EVEN THOUGH AVALON AND MADISON have been doing a great job to make me feel welcome here, I couldn’t help the disappointment I felt when Jax left earlier. I thought I’d be okay spending the day without him, but the moment he walked out the door, my chest tightened and the air became thicker.
I could barely make out what Avalon was saying to me for the first five minutes after he left, because all I could think about was how much I missed him and wanted him to come back.
I wanted that safety and comfort that he brings.
I know it sounds crazy. I’ve never been the type of person to miss anyone except for when it comes to Jax. He’s always been the one person I miss the second he walks away and he still has that effect on me.
After spending the night in his arms, I want him more than ever, but there’s that part of me that is still terrified of letting him back in completely, in fear of hurting him.
But the truth is, I’m not thinking about escaping right now or ways I can get my hands on drugs. I don’t need something to numb my mind to make it through the day. I’m thinking about being in Jax’s strong arms, snuggled up against him, and for the first time in a while I feel somewhat normal.
It makes me wonder if I can have a life like this. A life where I can breathe easily without the horror of my past weighing me down.
I don’t have that answer, but I’m hoping with time that I do. All I can do is take it one day at a time.
“Oh, wow.” Avalon grins and walks around Madison, checking out the aqua-blue-ombre job I did on her hair. I just got done blow-drying it. I have to admit that it does look pretty impressive. “This looks amazing, Lex. I owe Jax for bringing you to us. You’re exactly what we need and you’re going to fit in perfectly.”
Checking out the pretty colors, I spin Madison’s chair around so she can see how it turned out. She’s been sitting there impatiently and honestly, it has me on edge to see what she thinks.
“Holy shit!” Madison squeals and runs her hands through her new hair in excitement. “Please never leave me, sweets. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m in love with a woman. Wonder if Jax would mind if I keep you.”
Her excitement has me smiling, and I have to admit that I feel pretty damn good about myself for the first time in a long time. I feel like I’ve accomplished something and even though I’m missing Jax like crazy, I’m enjoying being here with the girls.
Conversation has been easy since the moment I stepped into the salon and I can see myself working here and actually being happy. I was never happy at previous jobs and all that did was make me want to get out of my head more.
My heart swells at the idea of having a new start.
“I’m sure Jax wouldn’t mind,” I joke, tossing my gloves into the small trash. “I’m not easy to handle.”
“Oh, he definitely would mind,” Madison says, still looking in the mirror. “That’s why he’s been sitting out in the parking lot for the last two hours watching you.”
Butterflies fill my stomach when I look toward the window to see Jax sitting on the tailgate of his truck, his arms crossed over his chest.
He smiles at me and that little gesture sends my heart into overdrive and warms my body.
I was so busy making sure I didn’t mess up on Madison’s hair that I didn’t even notice his truck pull into the parking lot.
He came back and waited for me?
I try to smother my smile as I turn away to look at Avalon, but it’s impossible to hide what I’m feeling at the moment.
“Doesn’t look like Jax wants to share you with anyone,” Avalon adds with a smile. “We should let you go for today and tomorrow can be your first official day. I’ll put out word on social media that we have a colorist and will be taking appointments starting tomorrow. Are you ready for that?” she asks with hope.
I nod and turn my gaze back to Jax, watching as he jumps down to his feet and lights up a cigarette. Even the way he does that gets me excited. Is there anything that man does that isn’t completely hot? I’m not used to this feeling with him. Back when we were around each other before we were just kids. “Yeah. I think I’m ready.”
“Perfect.” Avalon laughs and pulls me in for a hug. “You’re a lifesaver, babe. I’m so excited to have you join the Savage family. Don’t forget to bring everything you need tomorrow so we can get you in the system as an official employee.”
Keeping my eyes on Jax as he takes a drag off his cigarette and slowly blows the smoke out, I smile and nod, feeling bad that I can’t give Avalon my full attention. “Thank you.”
“See you tomorrow, sweets.” Madison jumps from the chair and gives me a quick hug and a kiss on the lips, surprising me. “I love you.”
“Madi,” Avalon says on a laugh. “Don’t scare her off before she even starts. You’re letting your crazy show too damn soon.”
