Chapter 29
Elijah
I opened my eyes and could see Bo had firmly rested himself against my legs again. I turned my head on the crisp white cotton pillow case and could see Kendall as she slowly opened one of her eyes and looked in my direction as she started to stretch her arms.
“Good morning,” I said as I smiled at her.
“Bah, too early for such pleasantries,” she replied as she rolled over and thrust her ass toward me.
Kendall threw her legs from out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom for a pee, she came back into the room wrapped in a robe, and she had tied her hair into a bun.
“Come on Bo, time for you to go out,” she said as she patted her leg and headed down the stairs.
Bo looked at me and decided he should follow, yet his eyes said he would much rather stay on the bed.
“You better go, she will be mad,” I said to Bo.
He raised his body and plopped himself onto the floor before getting up to find Kendall.
“Here Bo,” I could hear her shout from the kitchen door.
I wrapped myself in a robe and headed downstairs to the kitchen and turned on the coffee machine. The whir of the blades as it ground the beans filled the silence of a quiet Sunday morning.
“So, today is the big day?” Kendall asked as she stood and looked in the refrigerator.
“It is. I’m kind of nervous, not just the animosity between us, but she’s a stranger to me, if it had not been for the pictures, Peter could have introduced me to anyone,” I said as I placed the cups on the saucers.
“Juice,” Kendall said
“Eh?” I replied as I filled the cups with coffee and place cream and sugar on the tray.
“Do you want juice?” she asked as she shook a carton for me to see.
“Yes, please. We need to make sure we have our vitamins in the morning,” I replied cheekily.
She smiled, thankfully playing along a little. “So, what time are you going to your mother’s?” Kendall asked as she placed the glasses of juice on the table.
“About 11 a.m. I should be there just after lunch then,” I replied.
“Pancakes or toast? Pick one. I’m not doing both,” Kendall said with a giggle.
“Toast is fine. It’s too early to mess around cooking. Just relax and spend some quality time with me,” I replied.
“Mr. Overconfident here. Any time is quality time,” Kendall replied as she sat on my lap and threw her arms around my shoulders.
“So, you didn’t enjoy yourself last night then?” I asked as I put my arms around Kendall’s waist.
“As Simon Cowell would say, ‘It wasn’t good,’” she replied with her poker face. “It was fantastic.”
“The fair maiden doth jest,” I replied as I grabbed a piece of toast.
“Cut the Shakespeare. Next, you will be spouting Romeo and Juliet,” Kendall said in a fit of laughter.
“Enough said, no more talk of literary greats, or indeed Simon Cowell,” I replied as I sipped on my coffee.
“So, how are you gonna play it with your mother?” Kendall asked as she leaned toward me on the table.
“To be honest, I can just respond to her. She has all the information, so I have nothing to say really. I hope what she tells me is true,” I replied.
“Hum, a good point, I never thought of that, but she would be a horrible person if she didn’t,” Kendall answered.
“That would be a woman who was full of resentment, that’s for sure,” I said as I wiped my mouth on a napkin.
“Well, I should be getting ready, I promised I would go over to Mandy’s house today, I have not seen her for a few days,” Kendall said as she stood and headed back to the stairs.
I heard the shower running, and after a while, Kendall came back downstairs in a pair of my jogging pants and a sweatshirt.
“Is it okay if I borrow these, I don’t want to wear those stinky things from yesterday. Oh, and I borrowed a pair of your shorts,” she said as she lowered the jogging pants to flash my shorts at me.
“No problem, as long as you have left a pair for me,” I replied with a smile for my girl.
“Have you seen how many pairs you have? There are hundreds,” she replied as she walked toward the kitchen door and called Bo.
“So, you are off then and leaving me all alone,” I said in a false upset tone.
“You’ll be fine. A big grown-up man like you,” she said as she tugged on my robe collar and gave me a kiss. “Good luck anyway. I’ll speak to you later.”
I stood in the doorway and watched as she headed down the driveway. Once she had gone out of view, I headed upstairs and readied myself.
I arrived at my mother’s house and could feel my body as it shook with nerves, Peter said it had been a long time since we had spoken and we always ended up arguing when I left. I looked at the house and wondered why it had not been larger? It was just the same as Peter, he only lived in a modest home and showed no signs of the family he came from.
I walked up the driveway and rang the doorbell. I waited a few moments, and the door slowly opened.
