made him think of his grandfather, which brought his thoughts around to his parents.
He called his mother, since their last talk had been a week or two earlier.
“Colin, dear,” his mother said brightly when she answered. “How are you, darling?”
“I’m great, Mom. We had a really good lobbying trip to Capitol Hill yesterday. Did you get my message about coming to the house for a long weekend.”
“Yes, and I’m so excited to see you. I assume you’re flying yourself? I’ll send Watkins to pick you up if you know about when you’ll land. Your father is home this weekend and we haven’t seen you in months. Katherine is coming over this evening as well to see you, but Alhaadi took the children camping. I asked Rosie to prepare a lovely dinner for us. And you’re staying until Monday?”
“Yes, until Monday. We’ll probably land about four o’clock.” Colin hesitated; he hadn’t told her about Hernán yet. “Um, Mom? I didn’t mention this in my message, but I won’t be alone. I’m bringing someone with me to meet you.”
“Oh, are you seeing someone now? You’ve never brought a man home before.”
“Yes. It, uh, he’s really special.” Colin frowned, nervous to be talking to Mom about Hernán. “To me anyway. And he likes me. I think.”
Mom laughed softly, kindly. “Darling, don’t fret so. I can hear your mind churning through the phone.”
Colin whooshed out a gust of air. “You’re right. I don’t know why I do that.”
“Well, tell me about him.”
“His name is Hernán Portillo.” Colin edited the story, mentioning only that Hernán was originally from El Salvador, they’d met in Provincetown and Hernán was doing volunteer work at the center. The rest of it—Hernán’s immigration status, the fact that he was living with Colin—could wait.
“He sounds charming. Your father and I can’t wait to meet Hernán.”
“I think you’ll like him. I kind of wish Katherine wasn’t coming to dinner tonight. I don’t want to freak him out, and I think meeting you will be plenty.”
“Colin Richard Felton. Are you embarrassed by your family?”
He squirmed. “Of course not. It’s just, the house is already a lot to take in. He comes from a poor family. He knows we have money, but I think it’s theoretical for him.”
He could hear Mom’s smile in her voice. “I suppose your father and I should move down to one of the guest cottages. We could pass ourselves off as the caretakers. Rosie can slip dinner in through the back door.”
He pretended to take her joke seriously. “Well, if you wear some jeans with holes and a flannel shirt, you might be able to pull that off. Does Dad have any overalls?”
“Silly boy,” she laughed. “If this Hernán feels about you the way you obviously feel about him, he won’t get sidetracked by the house. And your father and I are perfectly capable of being charming hosts without namedropping every two minutes. I’ll ask Katherine to hold off on the third degree until at least the dessert course.”
They chatted for a few more minutes, and Colin was glad they were making the trip. He really missed his parents, and he had an immature need for them to see the handsome man he’d won for himself.
He checked in with Hernán by text mid-morning.
How was your first class?
Great. Real progress. Vonda asked me to translate for a new client between ESL classes so I won’t have time for lunch. Can you bring me something to eat?
Will do. I’ll be downstairs at 2
Colin got himself ready to go. He stowed Bluebeard in his bag along with some lube and several condoms. Blushing, he added the rubber bulb for his portable enema kit. If Hernán was truly ready, Colin wanted to be prepared as soon and as often as possible after they got settled at the house.
With time left to kill, he opened a book to take his mind off his excitement, but the apartment felt empty without Hernán there as well. Even when they were in different rooms, Colin was always happily aware he wasn’t alone. He’d never realized before Hernán moved in how lonely Washington was.
At one-thirty, he loaded his small Tumi suitcase and flight bag into the Audi, along with Hernán’s knapsack. By the time he reached the immigration center’s building, Hernán waited on the sidewalk.
Climbing in, Hernán leaned over to kiss Colin. “Maryanne told me to let the class go a few minutes early,” he explained. “I think she’s excited about us going to see your parents and she told me she was just kidding last night about your mother.”
