Chapter 28
Blade
I feel a light touch across my forehead waking me up. Just as I’m trying to pull myself back to sleep, I feel it again. “Blade, Tank brought the Tahoe, we are going home in about twenty. Wake up,” Alessia tries coaxing me from my deep sleep. Opening my eyes, I kiss a bare spot above her gown, right on her chest, and then her lips. I get up and stretch my sore my back, ready to get my woman and me the hell out of here.
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite little soldier. You get some sleep with that fat ass taking up most of your bed, honey?” Tank’s voice booms into the room out of nowhere.
Vegas laughs happily, moving to give Tank a big hug. “You’re such a dork, but a lovable dork.”
Tank’s big arms wrap around her and lift her feet up off the floor. “Right back at you, honey. Go grab your clothes so we can get your scrawny, ninja ass home.” Tank makes motions of Vegas fighting with fists, then kneeing the air, bowing to her fighting honor.
Mischief laces her eyes as she shakes her head, laughing at Tank. “Thank you, honey. I needed that, dork.”
Tank tosses me the keys and walks back out. “Thanks, fucker!”, I call out to his retreating back as I hear him whistling all the way down the hallway until he reaches the elevator.
∞ ∞ ∞
Shutting the door, Alessia hangs up her coat. Finally, we are home after a long night. I sit on the couch, hoping like hell that I can close my eyes for a few hours. Alessia sits in my lap which I want, but it worries me that she feels she needs a safe place.
“What’s wrong, Alessia, what’s in your head?”, I ask rubbing her back.
“My baby died, Blade, my baby is gone.” She says it so quietly that I worry I heard her wrong. A big, fat tear rolls down her cheek and hits my cut, and she wipes it away with trembling fingers.
My heart starts racing in my chest. “What are you telling me, Alessia?” Last I spoke with James, Tugger was still fighting his way back home.
“I was pregnant, and with what happened yesterday, I started bleeding, so they took a pregnancy test last night when I said I wasn’t raped. Then, they removed my IUD, said I would need to replace it.” She takes in a shuddering breath and continues as I sit there in utter shock. “Since I was pregnant, and that shouldn’t have happened, they had to take it out.”
She stops for a second to gather her thoughts, and her next words gut me. “But somewhere inside of me, I feel like I killed our baby. I shouldn’t have been in that building alone, I should have left with James, it feels like it’s my fault.”
She starts crying over the grief of losing a baby she didn’t even know we were having. I rock her and try reassuring her until she finally falls asleep. I can’t let go, so I hold her for the next thirty minutes, then go and lay her in our bed.
Feeling confused and tired, I call my mom. “Hey, Ma, did the old man make it home to you yet?” Stryker took Skid back to Las Vegas with him. Said he was going to make his torture last for months. I was all too happy to get rid of the traitor.
“Hi, honey! Yes and no. He’s in Las Vegas, has a few things to wrap up before he heads home. What can I do for you? Not that I don’t want to talk about me, but what is going on that’s got you worried?”
“Can’t tell you all of it, but Alessia, Ma… she lost a baby last night. She didn’t even know she was pregnant.” I feel my heart breaking all over again as I pour my heart out to my mom. “I don’t know what to do to help her. I called because I was hoping you could tell me. The whole thing really confuses me. I’m sad, but, honestly, I was just so relieved that she was okay.”
I swallow and take a breath because the next words out of my mouth are selfish. “I can stand to lose a whole lot, but I’ll never be able to stand losing her.”
My mom is quiet for a long moment that seems to stretch forever. When she starts talking, I can hear the sadness in her voice. “Makes sense, Blade, she would feel the same way if she were you. To her, she lost a part of you in that baby, a baby she wasn’t even aware of so that she could protect it. She loved that baby instantly when she knew it was there because that baby was a part of you.”
I hear her softly sniffling while trying to find words that would bring me comfort. “Now her hormones are reacting to what her body was geared up to take on. Be patient and loving, and, when the time is right, push her out of the sadness and back to living for the future. Just give her some time to grieve what she lost and remind her that you both still have a future.”
“Thanks, Ma.” I feel lighter somehow after hearing her take on this, and I can only hope that I can be the man that Alessia needs me to be while recovering from this trauma.
“Love you, and, Blade, bring your ass home more often, and bring Alessia with you.” We hang up just as there is a knock at the door.
James, Jenn and Dana walk in with a drowsy looking Tugger. Our badass dog fought for Alessia, and I can’t help but grab him from James and hug him to my chest. Walking with him into the bedroom, I lay him right next to Alessia’s head. Tugg scoots up and licks her face, then again and again until she moans out, “Tugg, use the doggy door, why do you always… TUGG!”
Alessia startles Tugg with her scream, and he happily barks back at her, thinking it’s play time. Pulling him to her, she peppers his face with kisses and tears.