“Mom, it’s me, Elijah,” I said.
“You better come in,” she replied.
She showed me to the living room, and I sat on the couch and waited for her to come back from the kitchen with coffee for the both of us.
“So, Peter says you were in an accident?” She asked
“I was, and I lost my memory, even now I don’t know a lot,” I replied as clasped my hands and placed them on my knees.
“Peter told me of your accident and your condition, and I could say you deserved it, yet, I won’t, I’ll reserve judgment,” she replied.
“It seems stupid, but it feels strange to call you mom. I didn’t even know Peter or myself after the accident,” I explained.
“Well that has happened and no point dwelling on it. I take it you have questions?”
“Well yes, it has been bugging me since Peter told me, why did we not talk or have a good relationship before?” I asked.
“Well Elijah, it all happened because I was stupid, and you had become caught in the middle of it. Even now it’s difficult for me to explain so bear with me,” she said as tears welled up in her eyes.
“Go on. Take your time,” I said as I leaned forward to listen.
“I had an affair, and I’m sad to say, you caught me in the act with the other person. I made you promise never to tell your dad,” she said as tears rolled down her cheek.
“So, apart from the obvious, how did this relate to dad?”
“Well, I tried to stop this affair and I couldn’t. Your dad found out, and that was the reason he started drinking and becoming abusive. At the same time, he also found out that Peter was gay, which infuriated him even more. He was in the wrong, but he was who he was,” she explained.
“Peter’s gay? I knew there was something and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Keep going.”
“That’s when you started to blame me for your dad’s drinking and his death. You blamed me for making him become that way, and I had made you promise not to say anything,” she said as she sobbed.
“It was a bad situation for all of us, Mom,” I replied
“I was selfish and mean, but I never stopped loving you. Even though you disowned Peter and me when your dad died, and he left you everything,” she said. “Both of us still love you so much, Elijah.”
“You mean, I had it all, and you and Peter got nothing?” I asked confused. “I thought you had most of it by what Peter said, but, you had nothing?”
“Peter is proud and loves you very much. He always has. He wouldn’t want you to feel guilty about it,” she said.
“Mom, I’m so sorry. I obviously got wrapped up in my emotions which must have got the better of me. I’ll have to put things right. You nor Peter shouldn’t have had to carry so much guilt and pain,” I said, wanting to make everything better as fast as I could. Shit happened, but you got over it and made the best of it. What kind of cock was I before the accident?
“Thank you, Elijah, for being understanding. It makes me feel much better,” she said. “I’ve missed you for all these years, my boy.” She added as she wrapped her arms around me.
“But why did I disown Peter? Him being gay doesn’t bother me in the slightest. That’s his prerogative, and I support him fully in it.”
“You followed your dad, and you thought you had to be like him. No matter how many times he beat you, you just looked at Peter being gay as a sign of weakness.
“Wow. Fuck that. It’s over now mom. Everything is going to be alright. I promise I’ll put it right,” I added as I hugged her back.
We chatted more about this and other things regarding my childhood, and we settled a lot of differences that would now be buried in the past. After all, she was still my mother.
“Well mom, I should be going. I have a long drive, and it’s nearly dark,” I said as I stood.
We walked to the door, and we hugged, and mom cried some more and apologized for everything she had put me through as a child, and if she had not had an affair, dad would never have started to beat me.
I climbed into the car and headed off on the long drive home and had some new thoughts in my head that I had to deal with.
I headed out to the highway and thought about how much I hurt the people close to me. For years, I had held my mom responsible for my dad’s death and had totally disowned her once he had died. She had obviously tried to make things right, yet I had just put up a wall between us and had shown no signs of letting her into my world.
Peter was a different case altogether. I had not realized he was gay, I had an idea something was up, but gay… I had used this as an excuse, to push him away from me, and he had taken so many beatings from dad when he tried to protect me for all those years.
How could I have been so dysfunctional toward them? And why had they stood by me all of this time?
I now had Kendall to consider, I had hurt the two closest people in my life, and if there were any sign I could hurt Kendall in the same way, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I said as I banged my hand on the steering wheel.
I couldn’t, and I wouldn’t let Kendall go through what my family had been through, and there was only one way I could guarantee this would never happen. I had grown very fond of Kendall and could feel I was falling for her, and I could never hurt her, so I only had one painful solution.
I had to end it.