When you keep secrets for so long, it feels as though a part of you has completely left your body when you finally reveal them.

I felt lighter, like I had removed a burden. I just hoped that she didn’t feel the burden knowing about my past. I trusted her, though. That must mean something.

I tried to watch Alexa’s facial expressions when I was telling her everything, but I couldn’t quite read what was going through her mind. Of course, she was shocked and curious.

My family drama was the stuff of reality television. In fact, my dad was once approached for a celebrity rehab show, but the deal fell through when my mom wouldn’t sign a release. They wanted to feature the whole family. It would have brought more money in, but it also would have humiliated us all in the process.

Alexa nodded as I explained things, but I wasn’t sure she could comprehend it all. I wasn’t even sure if she knew how things like bills and credit card debt even worked.

I knew her dad worked, but I don’t think she understood the concept of working overtime or having multiple jobs just to get by. I had overheard her in the past referring to middle class people as poor. We were poor and my dad was trailer trash. We were like the princess and the pauper.

Perhaps it was because I revealed a dark secret about my life, but suddenly, I felt too exposed. I grabbed a clean pair of underwear and shorts and pulled them on. I was exhausted. Between the intense, physical sex and the airing of emotional baggage, I was drained.

“Tell me more about your family,” I said, laying back and closing my eyes.

“You already know that they have a lot of money and like to control my life. What else is there?” she asked.

“I gave you the gritty details of my family life,” I argued. “Tell me your secrets.”

“Well, you already know that my father didn’t come from much but struck it rich with technology. My mom is from a wealthy family and has never worked a day in her life.”

“What exactly does she do all day? I’ve never really understood that part.”

“There are lots of ways to occupy your time if you have the funds. She spends a few hours every day gossiping, either at brunch, at the country club, or just on the phone. You also have to do occasional charity work to make it appear that you care about the welfare of others.

However, you do this in ways that display wealth. You hold charity balls and ask for $10,000 a plate. You pay for the addition of a new wing of the local hospital. People eat that shit up.”

“If your mom hates people from meager backgrounds, how did your parents ever meet?” I asked.

“He had money by the time they were introduced. If they had met just a few months earlier, they would have never gotten together.”

“But they love each other despite the money, right?”

“My dad adores my mom. I think he fears her, too. He can’t say no to her about anything. It’s borderline abuse, the way she controls him. She once let it slip that she believed marriage was a way for rich women to continue living their current lifestyle. I’m not convinced that she loves him in a conventional way. Arranged marriages appeal to her. Love is not a good enough reason to devote your life to someone. There must be money involved.”

“So what do you think about marriage?” I asked.

“I try not to think about it at all,” she joked. “But I definitely don’t share the same viewpoint.”

“That’s a relief,” I said. “I don’t want to get married until I’m sure it’s right.”

Finally, someone got it. I never understood why so many girls stressed out about finding future husbands in college. College was for preparing yourself for life success; not hitching yourself to a man’s future.

“I’m an only child, but I wish I weren’t,” she continued. “All of the focus has always been on me. It would have been nice to have another sibling to take some of the heat off of me.”

“Well, you don’t have any siblings that you’re aware of,” I joked.

“I kind of wish I did. Maybe we would have been able to fight back against my mom. She never let me do anything I wanted to do as a child,” she frowned.

“What did you want to do?” I asked.

“More than anything, I wanted to play sports.”

“Really?” I knew a lot of cheerleaders. Most were not into athletics.

“My mother said it was too dangerous, but she meant that she didn’t want me to ruin my good looks in any way. If I came home from elementary school with dirt on my clothes or messy hair, she would throw a fit. Any bruise or scrape was covered with her makeup so I never looked anything less than perfect.”

“She put makeup on you as a child?” That seemed pretty messed up.

“Yeah, you should have seen me when she entered me in pageants. I hated having to spend hours getting ready, just to walk around the stage and do a stupid dance. I wanted to play soccer and volleyball like the other girls, but she wouldn’t allow that kind of ‘rough play’.”

“So you didn’t play any sports at all?” The concept seemed foreign to me. Sports were my life.

“I did gymnastics to help my cheerleading. My mom put me in golf and tennis lessons when I was younger. She only compromised on sports that would suit me in a country club setting. I begged her to play contact sports, but she always said no.”

I felt sorry for Alexa. I just assumed that having money meant that nothing was off limits to her.