They ate the sandwiches Colin had picked up at a deli as they drove to his airport. Hernán stood back to watch as Colin maneuvered his plane out, and then stowed his Audi inside his hangar before locking the sliding doors again. As he moved around the plane to get it ready to go, Hernán asked, “Is there anything I can do to help you?”
Colin grinned. “Sure, if you’re interested. I can teach you some of the readiness checks.” He showed Hernán how he got down on hands and knees under each wing and pressed the metal spike on top of his fuel cup into the nearest of five sumps.
“I’m checking to see if there’s any water in the tank. If so, it would sink to the bottom because water is heavier than aviation fuel.” He held the blue liquid collected in the cup up to the light. “And this is all fine.” After repeating the check twice more, he opened the cap on the right wing.
Peering inside with Hernán next to him, he said, “See how the fuel level is close to the top? I have gauges in the cockpit as well but we always confirm visually that the tanks are full.” Carefully, he poured in the small amount of liquid he’d drained from the sumps, and then replaced the cap.
Under Colin’s careful eye, Hernán did the checks on the left wing, and then walked with Colin around the plane to inspect it visibly. “We’re making sure no antenna is bent and the skin hasn’t taken damage,” he explained.
When they’d finished all the checks, Colin finally clapped his hands together and enthused, “All good to go!”
Hernán grinned. “I love how excited you are about flying.”
“And I love that you’re willing to go up with me. I’ve got friends and family who won’t set foot in my plane.” That sounded like they didn’t trust him as the pilot, so Colin hastened to add, “They think it’s too small to be safe.”
Hernán gave him a lopsided grin. “To be honest, it is a little scary but I have faith.”
“In aerodynamics?”
“In you,” Hernán said simply.
Well, that shut Colin up entirely. The bubbly feeling he’d had all morning threatened to spill over. His voice sounded hoarse to him as he said, “When I have precious cargo like you, I’m extra careful.”
He made sure Hernán was properly situated in the passenger seat before buckling himself in. After another few minutes they were airborne. Hernán’s expression was joyful, and he seemed far more relaxed than on that first flight from Provincetown.
In between making radio calls, Colin explained various instruments and panels on his plane. Hernán asked a lot of question about the displays, obviously grasping their uses and importance.
Cautiously, Colin took the opening. “Do you think you might enjoy flying lessons?”
Hernán crooked his head as he thought about that. “I’m not sure. I’m kind of happy being ferried around in the sky by my boyfriend. Why? Would you like me to take lessons?”
“Only if it’s something you get interested in. It’s a lot of time to put in even to get your license. Usually between seventy-five and a hundred flying hours, plus you have to study written materials and pass a test. If you then want to get an instrument rating, that takes a lot longer.”
“I get the feeling you haven’t had a lot of people to share aviation with,” Hernán said.
“True, at least since my grandfather died. My dad was never interested in learning. Neither were my brother and sister. My mom actually did take a few lessons, but she decided it wasn’t for her.”
“I’ll think about it,” Hernán said after a pause.
The hour-long flight went by quickly until he had to concentrate for landing. He put down at Teterboro, a private airport in New Jersey close to Manhattan and the nearest one to his parents’ house in Saddle River.
When they had taxied to a stop, opened the gull-wing doors of the plane, and emerged, Hernán’s face went blank. A man in a black suit waited for them next to a limousine. Colin said sheepishly, “Mom sent the driver to pick us up. Sorry I didn’t warn you.”
Hernán fidgeted as Watkins greeted “Mister Colin” and unloaded their bags from the plane’s cargo hold to put in the trunk of the limo. Colin tugged Hernán toward the open door and into the back seat. When they were settled, Watkins closed the door behind Hernán before taking the wheel.
He whispered to Colin, “Did you grow up with a driver?”
Colin took his hand. “Yes. I hated it then. Watkins drove my brother, sister and me to and from our boarding school. It used to embarrass me, frankly. Most of my friends showed up in ordinary cars. Katherine always loved it though.”
