Chapter Thirteen
The drive to Casper took just under ninety minutes. While Nakos spent quite a few hours with the prospective horse and talking to the breeders, Amy wandered around, snapping pictures. She’d gotten some great shots by the time Nakos was ready to head out.
“There’s a family restaurant right up the road.” He glanced at her from behind the wheel, then back to the two-lane highway. “We can do an early dinner. I’d rather take you somewhere nicer for our first date, but I’ve been stomping around a farm all day.”
Date? There he went again. First, breakfast in bed, followed by the beautiful comment and flowers. Now, dinner out. She couldn’t hack it, not this take charge side of him, nor the consideration. It was one thing when they were friends and the occasional slips could be chalked up to placating. Dating was entirely different.
Unsure how to respond, she glanced out the passenger window as trees and hills whizzed by in a blur. Dating led to sex. She’d been with other men before Chris, but she had zilch for experience. Intimacy was incredibly uncomfortable for her, and since it had rarely been pleasurable, she had no skills, either. Most of the time, she’d laid there, doing what she’d been told.
She had little strength when it came to Nakos. His kiss alone cindered her brain cells. A first in her book. She’d tried to summon the courage and wherewithal to tell him no, remember why them together was an epically bad idea, but she lost all sense near him. Worse, was his determination. He’d obviously made the decision they were going for it, and she’d never change his mind. He could be so hard-headed and obstinate when he wanted.
Halfway through the day, she’d come to the conclusion she’d just go along with whatever he had in mind, let this attraction run its course. Fighting him would only encourage him and give her a headache. If they ever got to the take-their-clothes-off stage and had sex, he’d quickly learn she’d never satisfy him. Even Chris had sought it elsewhere. Nakos’s curiosity and desire would fizzle, peter out, and die a quick death.
Except, he kept trying to throw chivalry into the mix. Why couldn’t he just strip her naked, get his jollies, and have a blinding morning-after insight like every other guy? It would speed things along and she’d be less likely to get more attached.
Dang, she was so worried their friendship would suffer, though. All she had was Kyle, Olivia, and Nakos. And really, her brother was family. If things went horribly south with Nakos, Amy would be the one abandoned. He wasn’t the type to get ugly in a breakup, but their situation was unique. The uncomfortable tension alone would unnerve him. Not only did he work for Olivia, they were close, and he’d developed a bond with Nate, too. Olivia would side with Nakos if it came down to it, if forced to choose, and where would that leave Amy?
Almost no family and zero friends. Hell, nowhere to live.
“Does that work for you?” His hoarse, low tone filled the cab. “I’d really prefer to take you somewhere outside of Meadowlark for a change.”
Definitely better for his reputation if he wasn’t seen around town with her. Hanging out was a vast cry from a one-on-one meal. People would talk.
“That’s fine.” She pressed her temple to the window, sick to her stomach. Most of all, she didn’t want to hurt him. Her love for him spanned almost two decades and there was nothing she wouldn’t do to make him happy. She’d gladly live on the streets and dumpster dive for scraps after this relationship ended if eradicating her presence from his life was what he needed. “We skipped lunch. I bet you’re hungry.”
“All you’ve eaten today is fruit, and that was hours ago.”
Yeah, well...she probably wasn’t going to keep much down, regardless of what was on the menu.
Ten minutes later, he pulled into the parking lot of a nondescript restaurant and she almost laughed as they were seated by a hostess. Nakos had been worried about taking her somewhere nice. He’d be shocked to learn this place was several bars above anywhere Chris had taken her. Before him, she’d never been on a date. Not an official one. She’d hung out with previous boyfriends, but nothing that constituted an actual date.
“What can I get you to drink?”
Suddenly nervous, Amy smiled at the server. “Just water, please.”
Nakos ordered a cola and eyed her over the menu when the waitress walked away. He’d taken his hat off and set it on the booth beside him, so his face wasn’t partially in shadow anymore. Those black eyes studied her intensely and it amped her anxiety. It wasn’t like he was a stranger, but she didn’t know how to behave around him all of a sudden.
She glanced around for reprieve. Since it was only four o’clock, the place wasn’t hopping, but several of the white lacquer tables and booths were occupied. Flower print wallpaper covered the walls and vague prints of roses were scattered about.
“You are going to order something, aren’t you?” He jerked his chin at the laminated menu beside her silverware. “You haven’t looked at it.”
To appease him, she picked up the menu and skimmed the options. She had very little cash on her and she’d just made a loan payment, thus her account was low. Dinner out was not in her budget. He’d never let her pay anyway, and it wasn’t like she was hungry. “You’ve been nosy about my meal habits lately.”
