CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“I feel like we live here,” I said. I hung my legs over Tyler’s lap and wiggled against the uncomfortable armrest digging into my back.
We sat in the terminal with full suitcases in addition to our backpacks, Christmas gifts from Travis and Abby. It was a brilliant gift idea, because neither Tyler nor I had thought about needing extra space for the gifts we would inevitably receive from his brothers.
“Did you call Fin?” Tyler asked. He said the words like second nature, reminding me at least once a week since Thanksgiving to check in with my sister.
“Before we left the house.”
“They still mad that you didn’t come east for Christmas?”
“I did go east for Christmas.”
“Ellie. When are you going to see them?”
“Don’t start,” I said.
“You can’t avoid them forever.”
“I’m just not ready. I will when I’m ready.”
“That’s the tenth time I’ve heard that in three weeks,” he grumbled.
“Really? I’ve already told you. I like my apartment, and Wick isn’t going to let you move in.”
He nodded, plugging an earbud into the ear farthest from me. I smiled, knowing he wanted to keep the other free in case I had anything more to say. He tapped on his phone display with his thumb, chose a song, and then leaned back, holding my legs on his lap with his free hand.
The attendant at the desk called for anyone needing extra time to board, and then for first-class. That was strangely amusing to me, remembering the days when I would already be standing in line with my family, waiting to occupy one of the first seats—and that was before our private jet.
When she called our group, Tyler stood, grabbing my backpack and his, and his rolling luggage. I pulled up the handle on my suitcase and pulled it behind me, giggling at how weighed down Tyler looked.
“You got it?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, baby, I got it.”
I stopped mid-step, watching him take a few steps before he realized what he’d said and turned back. “What?”
“You just … haven’t said that since at the diner with Sterling.”
“When I kissed your cheek?” He chuckled, lost in the memory.
“Yeah, when I told the waitress you had the clap?”
He frowned. “She still thinks that.”
“Good,” I said, shouldering past him.
We checked our luggage at the gate and then followed the line down the jetway and onto the plane. We were herded like cattle to 20C and 20D, and Tyler struggled to find empty spaces for our backpacks. He resorted to stuffing mine into the overhead bin across and one row back, and then putting his under the seat in front of him. He collapsed into his seat and sighed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I’m tired. You kept me up all night.”
I pressed my nose gently against his cheek, giggling. “You weren’t exactly objecting.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Why would I do something stupid like that?”
“It’s not about flying. You’ve been on edge all morning.”
He thought about what he wanted to say and then sighed. “Just something on my mind.”
“About me?” I asked, sitting up.
“Sort of. Well, yeah, but something I want to talk about later.”
“Well now you have to tell me,” I said.
Passengers were still filing in, struggling to find space for their carry-on luggage. A man a few rows back was swearing under his breath and then barking at the flight attendant.
Tyler looked back, assessing the situation. “It just sucks spending a long weekend with you, and then going home alone to my apartment.”
“You have a roommate.”
He frowned. “He’s never home. He’s always at Falyn’s. Besides, he’s not the roommate I want to come home to.”
I blinked, instantly realizing where the conversation was going. “Is she still coming to the party?”
“She’s supposed to,” he muttered, used to my deflection.
“What?” I said, nudging him. “You don’t like her?”
“They fight a lot.”
“Hmm, I know a couple like that.”
“We don’t fight. Not anymore,” he said. “Not for another few days, anyway.”
“What does that mean?”
“I want you to move in,” Tyler blurted out.
“Where is this coming from? We’re one month in. Baby steps, Maddox.”
He glanced around, trying to keep his voice down. “Maybe I just need a little more commitment.”
I was no longer amused. “What the fuck, Tyler? You’re becoming an overly attached girlfriend. Get a grip.”
“What? It’s not like we just met. Every time I go home, all I see is you. The headboard you made, the decorations … that’s all you.”
“So?”
He spread his knees apart, slumping in his seat. He looked like a pouting child.
“You are being so weird right now I don’t really know how to respond.”