Now it seemed like everything was off limits to her. Sports were my outlet and my escape from all of the crap I endured at home. It was my ticket out of my poor childhood.

My mom supported everything I wanted to do as long as we had the money for it. Alexa had the money, but no support to do what she wanted.

“Sometimes, when my mom wasn’t around,” she said. “My nanny would throw around the football with me.”

I reached under my bed and picked up a slightly deflated football.

“Prove it,” I challenged.

She pulled back the covers, walked to the other side of the room, and threw a pretty solid spiral. I was impressed.

“I’m a bit rusty,” she defended herself.

“No, that was great,” I beamed.

“So yeah, I think my nanny took pity on me. She practically raised me. My mother used me as a trophy, parading me around at all the social events. She didn’t have much use for me otherwise.”

“That can’t possibly be true,” I interrupted. It was too horrible to be true.

“I don’t know anymore,” she sighed. “I just know that I wasn’t able to make many of my own decisions. She’s probably messed me up for life.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said. “You seem remarkably well-adjusted.”

“So do you,” she said. “But now my mom won’t let me choose who to marry. I’ve told you about Sebastian, right?”

“You told me some stuff, but I don’t know why your mom is so hung up on him. You would think that if you said no to him, she’d just find another suitor for you.”

“Well,” she continued. “My mom and his parents go way back. I think they had vacation homes in the same neighborhood. Once she heard that he was in law school, she wanted us to be together. Sebastian’s dad is a high-profile attorney, so naturally, he’ll join their firm. It’s a pretty sweet gig for him; all he has to do is scrape by in school and pass the bar exam and he’s at one of the nation’s top law firms.”

“Yeah,” I interrupted. “But what if he’s a terrible lawyer? Your mom has to account for the chance that he could be a dud.”

“Oh, it doesn’t even matter. He’s good for his money, and my mom knows it.”

“What’s this guy even like?” I shouldn’t be asking, but I was curious. I wanted to hear that he was terrible and she would never consider him.

“He’s not that bad,” she said, my heart sinking. “He’s a few years older than me. He’s always been nice to me, but that’s not saying much. I think he’s kind of arrogant. I also suspect that he’s not incredibly smart. Who chases after a girl who is clearly unavailable?”

I raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to catch what she said.

“Oh, you know what I mean,” she blushed. “I rejected him in a very public proposal. There’s no coming back from that.”

“I should hope not,” I responded. “But just imagine the story you could tell your children.”

She playfully smacked me in the arm. “That means I would have to have sex with him, and I’m not interested.”

“I’m starting to think that you’re more damaged than me,” I said.

“You might be right,” she agreed.

I never thought we would ever have anything in common, but the more I talked to her, the more the similarities became apparent. We were two people who had future goals and wanted to do things our way. We both had plenty of family drama that would ruin most people. Somehow, we managed to make it to our final months at an Ivy League school. Our futures were uncertain, but we were going to be okay.

There was a loud knock on the door.

“Is everybody decent in there?” Reg asked. “It’s been long enough. We’re opening the door. If you haven’t figured things out by now, you never will.”

The door swung open before we could reply and then both Sasha and Reg were standing in my doorway. Alexa and I were still sitting under the covers, with my arm around her.

“This is the most precious thing I have ever seen,” Sasha squealed. “I see you worked things out.”

“Yep, we’re good,” I said.

“Does this mean you’re officially a couple?” Sasha asked.

Alexa and I looked at each other.

I couldn’t answer for her. If it were up to me, I would say yes. I wanted to spend all of my time with her.

Alexa could sense my hesitation. She reached over and gave my hand a squeeze.

“Yeah,” Alexa said casually. “I guess we are.”

Sasha shrieked with joy. “Finally! Everyone knew this was inevitable. You two were the only people in the whole world that didn’t see this coming.”

“Today has been exhausting,” Reg said. “I’m going to bed.”

“Wait, what time is it?” I said.

“It’s nearly ten,” he answered with a yawn.

I couldn’t believe it. Alexa had been by my side for over twenty four hours. It was great, but I was pretty exhausted as well. Also, I needed to leave my room to find food.

Alexa got up and grabbed her belongings that were scattered across my room. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she promised, giving me a quick peck on the lips.

Alexa and Sasha returned to their dorm. It didn’t seem real; we were a couple. I went from having her hating me to dating me in the span of one day. I thought that was pretty good.