Chapter Thirty-Two
Nalia
“No, that light goes over there. They like it for photos.”
I put my hands on my hips and watched as the stage hand moved the light for the fourth time, judging it with a critical eye. I had been doing a great deal of that lately, second guessing myself, and I knew exactly why. It was because I couldn’t concentrate, and I hadn’t been able to truly stay focused over the last month.
After the night in Owen’s penthouse, when I had seen those photos of him and the other woman, I had kept my distance, bidding a silent—and permanent—farewell to anything we had once had together...if you could even say we’d actually had anything together. I was probably just fooling myself all along.
I’d gone over it and over it in my head a thousand times. The conclusion I had finally come to grips with was that I had latched onto Owen at the completely wrong point in both of our lives, and since it was quite clear that he had never had a single thought in relation to possibly having something with me, I had decided to do the same.
After all, I was with the band, right? Wasn’t it all supposed to be free love? Wasn’t is all supposed to be attachment-free, guilt-free? Everyone always says that you're only young once. They say you have to go out and live while you’re young. They say to have a wild and crazy time while you still can.
But it seemed that maybe that was all just an illusion. Maybe people were always going to hurt each other even if there was never intention of more than having a good time—just like Owen had hurt me. Maybe I had hurt him, too. I doubted that was the case, but I supposed it was possible. After all, I hadn’t told Owen the reason I was avoiding him.
Part of me didn’t feel as though I owed him a reason. Part of me just didn’t want to face him. Instead, I had simply been choosing to leave the room whenever I could if he was present. Not once had I given myself any opportunity to be alone in case he decided that he wanted answers.
And considering all the phone calls, I was guessing he did. I knew if I found myself alone with him, he would demand an explanation for what had been going on, and I would probably cave and give it to him.
What I was most concerned about was saying too much, giving more than just a reason. My feelings had become too involved, too raw, and too painful to be able to explain. And while some would call me a coward—and maybe they would be right for doing so—the fact was that I simply couldn’t do it. I couldn’t find the words without revealing my true feelings for him.
So, with this in mind, I had done the only thing that I knew to do: I cut off all direct contact with him and then avoided him as best I could. I admit, I harbored a slight sense of shame for my behavior, but it was outweighed by anger and disappointment when I thought back over it all. Of course, what could I really do?
“They’re fighting!” a voice called from the side of the stage, pulling me out of my mental turmoil of thoughts and emotions.
I looked up to see Jay in the doorway, a concerned look on his face. “What? Who’s fighting?”
“Owen and Talon,” he said, slightly out of breath. “They're fighting! Totally going at it, fists out, knock down, drag out! We have to do something!”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I blurted out.
“Wish I were,” Jay fired back.
Great! I thought as I hurried toward the door Jay was holding and then on to the smaller stage where they were practicing. Brothers fighting was all we needed. If this made its way onto social media, it would mean an even more massive workload for me, and the last thing I wanted to do was explain why the two brothers who were famous for being such great friends were getting into fist fights with each other.
I hurried to the stage and climbed up, gasping at the sight of the two brothers rolling around on the floor, each trying to block the other’s punches. I had never seen either of them so red faced and full of anger, and they definitely looked as if they could really beat the hell out of one another.
Looking up at the group, I pointed to the mess of jumbled up limbs and couldn’t believe no one had managed to break them up. “Somebody stop them!” I commanded.
If one of them got hurt this close to the end of the tour, it would be impossible to find a replacement. Not to mention, it would mean the entire tour would end disastrously and most likely totally ruin the success we had accomplished up to this point. I mean, how do you replace the lead singer of a band in the middle of the tour?
A few of the stagehands grumbled, but dutifully stepped in. And after a bit of swearing and scuffling, they eventually succeeded in pulling Owen and Talon off of each other, though it did take a few attempts.
I immediately stepped in between the two brothers as Talon rose from the floor, his shirt ripped in more than one place and a cut across his forehead bleeding. Owen didn’t look any better, his white t-shirt dirtied with flecks of blood, his lip cut, swollen, and bleeding.
“What the hell are you both trying to do? Destroy this band and absolutely ruin the rest of the tour? Can’t you two manage to keep it together for one more night? Is that really so damn difficult to do?”