His jaw muscles danced beneath his skin. “I’m not looking forward to this party.”
“Okay…?”
“I’m worried that things will get awkward. And we’re in a fragile place anyway.”
“A fragile place? Who are you? And why would things get awkward?”
The flight attendant began her announcements, going over the safety information and asking passengers to put their electronic devices into airplane mode. Tyler’s mind was spinning, but not about anything to do with the flight.
“The girl I kissed in Colorado Springs?”
“Yeah?” I asked, bracing myself for what he might say.
“It was Falyn,” he said finally. “I kissed Falyn.” He turned to me, desperate. “It’s like what happened with you and Taylor. She thought I was him, I thought she was flirting with me…”
“You kissed Falyn so you’re asking me to move in with you?”
“Yes.”
I shook my head. “You kissed Taylor’s girlfriend?”
“She wasn’t his girlfriend then.”
“I’m so confused. What does that have to do with me moving in?”
“I don’t know, Ellie, I’m freaking the fuck out. I’ve never—” He grabbed my hand and kissed it. “I’m in love with you. You haven’t said it since Thanksgiving. You balk every time I mention moving in. Okay, yeah, I might be a little desperate, but I don’t know what I’d do if you told me to kick rocks.”
“I see.”
Tyler waited for me to say more.
“You’re asking me to move in with you because when I found out about Falyn at the party it would have been easier to keep me from dumping you?” I snapped. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
He winced.
“That’s so … so … romantic,” I growled.
His shoulders sagged. “Do you hate me?”
“Yes, but not because you kissed Falyn.”
He looked down, a little lost. “The last month has been amazing, Ellie. Exactly what I thought it would be. I’ve been sweating New Year’s Eve since I found out she was going to be there.”
“Then maybe you should have told me the whole truth the first time. If you remember, I didn’t care then, either.”
“Yes, you did.”
“Okay, I did, but it wasn’t a deal breaker.”
“You’re right,” he said, angry with himself. “You’re right. It won’t happen again.”
“Kissing Falyn, lying, or asking me to move in with you?”
He turned to me, his eyebrows pulling in to form a deep line between them.
“Wow,” I said. “I think this is the first time you’ve actually been mad at me.”
“It’s not a good feeling,” he said, still frowning.
The plane taxied out to the runway, and within five minutes, the engines pushed us forward, racing down the asphalt and then into the air.
Tyler slid his hand over mine, resting back against the headrest. “I didn’t realize how scary this would be,” he whispered.
“I told you,” I said.
His eyes popped open, and he turned to face me. Even with circles under his eyes and yesterday’s scruff on his face, he was ridiculously beautiful.
“And I said it’d be worth it.” He squeezed my hand. “And it is.”
I grinned. “Just because I don’t say it doesn’t mean I don’t.”
“That you love me? Why is that so hard for you?”
I shrugged. “Your family says it a lot. Mine doesn’t. It just doesn’t feel natural to say. But I do. Love you.” I had to force out the words, but not the feeling behind them.
He kissed my forehead, and then I leaned over, snuggling against his arm and hugging him to me. He rested his cheek on my head, his breathing evened out, and he slept until the flight attendant began her final announcement.
“Ladies and gentlemen, as we start our descent, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position. Make sure your seat belt is securely fastened and all carry-on luggage is stowed underneath the seat in front of you or in the overhead bins. Thank you.”
Tyler stirred, rubbing his eyes. “Wow. How long was I out?”
“Well, we’re landing, so a little over two hours.”
“Holy fuck. I must have been more tired than I thought.”
I stretched my neck and leaned in to kiss his cheek, then settled back as we began our descent. The Denver airport was busy and chaotic as usual, but we navigated our new roller luggage through the terminal, to the tram, and finally to level five toward the exit.
Tyler slowed just as we passed through baggage claim, recognizing the couple waving to us before I did.
“Isn’t that…?”
“Oh, fuck,” I said as my stomach sank.
Finley pulled her newest sunglasses from her face and walked quickly to me in six-inch Louboutin heels, her arms outstretched.
