Holy shit, that was close. Way too fucking close.

I hear the door shut, I assume to the master bedroom. This is my chance to change my mind. To do the right thing. But my dick keeps reminding me that the right thing is to finish what I started with Eric.

What are we doing? Are we going to fuck? I don’t know how the hell to fuck a guy.

When I hear the door to Eric’s bedroom open, I slip out of the bathroom.

He saunters toward me, his eyes widening, his lips pulling together into an O shape. I detect the guilt in his expression—the reminder of what we both know, and what isn’t going to stop us.

I sit on the bed, and he crawls onto the mattress, moving toward me, slowly. We’re both being unusually quiet, I’m sure because neither of us wants to make a sound that will rouse Ty’s suspicion.

Soon, I’m lying across the mattress and he’s over me, his breath rushing down against me. I tremble under his beautiful body. There are so many emotions racing through me—excitement, uneasiness, guilt.

He leans down like he’s about to kiss me, but stops short of my mouth.

“I hope you know we have to be real fucking quiet,” he whispers. His words stir sensations that run from my pelvis to my chest. He slides his hand close to my face and runs his fingers across my cheek, his gaze fixed on my lips. “God, you’re gorgeous.”

“Stop talking and fuck me,” I say as I kiss him again.

There’s that explosion of passion again—and it’s the sort that concerns me because it’s so easy to forget Ty is in the same condo when I just want to let go, to disappear into this experience.

He leans his body toward the nightstand, opens the drawer, and retrieves a box of condoms and a bottle of lube.

So many thoughts are racing through my head. Is he expecting me to take his dick? Or me to fuck him? I guess I could fuck him, but if he wants to get in me, that’s way beyond my experience.

He maneuvers to get out of his board shorts, and I press my feet against them, sliding them down his legs until he’s able to pull his feet out of them. He sets the condoms and lube down on the bed beside me and smiles before raising my thighs and pressing his face against my ass, licking at my hole.

I’m tense at first. What the fuck? I’ve never had this sort of attention there before, but as I start to get over how weird it is, I start to notice the sensation.

It feels good.

Really fucking good.

And now I’m thinking about him fucking me. I know it’s possible. Obviously it is—gay guys do that all the time. I’ve even seen it in porn, but I’ve never had anything go up in me like that. But considering how good everything about Eric feels—his kiss, his hands across my body, his mouth on my cock, I’m confident if anyone can soothe me into this experience, he can.

He pulls his face away and raises my legs, pushing them back so that my ass is fully displayed for him to take as he chooses. As he licks, he sneaks his middle finger inside my hole. Then adds his forefinger.

“Fuck,” I moan, enjoying the sensation and appreciating the time he’s taking to ease me into this.

My dick is stiff, angling toward me as my balls swell with pressure.

Eric pushes deeper into me.

I start to make a sound, but then I quiet myself. If Ty fucking hears us… God, he’d never forgive me.

As Eric massages those fingers within me, I relax a little. It assures me that I can figure out a way to deal with that cock. I can’t help but shift my hips around, enjoying how he’s working within me.

When he pulls his fingers out, he suits up with the condom and slathers some lube on it. Then he leans back and presses the head of his dick against the rim of my hole. Okay, this is definitely too much for me.

“Um…” I say.

“What? Is this okay?” he asks.

I feel so fucking embarrassed even saying it. “Full disclosure, I’ve never done this before.”

His face turns red. “What?”

“I’ve never been fucked by a guy.”

“Like never never?”

“Uh…yeah… Never done anything with a guy before.”

He removes the condom. “I wasn’t even thinking about that. I assumed you’d messed around with other guys before.” His words are a faint whisper, clearly not wanting either of us to get caught. “This is a bad idea.”

“Dude, are you seriously done with me because I’ve never been with a guy before? It’s not that I don’t want to do anything with you.”

“Yeah. I just… I assumed you were gay…and had done this before. That it would be a quick thing. Not like me taking your virginity.”

“Well, I would obviously be giving it up, not just you taking.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t think I do.”

There’s a knock at the door.

“Fuck,” Eric whispers.

I tense up.

“Yes?” he asks in as nonchalant a voice as I’m sure he can manage.

“I’m gonna head to the store and grab that ibuprofen now, so don’t sweat it.”

“All right. That’s good.” He spits the words out quickly.

“You need anything?” Ty asks.

“Nope. Thank you for asking, though.”

“Oh, and by the way…”

I want to laugh, but I press my lips together because I know I can’t. Not when we’re both at risk of getting caught. Not when Ty is only a few feet away from us. I can’t even imagine what he would say…how he would react…if he discovered what we’re up to.

He would lose his mind.

He would hate me. Forever.

He’d want to know if I’m gay.

He’d want me to explain Whitney and all my ex-girlfriends.

And I don’t even fully understand. I mean, I assume I’m bi, but I’ve never explored this side of myself. Not enough to feel comfortable coming up with an explanation for what I feel right now. For how much I want Ty to leave and for Eric to drive the rest of his dick into me.

“Leave the door unlocked for Jesse if you go out. He doesn’t have a key.”

“For sure,” Eric replies.

“Okay. See ya.”

I hear a sort of sadness in his voice, like he wished Eric would have dropped what he was in the middle of and gone to the door to talk to him. Of course I’m sure he would have if we hadn’t been in the middle of making a huge-ass fucking mistake.

A door closes outside the room. It’s far enough away that I assume it’s to the condo.

Eric breathes slowly, like he’s trying to make as little noise as I am. He shakes his head and pushes to his feet.

“I think Ty saved us from making a massive mistake.”

“A mistake?”

“Yes,” Eric says. “This is not how you need your first time to be. With your friend’s prick of a dad.”

He sighs and slides on his board shorts.

My face turns red. I’m embarrassed. Ashamed even.

“Did I do something wrong?” I ask.

“No, it’s on me. I was thinking with my dick instead of my fucking head.”

“You weren’t having a problem with that until I said I never had a cock in my ass. Is it that big of an issue?”

“It really is. If I’d known that, I wouldn’t have even considered it.”

I hurry into my own board shorts. His rejection makes me feel so vulnerable. I can’t understand what his beef is. Was it horrible that I was honest with him about not having fucked around with a guy before? I’m stumped. I don’t know what to fucking say.

“You should go,” he tells me, his gaze meeting mine, though this time not filled with that red-hot desire that’s the reason I ended up in here to begin with.

I storm out, heading into my room. I close the door and lean back against it. I can’t tell if my face is hot because I’m mad at him or because I feel embarrassed.