“What?” Madison shrugs and winks at me. “I do. I love her. She’s amazing and Jax can kiss my ass if he doesn’t want to share, because I’m making him.”
“It takes a lot to scare me off, trust me. I’m excited to start tomorrow.” I’m in the middle of cleaning up my mess when the bell above the door dings, letting us know Jax has joined us inside.
I turn around and the sight of Jax standing just inches from me heats me to my core. Those eyes. And the way he uses them is like magic. I’m instantly under his spell, ready to fall right back into his arms.
“Fuck, call me crazy, but I missed the hell out of you.” He smirks and grabs my hips, pulling me to him. “I was wondering when you’d realize I was here.”
Before I can speak, he slides his hand around and grabs the back of my head pulling me in for a kiss that stops my heart mid-beat.
I spent years wondering what kind of man Jax had become and what it would feel like to have his hands and mouth on me. It feels way too good to keep fighting it. I want him touching me. I want to touch him.
“I think I owe you,” I whisper when he breaks the kiss.
“For what,” he smiles and speaks against my lips, “being an amazing kisser?” His smile widens as Madison and Avalon start whistling. “Haven’t you girls ever heard of privacy?”
“Not when it’s in my shop,” Avalon says playfully. “Where do you expect us to look?”
“I don’t know . . .” He kisses me one more time before backing away and grabbing my hand. “The wall.”
“And miss such a rare display of affection from Jax Kade?” Madison says, plopping down onto the chair at her station again. “I don’t think so. I might’ve taken a picture for proof.”
“What time do you want me here tomorrow?” I ask, trying to keep my composure from hearing it’s rare for Jax to show affection to a woman. I don’t want anyone to see how happy that truly makes me.
“Ten works. Would you be okay with working until five?”
I smile at Avalon, loving the idea of a ten to five job. “Works for me.”
The bell dings again and two girls walk inside, immediately walking over to admire Madison’s hair. I overhear her telling them I’m starting tomorrow and joy fills me when I see their excitement.
“Let’s get you out of here before the girls decide to keep you,” Jax whispers in my ear, before guiding me to the door. “Later, ladies,” Jax calls before hurrying me outside.
“Have you really been here for two hours?” I question once we get to his truck.
He shrugs, before pulling me against him and running his hand through my hair. “Maybe longer. I liked watching you work and didn’t want to leave.”
Smiling, I grab his beard and pull him to me. “You really are the same Jax I remember, aren’t you?”
“When it comes to you, yes,” he says across my lips. “I’ll always be that Jax for you.”
I swallow, emotions overwhelming me as I look into his sincere eyes. “You’re so beautiful, Jax. You always have been. I don’t deserve you.”
“That’s a fucking lie, Lex.” He moves his hand down to grab mine, lacing our fingers together. “You’re the only one who deserves me. We were meant for each other. I’ve always known that. That’s why it’s been so damn hard to breathe without you all these years.”
I can hardly catch my breath as I look up at him. I love Jax so damn much that it hurts. It physically hurts, and it scares the shit out of me that his heart is in my hands.
But at the moment I need to kiss him. To taste him.
So I do.
Before he can say anything else to steal my breath away, I grab his neck and kiss him long and hard, showing him without words how much I need him.
His tongue flicks out, swiping across my lips so I open for him, allowing him to claim me. His taste is intoxicating, making me dizzy off his mouth.
I’m so lost in kissing him that I don’t even realize I’m attempting to strip him until he laughs against my lips. “Are you going to jump me right here in the parking lot? Not saying I’d mind.”
I shake my head and laugh. “Are the girls watching?”
He smiles and nods. “All four. But, ya know what? Fuck it.” Lifting a brow, he backs me against the truck, blocking me in with his body. “Better than having Blaine watch us.”
“Are you sure about that?” I love to rile him up.
He growls and opens the truck door. “Get in.”
I cross my arms and stand firm. “Or what? Are you going to throw me inside again?”
“No.” He presses his hips into me, causing me to moan as his hard cock digs into my skin. “I’m going to fuck you right here in the parking lot and give everyone a show.”
Jax has no idea how much I love this side of him. The rough, savage side that took me home that night and fucked me hard against his door. I want him just the way he is.