“Katherine is older than you, right? You don’t talk a lot about her. Will she be there this weekend?”
“Yes, she’s coming for dinner. Her husband and two kids are camping somewhere. Though what Alhaadi considers camping, I can’t guess. It’s probably a luxury cabin in the woods with a pool.”
“Do you and Katherine get along well?”
“We’re very different people without a lot in common. She loves business and started working with Dad as soon as she could. I was never even tempted.”
“How about your brother, uh, Griffin?”
“We see each other more often. He didn’t want to work with Dad but he’s got almost as much business acumen as Katherine. He started a line of organic soaps and shampoos for people with sensitive skin. It’s doing really well. A few big stores in DC carry his products so I see him when he comes for meetings.”
Hernán’s nerves practically showed through his skin. “Your lives are so different from anything I ever knew in El Salvador. What if your family doesn’t like me?”
Colin kissed his knuckles. “Please don’t worry about that. Look, I know how lucky I am. There’s money and comfort and all that. But I don’t think I was ever really happy until you came into my life. My parents are going to see that right away, and they’ll love you for that alone.”
Hernán blushed and hid his head on Colin’s shoulder. Colin debated closing the privacy panel, but he didn’t think Hernán would be comfortable shutting out Watkins. He contented himself with tightening his arm around Hernán.
The drive didn’t take long, and the industrial parts of New Jersey quickly gave way to vistas of horse farms and large houses. Hernán watched out the window, rapt. The car wove its way into a tree-lined and manicured neighborhood, with large houses partially obscured by hedges or carefully planted evergreens.
Colin took a deep breath as Watkins turned into his parents’ driveway and took them up to the front entrance rather than along the side of the house to the courtyard. The look on Hernán’s face was some combination of awe and terror.
“¡Dios mío!” he whispered, looking at Colin round-eyed and slack-jawed. “It’s a castle.”
Hernán had a point. The honey-colored stone and gray slate roof had been inspired by French chateaux. The looming windows, dormers, brick chimneys, and huge oak front door were designed to be impressive. Fortunately, from the front, it wasn’t obvious just how big the house really was. The tightly manicured hedges, clipped into serpentine shapes, at least helped to soften the appearance, Colin thought.
He winced. “Yeah, it’s a little much.” Hernán just shook his head.
The front door opened and Mom stepped out. Colin almost laughed, because she wore blue jeans and a flannel shirt. He’d never seen her in anything so dressed down in his life. Her blonde bob framed patrician features and icy blue eyes, the whole effect warmed by her smile.
Watkins opened the door and Colin slid out quickly to greet his mother. Bending to kiss her cheek as they hugged, he whispered, “Thank you. I didn’t think you own anything that isn’t couture.”
Mom brushed her thumb over the smudge of lipstick she’d left on his cheek. “Darling, these jeans are Chanel.”
“Of course they are.” He turned, one arm around Mom’s waist, to hold out a hand for Hernán. “Margaret Felton, this is Hernán Portillo. My boyfriend.”
Hernán stepped closer, clearly tense. He held out a hand and said, “I’m very happy to meet you. Thank you for letting me stay at your home.” His eyes seemed drawn upward to the façade.
Margaret held onto his hand. “This was all Jim’s idea. My husband. He went to Disneyland as a boy and all his life wanted to give a daughter Cinderella’s castle. So when Katherine was born, he built it! I had to make him take the towers and drawbridge out of the architect’s rendering though.”
Hernán chuckled, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “All it needs is that fairy flying over it and sprinkling pixie dust.”
“Hey, I’m standing right here, but I forgot my pixie dust,” Colin protested with a wink for Mom.
“I think there’s some in your room, dear,” she said. “Hernán, would you like a tour?”
He looked over his shoulder at the car. “Our bags—?”
“Watkins will take them to Colin’s room. Come along.” She looped an arm through Hernán’s and led the way into the house, Colin following with fingers crossed.