“Because you don’t eat enough.”
Refusing to look at him, she stared as words blurred on the page. “I’m on a diet.”
He slapped his menu on the table. “What the hell for?”
And this was why she’d tried skating around the conversation with him. “Typically, one diets to lose weight. If you must know, I’m trying to drop a few pounds. And it’s rude for men to discuss such things with women.”
“You’ve already lost more than a few the past couple months.” His index finger curled around the top of her menu and tugged it down, forcing her to look at him. Irritation tightened his mouth. “You don’t need to diet.”
The waitress returned with their drinks and asked what they wanted. Nakos ordered a burger and fries, then zeroed in on Amy as if in challenge.
“I’ll have a cobb salad, please.” Once the waitress was gone again, Amy changed the previous subject before he could insert more of his two cents. “Are you going to buy the horse?”
He studied her for the longest time, dissecting and picking and invading. Finally, he sighed. “Probably. I have to talk to Olivia, but the horse has good lineage, a gentle temperament, and he’s healthy. Young, too.” The strain bracketing his eyes and mouth eased while he paused, gaze locked on hers. When he spoke again, his voice held a sad note. “You don’t have to change, Ames. There’s nothing wrong with your weight or anything else. Did he say something to you? Your ex? Because you shouldn’t listen to a thing that flies out of his mouth. Believe me, not him.”
“That’s been my problem all along. I believed him.” Not just Chris, but her parents and everyone who shouldn’t matter. They didn’t care about her. Her gaze drifted away, lost and unseeing. “I believed him when he said he loved me, wanted to marry me. When he claimed to pay the mortgage or bills on time. That he was just at a poker game with friends, even though he always came home smelling like perfume and his shirt was buttoned wrong. I fell for every lie and believed him. Such an idiot,” she muttered. “That’s the worst part. I fell for it, for him. I was stupid enough to think he truly wanted me.”
In the odious silence that hung, she glanced at him. Fists clenched on the table, jaw working a grind, he stared out the window. Not a solitary muscle moved or twitched, but the tendons and veins in his neck bulged.
She swallowed. “What are you thinking about?”
“Murder.” As if he had to force himself to do so, his gaze slid to hers. “I didn’t know he cheated on you along with everything else.”
That had been the least of Chris’s offenses in her book. The rejection and betrayal had stung, but compared to his infidelity, the insults or ignoring her outright had lashed harder. She should’ve kept her mouth shut. Now Alpha Nakos was donning his metaphorical brass knuckles, in full protection mode.
“I don’t blame him for that part.” She shrugged when his midnight eyes narrowed to menacing slits. “I don’t. Honestly, I suck at sex.”
He blinked. Several times. “He tell you that lie, too?”
“No.” Yes. She straightened her silverware. “I...” God. Talk about embarrassing, but it wasn’t the worst idea to inform him of her inefficiencies. Maybe he’d get the hint and back off before damage was done to their friendship. “I’m incapable of having an orgasm.”
There. Now it was out there, floating in the air and settling in his head. If her face got any hotter, she’d wind up with a third degree burn.
He flattened his hands on the table. “Ever?” His gaze bore into her, but she didn’t respond. “You’ve never...?” He cleared his throat. “Not even by yourself?”
Great. They were going to discuss masturbation. “Not often. It takes a really long time for, well...” She never wanted to die so badly in all her life. And there had been a lot of instances when she’d wished to be swallowed up into nothing.
“Was he your first?”
A dry laugh scraped her throat. “No. I lost my virginity younger than most and—”
“How young?”
The clipped question caught her off guard. No way, no how was she having that conversation. “That’s not the point. I’ve been with others and still nothing. Damaged goods, Nakos. Like I said, I don’t blame Chris. You should walk also before we get any deeper.”
He offered a slight shake of his head, but the move seemed more involuntary than argumentative. “Is that why you’ve been fighting the idea of us? Some misguided worry of not satisfying me?”
It definitely made the top ten list. Right above this-will-ruin-her-when-it-ends and just below she-wasn’t-good-enough-for-her-ex, never-mind-Nakos.
“Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
She rubbed her eyes, frustrated as shit. “When, Nakos? At sixteen when we went to the homecoming bonfire with the football team? Or how about during graduation with all fifty-five of my classmates around? I know. I should’ve done it at twenty-two when Olivia announced you as her foreman. Can’t you picture it? Hey, Nakos. Congratulations. By the way, I can’t get off in bed. Be serious. We were never a romantic option. Why bother?”
