We park the car by our campsite before Eric guides us to a trail he researched before we arrived. With the map app on his phone pulled up, he leads the way. We follow a path that winds around the lake to some docks, and as we step into a parking lot for the rental boat companies, I say, “I think we’re getting a little off-trail here.”

“Really?” Eric asks. “I think this is actually exactly where we need to be.” He beams like he’s so goddamn proud of himself, and I realize I’ve been had.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“Not even a little.”

I shake my head as he leads me down to the dock. “And when did you plan all this?”

“I already have my boating license, and I’ve been renting through this company for a few years. They have rentals out west and in the southeast. It’s one of the reasons I picked this spot.”

“Aren’t you a clever motherfucker?”

“I have my moments.”

Yes, he does.

After checking in at an office beside the dock, an attendant leads us to one of the motorboats—white with a wide blue stripe around it. We board, and Eric drives us out onto the lake, which glistens with sparkling specks of sunlight. I lounge on a cushioned seat across the back, spreading my feet out on the floor.

Eric’s hair blows back in the wind as he sits behind the steering wheel, shades on, shirt off.

Though we’re only in late March, the weather is plenty warm. We’re lucky with how everything worked out.

It’s evident by the way Eric drives that he’s done this on plenty of occasions. We wave to other boaters, and like at Wendy’s, there’s this weight off my shoulders. We’re not hiding or trying to be discreet. It doesn’t feel like a weighty dark secret now that we’re free to move around in public. I don’t think I realized how oppressive that feeling was until today.

While I do feel a sort of freedom, there’s still that lingering discomfort. Because the one person who needs to know still doesn’t.

Eric finds a cove, anchors the boat, and grabs his backpack.

“Think it’s time to make sure you put on some sunscreen,” he tells me, retrieving the bottle from his backpack.

“Oh, what? You think I’m going to go crazy and not put any on like that one day?”

“Not going to risk it. I’ve got to protect that pretty face.”

“I have a few ideas of what you want to do to this pretty face.”

“You mean things I’ve already done to that face?”

I laugh, rising to my feet as he says, “Take your clothes off.”

“What?”

“Take your goddamn clothes off.”

“You didn’t warn me about this excursion, so I left my swimming trunks in the car.”

“I wasn’t planning on you wearing anything.”

“Well, that sounds like a really shitty idea,” I say, “because now that you said that, my dick’s hard.”

“What exactly is the problem?”

“You’re not suggesting we go skinny-dipping right now?”

“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting. I mean…” He glances around. “Are you worried someone out here is going to catch us? I picked a quiet place to make sure we’d have some privacy.”

“You like secluded areas, don’t you?” I say, recalling when he took me out to that private beach in Mexico.

“Don’t you have fun when I take you to secluded places, Jesse?”

I roll my eyes. I can’t believe I’m doing this. “And here I thought I was the kid,” I say before removing my tank top. I start to take off my shorts when I notice Eric just standing there. “You’re going to take off your clothes too, I assume?”

“I was going to watch you first.”

I snicker, kicking off my shoes and removing my shorts. As I pull off my socks, he’s still watching me, and my dick keeps getting harder. I glance around.

“You might have to suck me off,” I tell him.

“I would, but I want to save that big, throbbing dick of yours for later. I have plans for it.”

I’m excited all over again, enjoying how he keeps suggesting what he plans to share with me, this thing I’ve been looking forward to. Yet I’m also a little nervous because I know about the discomfort he gets around that subject, and I don’t want to do anything that makes him uneasy or feel like he can’t do this with me. I’m cautious, doing my best to pay attention and make sure if we do this, it’s what he wants.

“You still have to lose those trunk boxers,” he tells me.

“Uh-uh. That, I am saving until I have to pull them off.”

“Okay, just turn around so I can put some sunscreen on you.”

I turn around, and he lathers some across my back. He moves slowly, seemingly purposely to get me hard, massaging my muscles, kneading my flesh. He brings his hands around to my front, pushing up close so I can feel his own girth. Certainly, if he changes his mind about bottoming tonight, I won’t have any problem picking up the slack.

As his hands move up to my chest and squeeze, he pushes closer. He slides his head beside mine and kisses my cheek. I turn to him so that our lips are right in front of one another’s.

“I think you got a little distracted,” I say.

“I think so too. Is that a problem?”

“Only if you don’t kiss me right now.”

His lips meet mine once again. It’s so satisfying. I take it in, enjoy the moment, lose myself in it. He brings one hand up to my throat, holding it there gently. As he gets harder, so do I.

“You have to stop,” I warn him.

“Why?”

“Because if you want me to save anything for later, you’re going to have to keep me from blowing right now.”

I hate having to say it. Hell, I wouldn’t mind us tossing all our plans aside and fucking here on the floor of the boat.

He groans before forcing himself back.

He picks up the bottle of sunscreen, which I hadn’t even noticed he discarded on the seat across the back of the boat. Putting some more lotion in his hands, he starts taking care of my chest and torso.

“I can put sunscreen on, you know,” I insist.

“I’d rather do it myself.”

I let him continue his work. He takes care of my arms and my legs, down to my feet.

The way he looks at each part he takes care of is so intense, as though he’s lost in some deep thought, fully appreciating every part of me. I’ve never felt so probed and scrutinized before, but in a good way since I know he likes what he sees. Finally, when I think he’s finished, he rises up and looks into my eyes.

“Now,” I tell him, “I think it’s only fair I have a turn.”

“I’m not done yet,” he says, shaking his head. “Don’t want to forget this pretty face, do I?”

I don’t laugh at that, can’t laugh at that, because he’s so serious.