Hernán felt like he was walking through a museum or a movie set. At least, a place that someone like him shouldn’t touch. The interior of the house seemed even more grand than the outside.
Margaret was kind, welcoming and elegant. She kept up a running conversation as she showed him through huge rooms with vaulted ceilings and rich, upholstered furniture. He barely noticed her questions or the answers he gave as he craned his head over gorgeous paintings and other works of art.
The dining room table looked like it could seat twenty or more. The living room featured a grand piano and two fireplaces. A smaller parlor—the size of Colin’s entire apartment, it seemed—had French doors opening to a courtyard. Beyond that he could see a pool. And was that a tennis court?
Margaret ended the tour of the first floor in the kitchen. She gestured to a sturdy stool pulled next to a marble-topped island. “Boys, please have a seat. Let me get you something to drink while I check with Rosie about dinner.”
Hernán sat next to Colin, who rested his elbow on the marble and his cheek on his hand. “It’s all too much, isn’t it?” Colin asked.
Hernán shook his head in a daze. “It’s beautiful. There’s just…so much of it.”
Margaret stood near the kitchen range—easily ten yards away—and talked to a woman in a white uniform and apron. Then she returned to lean against the other side of the island. “Rosie will be over with your drinks in a moment. What do you think, Hernán? Should we take a break from the tour and let Colin show you his room? Oh, thank you,” she said to the uniformed woman, who appeared next to her with two glasses of juice.
“Mister Colin, I hope you still like grapefruit juice.”
“I do, thanks. Rosie, this is Hernán.”
She bobbed her head politely at him. “Very nice to meet you, sir. If you need any food or drinks, please don’t hesitate to ask.” She left them to return to her stove, from which wonderful smells filled the room.
Margaret glanced at her watch, a delicate gold thing at odds with her outfit. Hernán suddenly understood she’d dressed to make him comfortable, and the thought made him squirm, embarrassed.
“Your father will be home around six, Colin. Why don’t you show Hernán upstairs or rest, and we’ll have cocktails in the parlor at six-thirty. Katherine said she’d come by around seven, so we’ll sit to dinner after that. All right, dear? Is there anything you need, Hernán?”
He swallowed hard and stood up, glass of juice clenched in his hand. “No, thank you, Mrs. Felton. This is all so lovely.”
“Call me Margaret, dear. Run along and we’ll visit more soon. I want to hear more about these language classes you’re giving at Colin’s little nonprofit.”
Hernán blinked, unsure how to react. He didn’t realize he’d told her about the language classes, but then remembered the skillful way she’d asked questions as she led him through the tour. But she’d called the Immigration Initiative “Colin’s little nonprofit.” That seemed dismissive, but he bit his tongue and nodded his head.
Colin led him out of the kitchen, down a long hallway, and up a wide, spiral staircase with wrought-iron railings. On the second floor, they passed an open door revealing a wood-paneled room filled with bookcases and chairs. “The library,” Colin said, and then at the next door, added, “This is mine.”
The door was open so he gestured for Hernán to proceed him in. The room seemed huge, with walls painted a peculiar shade of a deeply saturated blue that somehow made it feel cozy. A high window with floor-to-ceiling damask curtains looked over the courtyard and swimming pool.
A king-size four-poster bed sat next to the window. Two chairs and a sofa created a seating area next to a fireplace, in which a nice blaze was going. Closets lined one wall, and another door opened to what appeared to be a bathroom.
Only gradually did Hernán see through the wealthy trappings to find Colin’s personality in the room. Star Wars figures posed in a glass case. A wall cabinet contained swords, and another was full of masks Hernán recognized as being from all over Latin America. The bedspread was blue and black, with a white square in the center. It contained embroidered words that began, “Police Telephone, Free for Use of Public.”
He knew that phrase. Racking his brain, he realized from where—Doctor Who. He looked up again at the walls and gaped.
“You painted it TARDIS blue!”
