Chapter 25 – Darren
I woke up every day and still couldn’t believe that this was all happening.
Hope is here in my house and I am trying to have a baby with her.
It made me start thinking about my son, Bryant. I had been wanting to reach out and talk to him, but I wasn’t sure how it would go. I would be devastated if my son kept rejecting me.
But, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to call anyway.
My heart was pounding out of my chest while the phone rang and I waited for it to be picked up on the other end.
“Hello?” came the familiar soft voice.
“Hi, Mom. It’s Darren. How’s everything?”
“Oh, Darren!” she sang out, brightly. “It feels like I haven’t talked to you in forever. It’s great to hear from you. How are you?”
“I’m fine, mom,” I said, chuckling.
No matter what, my mother was always happy to hear from me. She got so excited, you would have thought that it was Christmas morning and she was getting a personal call from Santa himself.
“How is Bryant?” I asked, almost afraid of what the answer would be.
“Bryant is doing just fine! In fact, he’s been asking about you lately.”
“Oh? What’s going on?”
“I’m not too sure. But, he’s been asking about you almost every day, trying to find out if you called, if you were going to come by. I think he misses you.”
I hadn’t expected that. I didn’t even know how to respond.
“Here, he’s about to knock me over if I don’t let him speak to you…”
“Hello?” came a small voice on the phone.
“Hey there, buddy,” I said, as cheerfully as possible. “It’s your dad.”
“Hi, dad! I miss you!” he said.
His childlike innocence warmed my heart. It felt good to hear that he had missed me.
“I miss you, too,” I admitted. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is great, Dad. Grandma got me this really cool new phone and it lets you video chat. Can I call you on it so that we can talk man to man?”
I had to stifle laughter at the thought of my little boy calling himself a man.
“Of course, son,” I said.
I gave him my phone number and told him that I would wait for him to call.
My heart started to beat fast again and I was beginning to sweat. The last time that he’d seen me had not gone very well. In fact, it ended in him screaming and crying, begging to get away from me.
I knew that he was young and I looked scary, but I had to admit that it also hurt my heart to know that my own son couldn’t stand the sight of me. I was glad he actually wanted to see me now.
When the call came through to my phone and his picture popped up on the screen, I held the phone back a little so that he couldn’t see my whole face. I hoped I wouldn’t scare him too badly all over again. I didn’t know if I could bear that.
“There you are, Daddy,” he said, smiling brightly. “Daddy? Where are you? I can’t really see you.”
I slowly moved the phone so that my face came into view.
“There’s my daddy,” he said proudly. I almost burst into tears seeing his happy, smiling face staring back at mine. “Good to see you, Dad.”
We chatted for a while longer. He was so excited to show me all his new toys and give me a tour of the house, while holding up the phone so I could see everything on my end. He told me that he wished that I could come visit him and I didn’t really give him an answer.
His favorite TV show came on and he quickly handed the phone off to my mother and ran off after saying a quick goodbye.
“He’s so happy to talk to you, Darren. This is wonderful.”
“It really is,” I agreed. “He wasn’t scared.”
“Of course not,” my mom said. “I don’t think he was ever scared to see your scars. It was just that he was only used to seeing his mother, and it was a strange situation for him, so any new face would be scary.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thank you for taking care of him for me, Mom. I really appreciate it. You’re doing a great job. He seems really happy.”
“No problem,” she said. “He’s a joy. But, any time you want to take over, be my guest. I already raised you, and wasn’t really in the market for a new baby.”
“I know,” I told her, feeling guilty.
I probably shouldn’t have left Bryant with her, but it was all I could think of to do. And he was clearly in good hands. At least I was getting my act together to change the circumstances, and that was the best I could do. With Hope’s help.
“It seems like you’re in a better place,” my mom continued. “You seem happier, more relaxed. Anything you want to share with me?”
My mother always had excellent intuition, especially when it came to me. I wanted to tell her what was going on, but decided that that was a conversation that should be had at another time.
“No, I just have a new outlook on things and am just going with the flow of life,” I told her.
It was partially true. I just left out the part about Hope and the new baby being the cause of his new lease on life.
“Well, I’m glad to hear it. And it’s really good to hear from you. I think that you being so upbeat is the reason why Bryant isn’t afraid to talk to you. He has been wanting to, but then when he heard your voice, he really wanted to.”
I chuckled, glad to hear it.
“I mean it,” she insisted. “You seem like a… normal person. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, son, but you know what I mean. Say, I would love it if we could come up and see you sometime. I’d love to see what this new mansion slash cabin of yours looks like, and I know Bryant would be excited to see his dad. Do you think that we could do that?”
“I don’t see why not,” I mused.
In the past, this idea would have scared me. But now, I was warming up to it. Perhaps my mom knew what was best for everyone.
It actually might be a great way for me to tell my mother what was going on and give her a chance to meet Hope. I hoped that Hope would be pregnant by then. I know that my mom would be happy to find out that I was having another grandchild for her. Plus, I think that she would really like Hope.
We said our goodbyes and hung up. I was very grateful to my mom for all her help. I didn’t know what I would do without her. Likewise, I was beginning to wonder what I would do without Hope.
My head was filled with life and hope, and, dare I think it?, I wondered, the beginning of love.
Was it possible to love someone I had just met? Someone with whom I had contracted to not fall in love with, and instead to just create a baby with?
Our arrangement was supposed to be purely a business one. But, personally, I could not be happier. I had a feeling it was possible to have love at first sight, or even, love at first hope. For both my relationship with Hope, and for the baby we were trying to make together.
Everything was finally falling into place just the way that I had always hoped that it would. For a minute, I just wanted to relax and celebrate that milestone at which I never thought I would have arrived.