He still has some lotion in his hand, and he puts it against my face gently, on one side and then on the other. With both hands, his thumbs at the bottom of my cheeks, he runs them in circles around my face, moving slowly, carefully, making sure not to miss a spot.

He keeps looking in my eyes, and then he stops his hands and leans forward, offering another kiss, very soft and gentle.

I move forward quickly, wrapping my arms around him. We enjoy it together before he pulls away again and finishes applying the lotion to my face. He tosses me the bottle when he’s done, and says, “Now your turn.”

I admire his body, those muscles I am used to seeing in dimmer light in his condo. I appreciate it so much more now because it reminds me of when we first met and I got to see it on the beach, out in the wild, free.

We’re really free.

He continues stripping down, and I take advantage of him the same way he did me, moving extra slow on every part of his body. I pull the band of his briefs toward me as I slide my hand underneath slightly.

“Now I feel like I didn’t do as good a job,” he says.

“Oh, you did just fine,” I assure him.

We take a few moments and share some more kisses until we’re both glistening with sunscreen, stripped down to our underwear, about to take the plunge at the back of the boat.

I glance around uneasily once more.

“Even if someone was around,” Eric says, “I don’t think they’re going to fuck with two guys who are nude on the back of a boat. Do you? It’s a fucking lake. It’s not the first time they’re going to see anyone skinny-dipping.”

I hook my thumbs in my boxers.

“I’ll count it down,” he says. “Three, two, one.”

I quickly slide them down because I know I have to commit and go for it, and as soon as I’m stepping out of them, I turn and see he hasn’t done a goddamn thing.

“Hey!” I shout.

He smiles before giving me a quick shove that sends me into the water, leaving my boxers on the boat.

I hit the water and am engulfed in the cool temperature that lets me know just what a perfect day this is for our outing.

As I break through the water’s surface, I see Eric still on the boat, his hip kicked out to the side, those tiny briefs revealing the length of his hard dick.

“You fucking asshole,” I tell him.

He’s beaming, fucking loving how he duped me with that. He bursts into laughter, and it’s such a fun, playful laugh that I can’t help but be mesmerized by it, and kind of glad that it was his prank on me that led to him enjoying the moment so much.

“Okay, okay,” he says. “Sorry about that.”

He drops trou and turns quickly, displaying his ass.

“That’s my way of saying sorry,” he says before jumping in beside me. He swims to my side.

“I could fucking hit you for that,” I say.

“Admit it, you liked it. You were smiling as much as I was when you came up.”

“Fair enough.”

“Now stop complaining and kiss me.”

I lean forward, and he splashes water in my face.

“You fucker,” I say, splashing back.

He stops as I keep going, and goes, “Sorry, sorry, sorry. That was mean. Last tease of the day.”

I let my guard down, and he comes at me, puts an arm around me, and pulls me close, offering that kiss as we swim in place, those lips reassuring me that the teasing is over, not that I minded it.

We spend some time in the water, goofing around before we get out and dry off, struggling to keep our hands to ourselves. Soon, we’re kissing on the boat floor, stiff dicks pressed up against each other, the heat of the sun on my back. I start thrusting because I can’t help myself, and he grips my hip.

“Uh-uh-uh,” he says. “Like I said, we’re saving all that for tonight.”

He takes my hand and slides it down so I can feel his ass cheek. The expression on his face is warm, sincere. He seems much more relaxed than when we shared that first time, when I went a little further than it seemed I should. The fact that he is willing to be so much more open with me, and that we’re able to have this moment, reminds me of the one thing that stands between us, really, right now.

“What?” he asks, seeming to read my expression.

“Nothing. I don’t want to ruin the moment.”

“Say what’s on your mind. I’m curious.”

“This is going to be such a buzzkill, but I was thinking how nice it’s going to be when we talk to Ty.”

“I’ll really like that too. I don’t like that it’s gone on this long. I know he’s going to hate me.”

“Well, he’s not going to hate me any less,” I assure him.

“No, it’s just… It feels like a shitty thing to be doing behind his back. He’s going to feel betrayed.”

“I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in his shoes.”

“I agree, but I keep playing it over and over again in my head. What do we say? How do we do it?” His gaze drifts momentarily. “I thought maybe one of us should do it, but then if it was you, I feel like I don’t get a chance to say my piece, and then if it’s me, you don’t get a chance to say yours, and it’s really the crappiest of situations, because then if we do it together, it seems like we’re almost ganging up on him.”

“I’ve thought the same thing,” I say.

“What did we do wrong? Jesse, I thought it was so unlikely anything would come of this, and then at the same time, there was always that feeling that there was something about us that meant more.”

“I know. Eric, I’ve been feeling almost as guilty as you must about this, but there wasn’t any way we could have planned for this, or know how to deal with it. What we did isn’t right, and I think all we can do is talk to him and hope he’ll understand none of us could have planned for this crazy, fucked-up scenario.”

“Right? This is definitely Jerry Springer-worthy.”

I chuckle.

“What?” he asks.

“That’s a very dated reference. I get it, but most people wouldn’t say Jerry Springer.”

“What would they say?”

“Not sure. Maybe some reality-show craziness. Real Housewives or something. Just something a little more current.”

“Are you insinuating I’m old?” Eric asks in an overdramatic way. He smiles before offering another kiss.

There’s an ease about how we’re kissing, like now that we’re actually close to talking to Ty, we don’t have to carry this guilt that’s been bogging us down.

At the same time, I know that when it will happen, it won’t be ease either of us will be experiencing, yet I don’t think any amount of trying to mentally prepare myself for that moment will help. Bad as it may get, angry as Ty may be at me, I’ll feel a hell of a lot better being honest than I am keeping this from him.