I know we said that we were going to be friends, but I couldn’t take it. I loved talking and laughing with her, but there wasn’t enough.

I thought platonic friendship could ease my cravings for her, but it just made them more intense. I wanted to stroke her silky hair and look into her big, brown eyes. I watched her lips as she talked and I wanted to feel them against mine.

Having a lot of people around made it easier to deal with the longing. Rumors would start if people saw us kissing or holding hands, and that would not help her situation with her parents. I didn’t even know her parents and I hated them.

I was talking with some guys from the team and the next thing I knew, she was sitting on the couch with a drink in one hand, and her head resting on the other. She’s completely trashed. That’s not usually a great look on most girls, but she still managed to look cute. Her sleepy smile was so sweet.

I commented on how drunk she was and she tried to say the same about me. I had plenty of drinks, but I rarely get drunk. Once again, she out drank me. Sasha said she didn’t have supper, so that probably wasn’t helping.

To be honest, I was a little worried about her. She hadn’t given me details, but what she said about being cut off and disowned was troubling. I wanted to reassure her and tell her everything would be fine, but I didn’t know that. I certainly couldn’t help her out in that department.

Seeing how drunk she was, I suppose I should have expected some PDA, but I didn’t and was caught off guard when she placed her hand on my knee. I nearly jumped off the couch when she ran her hand up my leg.

I didn’t want anyone to see, but I didn’t want her to stop. I was getting turned on and debating whether I should try to make a move on her or not. On one hand, my bedroom was just a few feet away. On the other hand, my dorm was filled with a bunch of people.

She got up to get another drink. I was about to tell her that I didn’t think it was a good idea, but if I knew anything about Alexa, it was that no one told her what to do.

As soon as she got up, Donny plopped down in her place.

“Dude, you gotta hit that tonight,” Donny said.

“Don’t you have somewhere you should be?” I pleaded.

“Nah, bro, I’ve come to give you some advice.”

“What do you possibly know that I don’t?”

“I’ve known you for three years now,” he said. “You could get all the girls you want. Chicks go crazy for the quarterback. It wouldn’t even matter if you were weird or ugly. Girls would still eat that shit up.”

“Thanks,” I said dryly.

“All I’m saying is, drunk girls are easy. Cheerleaders are pretty easy, too. This one is especially hot. If you don’t do her, I will.”

I pushed him away from me.

“What makes you think that she would want you?” I asked, getting angrier by the second.

“I don’t know about her, but I’m sure her parents would be okay with it.”

This struck a nerve.

“Please leave,” I begged. Alexa would be back any second and I didn’t want Donny to be sitting here when she did.

“Not until you promise me you’ll have sex with her tonight.”

“Okay, okay, fine,” I said quickly. Anything to make him leave us alone.

Instead of sitting back down on the couch, Alexa gave me what I think was meant to be a “come hither look.”

Her eyes were a little sleepy so it was hard to tell. She strutted into my bedroom, and shut the door halfway. Donny let out a whoop, and I returned it with a glare. I didn’t want anyone to spoil this for me. The party was winding down, and I hoped that everyone would leave us alone.

She sat on my bed and unstrapped her heels. She inched toward my pillows and patted the mattress next to her. I quickly obliged.

She rested her head against my shoulder, just like the night of our kiss. I was hoping we’d get further this time.

“This is…friendly,” I said, breaking the silence.

“I know I said I just wanted to be friends, but you look too good not to touch,” she slurred.

“You look amazing too,” I said. “When your hand was on my leg, I wanted to pick you up and throw you on my bed.”

She giggled. “I would have loved that.”

I thought about all the things I wanted to do to her. She’d probably like that too. I was a little worried she was too down for anything. She was pretty drunk. I’d had drunk sex before, and it was never as good as it was sober. What if the first time was sloppy and awkward? What if she woke up tomorrow with a hangover and regret? What if she didn’t even remember it at all?

I wanted her, but not like this. She was so drunk she could hardly stand. I thought about what Donny said and it made me feel queasy. I wasn’t looking for a one night stand. I wanted her and I to still be friends, or something more, in the morning.

“Let’s watch a movie,” I suggested, hoping she’d sober up a little.

“Okay,” she said, as she slid under my sheets.

I chose a movie at random, knowing that we were probably both too distracted to even watch. I put my arm around her shoulders and she took my face in her hands and kissed me, hard. Her tongue was in my mouth; she tasted like a mixed drink. She straddled me and pulled my shirt over my head. Her hands were soft, slowing sliding down my sides.

She fumbled with the button on my pants. I stopped her, but I doubted that she had the dexterity at this point to get them open. Having her on top of me was unbearably arousing.

I tried to slow things down by laying her on the bed, but that only prompted her to pull her top off. She struggled with her jeans for a while before kicking them off onto the floor. She was down to just her underwear and bra and I wanted to take in the magnificent sight. I laid on my side and pulled her close to me, wanting to touch as much of her as I could.

“You’re so incredibly beautiful. Do you know that?” I said. Of course, she knew, but I couldn’t stop telling her that.

She smiled at me with closed eyes.

“Are you falling asleep?” I asked.

“No, I’m awake,” she responded, eyes still closed.

“Do you like me?” I asked. It seemed like such a childish question, but I wanted to know.

“Yes,” she mumbled. “Do you like me?”

“More than you can imagine.”

I held her in my arms and listened to our front door open and shut. The party was over, and I had Alexa all to myself. I figured if everyone was gone, I’d run out to the kitchen and get some water and snacks to help sober her up.

I peeled her hands off of me, threw on a shirt, and grabbed two bottles of water and a box of crackers from the empty kitchen.

I asked her if she wanted a snack, but she didn’t respond. I gently shook her and she let out a snore. I couldn’t help but let out a groan.

“Oh, Alexa,” I whispered. “We have the worst timing.”

Since I had snacks and the movie was still on, there was no point in bothering her. I’d let her sleep it off and make her breakfast in the morning to ease her inevitable hangover. When I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore, I stripped off my shirt and pants. I often sleep in the nude, so I was providing her a courtesy by leaving my underwear on.

I figured she would be fine with me sleeping next to her. After all, she was trying to get me naked before she fell asleep. I kissed her on the head and rolled her onto her side in case she got sick during the night.

I rolled the other way, hoping that just once, everything in the universe would align so we could have one perfect night together.

Maybe our relationship wasn’t meant to be perfect. Maybe she would always keep me guessing. Maybe this would all implode, and I would be turned into dust, her shining bright as ever.

I didn’t care. Against my better judgment, I would do whatever it took to be with her.