Sasha found me in my closet on Saturday afternoon pushing past rows of dresses and skirts.

“Looking for something to wear to dinner tonight?” she asked as I picked up a black Calvin Klein dress and held it against my body.

“Yeah, but nothing seems quite right for this occasion. What dress says ‘I’m at this lovely restaurant against my will’?”

“I think I have the perfect thing,” Sasha said and raced out of the room.

I picked up a custom made dress that I got when I went to China with my dad a few years ago. It was too pretty to waste on such an awful occasion.

Sasha came back in with a very plain, very shapeless dress. The hem hit my leg a few inches below the knee and the sleeves went just past my elbows.

“Where did you get this?” I said carefully. I didn’t want to insult her choice of clothing, but it would not be flattering on anyone.

“I bought it a while back for job interviews. It’s conservative enough to wear to a nice restaurant, but unflattering enough that Sebastian won’t find you as delicious as usual. Oh, and I bought it for twenty dollars, so your mom will be absolutely appalled.”

“This is perfect,” I smiled. “Which shoes should I wear with it?”

“Go with the black kitten heels. They say, ‘I’m a classy lady who isn’t here to impress.’”

I laughed at this. Sasha always gave the best advice.

“And make sure you order something messy, like spaghetti,” she added. “No one looks ladylike eating spaghetti. If you have sauce on your face, maybe it will deter Sebastian from trying to kiss you.”

“And if I ask for a lot of cheese on top, my mother will worry that I’m going to get fat!” I couldn’t stop giggling.

“Maybe it won’t be so bad, after all,” Sasha said.

“I hope not.”

* * *

When I got to the restaurant, my parents and Sebastian were already there. My dad looked tired, like he had been arguing with my mom and lost. My mom looked gorgeous as ever, eyebrows arched as though she recently had some stuff injected in her face.

Sebastian looked nervous, but dapper as always, dressed in a suit that he paid someone to pick out for him.

First, I hugged my dad. I love my dad and have always felt closer to him than I’ve ever been with my mom. He usually took my side in all matters, but there was no competing against my mom’s wishes.

Over the years, he’s managed to defend me a few times, which is no easy task. He also doesn’t come from money, which I think has made him more sensible about matters relating to social status.

My dad is extremely smart and helped start a software company back when computers were just hitting the market. He sold the company for millions of dollars and still works in technology. He was once just a handsome nerd wanting to get his ideas out into the world. Overnight, he became a millionaire and shortly after, he met my mom. She taught him how to navigate his new wealth and lifestyle and they got married and had me.

My mom comes from a completely different background. Her family has been rich for a long time. Her great-grandfather struck it rich with oil, and the money has been passed down from generation to generation.

Just like how money was passed down, so was the belief that the women in the family did not need to work. Besides occasional charity work or any kind of work that increased their celebrity, women were to stay away from the workforce.

Having a career of their own made it appear that their husbands couldn’t support them, and that was a major embarrassment. College was generally unnecessary for these women, because it distracted them from finding husbands and settling down.

My mother was a fairly successful model, mostly for the attention. She retired once she had me.

When I look at my parents’ life together, I often wonder if they are truly happy. Sure, my secretly nerdy father married a hot model, and my mom married a successful man, but besides that, what did they have in common?

Was it possible for two people, from two very separate backgrounds, to make it work? I thought about my brief courtship with Sebastian. We’re basically cut from the same cloth, but nothing is happening, so maybe it doesn’t matter that much, anyway.

The moment I sat down at the table, the waiter appeared with a drink menu. I ordered a glass of Pinot Noir without looking at the drink menu. My mom ordered a martini and Sebastian ordered some rare whiskey that I had never heard of. My friends tend to drink the cheaper stuff.

“Alexa,” my dad said cheerfully. “How was the last game? I wanted to come, but I had to travel for work.”

“It was great. I was really worried they were going to lose. We were down by eight with just minutes to go, and—“

I heard my mom let out a tiny, bored sigh.

“We won,” I finished. “It was good.”

“That quarterback they have is really something, isn’t he?” my dad said.

Yeah, he’s something, alright, I thought to myself.

“What’s his name?” my dad asked.

“Martin Thomas,” I said quickly.

“Yeah, that’s it. He’s fun to watch,” my dad said, blissfully clueless about all of the drama that unfolded last weekend. My dad and I are close, but not close enough that I would feel comfortable having that kind of conversation with him.

“Alexa,” my mom said. “Have you put any more thought into where you’ll be summering this year? We’ll be in the Hamptons again, with the Fields family, of course. I really think you should spend the summer with us. You spend enough time with your school friends now.”

