Chapter Twenty
Leaning against the barn’s open carriage doors, Nate crossed his arms. “Things seem to be going well with Amy. Why do you look irritated?”
Nakos gave a last pat for Midnight, their three-year-old stallion, and closed the stall. Unsure how to answer, he searched the expanse behind the ex-soldier as if the land might provide answers.
A front was rolling in, the sky to the west black with ominous clouds. Static charged the humid air and smelled like rain. They’d called it a day just in time to avoid nature’s wrath. Nothing sounded better than sinking into Amy’s warm body in front of a fire while a storm raged outside.
Except... “She’s holding back. From me, from...” He lifted his hand, let it slap his thigh as he dropped it. Frustration pounded his temples. “I don’t know. She’s stopped fighting me, so there’s that. But she’s got something in that head of hers keeping her from fully engaging. I wish to hell I knew what. She looks at me like she’s gearing her courage to tell me, then clams up.” Which pissed him off. When had he ever given her the impression she couldn’t talk to him? About anything?
Nate nodded slowly. “Have you asked her about it?”
“No.” The situation had been obvious between them, even when all else was smooth sailing. “I’m trying to give her time because whatever it is, it’s...dark.” Nakos could tell by the shadows in her eyes, the haunted expression. And it was killing him.
“You love her, yes?”
He closed his eyes. “Yeah, that’s the other thing. I’ve told her, repeatedly, and she hasn’t said it back.” When Nate just stared holes through him, Nakos sighed. “What?”
“It doesn’t come as easy for people like me and her. Amy and I? Our situations aren’t that different. Remember, it was just a few months ago the roles were reversed. You came to me, laid it out for me about Olivia. I’m just trying to return the favor.”
Nate hadn’t had any love his entire life. Until he’d landed in Meadowlark and in Olivia’s capable hands, he’d wandered from situation to situation like a ghost, repeating mistake after mistake. Nakos didn’t understand how there were any similarities between the guy and Amy.
“Think about it.” Nate straightened, widened his stance. “Yeah, my life was shit before coming here, but Amy, in a way, had it worse.” He removed his black ball cap, rubbed his bald head, and replaced the hat. “I didn’t belong anywhere, had no family. Foster care wasn’t all warm fuzzies, but I knew my place. Amy grew up in a house with two parents, the very people who created her, and they don’t give a crap. You want to talk about a mind fuck? Put yourself in her shoes.” He lifted his hand, palm out. “And before you say she had you and Olivia, you need to consider her viewpoint. If her own parents didn’t love her, how is she supposed to trust anyone else who claims to? That ex of hers and what he did only locked in that mindset.”
Hihcebe, the guy was right. The scenarios had played through Nakos’s mind, too. But he didn’t know what more to do to prove to her he loved her. He treasured each moment with her, and when they were apart, he felt something akin to separation anxiety. Whatever demons were lurking inside her had their claws in him, as well. He’d be a hell of a lot calmer if he knew what those demons were so he could fight them.
He strode toward the exit and glanced over Nate’s shoulder. Up the path, near the mudroom of the main house, Amy’s folks stood with a man Nakos didn’t recognize, along with Amy’s brother and Olivia. “What are they doing here?”
Nate turned his head, scowled, and faced Nakos. “The uncle arrived in town this morning. They came by to visit with Kyle. Olivia’s been showing them around the past hour.” He paused. “Something’s not right about that guy. I told Kyle to stick by Olivia’s side so I could get away.”
“Where’s Amy? Have they seen her?” If they could make a trip to the ranch to visit their son, they sure as hell could check up on their daughter.
“No, they’ve stuck to outside. Last I saw, she was in the kitchen with Mae.”
Which was probably for the best. Nakos ground his teeth. “Let me lock up here and...”
He turned, finding Amy at the rear open carriage doors. She wore her usual casual clothes, a pair of jeans and a peach blouse, but they were wrinkled. Cocoa hair, up in a high ponytail, had wisps messily escaping to frame her face. Her hands were clasped in front of her, the knuckles white, and only one flip-flop adorned a foot. The other was bare, like she’d rushed out and lost one. That pretty mouth was pressed into a thin, distraught line and a sheen of tears swam in her mermaid eyes.
Warning knells clanged. “What’s wrong?”
“Can we go home now?” Her voice was brittle and, as he stepped closer, he realized she was trembling. Hard.
He glanced at Nate for guidance, concern ratcheting. But he was focused on her, too, a deep grove between his brows, and he didn’t appear to know the reason for her state either, if his expression was any indication.
“Can you give us a sec?”
