“No,” I answer Dr. Monroe, honestly. “It didn’t feel anything like this last time. This feels really good.”
“Where did the two of you go when this happened?” He asks, as I’m on the verge of climax. “A closet?”
“No,” I gasp, almost unable to talk.
Now he takes his other hand and plays with my nipple again, increasing my sensation of euphoria. I try to finish my sentence.
“We were just out in the open. We were all in a circle.”
“A circle?” He asks, interested. “There were others there, watching him do this to you?”
“Yes,” I gasp, almost coming. “Well, kind of. They could see what he was doing but it was under my skirt.”
He pinches my nipple differently now— harder— and rubs it in between his fingers. At the same time, he grabs ahold of my clit, as if claiming it as his own.
“That’s good,” he says. “Did you like when people were kind of watching him finger fuck you?”
I can tell he wants me to say yes, and I suppose I did like it. I enjoyed knowing that they knew what a bad girl I was being, but couldn’t exactly see everything the boy was doing to me.
I liked how the other guys looked at us, as if they wanted to finger bang me too. And I liked how the girls looked at me in shock.
Maybe I really am a whore, like my mother always insinuates, I think.
“Yes, Doctor,” I finally answer him, as I begin to come on his finger.
“Look how soaking wet your perfect pussy is,” he says. “Look at how much I make you come when I grab your hot little clit and play with your pussy. Tell me how much you like this.”
“I love this,” I nearly shout, surprised at how bold I’ve become. “I love when you finger fuck me. It feels so good.”
“I can tell you like it, Elizabeth Jane,” he says.
“I love it,” I say, as my entire body is seized with an orgasm.
This is so much better than when I do it by myself at home.
I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the orgasm all throughout my body.
Dr. Monroe takes his finger out of my pussy— now I can only think of it as a pussy, his pussy — and walks closer to the side of the examination table where my head is lying. He sticks his finger into my mouth again.
“Lick your cum off my pussy,” he commands me, and I do.
I lick it long and slowly, looking into his eyes as I do it.
I can’t help but want to laugh when I think about what my mother would think about “good Christian Dr. Monroe” now. I imagine her sitting in the waiting room looking at her watch impatiently, wanting to barge in on me like she always does at home. But this is a doctor’s office and we have doctor- patient privilege. No one can be here except for Dr. Monroe and me.
I want him to take my panties off and fuck me for real. But he takes a break and just looks at me, as if he’s deciding what to do with me.
Fuck me, I want to tell him. Take my virginity.
He stares at my body, naked except for my panties, which are soaked in my own cum. Underneath them, my pussy is aching for him to finish what he started.
He has been my family doctor since I was young. And now he just finger fucked me and played with my nipples while I told him how I’d never had sex.
He turns around and gets something from his desk drawer. I feel abandoned and alone. My face blushes with embarrassment as I remember spreading my legs so that he could finger me deeper and harder, but I have to admit that I liked it. I didn’t want him to stop.
It seems to take Dr. Monroe forever to walk back to me. When he does, he has a dictation recorder in his hands.
“These are my notes on my examination of Elizabeth Jane Suttell,” he says, speaking into the recorder.
I guess he wants this exam to be official.
“Her mother would like me to thoroughly check her for signs of impurity. I have been in the process of doing just that.”
He smiles at me and I nod at him, willing him to come touch me again. He winks at me as if he knows what I want. He’s just teasing me, drawing this out, making it take forever.
Dr. Monroe continues talking into the machine.
“Her mother caught her masturbating in her room. She thinks she’s been a naughty girl, and has brought here in here for an examination as to her physical purity and her mental state.”
I look down at my bare feet hanging above the beige carpet. I can feel myself blushing in embarrassment at the fact that I have such a ridiculous mother.
“She let a boy finger- fuck her sweet little pussy in high school, during a game of Truth or Dare. Otherwise she’s been completely chaste. Except that she let me finger fuck here right now in this very examination room. So, she obviously has some urges she has been wanting to act on.”
I look up at him, betrayed that he would spill my secrets, even if just into the recorder, and also afraid that I’ll get into trouble. Is he going to give this tape to my mother? No, he couldn’t. It would show that he isn’t exactly innocent either.
And then I realize that he’s recording this for posterity’s sake, like I do when I write in my diary at home. Only he probably won’t rip up the tape he just recorded like I always do the equivalent of when I tear up the pages that I write.
“You’re a very naughty girl, who has very, very dirty thoughts, aren’t you?” he asks.
“Ummm.”
I gulp, hesitating to answer, so unlike myself just a few minutes ago when his finger was in my pussy and I was yelling about how good it felt.
“I guess so.” I shrug.
“Well, here’s how this is going to go,” Dr. Monroe continues, regaining the authoritative tone in his voice.
And suddenly I’m wet again, because I love when this older, more experienced doctor tells me what to do.
“You’re going to submit to further examination, and we are going to carry this all the way through, since I know how much you liked to be finger- banged.”
I lower my head again, ready to submit to whatever Dr. Monroe wants. I know that I, for one, want him inside me. I want him to take my virginity, and I’m hopeful that that’s exactly what is about to happen.
But he shakes his head, as if trying to convince himself to stop.
“Not today,” he says, as if talking to both himself and me. “I will need to see you again. I have got to stop for today.”
My heart sinks, as if he just told me the worst news ever. I already feel empty and alone waiting until the next time I get to see him again.
“If you cooperate and allow me to do the complete examination eventually, then I’ll give a good report to your mother,” he says.
“Yes, Doctor.”
I don’t know what else to say, because it seems beyond my control.
Not that I’m unwilling. I’m glad that my mother will hear what she wants to hear, and also that it sounds like Dr. Monroe eventually plans to have his way with me. I just wish it would be now.
“All right then,” Dr. Monroe says into the recorder. “I’m making a note of the patient’s consent to the complete examination at a later date. At this stage of the examination I’m satisfied that she is in fact pure.”
He sounds official now, as if he is documenting this to protect himself. Even though he just said some very incriminating things into the same tape.
He switches off the recorder. I hope this means he’s going to pick right back up with me where he left off, but I have a feeling he’s ending things, if only because he feels he has to.