“We’re an option now, and we’ve been alone countless times. If I had known—”
“You would have what? Pitied me much sooner? Fought the attraction harder?”
“Done everything in my power to prove you wrong.” Elbows on the table, he leaned forward, fire darkening his already black eyes. “You responded to me. You’re not damaged goods or defective. Obviously, your previous partners didn’t have a lick of patience. Just because you take longer to get there doesn’t mean you can’t, anim.”
Mary Mother, her girly bits wept. She clenched her thighs, desperately wanting to try, but history proved an orgasm was too much to hope for. Granted, none of her lovers had turned her on near as much as him, but hot and bothered didn’t equate to oh yes, please while going at it.
“Here you go. A cobb salad and burger with fries.” Plates were set in front of them. “Can I get you anything else?”
Since Nakos’s heated glare was on Amy and he didn’t appear interested in responding to the waitress, she smiled at the woman. “No, thank you. It looks wonderful.”
“Enjoy.”
She watched the server until the woman disappeared behind the counter, then Amy leveled her gaze back on Nakos.
His expression went from interested to carnal in one flutter of his impossibly thick lashes. “Those guys you were with? They missed out. There’s nothing more rewarding than knowing a woman is satisfied when you’re together. It heightens the experience. Challenge accepted.” His gaze searched hers. “What?” he added when she lifted her brows in shock. “Were you expecting me to cut and run? I told you before. I’m not them.”
Because she had no clue what to say, they ate in silence, then squared the bill and got in his truck. Halfway home, she couldn’t stand the quiet anymore. Need battled with curiosity and coiled in her stomach, knotted her muscles.
God, she was just stupid enough to believe him. That all she required was patience and the right man to get there. Darn hope, anyway. It had never landed her anywhere pleasant.
She watched the picket fences and landscape rush past the window, recalling the original reason for their trip. The fact Olivia sent Nakos to check out potential livestock proved her trust in him where the ranch was concerned. Amy had never doubted that. Besides being friends all these years, Nakos worked hard and knew what he was doing. The men equally respected and feared him. Plus, he cared a great deal, not only about the animals and workers, but the land as well. He took pride in all aspects of his job and gave one-hundred percent.
“Have you ever thought about opening your own ranch?” She tore her gaze from the hypnotic blur of green and looked at him. “You’re so good at what you do.”
“Never crossed my mind.”
“Really?”
He shook his head, gaze on the highway. “Not once. To open my own place would require collateral I don’t have, and in this economy, I’d most likely tank in under two years. That’s not even accounting for finding workers and competing with farms already present. Besides, Cattenach is home. I grew up there. Everything I know and love is right where I am.” He darted her a quick glance. “Why?”
She shrugged. “Just wondering.”
He didn’t seem satisfied with her response, but he let it go and concentrated on driving while she watched him out of the corner of her eye.
So handsome. He had this quiet, lying-in-wait presence about him that was both appealing and mysterious. Olive skin and lean muscle and perfect bone structure. Such symmetry and strength. His thighs filled denim like the second coming and the way his biceps bulged as he gripped the wheel made her long to be trapped by them again. Like how he’d pinned her to the wall the other night.
The level of desire she felt for him was stronger than it had been with anyone else. He’d claimed all she needed was someone tolerant. As he pulled into the driveway and cut the engine, she couldn’t help but think there wasn’t a man created more patient than Nakos.
He grinned at her instead of opening the door, grinding her heart rate to a stuttering halt. “Do you kiss on the first date?”
Considering she’d never officially been on one, she didn’t know. For him? “Yes.”
A groan, and he reached for the handle. He came around and had her door open before she’d extracted herself from the seatbelt. More chivalry. He took her hand and walked to the porch, the calluses on his palms a delicious abrasion against her skin. He didn’t try to kiss her, just simply unlocked the door and gestured her inside. Disappointed, she kicked off her flip-flops and made her way to the stairs.
“Not so fast.” He spun her around, backed her up, and the next thing she knew, she was flat on the couch with a warm, hard male on top of her. “Much better.”
“Uh, hi,” she breathed. “Sort of forward for a first date, don’t you think?” Not that she was complaining. Their legs were tangled and their hips in alignment, causing every inch of him to be in direct contact with her. His weight was a welcome distraction from her tripping pulse and nerves, and he smelled...so...dang...amazing. Earth mixed with denim.
“I changed my mind. I’m considering Olivia and Nate’s wedding our first date. We walked down the aisle together and were the only people in the bridal party.” He raised up on one forearm and took his Stetson off, tossing it aside. His gaze roamed her face, stopping at her mouth, and his tone lowered to come-hither. “We’ve kissed since then, making this our second date.”