Nate glanced at him, then back to her. “I’ll be right up at the house if you need me.”
She nodded repeatedly, the motion frantic. After Nate stepped out, she jerked her wide eyes to Nakos. “Please, can we go?” Her breath caught, and...that was it. He was officially freaked out beyond reason.
He cupped her shoulders and tugged her to him, stroking her back. A leaf dangling from a branch in October high winds had nothing on the way she shook in his arms. Alarm pinched his airway and a cold fist squeezed his lungs. This wasn’t her, wasn’t his Amy at all. Her take-no-prisoners, hear-me-roar persona had disappeared, and in it’s place was a woman he didn’t recognize. He tightened his hold, as much for him as for her.
Dropping a kiss to the top of her head, he rested his cheek. “Talk to me, bixooxu. What’s got you so worked up? Is this about your parents being here?” His heart rate was nearly as hyper as hers, thumping double-time against his chest.
Wrenching away, she cast her watery gaze everywhere but at him. “I want to go. I don’t want to see him. I can’t deal with him right now. I just can’t.”
He froze, not only due to her erratic behavior, but her phrasing. She’d said him, not them. Meaning, her uncle? Why would a man she hadn’t seen in years put the fear of God in her eyes, have her trembling beyond measure, and needing to bolt? There wasn’t damn near anything that scared her.
Memories flashed through his head, quicker than lightning with twice the voltage. How she’d gone insipidly pale in the tavern when she’d learned the guy was coming in town. The things Olivia had said about him, the way he’d made her uncomfortable as a girl. They’d claimed he was creepy and had stared at them like...
Oh hell. And with his lungs refusing to cooperate, Nakos looked at Amy, at the rabid fear shaking her limbs, the fragile helplessness in her eyes. A frigid ball of dread spread behind his ribs.
No. Mercy, no. “What did he do, Ames?”
She made a whimpering sound and paced, hands on her head. Barely comprehendible mutterings sprang from her lips. “Don’t make me relive this...I’m over it...can’t hurt me...just want to go home...”
Suspicion mounted higher, ripped the barely beating heart right out of his chest. He was about to lose his shit all over the room. “Ames,” he choked. Striding to her, he grabbed her shoulders, dipped to look in her eyes. “How did he hurt you? Tell me,” he demanded when she said nothing.
As if traumatized, she merely stared at him with eyes like glass and her lower lip quivering. Hauntingly chilling.
He tried to think. More memories seared to mind. How she’d grown rigid that time he’d taken her from behind. The admission she’d lost her virginity younger than most girls.
Bile churned, rose up his esophagus. Fucking Almighty, let him be wrong.
“Did he...?” He couldn’t even say the words. “Did he...put his hands on you?” Say no. Please, say no.
She whined, eyes pleading. Seconds passed. Finally, she nodded.
No, no, no. “Punched? Kicked? Slapped?”
She shook her head, sending what little hope this was a physical abuse situation shattering at his feet.
The alternative was too much to bear. He’d carried her out of this very barn months ago, bruised and broken and bloody, and he’d yet to recover. But...this? The possibility of her having been violated? The end. He couldn’t survive it. Not her. Sweet Hihcebe, not his Ames.
He was going to be sick. “Worse?” As if the idea of that man hitting her wasn’t vile enough. He wanted to die. Goddamn die right now. “Did he do something worse?”
A sob, and she nodded again.
“How much more, anim? You have to tell me,” he uttered brokenly, eyes burning.
“He did everything,” she whispered. Tears clung to her dark lashes, splashed onto her pale cheeks.
And he knew. Before her mouth opened to say the one word that would level him to the ground, he knew it was coming. He tried to brace himself, hold it together, and epically failed.
“He raped me.”
Roaring, he held her head in his shaking hands and slammed his eyes shut. Awful, tormenting visions cut through his mind, sliced like a blade. Shredded. Releasing her, he stumbled back, clutched his stomach.
Rage—white hot, sadistic rage—whipped through him. Lashed. Violent in the intensity, it surged as if summoned by the very bowels of hell. Blood boiled and pressure built in his skull, rammed his temples. Someone, that thing out there, had dared to hurt his Amy. His beautiful, courageous angel.
A growl tore his throat, and he pivoted. Stormed out of the barn. A quick glance around, and he found her parents, Kyle, Nate, Olivia, and the soon-to-be dead man in the same spot as moments ago. He was going to kill him. Several times. Limb from goddamn limb, he’d tear him to pieces.
Marching up to the group, Nakos zeroed in on the bastard. He had a blip of a second to make out a brown comb-over and fat paunch through a red haze of wrath before he shoved his forearm into the guy’s collarbone and slammed him against the side of the house.