Colin blushed. “Yeah, well…I told you this was Vintage Nerd. I should probably let Mom update my room, but I dunno.” He looked around, hands in his pockets. “I still kind of like it.”
Hernán said, “It suits you, even now.”
“Hey, are you interested in masks?” Colin said, leading Hernán to the cabinet.
Colin had hoped they’d have sex when they got to his room, but Hernán seemed uncomfortable and overwhelmed by the house. Instead of playing in the sheets, Hernán had Colin dig out some of his favorite games. They spent an hour laughing together through a session of the original Star Wars board game. “I remember this as being a lot more fun,” Colin pouted as he lost.
After the game, they sprawled on Colin’s bed, Hernán’s head on his chest, and talked. When it was time to dress for dinner, he showed Hernán his marbled bathroom.
Hernán stepped out of his clothes and paused, looking at his bare feet resting on the floor. “It’s warm,” he said flatly.
“Oh good,” Colin said. “A maid thought to turn on the radiant heat in the floor. The marble gets chilly otherwise. Towel racks are heated, too.”
“Of course they are,” Hernán said, shaking his head. “I didn’t know people actually live like this.”
“Oh shit, if this bothers you, then you’re really going to hate the rest of the house. On the lower level, there’s a huge wine room for Dad, a home theater, a game room my nephews and niece have claimed entirely, an indoor putting green…”
“Shut up,” Hernán said with a laugh. “You’re teasing me.”
“Hand to God. I’ll show you after dinner.”
At six-thirty, Colin led Hernán back downstairs and to the parlor. “We can see the rest of the place later, if you want. That is, if you’re still speaking to me after dinner with my parents and Katherine.”
In the parlor, Mom had changed to a more typical outfit, a soft blue sweater and tailored wool slacks. His father stood by the bar in one corner, pouring a sherry for his wife and a scotch for himself.
He was as tall as Colin, sturdy and well-groomed, with blue-gray eyes. His thick, iron-colored hair was styled in the same way he’d worn it for decades, and his red cashmere sweater over a white shirt was the trademark “casual look” the publicists had created for him.
He glanced up when Colin and Hernán entered. “Son, good to see you. Can I make you travelers a drink?”
Colin brought Hernán over and introduced them. “Jim Felton, this is Hernán.” They shook, and Colin said, “I’ll take a vodka tonic, if you’re pouring.”
“Of course,” Dad said, reaching for the Grey Goose. “Hernán? The same?” Hernán nodded.
Taking their drinks over to one pair of facing sofas, Colin sank back into the cushions while Hernán stayed perched on the edge, as if about to bolt.
Mom said to Dad, “Jim, Hernán speaks five languages.”
Hernán muttered, “I’m only fluent in four.”
“Only four,” Dad chuckled. “That’s remarkable. What do you do, Hernán?”
Colin jumped in. “Hernán’s working with me at the Initiative for now. He gives language classes and does some translation. He saved my neck this week.” With that, he launched into a description of the lobbying visit. He described the way Hernán had gotten Sabeen comfortable, the great job all his team members did, and how great Maryanne’s leadership had been.
Hernán looked at him, puzzled. Colin wasn’t sure why.
Before he could ask, Dad said, “I’m glad you’ve stuck with the nonprofit, Colin. Usually you’d have given up by now.” Colin felt his face begin to burn. To Hernán, Dad chortled slightly, “Colin tried all kinds of things as a kid, but nothing really kept his attention. He didn’t want to play sports, or join activities. He didn’t even want to go to Yale or work in the family business. I really worried he’d never find something to hold his attention.”
“Dear,” Mom said, resting a hand on Dad’s arm. “You know Colin loves his aviation. He’s always been committed to that.” She asked, “Hernán, how do you like going up with my son?”
Hernán sipped his drink and wet his lips. “I like it. Colin has so much passion for flying that I feel completely safe with him.”