She threw her arms around me, and I looked to Tyler in a panic.
“Finley,” he said, opening his arms to her. “Good to see you.”
“You too, but I’m hugging my sister for the first time in almost a year,” she said, continuing to squeeze the life out of me. “You can wait.”
“Fin,” I said, trying to keep the contempt from my voice. “What a surprise.”
“I know,” she said, finally releasing me. She wiped her cheek. “I didn’t warn you. But I knew you’d say not to come. It’s been ten months, Ellie. I couldn’t give you one more day of space. You’re my sister.”
“I’ve been calling you like you asked.”
“I know,” she said, glancing at Marco. “But it’s not enough. You’re my best friend.” Her eyes danced between Tyler and me. “What? What aren’t you telling me?”
Tyler looked at me, and my mind raced for a believable lie.
“We’re uh … we’re moving in together,” I said.
Finley and Tyler shot me identical expressions.
“We were going to try to move my things before the New Year. It’s just a really bad time for our first visit.”
“Oh,” Finley said. She looked a bit lost, and then a grin spread across her face. “Well, congratulations, you two!” She hugged both of us, and Tyler choked when Finley squeezed his neck into her shoulder. “That is so exciting. Our parents can’t wait to meet you,” she said, pointing at him with her glasses. “They’d love to see your new place. I would love to see your new place!” She clasped her hands together. “In Estes?”
Tyler looked at me with his mouth hanging open, unsure how to respond.
“Yes, it’s in Estes Park,” I said. “He has an apartment across town from mine.”
“Can we go now?” Finley asked.
“Fin…”
“I just came to Colorado to see you. I literally have nothing else going on.”
“…great. That’s great,” I said with wide eyes and a forced smile. I looked to Tyler. “Um … uh … honey, I guess they can follow us to my apartment? You can just drop me off. I know you have a lot of things to do.”
He mouthed honey with a disgusted look on his face behind Finley. I shot him an expectant smile that surely made me look like a lunatic.
“Sure … honey,” he said. “Are you familiar with this area?” he asked Marco.
“I have navigation,” he said with a proud smile.
“We’ll meet you off Peña Boulevard at the Avis rental place, then you can follow us from there.”
“Are you guys hungry?” Finley asked. “You must be.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head quickly. “Not really.”
“Oh. Okay, then … we’ll meet you at Avis in ten minutes.”
“Perfect,” I said, smiling at them until they walked out the door.
Tyler and I didn’t speak until we made it to the truck and he slid into the driver seat and shut the door.
“This is awful!” I cried.
“This is fucking great!” he said with a wide smile.
I glared at him. “They’re coming to my apartment. I’m stuck with Fin for an entire evening. She’ll find out about Sterling by dinnertime. I’m fucked.”
Tyler wrinkled his nose. “I don’t understand your strategy, Ellie. You haven’t seen your sister in almost a year to avoid her finding out something that may or may not make her never want to see you again.”
“Exactly.”
“If you never see her again, what does it matter?”
“At least she won’t hate me.”
Tyler drove us to Avis, and I waved at Finley from behind the passenger side window of the truck. They followed us north on the toll road toward Estes Park.
I sighed for the fourth time in ten minutes.
“Ellie…” Tyler began.
“I have less than an hour and a half to figure this out. What are you doing?” I screeched.
“What?” he cried.
“You’re speeding! I need time to think of a way to keep her out of my apartment!”
Tyler eased back on the accelerator, looking annoyed. “What if you tell her it’s being fumigated?”
“Then she’ll go to your apartment.”
“So?”
“She’ll expect me to come, too.”
“Okay, then you get car sick on the way to Estes.”
“I like it, but it’s a temporary fix to a permanent problem.”
Tyler sighed. “Maybe … maybe you should just tell her.”
“Are you out of your mind? Do you want Finley to hate me?”
“If it were me—” He hesitated. “I would be more upset that you kept it from me. She’ll get over it if you’re honest with her.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “You don’t know Fin like I do. She holds grudges, and Sterling …”
“Is a whiney little cunt nugget.”
