I TRIED TO LEAVE; TRIED convincing myself to go home and forget about the way this stranger is making me feel, but I turned my car around anyway and came back.
There’s something about him that reminds me of Jaxon Kade and I can’t let that go. It has me drawn to him in a way I can’t seem to fight, even though I want nothing more than to keep my distance.
It’s what I should do. What I should’ve done since the moment I saw him pull up next to me on his bike the other night.
But then he went out of his way to look after me, and for as long as I’ve been alive, there’s only one person who cared about me enough to do that.
Jaxon’s hair was a lot lighter–almost blond–so it’s not that I believe it could be him. It’s more that a part of me wonders if he could make me feel the way Jaxon did.
Even just a small portion.
And apparently, that’s something I crave, because here I am.
I’m looking down at the ground, but my heart about leaps out of my chest at the sound of the heavy door opening and closing.
Swallowing nervously, I look up and my heart stops when I see him watching me with an intensity that is making it hard to breathe.
He’s so damn powerful—dangerous and edgy looking.
I expect him to yell at me for being on his bike, but he doesn’t.
“I thought you left?” He leans against the building and kicks his foot back, while reaching for a joint. “What’re you still doing here?”
Being sure not to scratch his new bike, I climb off and walk over to stand next to him. “I did leave.” I reach over and grab the joint from between his lips, before he has a chance to take a hit. “I decided I wasn’t ready to go home yet. There’s nothing there for me.”
“Good.” He kicks away from the building and begins walking toward his bike. “Let’s go then, since you seem so set on being on my bike anyway.”
Watching him reach for his helmet, I take a few quick hits and join him at his side.
He looks at me and his jaw flexes a few times, before he steps in close and slides the helmet over my head. “Toss that shit and hop on. I have more.”
He straddles his bike and reaches his hand out for me. He’s so sexy—the way he’s looking at me—that my body trembles as I grab his hand and jump on behind him.
He takes off and I don’t even bother asking where we’re going, because I really don’t care. What I want is to get away and it seems like he might want the same thing.
We ride for a while, taking some back roads, before he finally pulls into a neighborhood and parks in the driveway of a brickhouse.
From what I can tell it doesn’t seem to be too far from the bar he works at. In fact, I’m pretty sure I passed this street on the way there from my place.
He doesn’t say anything as he helps me off his bike and slides the helmet from my head.
“Is this your place?” I follow him to the porch.
“Yeah.” He unlocks the door, before turning back around to face me. “If you want me to serve you drinks all night, we might as well do it at a place I know you’ll be safe and I won’t have to kick some big fucker’s ass.”
“Oh yeah?” I laugh and look him over. I still can’t get over how sexy he is in that leather jacket. “How am I supposed to know I’ll be safe from you?”
A small smirk crosses his face as he places his hand on my lower back and guides me inside. “Do you really want to be safe from me?” he asks beside my ear. “Because I couldn’t tell back at the bar. I think it’s my safety I should be concerned about.”
I don’t answer his question, because truthfully, I don’t know myself. My entire body ignites into flames whenever I think about him fucking me.
A man like him couldn’t possibly be anything other than wild and rough in the bedroom.
I look around at the boxes stacked around the living room before I take a seat on the couch. “How long have you been here?”
“Not long.” He disappears into the kitchen and comes back a few minutes later with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. “I haven’t had much time to unpack, as you can see.”
“You’re not worried about having some strange woman in your new house?” I lift a brow and wait for his response.
“Not one that I can take. No . . .”
“Who says you can take me? I could very well be a psycho killer just waiting for you to show me a bit of weakness before I strike. You never know.”
He shrugs and takes a seat next to me on the couch, before filling up the two glasses and handing one to me. “True, but I’ll take my chances with you.” His jaw tightens as he looks me over. “Are you going to tell me your name or should I just call you hot psycho?”
The way he’s looking at me causes me to laugh. “I’m good with that name.”
“All right . . .” he sets his glass down and tops it off with more whiskey. “I suppose you don’t want to know my name so you can keep calling me bossy bartender?”
Without thinking, I lean in closer and speak against his lips. “You’re correct. I like not knowing your name. The mystery makes it exciting.”
I get ready to back away, but he grabs the back of my head, holding me in place. “So, you like things to go by your rules? Is that how I have to play with you?”
His breath hitting my lips has me swallowing before I speak. “I’d prefer it that way, yes.”
He nods and leans in so close that his lips brush over mine. “What if I don’t play by rules very well?”
Before I can even register what he’s doing, he empties his glass, and once he slams it down on the table I’m being pulled into his lap.
Excitement courses through me as his strong hands grip my ass and squeeze, while he slips his tongue between my lips, as if he owns me.
The smell of his cologne and the taste of his tongue has me moaning into his mouth and reaching out to tug on his long hair.
“Who said you could kiss me?” I question against his lips, before biting him.
