The longer Chipper’s gone, the more I miss him. The more I miss him, the more I feel the loss of my mother. Soon, I can barely focus on helping Bianca Bella in the kitchen. I stand next to her, struggling against my hot tears.

“I cry three times a week,” Bianca Bella announces while cutting green apples. “I enjoy crying, and I’m fairly certain it’s good for weight loss.”

“What do you cry about?” I ask, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand.

“Oh, lots of stuff. My parents getting older. My ass getting bigger. Starving children. Abused puppies. Missing my prom because no one asked me to go, and I was too much of a pussy to go stag. Basically, anything that might get the tears to flow. Then I sit back and pour out my old liquids before replenishing them with new, better ones.”

Watching her, I take forever to spit out the painful, although obvious words. “I miss my mom.”

“Of course, you do,” she says, hugging me. “She was your mom, and she loved you like no one else ever could.”

Bianca Bella’s words cut me deeply, unleashing an ocean of sorrow. She leads me to the couch and wraps her arm around my shoulders.

“So many great things are happening to me,” I say between sobs, “and I can’t share them with Mom. Plus, they wouldn’t be happening if she hadn’t died. When I feel blessed to have Chipper, that means Mom dying was a blessing too. It makes me feel so guilty.”

Bianca Bella hugs me tighter. “You could see your current blessings as your mother’s spirit guiding you. She’s here with you, leading you to Chipper so you wouldn’t be alone.”

My breath catches, and I ask, “Do you really believe that?”

“Yes, I do. You and her were close, right?” Once I nod, she caresses my head. “She knew you still needed her. That’s why you found Chipper. Your mom brought you together, so you’d have someone to love you.”

Her words break something loose inside me, and my sobs come in violent bursts. Bianca Bella pats a small pillow on her lap that I rest my head on. Curled up on the couch, I cry like a baby while she rubs my head.

I imagine my mom bringing Chipper into my life. Of all the nights for him to visit Salty Peanuts, he chose the one when I was on a suicide mission. I can’t imagine Mom choosing a more amazing man. Plus, Chipper has a family and friends along with a home and a town he loves. Chipper offers me a new life with endless experiences removed from the one I had back with Mom in Florida.

My tears slow a few times before I see my mom’s face so clearly in my mind. She feels close enough to touch, but I’ll never hug her again.

The dogs stare at us, whining occasionally when I don’t shut up. Their concern finally makes me laugh.

“Big mistake,” Bianca Bella say as they hurry over to lick my wet face.

Still laughing, I gently push them away until they get the message.

“You know, when Cricket got twin-preggo by Poet, my life became a mess,” Bianca Bella says. “It went from easy fun with Chipper and Cricket to chaos. Suddenly, we weren’t The Three Musketeers. There was a new person around and then his family and then the mini-twins. If it weren’t for my mom, I’d have been a complete basket case after all the changes. She and I talked a lot and then we went on a cruise. It allowed me to get my shit together and return to White Horse with a new perspective. My point is that moms are great. So if yours was here to talk to, what would you tell her about Chipper?”

Exhaling unsteadily, I whisper, “I’d tell her he has sexy, full lips like the men she talked about from her romance novels. Also how he isn’t hairy like the men on the beaches that she’d make fun of. The bears with the hairy chests and backs. Chipper only has a bit of hair in the middle of his chest between his hard muscles. She’d like that. She always said hairy men scared her because of a bad date she had as a teen.”

“What else?” Bianca Bella asks in a soft voice I imagine a child would love.

“I’d tell her about Chipper’s confidence. He’s so arrogant, but it’s not a bad thing. It should irritate me how he’s always joking around, but it doesn’t. His confidence creates a strong, safe bubble around him that I want to live inside. Chipper’s so casually fearless. I get nervous in new situations and with new people. I’m overwhelmed by everything, but he just strolls through life with a smile on his face. It’s intoxicating to be close to someone like him.”

“Does he take good care of you?”

“In so many ways, yes. Just his happy demeanor keeps me from sinking too low. I’m like one of those hot air balloons unable to get off the ground without him blowing his hot air. His giant ego keeps me afloat. I know Mom might not understand that because she thought arrogant men were all like Howler. She used to say, ‘Power makes men mean and selfish.’ She’d never met anyone like Chipper, though, and he’s someone special.”

“What would you say if she was worried about you rushing into things with Chipper?”

“I’d remind her that she had such a short life. There were so many dreams she never made real,” I say, crying again. “I’d tell her I was drowning without her, and Chipper saved me.”

“And what if he fails you one day and breaks your heart like Howler did hers?”

Regaining control of my tears, I explain, “Mom said having me was worth all the pain she suffered from Howler’s cruelty. I’d tell her that every minute with Chipper is worth a lifetime of possible pain later. I don’t know if she could understand because she never loved or trusted a man like I love and trust Chipper, but I hope she would see how happy he makes me.”

“I think she does see, Tatum,” Bianca Bella says, running her fingers along my scalp. “I bet she hears your sorrow but sees also your joy. I can’t prove it, and people might say I’m crazy, but that’s what I believe in my heart.”

Smiling, I nod. “I believe it too.”

Bianca Bella and I remain on the couch for what feels like only a short amount of time but must be longer because soon I hear Chipper and Cricket’s voices at the front door. They rush into the room, chatting loudly about karate moves. I lift my head to look at them and catch Chipper’s gaze.

“What the fuck, Bianca Bella?” Chipper grumbles, walking into the room. “I leave for a damn hour, and you break Tatum.”

“Eat a bag of dicks, Chipper Wilburn. I’m a healer, not a breaker.”

“It’s true. She is very healing,” Cricket says, joining us on the couch. “Did she take good care of you?”

Staring up at Cricket, I nod. When my gaze finds Chipper, I smile and say, “Crying is healthy. I heard it even helps you lose weight.”

Chipper takes my hand and guides me into a standing position. “Bianca Bella is a national treasure,” he says, tucking me against him. “You were in good hands.”

Standing up, Bianca Bella frowns at Chipper and shakes her head. “Never doubt me again, peasant.”

He tugs at her hair before she walks to the kitchen and announces dinner will be ready soon. Cricket then checks her phone and says Poet and the mini-twins are on their way home. I’ve barely adjusted to Chipper and Cricket’s presence before the kids arrive to announce they triumphed over evil.

“What evil?” Cricket asks.

“Monsters and stuff,” Murphy explains.

Poet rolls his eyes. “A middle-aged, overweight golfer who likes to touch Hayes.”

“Why can’t Hayes punch him with his monster-sized fist?” Bianca Bella asks.

“The guy has a heart condition and like ten kids. Hayes doesn’t want to kill him.”

“The old man’s gone soft,” Cricket says and sighs. “So sad to see.”

“Turns out the golfer doesn’t like weird kids, so the mini-twins freaked him out big-time. Hayes was very pleased.”

“Grampa gave us money,” Minnow says, pulling out a twenty-dollar bill. “We’re rich.”

Cricket kneels down and hugs the mini-twins. “I’m so proud of my babies for refusing to work for free.”

The chaos of the situation allows me to sit with Chipper and enjoy the show. His hand remains wrapped around mine, and I suspect he’s still bothered by the sight of me crying earlier. I let him keep me close until after we eat dinner. Then I’m on the floor with the mini-twins, putting together puzzles.

The entire evening—from hearing about the silliness at the country club to my time eating Turkish fish stew and finally to sitting by the fire with Chipper—I imagine my mom watching over us and enjoying the new family I’ve found.