Jim smiled. “Passion isn’t a word we usually use for Colin. Is it, Son? But yes, Hernán. My father flew in World War II and kept it up ever after. He took Colin flying as soon as Margaret would let him. Colin, remember when he wanted you to join the Air Force?”
“I still think I would have liked it,” Colin said quietly into his cocktail.
“Oh no,” Mom laughed lightly. “I can’t imagine any of my children living in barracks or whatever they have in the military. You like your comforts! Bad enough when you ended up with that little apartment in Berkley. Dear, do you remember how small that place was?” she asked her husband.
“I don’t know why you wouldn’t just let us buy you a nice house out there. It would have been a good investment, too, the way real estate has continued to soar.”
Colin was spared the need to answer when his sister arrived. Katherine looked more like their father than their mother. Only thirty-one, she carried herself with gravity Colin associated with much older people. She wore slacks and a blouse with a few pieces of African jewelry Colin recalled her Kenyan husband giving her over the years.
He rose and kissed her cheek before introducing Hernán. Dad fetched her a glass of white wine and she sat on the sofa between Mom and Dad. Before she could start in with quizzing Hernán in that aggressive manner she had, Colin decided to divert her attention.
“I hear Alhaadi is off camping with the brood,” he said. “Where did they go?”
The ploy worked. Katherine loved to talk about her children, and quite willingly described the “camp” her husband had taken them to, which sounded as far from camping as Colin could imagine. He didn’t need to say much, though, which was a plus.
Hernán was very quiet as well, watching the interactions between Mom, Dad and Katherine while occasionally shooting a puzzled glance toward Colin.
They sat down to dinner in the breakfast room, where the round table certainly seemed more welcoming than the enormous affair in the dining room. It would also be less overwhelming to Hernán. He caught Mom’s eye and mouthed his thanks; she winked at him.
After Mom and Katherine were seated, Colin held a chair for Hernán next to his own. Rosie came in almost immediately with a soup to begin the meal.
Halfway through the fish course, Dad said, “Colin, I meant to tell you. Do you remember Michael Salvio, the head of our government affairs department? Well, he recently moved on to take a position with the U.S Trade Representative. That leaves us with an opening.”
Katherine spoke up, “You’d be good at that, Colin. Even the experience you got at your little charity will help, since you already know your way around Capitol Hill.”
Colin flushed and stared at his Dover sole. “I’m happy with the Immigration Initiative. You know that.”
Mom gave a pretty laugh. “Well, of course you are, darling. But is that really what you see yourself doing with the rest of your life? You’re almost thirty, love. When are you going to be ready to take a real job?”
“He has a real job.”
Colin’s head jerked up, surprised at Hernán’s words and at the edge he heard.
“Colin is influencing Congressional policy on immigration,” Hernán continued. “I was lucky enough to see him in action. He’s very good.”
Dad huffed a pleased noise. “Of course he is. But that’s just it, Son. You have experience and skills that would be very useful to the company. I’d like you to come work with the family, with Katherine and me. You could have even more impact.”
Katherine leaned forward. “Colin, you must know we face regulatory issues at the federal and state level. We’re in a constant battle over premiums, reserves, coverage decisions, protection from frivolous lawsuits. We need someone like you, who knows the players in Congress and how to capitalize on our connections. Imagine lobbying the Senate for litigation reform, for example. Instead of helping a few people at a time, you’d be able to help us save our members tens of millions of dollars.”
Hernán made a noise. When Colin looked at him, he saw flushed cheeks and a glint in his eye. Desperate to avoid a conflict between his boyfriend and his family, he decided to make himself a target.
“I’ll think about the job. But hey, this is crazy. Maryanne and Hernán here suggested I think about running for office.”
Mom sipped her glass of wine. “Can you imagine? You grumbled at all the fundraisers we’ve hosted and attended, all the handshaking and speechmaking.” She shook her head. “You’d hate that lifestyle. Too funny.”