The animalistic growl that comes from the back of his throat tells me he likes it just as rough as I do.
He reaches one hand up and tangles it in my hair, before he yanks my head back and brushes his lips up my neck, stopping at my lips. “You didn’t ask permission to sit on my bike. What makes you think I’d ask permission to take what I want? I’m a man that takes it.”
I release a needy breath and close my eyes as he grinds his erection between my legs and growls again.
“And from what I can tell . . .” He slides his hand in between our bodies and removes a pistol from his jeans. I didn’t even know he was carrying it, yet it somehow only manages to turn me on more. “You like that I didn’t ask permission. And you also like that you feel safe around me because you know I won’t let some asshole fuck with you without answering to me.”
“Maybe . . .” I reach between our bodies and grip his dick through his jeans. It’s so damn big and hard and knowing it’s because of me has me all hot and ready to ride it hard. “All I know is I’m drawn to you and I need you to fuck some sense into me.” I swallow and lower my gaze to his lips, while removing his leather jacket. I need him to remind me he’s nothing like the person I lost so many years ago, because Jaxon would never be rough with me.
“That’s what you want?” He bites my bottom lip, causing me to dig my nails into his arm because it hurts. “For me to be rough with you . . . because my version of rough is on a whole different level than what you’re probably used to, love.”
My eyes must say all he needs to know, because he reaches up with both hands and rips the front of my shirt open, before unsnapping my bra and pulling it out of his way.
A surprised gasp leaves my lips as he reaches behind me for the bottle of whiskey and pours it over the top of my breasts, before he leans in to lick it off.
The feel of his tongue as he swirls it around my nipple, then bites it, has me grinding in his lap, needing to feel him against me.
This must work him up more, because he lifts me up and throws me down onto the couch, his jaw steeled as he hovers above me and works to undo my pants.
Without hesitation, he yanks them down my legs, along with my panties, before he tosses them aside and reaches for the bottle of whiskey again.
I squirm and bite my bottom lip as he pours a little of it down my inner thigh, before spreading my legs apart and running his tongue over the liquid.
It’s when his tongue moves its way to my needy pussy that I let out a little moan and dig my nails into the couch cushion.
“Holy shit . . .” I thrust my hips toward his face and move my hands up to grip his hair. “Keep going . . . keep . . .”
Just when I’m on the verge of an orgasm, he slips two fingers inside me and finger fucks me so hard that I crawl up the back of the couch and scream out my release.
My heart is beating so fast as I watch him yank his shirt off and reach for his belt buckle that it’s actually causing me to lose my breath.
He keeps his intense gaze on me as he tilts back the bottle of whiskey and then leans in to pour some into my mouth, licking off the excess liquid as it runs down my neck.
“Fuck, I could lick whiskey from your body all night.”
I reach for his jeans and yank them down, my eyes widening as his hard dick springs free. “And with a dick like yours . . .” Wrapping my hand around it’s long length, I yank him to me by it. “I’d let you lick anything you want from my body as long as you can keep up with me.”
With a deep growl, he grabs me by my ass and picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. He takes me through the house and begins digging through his bathroom drawer for a condom and opens it.
Next thing I know he’s slamming me against a wooden door in the hallway and biting my neck as he slides it over his erection before slamming into me with one hard thrust.
I scream out and grip his hair, pulling it hard as he moans against my neck. “Pull it harder and I’ll fuck you harder.”
I want it harder, so I do just that. I yank his hair so hard that his head tilts back and he releases an angry growl into the air.
With force, he grabs my free wrist and slams it above my head, before he begins fucking me up the door so hard I’m pretty sure I just felt it crack.
A man who fucks like this is going to go through a lot of doors if they’re all as cheap as this one.
Holy hell how that turns me on like nothing else.
With every hard thrust he growls into my ear, the vibration sends chills down to my core.
I’ve never heard a sexier noise in my life, and I can’t help but to pull his hair harder, wanting more of it.
More of this man and his hard body taking me wild and rough as if his only goal is to fuck me until I can’t walk out of here.
“Come on, sexy bartender.” I pull his face up so I can run my tongue over his lips, before biting the lower one. “Is that all you got?”
“Fuck no!”
With that, he drops me down to my feet and spins me around to smash my face against the door. He grips my hair with one hand and pulls my head back so he can bite my lips as he slams into me from behind.
The combination has my pussy clenching around his dick within five thrusts and I find myself screaming against the door as my orgasm rolls through me, causing my legs to shake.
He pushes inside of me as far as he can and moans out as my muscles clench his dick.
“Don’t challenge me, love. You won’t last very long.”
As soon as the words leave his lips, he lifts one of my legs against the door and begins moving again.
The sensitivity from my orgasm has me pulling my bottom lip into my mouth, trying my best not to cry out as he moves fast and hard inside of me.
I’ve never been fucked so hard in my life and I’ve never had an orgasm that’s been able to bring me to my knees.
Not until the sexy bartender, and I don’t even know his name.
