Braxton

For four weeks she’s managed to dodge me. First, with a lame two week vacation. Then, she manage to plant the seed for Dad and Uncle Rob to pick me to send on an New York case. That shit alone has me pissed as a motherfucker.

Now, here I stand in Mom and Dad’s backyard and Heather has a fucking date. Not just any fucking date. She brought a damn beard. Is she fucking serious with this shit?

I look over at my brother, Wyatt’s face. He looks about as confused as I feel. It was one thing when she was allowing people to assume shit, this is pushing things too far. Was our time together really that bad for her?

I see my opening, as Lucy gets up to go into the house. I figure she’s going to the bathroom, which should buy me some time. I ignore everyone else and make my way to Heather’s side. She looks as if she’s looking around for something. When her eyes land on me, only a few feet away, they widen. Her head whips from side to side, looking for an escape I’m sure.

I pick up my pace, not letting her get away that easily. I grab her elbow, when I reach her, continuing to move. I march us right around to the side of the house out of everyone’s view. I don’t release her, as I back her into the house and crush my mouth to hers.

She melts into me at first, her hands flying into my hair. She kisses me as if she’s as starved as I am. Her little moans soothe the anger inside me. I wrap my arms around her waist. Groaning into her warm mouth, I can taste the beer on her tongue.

Just when I go to deepen the kiss some more, Heather breaks it. Turning her head, she begins to push at my chest. I back off immediately, but keep my eyes on her. Her chest heaves beneath her baggy t-shirt.

I miss having those curves pressed against my body. I miss having my hands on her. I miss the way she looked at me when we made love. I miss everything about her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she hisses low.

“Why are you avoiding me?” I snap back.

“Brax, don’t do this. I’m seeing someone. I cherish our night together. It was amazing, but it just showed me that I want something else,” her last words are barely audible.

I lick my bottom lip, trying with everything I am not to lose my temper. I just glare at Heather. I take in her facial expression to see if she’s truly trying to be serious with this bullshit.

I point my finger between the two of us. “Again, you want to deny this? Come on,” I huff, raising my voice louder than I intend to.

“Shh,” Heather hisses, looking to first the front, then back of the house nervously.

I move closer, caging her in with my body and dipping my head to her ear. I allow my lips to brush her ear as I speak. Feeling satisfied when my words make her shiver.

“You feel that. I bet every cent I have, your panties are wet. You still remember the way I feel inside of you. Your soul yearns for me the same way mine yearns for yours. Yet, you want to drag other people into this,” I breathe.

“Braxton, this has nothing to do with you. Lucy and I…we have something together,” she tries, her voice trembling with lust.

“Yeah, you two do have something between you. A fucking lie,” I mumble, backing up. I point at Heather, pulling a frown. “You want to see the beast come out of me,” I point to the house. “If that chick were a guy, I’d beat the shit out her. I don’t care if this is all bullshit. You’re playing a dangerous game. How long do you think it’ll last?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Heather huffs, placing her hands on her hips.

I roll my eyes and throw my hands in the air. “You really want to play this game?” I look at her pointedly.

I can feel my face heating. I’m just about ready to snap. I would much rather be kissing those soft lips, than listening to the lies she’s feeding me.

“I’m not playing any game, Braxton. The sooner you come to understand that the better off we’ll all be,” Heather growls, straightening her shoulders and holding her chin up.

“Lies! Pretend all you want. Just know this. We belong together. No amount of deception will change that. You’ve taken a little white lie and made it a monster, Heather. For what? Because you still think I’m a baby? God, if it’s because of—,” I clamp, my mouth shut.

I can see she’s holding on by a thread. I’m pissed, but I never want to hurt her. I blow out an exasperated breath, running my hand through the front of my hair. Reaching for her with my free hand, I tug her into my chest. Kissing the top of her head, I sigh.

“Don’t lie to me. If you need to do this, fine. Just don’t lie to me. Not only are you trying to kill my ego, but you’re killing our trust,” I say into her hair.

“I wasn’t a virgin, Brax. I…I can’t open that door. I just can’t, but in the back of my mind,—it’s there. Every time I think about our night together,” she stops to shake her head. “It’s there in the back of my mind and then I…I can’t breathe…he took—” her words cut off and my heart shatters in my chest.

My brows wrinkle. I want to ask so many questions. Why is this a surprise to her? What the fuck happened to her?

Don’t push her asshole.

“Brax, this is why I didn’t want to say anything,” Heather pulls me from my thoughts with her hand on my cheek.

I just notice that I’m vibrating with anger, literally. I cup her fingers and kiss them, closing my eyes. I try to calm the storm inside of me.

“Do what you need to do,” I say quietly. “But the lies stop.”

“I don’t think you’re a baby, Braxton. I just think you’re too young for me. You deserve better,” Heather whispers.

“I deserve you,” I say firmly. “I need to get out of here.”

I kiss her forehead, then turn to leave. I hear her calling after me, but I can’t turn back. I need to hit something. Since I made the promise to wait for her, before I go after that piece of shit, I have to find something else.

* * *

Heather

I reach behind me to use the house to hold me up. I feel like I’m going to crumble right here. He wanted the truth. That was my truth. The box I tried to keep sealed shut. Now, I don’t think I’ll get that lid back on the damn box.

My night with Braxton was so amazing, but it was tarnished by that one single thought in the back of my head. When he slid into me without any resistance, it confirmed what I feared since I was ten.

I feel so cold inside. Hollow to the core. I thought my plan would keep facing this at bay. I hadn’t planned to unpack this revelation anytime soon.

“Heather?” I hear Lucy’s voice.

I look up at her, my eyes unfocused with tears. I blink a few times, but that only causes them to spill over. I open my mouth, but words don’t come out.

“Hey, hey, are you okay? What happened?” Lucy says with genuine concern.

I close my mouth and swallow. “I just need to go. I’m sorry. I need to go home,” I reply.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take you,” Lucy says, wrapping an arm around me to help support me.

I lean into her, unable to respond. I just want to go home to my new place, get under the covers, close my eyes, and stay there for the rest of my life. This pain has a physical weight to it and I don’t know yet if I’m strong enough to overcome it.

Sometimes the truth is heavier than the lie, but we’ll survive. We’ve always survived and he’s always been there when we needed. It’s not his fault.

I know the words in my head to be true, but they don’t feel like it. I feel lost or wrung out. All of the bones have fallen out of the closet and scattered across my life.

This will take time.