“I don’t know yet,” I replied. “It’s too soon to make any plans.”

“You’re twenty-one years old, Alexa,” my mom said. “You should have made your future plans a long time ago. You’re lucky we’ve supported your silly college dream for this long.”

My dad looked away. I could tell he didn’t agree. He was always proud of me for getting into Princeton, and wanted me to do my own thing.

“We just want you to be happy, Alexa,” she continued. “You deserve to have a nice man to take care of you.”

At this, Sebastian reached under the table and rested his hand on my thigh. I flinched. I didn’t want to cause a scene, so I didn’t push his hand away.

“If you want,” my dad said carefully, “you can come work for my company. I need someone to help run charity events. It’s not a full-time job, you’d only have to work a few times a month.”

“Thanks for the offer,” I said. “But you know that I want to be a teacher. I’ve worked very hard to get good grades in my major. This is what I want to do.”

“What does a teacher even make?” my mom said, raising her voice.

Luckily, the waiter came back at that moment with our drinks. Everyone paused to take a long sip.

“Sebastian,” my dad quickly changed the subject. “How is law school going?”

“It’s going very well. In another year, I’ll join the firm, and a few years after that, I hope to be made partner.”

“Wow, that’s very impressive,” my mom gushed. “Don’t you think so, Alexa?”

“Yes, very impressive,” I mimicked my mom, who glared at me from across the table.

The waiter returned and asked for our orders. My mom got a salad, dressing on the side. My father ordered the sea bass and Sebastian ordered a steak and baked potato.

I quickly scanned the menu and found what I was looking for—Spaghetti Bolognese with extra cheese on top.

When the food arrived, I dug in as if I hadn’t eaten in days. I could see my mom studying me from behind forkfuls of her salad. It made me feel uneasy, like she knew something that I didn’t.

Sebastian hardly touched his food at all. I felt uncomfortable being here, so he must have felt ten times worse. He kept looking over at me, and then he would quickly look away. Finally, he slammed his fork down on the table. I was so startled that I nearly choked on a noodle.

“Alexa,” he said, grabbing my hand. “I can’t wait any longer. I need to tell you something.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Yes?”

“You are the most beautiful girl I have ever had the pleasure to know. I think about you every day, and I hope you think about me, too. I’m going to be very successful, very soon, and I know I can give you everything you want and need. We could build a beautiful family together.”

I looked over at my dad. His head was bowed and his jaw was clenched. Next, I looked at my mom. She was dabbing at the tears in her eyes and had a wide smile on her face. Then I looked back at Sebastian. He was slightly sweaty and had a nervous smile.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say,” I replied, truthfully.

“While I was at law school,” he said. “I realized that I would never find a girl as perfect as you. You are beautiful, elegant, and intelligent. You will make a wonderful wife and mother.”

This creeped me out. I figured he was still into me, but I wasn’t expecting a declaration of undying love, or whatever this was. I was trying to figure out how to shut this down in the nicest way possible.

Ew, get away from me was probably not my best option. Maybe I could say, I’m very flattered, Sebastian, but I don’t think of you that way. Let’s remain friends. Yeah, that was good.

“I’m very flatter—“ I started when he pushed himself back from the table and got down on one knee.

“Alexa,” he said, his hands and voice shaking, as he pried open a box, revealing a massive solitaire diamond engagement ring. “Please marry me and give us the future we both deserve.”

Almost everything was perfect. The restaurant was beautiful, with enormous crystal chandeliers and soft strings music playing. The ring was absolutely beautiful and had to have cost a small fortune. But the man was all wrong.

“Not you,” I murmured.

“Alexa!” my mom scolded.

“How dare you!” I said to everyone at the table.

We all sat quietly in shock. I was angry at my dad for not trying to stop this, and at the very least, not warning me. I was furious at my mom for setting this up. I was angry, but also felt a little sorry for Sebastian. How was he so delusional to think that I would say yes?

My mom has done a great number of things to upset me in my life. I can forgive her for the smaller things, like not letting me play sports. Or making me go to mother-daughter society luncheons that were incredibly boring.

I can even forgive her for all of the cruel things she’s said to me about my education and my passion for teaching. But this was unforgivable. She put me in a terribly awkward position and tried to change the whole trajectory of my life, without taking into account what I actually wanted.

I stood up quickly and immediately felt dizzy.

“I need to get some air,” I said breathlessly.

I walked briskly to the door, past staring customers and waiters. I pushed open the doors and felt the chill of the night air on my body. I pulled off my strappy heels and I started running. I didn’t know where I was running, but in that moment, I felt free.