IT’S BARELY PAST SEVEN A.M. and I’ve already been awake for almost an hour, unable to force myself to sleep any longer.
Hell . . . I don’t think I slept more than two hours due to Alexandra consuming my thoughts last night. I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be to keep my ass on the couch and not jump into my bed with her.
“Shit. This is going to be a rough day.”
Grabbing the remote, I turn the TV to one of Alexandra’s favorite channels before making my way to the bathroom to shower and clear my head.
It’s not working, because I’m standing here under the steaming hot water, unable to keep my damn cock down. All I can think about is how good it felt to be inside Lex, making her scream for me that night.
There’s so many other things I could’ve done for her; other ways I could’ve pleased her unlike any other man has before, but I didn’t because I didn’t know it was her.
“Shit!” I slap the wall and bow my head, allowing the hot water to run down my tense muscles, hoping to relax and get through this shower without storming out of here naked to show her all the things I didn’t that night.
I need to stop picturing all the ways I could fuck her again and focus on the shit I can do to get her to open up to me and let me back in, instead. That’s what’s most important, but it doesn’t mean fucking her again wouldn’t help to get her where I want her.
But that shit ain’t happening right now since she’s sleeping, and I need to take care of my dick before I lay eyes on her again. If I walk into the bedroom with my dick hard and throbbing I can’t promise it won’t end up between her legs.
Grabbing my length, I run my hand over it and growl out, imagining it were her tight little pussy.
Images of her naked body on top of mine, her screaming above me, has me busting my load in the shower quicker than normal.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
I place my hands against the wall and focus on steadying my breathing for a few moments, before I finish showering and make my way to the laundry room to find some clean clothes.
After throwing on a pair of old jeans and a black t-shirt, I quietly push the bedroom door open and peek in at Alexandra to see if she’s awake yet. The sight of her sound asleep in my bed has my chest aching with the need to crawl in beside her and hold her in my arms.
It’s insane how quickly my thoughts of her can change from sexual to emotional, but that’s what she does to me.
Steeling my jaw, I close the door and walk away before I change my mind and end up in bed with her. What I need to do is take this time that she’s asleep and take care of someone else important to me.
I just hope like hell that I can get back before she wakes up and decides to take off without a trace. I don’t intend to keep her a prisoner at my place, though, so if she does wake up and see that the TV is on for her, hopefully it will be enough to comfort her so she stays and waits for me.
Gathering my thoughts and preparing for what I have to go do, I slip on my leather jacket, before grabbing my backpack and the keys to my bike. I quietly make my way out the front door, locking it behind me.
Less than an hour later I’m sitting out front of my mother’s place staring at the big brown house I pay rent for. It’s nice and comfortable in a safe neighborhood; completely the opposite of where I live and where I grew up at. I didn’t care about the cost when I found this place, I just wanted her to stay clean and away from temptation, but she ended up turning this place into a shithole with her constant partying.
I quickly run my hands over my face, before grabbing the strap of my backpack and letting myself into the house.
The disaster I see when walking inside is nothing outside the norm, but it still has anger coursing through me, hating that this is who she chooses to be.
My mother is still passed out on the couch where Blaine left her and the place is littered with dirty dishes, clothes, beer bottles, and whatever the hell else you can think of.
It’s a pigsty and smells of spoiled food and beer.
I’m going to have to pull up this carpet and replace it with hardwood floors, because I’m tired as shit of scrubbing and shampooing them just for her to ruin them repeatedly.
I walk to the kitchen and throw my backpack on the counter, before going to check on my mother to make sure she’s still breathing. Thankfully, it looks like Blaine made sure she was left on her side so she wouldn’t choke on her own vomit again.
Crouching down in front of her, I place my hand to her forehead and look down at her. She’s warm and I can hear her breathing, so I leave her be to sleep her night off.
After putting away the groceries, I spend the next hour or so cleaning up her mess and doing a quick load of laundry. As long as the clothes make it to the dryer she’ll be good to go for a few days. That’s part of the responsibility of taking care of her, because she sure as hell doesn’t care if she has clean clothes or not.