Nakos reared his arm back, then brought it forward with everything he had. His fist met face. “You.” Punch. “Sick.” Punch. “Fuck.” Punch, punch. Bone cracked. Blood spurt. The guy slid to the ground, and Nakos bent to haul him up again.
Arms wrapped around him, got between him and doling justice, and backed him up several paces. Nate. Had to be with the tattoo sleeves and brawn, because no way was anything but the ex-soldier strong enough to stop Nakos’s fury. He shoved, attempted to get free, but Nate held firm.
“Take a breather, friend.”
“Let me go.” Nakos struggled and got nowhere.
“What the hell, man?” Kyle, kneeling next to his uncle, glared at Nakos.
Mae walked out of the mudroom, the screen door clacking against the frame. “What’s all the fuss?” She slung a towel over her shoulder, eyes darting to each of them like she was assessing the scene. “Well?”
“He came out of nowhere and slugged me.” Wiping blood from his lip, the uncle looked from Amy’s parents to Kyle. “Who is this guy?”
“That’s our foreman, Uncle Clint.”
Amy’s father held out a hand, helped Clint to his feet. “As savage as the rest of his kind.”
“How dare you?” Amy’s mother looked at Nakos with disgust. “I want him arrested.”
Nakos gnashed his molars to dust, his muscles tense as concrete. “Did you know?” He thrashed against Nate’s hold, glared at her parents. “Do you know what he did to her? Answer me!”
“Okay, time out.” Nate shoved his face in Nakos’s. “Explain. I’m assuming the ‘he’ is Clint and the ‘her’ is Amy. Now, explain.”
Nakos stared at Nate, chest heaving. “He touched her.”
“Hey.” Olivia, at his side, gently stroked Nakos's arm. “They just got here. We haven’t seen Amy.”
“He doesn’t mean today.” Nate, voice flat, looked at him, tension tightening his features. Nakos could all but trace the pattern on the dots Nate connected.
“But, the last time he was here was...” She rubbed her forehead.
“When you were twelve. That’s the last time he was in town.” Tears stung Nakos’s sinuses, formed a hot ball in his windpipe. He had to lock his legs so he wouldn’t collapse under the weight of the situation. “She was just a girl, little red. Only a child.” Shit. He couldn’t take it.
“I don’t understand.”
He prayed she never would. He looked at Nate, temper threatening again on a low simmer. “He. Touched. Her.” He growled, his throat raked raw. “He...touched...her.”
Nate’s expression went to stone cold steel. His jaw clenched, his eyes narrowed, and he slowly released Nakos. The silent question in the ex-soldier’s eyes was directed at Nakos alone, and the underlying savage hint in the dark depths meant he’d already figured it out.
Still, Nakos dipped his chin once in answer, not sure he could speak. His anger was beginning to fade entirely, as if he’d put it all in his friend’s capable hands now, and what replaced it was far worse. Realization. Grief. Misery. Remorse.
Sheer annihilation on a bone-deep, visceral, he’d-never-get over-it level.
Kyle turned, backed away from the group. “Are you saying...?” The color drained from his face when no one said a word. “No.” Hollow eyes, a more timid shade of Amy’s, shifted to his uncle, then his parents. “Mom? Dad?”
Neither Mr. or Mrs. Woods denied the accusations. Most gutting, neither looked surprised or guilty, either.
They’d known. They’d known and had done nothing?
Clint stumbled. “What are y’all blathering about?”
Nate pulsed livid vibes next to Nakos, sucked in a breath through flared nostrils. “You son of a bitch.” The barest hint of ink whirred through the air as his fist met his target. Ass over tea kettle, Clint went down. This time, he didn’t get back up. “By the way, Wyoming doesn’t have a statute of limitations on rape, asshole.” He pointed at Amy’s folks. “You don’t move. You’re all under arrest.” He flicked a scornful glare at an unconscious Clint. “And assault. I seem to recall he took a swing at Nakos first. That what you saw, baby?”
Olivia, tears streaming down her shell-shocked face, nodded.
“This is ridiculous.” Mrs. Woods crossed her arms. “He didn’t do anything to my daughter and that barbarian clearly hit Clint first.”
“I suggest you utilize your right to remain silent.” Nate looked at Mae. “Get the sheriff’s station on the phone, would you? Tell Rip I need an assist.”
“Sure.” Mae, confusion in her eyes, smoothed her white strands and headed inside.