Hernán tilted his head, frowning. “I don’t understand why it’s funny. Maybe I don’t fully appreciate American politics, but Colin seems like exactly the kind of person who should be governing. He’s brilliant, passionate and very knowledgeable. Colin could have a direct impact on the issues he cares about.”
Katherine rolled her eyes at both of them. “Oh Hernán, you must not really know my brother yet. He’d drop out of the race two days in. Colin always gives up on everything when it gets difficult.”
Colin flushed and looked at his plate, cheeks burning. Shut up, shut up, he pleaded silently. Of course he agreed with Katherine, but saying it in front of Hernán stung. The shame flared bright, and he realized it wasn’t a new feeling.
Dad smirked as well. “How many different sports did we try? And musical instruments? Katherine, remember when he wanted to play the tuba?”
Too conscious of Hernán at his side, he panicked over what his lover would think of the growing litany of failures. Shocking himself, he blurted out, “You yanked me from every single thing I ever wanted to do, Dad. How would I know if I could learn to be good at anything?”
Mom protested, “Dear, we never forbade you from trying anything you wanted.”
“Yes, I could try anything once. Then you’d pat my head and tell me it didn’t matter and I should try something else, something I might actually be good at. Gramps was the only one who ever believed in me.”
“Colin Richard Felton,” Mom exclaimed. “You know that isn’t true.”
“Do I? It hasn’t stopped to this day. All this mocking of my job at the Initiative, telling me it’s time to grow up. How is that any different?” Colin jumped up. “Excuse me,” he said, tossing his napkin on the table and hurrying away.
As he left the room, he heard Hernán say to his family, “Colin gives people hope and help and a chance to start over. He saves lives with what he does at the Initiative. Have you ever saved anything more than a dollar?” Then he scraped back his chair and hurried to catch up with Colin, grasping his hand before they reached the hallway together.
Hernán followed Colin through the massive house, his heart pounding with anger. The way the family treated Colin was shameful. He could see the love too, but Jim hung on every word Katherine said while dismissing or belittling Colin. Margaret seemed tolerant of Colin’s life, but distractedly. It was all just subtle enough that he hadn’t wanted to open his mouth and stir a family quarrel about which he might be entirely wrong.
From the look on Colin’s face, he wasn’t wrong.
Colin led them to the second-floor library and closed the door behind them. Hernán sat in one of the wingback chairs as Colin paced.
“I’m sorry you had to see that, Hernán. It normally isn’t that bad. Pushing me to take that job at the company, teasing me about my failures—sure, they do that kind of thing, but tonight…” He stopped in front of a wooden bar cart and poured himself a finger of amber liquor. “Do you want one?” He asked Hernán, who shook his head.
“Colin, I’m sorry I spoke rudely to your family. I owe you and them an apology.”
Colin crossed the room to sit next to Hernán. “You don’t owe anyone an apology.” He took a swallow of his drink, grimaced, and then continued. “Reminds me of the night I got drunk in P-town. Why am I drinking this?”
“Because you’re mad, and it’s there.” Hernán reached across the gap and took the glass from Colin’s loose fingers. He took a sniff and made a face. “I don’t like bourbon either.”
“Am I mad? I guess so.”
“I’m proud you spoke up to them. I guess that isn’t something you do very often.”
“You’re right. I don’t.” Colin sighed. “Usually it’s easier to let them talk, keep the focus on Katherine and off of me. I don’t know why I did speak up, today.” He winced and studied his shoes. “Shit, that’s not true. I didn’t want you to see me through their eyes.”
Hernán slid off his chair and to Colin’s feet. He rested his arms across Colin’s lap. “There’s not a thing they said that could make me think less of you. Or that I believe, actually. They don’t know how much you’ve accomplished, so how could their opinion move me?”
Colin’s eyes on his swirled with emotion. He reached down to run his fingers through Hernán’s hair. Quietly, he said, “I wish I were the man you seem to see. The warrior.”
“You are,” Hernán said firmly, like he would say the sun rose in the East.