“He started it,” Talon grumbled like a five-year-old who had just been caught fighting on the playground.
“Shut the hell up,” Owen growled, his eyes narrowing at his brother. “You fight like a pussy.”
“Just quit it, both of you,” I announced loudly, securing the attention of everyone present in the otherwise empty stadium. “Stop acting like a bunch of damn elementary school kids fighting over who got picked last at kickball and just get it together, for Christ’s sake. If you don’t, I swear to God I will call off this concert tonight, and then I'll leave you two to deal with the pissed off fans.”
They both stood silently staring at the stage floor.
“And which one of you dumbasses is gonna pay for my busted guitar?” Jeremiah asked from the wings of the stage, holding up his guitar in two pieces held together only by the strings.
Owen sighed loudly and raked a hand through his hair. Our eyes collided, and a painful reality hit me head on. There was hurt, anger, and sadness staring back at me, and I knew right away that it wasn’t all directed at his brother.
It was a stab to the heart, but what could I do? I had seen the way that girl had kissed him in that photo, and from where I was standing, it didn’t appear as if he hadn’t done a single thing to stop her. Hell, he had probably been sleeping with anything he could get his hands on—including me, of course.
The thought wounded me more than anything. The last thing I had expected was to get emotionally involved, but that’s exactly what had happened. Now, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't control how I felt. Even after washing my hands of it and avoiding Owen and whatever it was that we’d had together as best I could, looking into his eyes scared me to death.
“Let’s just get back to practicing,” Owen finally said, tearing his gaze away from mine. He turned to Jeremiah and inhaled sharply, his shoulder slumping in defeat. “It was my fault. I’ll buy you a new guitar later, Jeremiah. Right now; sorry, man, I guess you'll just have to use your backup. We do have a gig to play in just a few hours.”
Seeing my out, I stepped off stage and walked out into the stadium where chairs had been positioned for the highest paying concert goers. The stage hands picked up the tumbled drums and put them back into place, then everyone took their respective positions. They launched into one of their ballads as I sat down on a chair, watching as they performed.
Unfortunately, the song they began to play had always been one of those that got to me. The way Owen sang it was soul wrenching and, at that moment, it was stabbing at my heart more than usual. His voice worked its way through what felt like every vein in my body, filling every hurting corner of my soul. When his eyes met mine, I was forced to look away from him, afraid that I would burst into tears at any moment. He owned that stage just like he owned my heart without even trying. Damn him.
I somehow made it through the rest of the set without losing it. When they were done, I watched as Owen stalked off the stage without another glance in my direction. It shouldn’t have bothered me. After all, that was how I had planned for it to be. I just hadn’t accounted for how much it would hurt to know that I was done with him.
Talon walked my way as I stood to go, blocking my path. “You’ve got to talk to him.”
I rubbed my arms with my hands, warding off the coolness I felt. “What?”
“This...this whatever you had with my brother, I don't know how you want to classify it, but whatever it was, you have to talk to him about it. He’s being a total dick to everyone, and I, for one, can’t take it anymore. I mean, look at the shit that's just happened!”
“That’s not my fault,” I shot back, aware of the anger glowing in his stare. I wasn’t about to tell him that his brother was a total douche. He probably already knew.
Talon took a step toward me, his fists clenched at his sides. “Yes, this is your fault, Nalia. God, you really are totally blind to how he feels about you, to how much he cares about you, aren’t you? The man has been sleeping by himself for the last month, right down the hall. And when he’s not sleeping, he’s in a mood that, frankly, I’m sick and tired of. So, quit dicking him around and wrap this, whatever it is, up with him. Sort it out, and stop avoiding the damn issue.”
Hurt and angry, I pushed away from him. “Do you have any idea what he did? This is not my fault! Quit sticking up for him! If he cared about me at all, he wouldn’t have…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
Talon looked at me for a moment, recognition dawning on his face. “Shit. You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
Tears blurred my eyes, and I stepped around him, not wanting him to see me cry. Yes, I was in love with a man I couldn’t trust, a man I couldn’t have. I was so done with this entire business, with every one of these assholes! I couldn’t take another minute of dealing with it all. They could pull another woman out of the crowd tonight to be their assistant, because I was through.