Chapter Sixteen
Lilah
I woke up with a bit of a hangover. I'd definitely had too much to drink the night before. And that, of course, wasn't the only problem. No, it had merely contributed to the other problem: Asher. Well, Asher and myself. Together. Naked. Doing things that I couldn’t manage to stop thinking about. Things we probably shouldn’t have done.
I guess I wasn't surprised to see that he was gone when I woke up. What was I expecting, anyway? Morning cuddles, or breakfast in bed?
I was feeling a number of things at that moment—a number of conflicting thoughts and emotions, all raging around inside of my mind. For starters, I was upset, but not at Asher. At myself, more than anything, for letting things get that far.
Yet, at the same time, part of me was happy it had happened. I couldn't deny that he had been absolutely amazing in bed. It had been so, so long since I'd experienced such a deep, physical connection with a man. Not even with my ex-fiancé had I felt such an intense tangible attraction.
There had been other men, of course. It wasn't as if I'd been celibate since Jacob and I had parted ways. However, they'd been flings, and they’d been few and far between. I hadn't been willing to let any of them get as close to me, as intimate with me, as Jacob had once been. Because, after all, that would only end with me getting hurt, with me getting my heart broken . . . again. And, I was not about to let that happen.
Yet, there I was, lying naked in bed after a night of passion with my boss, and despite everything, part of me was still craving his presence, still longing for his nude, sculpted body to be alongside mine—and to be inside me.
Somehow, he had made me want him, hunger for him in a way that I hadn't for anyone in years. I couldn’t even say when I last craved a man like I did Asher.
Shaking my head, trying to clear thoughts of him, I walked over to the living room where I'd left my purse and looked through it for my phone. The entire situation was way too confusing to be dealing with in my groggy state of mind. I felt my heart start to beat a little faster as I picked up my purse. Irrational as it was, I couldn't help but hope there'd be a message or missed call from Asher.
There wasn't.
I wasn't sure if I was relieved or upset about the fact that he hadn’t contacted me at all. Especially considering the time—10:00 a.m., way past the hour I usually got up. It really had been quite a night.
Still, seeing if Asher had messaged me hadn't been the primary reason I'd searched for my phone. I needed to make a call. The only way to handle the weirdness of this situation was to talk about it. I needed an unbiased wall to bounce this off of.
I scanned through my contacts and dialed the one I was looking for. She answered after a few short rings.
“Hey, Lilah!”
“Mornin’, Megs, uh . . . How are things?”
“From the sound of your voice, things on my end are better than on yours. What's up?”
“Ugh, I'm a bit hungover, but it'll pass. I had a bit of a, er . . . situation last night. Are you free to meet up? Maybe get some brunch and chat about it?”
“Yeah, of course I am. Crêpes and coffee at the outdoor café by the park near your place?”
“That sounds perfect. See you there in an hour?”
“An hour sounds good. See you then!”
***
I walked up to the café and saw Meg sitting at one of the outdoor tables. She waved at me and greeted me with a big smile.
“Good morning, sunshine! How are you feeling?”
“Hey, Megs. I'm all right, I guess.”
“Hmm, that doesn't sound so convincing. Come on over and have a seat. We'll have a chat about whatever it is that's got you all twisted up.”
I sat down and ordered something to eat and a coffee, then leaned back in my chair and shot a glance at Meg.
“So . . . it happened,” I said.
“What happened?”
“Take a guess.”
A grin slowly started to spread across her face. “Holy hell . . . you slept with Asher, didn't you?!”
I nodded.
“Oh my God! And, well, how was it?”
I tried not to, but I couldn't help but grin. “Amazing. Like, this-only-happens-in-the-movies amazing.”
“Lilah! Seriously! Is he . . . as well-endowed physically as he is financially?” she gave me a questioning grin.
“He's got enough,” I replied with a laugh and a blush. “But most importantly, he knows how to use it. And I mean, he really knows how to use it.”
“I can't believe you! You strumpet,” she teased.
I suddenly couldn't believe I was being so candid about the whole thing. And speaking about it almost as if it was an achievement, rather than what it was—a mistake.
Or had it been a mistake?
I wasn't so sure whether it had been or not. Which was precisely why I had needed to talk it out with Meg, although she wasn't being overly very helpful at the moment.