Once I’m done, I take a seat in the chair beside the couch and sit here for a while, wishing like hell I’d been enough to save my mother from herself.
I’ve done everything over the years for her, including sending her to rehab, but her depression always gets the best of her. I used to think that spending more time with her would do the trick, and it did for a while, but eventually that wasn’t even enough.
I turn away from my mom and reach for my phone when it vibrates in my pocket.
It’s a message from Mark asking if I want to meet him for breakfast, so I grab a glass of water for my mother and set it down on the coffee table before giving her a kiss on the forehead and heading out.
It’s still early, so I figure I can get a quick bite with Mark and bring Alexandra something for when she wakes up.
When I show up at the diner, Mark’s squad car is already parked out front, so I hurry inside to find him in his usual booth.
“You look like hell, Man,” Mark says when I take the seat across from him. “Couldn’t sleep?”
I nod and thank the waitress as she pours some coffee into a mug for me. “Nah. I didn’t sleep for shit. I’ve had too much going on.”
He reaches for a menu and slides it across to me. “I heard. Went by to see Avalon and Royal the other day and he filled me in. That’s some crazy shit.” He runs a hand through his dark blonde hair and exhales. “It’s been thirteen years since you’ve seen her?”
I close the menu and place my order when the waitress comes back, before answering Mark’s question. “The last time I saw her she was a scared thirteen-year-old girl taking hits from a belt by her piece of shit father. I never saw her again after that night.”
“Well, shit . . .” He looks pissed now as he looks at me from across the table. “I would’ve wanted to kill that son of a bitch and probably would’ve tried too.”
“I did,” I say on a growl. “I was too young and weak to do anything to stop him. He ended up breaking my arm and leaving me on the side of the road somewhere. I can’t even remember how I found my way home that night.”
“And how is she now?” Mark questions.
“I can’t tell yet. She keeps pushing me away and running from me. I don’t get it.”
We’re quiet for a few minutes as we eat, but I can tell Mark wants to question me further on the situation. He’s handled a lot of child abuse cases in his time being a police officer and I’ve never seen him want to kill anyone more than when he receives one of those calls.
“Don’t let her get away,” he finally says. “No matter how far she tries to run, she needs you. Everyone needs someone and it sounds like she’s dealt with a lot of bad shit.”
I look up, my jaw tense as I take his words in.
“I never planned on giving up. I didn’t back then and I won’t now.” I stand up and throw some money on the table to cover breakfast. “Thanks for the talk, Man, and for taking care of things last night. I should get back before she wakes up.”
“Not a problem.” He nods and gathers his wallet and keys to stand. “I’ve got a long day ahead of me, but call me if you need anything. I mean it.”
I give his shoulder a slap and reach for the bag of food when the waitress drops it off. “Thanks, brother.”
I’ve got some figuring out to do when it comes to Alexandra and I’ll fight tooth and nail for her. That hasn’t changed.
The moment I pull up in the driveway, I notice my truck is no longer parked where I left it.
“What the fuck?” It only takes me a few seconds to realize she must’ve taken off in my truck to get home.
As angry as I am that she took off on me without saying goodbye, there’s a part of me that is happy she took my truck. I’ll take that as a sign she doesn’t plan on hiding from me this time.
“Well shit . . .” I run my hand over my beard and look around as if there’s a chance I’ll see my truck parked somewhere else. But apparently, she’s still gone.
After putting the food in the fridge, I put my energy into unpacking and organizing stuff the best I can without really giving a shit what anything looks like right now.
It’s hard to function when the only thing I can think about is Alexandra and when I’ll see her again. If it’s up to her, it could be days or even weeks. I don’t know what she’s thinking right now and I don’t know what she was thinking when she left this morning in my truck.
She’s not easy to figure out like when we were kids and that scares the hell out of me. Back then, I always knew she’d come back to me the first chance she got.
Things have changed.
She has one day. One fucking day. And if she doesn’t come to me, I’m hunting her down and giving her no other choice but to let me back in.
I’m not easy to get away from. Not when the only thing I want in this world is her, and she’s about to learn that real soon . . .