Nakos hit the end of his rope. He pulled Olivia against him, needing the calm she typically brought him. But it wasn’t enough. It didn’t help the deadening void in his chest or the sickening swirl of nausea in his gut or the erratic thump of his pulse. Nothing would. Noises, awful noises like a wounded animal, escaped his throat. Raked the tissue as they got louder.
He released her, concerned he’d grip her too hard, and grabbed the back of his neck with both hands instead. His legs buckled, and his knees smacked dirt. “Hihcebe, little red. I can’t...I can’t...” Breathe. He couldn’t breathe, damn it.
“Kyle, go look for Amy.” Olivia knelt in front of Nakos, cupped his cheeks.
Nate muttered something about Amy being in the barn, but it was all a hazy wash in Nakos’s mind. Fuzz in his ears. He teetered on a rapid vertigo shift as dots spotted his peripheral.
“Shh.” Olivia stroked his cheek, but her scent was all wrong. The touch not right. Not Amy’s. “It’s going to be all right. You’re scaring me, though. I’ve never seen you this upset. We’ve got to focus on Amy, so—”
“Ames.” Yes, that’s what he needed. He needed his Amy. To hold her, to make sure she was okay, to assure her no one was ever going to harm so much as one hair on her gorgeous head again. He surged to his feet, turned as Kyle ran out of the barn.
“She’s not there.”
“What?” Nakos jogged around him and to the carriage doors. Empty. The sole flip-flop she’d been wearing lay in the dirt. Quickly, he ran to the other side, scanned past the grazing pens to the path she might’ve taken if she’d hoofed it back to his cabin. Nothing. Panicked, he met up with the others again. “Olivia, search the house. Kyle, check the other barns.” He glanced at Nate, who obviously had to stay on Amy’s parents and uncle until Rip showed up. “You okay here?”
“Yeah. Go.”
Nakos rounded the house and skidded to a stop out front. Thunder boomed, followed by a flash of lightning. He gazed up at the greenish-gray sky and frowned. She wasn’t in his truck or on the front porch. Just in case, he ran the length of the driveway, but she wasn’t there, either. By the time he got back near the mudroom, Olivia shoved through the screen door.
“No. I looked everywhere. She’s not inside. Aunt Mae said she hasn’t seen her.”
“Shit.” He shoved off his Stetson, combed his fingers through his ponytail, then replaced the hat. All he could see were Amy’s wide blue-green eyes filling with tears while she’d confirmed his suspicion. The way she’d shook against him. “Shit. Where would she go?”
Nate jerked a chin to his right. “Rip’s here. Give me five minutes to get these assholes off the property and I’ll help.” Taking charge, he turned to Olivia. “Call the ranch hands. Have the men meet in the barn. We’ll split into teams.” He studied Nakos. “Drive up the main road toward your place. Maybe she just decided to walk.”
Leaving the others, Nakos hopped in his truck, turned the engine over, and sped down the driveway. He slowed once he got past the gate despite the thundering race of his heart.
Searching for her, he recapped their conversation in the barn and cursed. He should’ve stayed with her, should’ve kept her in his arms and tended to her. Instead, he’d uncharacteristically flipped his lid, and now she was missing. Worry ate away at his stomach lining.
He got all the way to his cabin without spotting her and, just in case, rushed inside to check. Not there. The sky let loose while he floored it to the main house, pouring in horizontal sheets. The wipers barely kept up, and he pictured her in the rain. Alone.
All their men were in the barn when Nakos returned, listening intently to Nate. He paused. “Anything?”
Nakos shook his head. His stomach bottomed out. A needling sense of anxiety itched under his skin. He swore to all that was holy, if she wasn’t all right and in one piece, he’d fucking go apeshit.
“Okay, move out. Mic up if you find anything.” The guys shuffled out and Nate pointed to an aerial map of the ranch tacked to the wall, then jerked his chin for Nakos to step closer. “Teams of two are going out on ATV here, here, and here.” He indicated the three sections of land, the fourth being the main house and barns. “Olivia is with Kyle. They’re taking this path south toward your cabin. Olivia thinks she might’ve gone that way. Mae’s staying at the house and will radio if Amy shows up.”
Nakos ran an unsteady hand down his face. “Thank you for helping. I’m not thinking straight.”
“We’ll find her.” Nate sighed. “I can’t keep her folks or uncle on anything without a statement from Amy about...” He closed his eyes, jaw ticking. “Makes me want to pound on the fucker’s face again.” Lifting his lids, he rolled his shoulders. “Rip’s holding them overnight on bogus trespassing charges until I can talk to her.”
“Okay.” Damn it all. Where was she? “I can’t wait around here. I have to go look.”