A few more hard thrusts and he bites into my shoulder, releasing himself into the condom.
The feeling of him filling me has me coming undone again and I moan against the broken door, gripping onto anything I can get my hands around.
We’re both breathing heavily, fighting to catch our breath, when he leans in to whisper in my ear. “That was me taking it easy on you. If I had given it to you how I wanted to . . . I would’ve broken you in half.”
His words have me swallowing as his body moves away from mine. “That’s bullshit . . .” I bite out. “You don’t think I can handle rough?”
I watch as he yanks the condom off and tosses it down the hallway. “No. I know you can’t handle my level of rough.”
His words have me heated and reaching for my clothes so fast I almost give myself whiplash.
“Fuck you. Don’t tell me what I can and can’t handle, bartender.”
I’m just slipping on my jeans when he says the one word that is enough to stop my heart mid-beat and rip it straight from my chest.
“My name isn’t bartender. It’s Jax . . . Jaxon.”
I can’t breathe. I literally lose my breath at the sound of his name and I find myself grabbing at my chest as my gaze roams over his face, taking him all in.
He’s so different from the Jaxon I remember as a kid, but now, looking into those eyes, I know why he’s felt so familiar this whole time.
This can’t be Jax.
My Jax.
“I . . . I have to go.”
He looks confused as he watches me scramble for my ripped shirt and head toward the door. “Wait a minute.”
Right as I reach for the front door to open it, he places his hand on it above my head, stopping me from opening it. “Why did you look at me like that?”
“Move! I told you I didn’t want to know your name.” I grab the handle and begin pulling on it, just needing to get away so I can breathe. “Now, let me leave!”
As soon as he hears the panic in my voice, he backs away from the door and watches as I make my escape.
My legs are shaky and I find myself falling to my knees and gripping the porch as I fight to get a grip on my emotions.
I know I won’t be able to, though, so I search through my purse for the few pills I have hidden and pop two into my mouth, swallowing them down the best I can without water.
I’m just shoving everything back into my purse when the front door opens to Jaxon looking down at me.
“Don’t,” I growl up at him as he hands me his shirt. “I don’t want to talk. I . . . I just need to leave.” I throw his shirt on and shove my ripped one into my purse.
“I’m not going to let you walk away in the middle of the night. Let me drive you back to your vehicle.”
I stand up and begin backing away as he takes a step outside. The thought of him touching me has me fighting for air again. “No. I can handle myself. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”
“Then at least take my damn keys.” Steeling his jaw, he grabs my hand and forces me to grip onto his keys. “Take my truck and leave it at the bar. That way you’ll never have to see me again if you don’t want to. Deal?”
I swallow and look down at the keys. Here he is . . . taking care of me like the old Jax and I don’t know if I can handle it.
Especially not after the way he just fucked me so hard that my legs are still shaking.
He stands still and watches me as I make my way off his porch and over to his truck, jumping inside.
I’m a total mess right now and the only thing I need is to escape before my mind drives me insane with thoughts I know will ruin me for good.
Frantically, I pull away, nearly sideswiping a car parked on the other side of the road. All this does is work me up even more, making me grab my chest as I fight to catch my breath.
I shouldn’t be behind the wheel right now, and even that knowledge isn’t enough to make me stay and admit the truth. He doesn’t need to know who I am.
All I want to do is get as far away as I can before Jaxon sees how much of a wreck I am.
Before my old best friend can see I’m a lost cause not worth saving anymore.
As soon as I pull up at the bar, I jump out of Jaxon’s truck and slam the door shut.
I notice Blaine outside smoking a cigarette, but the last thing I can do right now is socialize or even be around another person.
“Where’s Jax? Everything okay?”
I hear his footsteps on the pavement behind me, so I turn around and throw Jax’s keys at his head, before I dodge into my car and drive off in a hurry.
I don’t bother to look back at him to see his reaction. I just drive, trying my best to concentrate on the road the best I can before the pills kick in.
Once that happens, mixed with the alcohol I won’t be able to function. That’s what I’m depending on, at least.
When I pull up at the house and park in the garage, I notice my roommate’s car is gone and I don’t see James’ vehicle either, which means I’m completely alone to ruin myself in peace.
And that’s exactly what I do.
A few more pills, mixed with more whiskey, and the next thing I know I’m waking up to my roommate’s fingers down my throat.
“Let it out, dammit!”
I barely make out her yelling at me as I begin to come to a bit.
I gag as she shoves her fingers down my throat again until I’m puking all over them and the floor I passed out on.
“Good . . . good. There you go. We need to get this shit out of your system.” She pats my back, while shoving her fingers in one last time, making me puke out more of the liquor and pills.
I’m not really sure what happened after that, because after puking my guts out I passed out again.
But in the midst of it all, I still somehow thought about Jax and what he would think if he saw me this way.
That’s enough to make me wish I’ll never wake up at all . . .