I closed my eyes. “Don’t say that to her.”
When we pulled into the parking lot of the MountainEar, my heart began to pound in my chest, and my palms were slick with sweat.
“You’re sure you don’t want me to come in?”
“Just long enough to follow me into the bathroom and…”
Marco knocked on Tyler’s window. He looked at me and then pressed the button, waiting until it rolled all the way down.
“Hey, Ellie’s not feeling great. I think she’s a little car sick.”
“My sister doesn’t get car sick,” Finley said from behind Marco. “Why are we at her work? I thought we were going to her apartment?”
“This is her apartment,” Tyler said. “Above the office.”
Finley smiled. “Fantastic. Let’s go.”
Marco pulled an extra-large roller suitcase with several duffels and bags stacked on top down the sidewalk.
I scrambled from the truck. “What are you doing?”
“Oh,” Finley said. “Do you need assistance with your luggage?”
“No. It’s a one-bedroom apartment. Why aren’t you staying at the house?”
Finley seemed annoyed. “Because our parents are there, and they don’t know I’m here. If they knew, they would be at your door because they are desperate to see you, too.”
Finley turned on her heels, waiting for me at the door with Marco.
I chewed on my thumbnail, gazing up at Tyler who was still in the driver seat. “It’s times like these I regret not being religious.”
“Should I come?” he asked. “At least let me help with your bags.”
I shook my head, defeated. “I don’t want you to see this.”
With worry in his eyes, Tyler waved to me, waiting until I reached the door before he backed away.
I led Finley and Marco upstairs, directing Marco to the sofa and Finley to my bedroom.
“This is gorgeous! I was worried what you would be able to afford on your wages, but this is exquisite! Well done, baby sister!”
“Well,” I said, watching her unpack as if she had lit herself on fire, “my boss gave me a great deal.”
“What is Tyler’s apartment like? Is it this nice?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “But it’s decent.”
“Then why not just move him here? And why haven’t you started packing yet?”
“We just decided over Christmas.”
“Thank God I’m here,” Finley said. “Marco can help you pack.”
“I’m really … I’m okay. Tyler will be over later. We were kind of going to do it together.”
“Don’t be silly….” Finley began, but she finally looked at me long enough to see what I knew she would. “What aren’t you telling me? Oh my hell, Ellie! Are you pregnant?” she screeched.
“What? No! I can barely take care of myself.” I left her for the kitchen, yanking open the fridge and popping the top of my favorite cheap beer.
“Ew, what the fuck is that?” Finley asked.
“Beer,” I said, holding up the can. “Want some?” I asked, some of it still in my mouth.
“No. You’ve developed some atrocious habits Mother will definitely not be impressed with.”
“Well, I don’t plan on seeing her, so I’m good.”
“Ellie,” Finley began.
“I told them. They’re dead to me.”
“That’s harsh. They were only trying to help you.”
I finished the can and opened another.
Finley’s nose flared. “I can see it worked.”
I gripped the top of the open refrigerator door with one hand and held on to my can for dear life with the other. “Fin. I love you, but you can’t stay here. Find a hotel, go to the house, but I need you to go.”
Finley stared at me, stunned at first, and then heartbroken. “How did this happen? How did we grow so far apart? I feel like I’m standing in front of a stranger.”
“We can talk tomorrow, but I need to do this in small doses. At least at first. I have to start packing. I have a lot to do, and it’s not fair for you to just drop into my life right now.”
She nodded, gesturing to Marco. He packed up his things, and then rushed into my room to do the same for the few items she had unpacked on her own.
The wheels banged down each step as Marco pulled the rolling luggage down the stairs to the car. I hugged my sister, and she held on an extra second before turning for the door.
Once she grabbed the knob, she glanced back at me over her shoulder. “There’s something else. You’re trying to protect me from something. Don’t think I don’t see it.”
I closed my eyes. “Please leave, Fin.”
She bit her lip, and then disappeared behind the door.