“Fine.” I push him away and hop into the truck, watching with a smirk as he hurries to other side to jump in himself.
He barely sits down and shuts his door before he’s starting the truck and peeling out of the parking lot in a hurry to get me alone.
The bulge in his jeans has me reaching over and undoing his pants, just as in a hurry to get to him as he is to me.
He bites his bottom lip and grips the steering wheel when I pull his thick, hard dick out and begin stroking it with both hands. “Keep this up and we won’t make it back to my place.”
I unbuckle my seatbelt and move across the seat to get closer to him. He looks down at me, a small growl leaving his lips when I wrap mine around his cock.
“Holy fuck.” He palms my head, gentle at first, but wraps his fist in my hair and tugs when I pick up speed, taking him deep into my mouth. Which isn’t far because of his size. “Lex . . .”
I work my way back up to the head, swirling my tongue around it, getting a taste of his pre-cum. His salty taste has me moaning around his dick, before taking it back in as deep as it will fit, wanting all of him.
“I’m about to pull over right here if you keep using your damn mouth that way."
I’m curious to see how serious he is, so I suck harder, using my tongue in ways I never even knew I could. But when it comes to pleasing and teasing Jax I’m willing to learn new things.
“Fucking shit!” I hear the leather on the steering wheel stretch as he fists it tighter with the hand that’s not wrapped in my hair. “Get in my lap.”
His demand has heat flooding through my body and my pussy pulsing with need. The fact that he can’t even wait ten minutes to get me alone has my heart pounding with excitement.
He pulls into an alley and parks, growling over at me as he kills the engine. “I need you on my dick, riding me. Now, Lex.”
Breathing heavily, I keep my eyes locked on his as I strip off my jeans and straddle his lap, pulling my panties to the side.
The second his cock lines up with my entrance, he grabs my hair and pulls me down, burying himself deep inside me, stretching me to his size.
I moan into the air as he groans into my neck, holding me still for a moment.
“Holy fuck, baby. I can’t be gentle this time.”
“Don’t,” I demand, grabbing his hair to yank his head back. “I don’t want the old Jax right now—the one you think you still need to be for me. I want you. Right here, right now, just as you are. Savage and wild,” I breathe.
His jaw steels and he examines my face, as if trying to decide if I meant what I said.
“Fuck me, Jax.”
Moments later, his hold on my hair tightens and he pulls me down to meet his warm mouth. “Dig your nails into my flesh if it hurts. Rip me apart, because I won’t be able to stop once I start.”
I smirk, flicking my tongue out to run it up his lips, making my way around to whisper in his ear. “I never want you to.”
He growls into the air and grabs my hips with both hands. “Fuck. You’re not going to be able to walk into the house after this.”
His fingers dig into my hips as he lifts me up, before slamming into me so hard I feel like he’s splitting me in two.
I scream out and grab onto the leather seat, fighting to catch my breath. “Don’t stop,” I whisper.
“Fuck!” he screams into the air. “Hold on, babe.”
I do as he says, digging my fingers into the leather as he fucks me deep and hard, owning my pussy in a way no other man has before or no other man ever will.
No one can fuck me like Jax.
No one can make me feel the way Jax can.
Jaxon Kade is the only man for me, and I know without a doubt, now that I have him back, I’ll never let him go without a fight.
I will fight for him. For this. For us.
He pushes into me one last time, causing me to grab his shoulder and dig my nails in as I scream out his name through my orgasm.
Seconds later, he’s filling me with his cum and we’re both exhausted, fighting to catch our breath.
“Are you okay?” he whispers, moving his hands up to cup my face. “Did I hurt you?”
I nod. “Just a little,” I admit. “But in a good way. So, so good.”
He smiles in relief and rests his forehead to mine. “I’m calling in tonight. Blaine can handle the bar by himself. I’m not letting you out of my sight. I can’t. Not yet.”
I smile and lean in to kiss him. “Good,” I say against his mouth. “Because I don’t want you to.”
With the way I’m feeling right now, right here in this moment, I’m not willing to let him out of my sight either.
I want to spend the night with him. No fighting or running away. Tonight, I want to be his.