Okay, she couldn’t think, not with ridges of hot muscle pinning her prone and his handsome face right in hers. She could count every one of his short, black whiskers darkening his jaw. Her breasts ached and the apex of her thighs was throbbing to the beat of his heart against her chest. Gone was the stiff, irked man from dinner and in his place was nothing but sheer seduction.
“I adore that look, Ames. The one you get seconds before I kiss you.”
“What look?”
“You have it right now.” A smile curved his full mouth. “Your pupils blow and swallow all that pretty color, then your lids get heavy.” He brushed his thumb across her lower lip, gaze trained on the movement. “You part your lips as if you need more air or you’re expecting me and preparing.” His eyes shifted back to hers and the heat dialed to scorching. “Utter turn-on.”
He dipped his head, and whatever retort she’d had flew out the window. He had the most amazing mouth. Firm yet full lips that coaxed rather than devoured. A slow build of anticipation until need pounded at the door and desire rattled the hinges. He parted her lips with his and his tongue met hers. Shallow strokes and dips. Taunting. Building.
“Put your arms around me. Let me know you’re with me, Ames.”
And...there. Cold infused her core and doused the flames. Five minutes, and she’d already disappointed him. God. They were still dressed and she wasn’t making par. Her sinuses prickled, and she closed her eyes to stave off tears.
He lifted his head. “What happened? Where’d you go?”
Reality, that’s where. Hope was a cruel bitch.
“Look at me.” He brushed his nose against hers and his fingers wove through the strands at her temple. “Open your eyes.”
She complied, helpless to do otherwise, and met his tender gaze. “I told you I was bad at this.”
His switch flipped and fury infused his dark depths. A quick adjustment, and he parted her thighs, settling between them. He rocked his hips, ground his erection against her, and she gasped as a tingle shot through her.
“Yeah, anim. That’s me, liking what we’re doing. Very much.” He swallowed and his expression eased. “And we’re not having sex right now. We’re making out. It’s too soon for that. I’m not taking you to bed until I know you’re ready. I’m just asking for you to be a willing participant.”
Her throat closed. She didn’t know what the hell would please him, had no clue how to satisfy a man. “What do you want me to do?”
“Whatever you want. Forget what’s in your head and feel. Go with your gut. I assure you, I’ll enjoy anything you try.”
He stared at her, paused for her response, not moving or taking control. She had the impression he’d stay like this all night, waiting her out. And since there was a sense of safety with him, she let her gaze roam over his face, attempting to listen to what her body was saying.
With a trembling hand, she cupped his jaw because she loved the scratch of his five o’clock shadow. It seemed like a good start. His nostrils flared, and he moaned. Emboldened by his reaction, she stared into his eyes. The tenderness and encouragement gazing back at her told her to keep going.
Struggling to listen more intently, she glanced at his hair. She’d always loved the thick, raven strands, even more so now that he’d grown it out a bit. But he kept it in a ponytail at his nape. Rarely had she seen it down and she’d fantasized about running her fingers through it. Using her other hand, she gently pulled out the band and the shoulder-length strands fell around his face.
He kept his gaze on her, but she focused on what she was doing before she lost the nerve. Wrapping her hand around his neck, she slowly slid her fingers into the silky softness of his hair behind his head. His respirations increased, and pride filled her chest to battle with the pleasure already taking up space. She could spend an eternity just like this, and before she realized what she was doing, she shoved both hands into his hair and clutched the strands.
Again, he rocked against her and her breasts rumbled from another of his moans. He lowered his head and spoke against her mouth. “If you think I was turned-on before, I’m out of my mind now that you’re touching me.” He dragged his lips across her cheek and nuzzled her ear. “Day and night, I want you.”
A full-body tremble coursed through her and ignited every nerve along the way. The ache. God, the ache. Between her thighs. In her nipples while their chests bumped. Under her skin, where unimaginable heat burned her flesh. Everywhere. She whimpered, needing something. What, she didn’t know. It had never been like this before, and she had no idea how to gain relief from the sweet agony. On instinct, she jerked her hips, causing his thick erection to briefly alleviate her throbbing. It wasn’t enough.
He barked a sharp cry of surprise behind her ear. “Hihcebe, anim. You learn fast.” He traced a path to her neck with his tongue and buried his face there. “Why do you always smell so good?” Moving across her throat to the other side, he nipped her lobe and grazed his teeth along her thumping pulse.
Then, his mouth crashed to hers, and the beast came out of his cage.