“All right, all right, enough discussing endowments. I've got a real problem here, Meg, and I need to talk about it.”
“Okay, Lilipop. Sorry, it's just not that often my best friend sleeps with a friggin' billionaire, you know. Still, let's forget the novelty aspect and talk about how it's affecting you because it's obviously getting to you in a major way. Am I right?”
“That you are. I mean, I explained the situation before. He’s my boss. You know how I feel about this.”
“I know you said you weren't sure about how to proceed. And that you were concerned getting involved with this guy would have implications on your career, and that's why you were having doubts about getting involved with him. So what changed?”
“Nothing. At least, not on the surface. After that time we kissed, I did make an effort to put a bit of space between us. And it seemed to work, initially at least. But after a while, looking back, we just started getting closer and closer without consciously trying to do so. We ended up working a lot of late nights together, and it’s so effortless to be myself around him . . . We couldn't help but talk and joke. And, it's been so, so easy to talk to him. It's like we've been friends for years and we’re on the same wavelength, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it. It's easy enough to fire small talk back and forth with a guy, but to find one that you can really have a proper, in-depth conversation with. Well, that’s hard.”
“Exactly, right? Guys you can talk to easily with aren't exactly a dime a dozen. In fact, these days, they're pretty darn rare.”
“I can see how, subconsciously, you'd be falling for him, Lilah. I mean, any woman in your shoes—especially if he's making it obvious that he's got feelings for you—it would be damned hard not to reciprocate those feelings.”
“Yes, and then you throw a little alcohol into the mix . . . Maybe a lot of alcohol . . .”
A knowing glint entered her eyes. “Ah, well now it all makes sense. The hangover, the talk now. You guys slept together last night, didn't you?”
“Yep.”
“I figured it had happened recently, just wouldn’t have initially banked on a few hours ago kind of recently.”
“Yeah.”
“All right. So, we're dealing with a very immediate situation. Has he called or messaged you since last night?”
“Nope. He left before I woke up.”
Meg sipped on her coffee and pondered this for a moment.
“Well, I don't mean to be a drag, but generally that's not the best sign.”
I rolled my eyes. “Uh yeah, ya think?”
I paused, immediately regretting my tone.
“Sorry, Meg, I didn't mean to be bitchy. I'm just, you know, in a bit of a state right now.”
“I understand totally, sweetie. There's nothing to be ashamed of or sorry for. I'm just here to support you, and don't worry, I can handle a bit of bitchy! We’ve been friends for a while, remember?” she shot me a knowing grin.
I laughed, relieved at the brief levity. Still, there were a lot of emotions that still needed to be dealt with.
“Have you tried calling him?” Meg asked.
“No.”
“Good. Don't. I think that you should just wait it out, see if he calls you.”
“Yeah, I guess that's the most sensible course of action to take.”
“What's happened has happened, Lilah, and there's nothing you can do to change it. The only things you need to be thinking about now are how will you proceed from here? And, are you going to let this affect me at work?”
I sipped on my coffee while thinking on these two questions. Eventually, I answered.
“I'm not sure how I'm going to proceed long term,” I replied, “but short term, I think that I'm going to try to keep my distance at work. I'll just have to be more determined and focused about it.”
“What if he calls you, like, this afternoon or this evening?”
“I won't answer.”
“And, what if he doesn't call you?”
“It'll just strengthen my resolve even more. There's no way I'm going to let myself get emotionally distraught about this. No. Way.”
“You say that now—”
“And, I mean it.” I insisted.
“Well, if you do start to feel like a bit of a wreck, I'm just saying, if you do—”
“I'll call you. Don't worry, Meg. I know who's in my corner.”
“Always in your corner, Lilipop, always. So, do you wanna take a stroll and go feed the ducks in the pond? And by feed the ducks, I mean watch the hot guys jogging in the park. It's a beautiful day, and it'll get your mind off things—at least temporarily.”
“Yeah,” I said, somewhat absentmindedly. “Take my mind off things. Because hot guys will make me not think of the hot guy.” I smiled.
“You’ll thank me later,” Meg said as she dropped some cash on the table and grabbed my hand to pull me out of the chair. “Let’s go.”