Chapter 2

 

“Thanks for doing this with me, Landen,” Callum said as he and his brother drove to the airport together. “And thank you for not telling Mom or Amelia about this mess.”

“It was hard not to tell Amelia,” Landen replied honestly with a sigh. “She knew there was something up when I called her. You’re probably the most organised person in the world, so when I said you needed my help with something, but you had forgotten to mention it before now, she was somewhat suspicious. I just asked her to trust me, so she didn’t push it.”

“I’m sorry you had to lie,” Callum said as he gave Landen an apologetic look. “To be honest, I don’t know how I’m going to tell Mom about this. I’m sure not looking forward to the look of disappointment she will give me.”

“I don’t mean to be insensitive,” Landen said. Callum could hear the uncertainty in his voice. “But are you sure that this kid is yours?”

“I don’t know,” Callum shrugged. “I mean it could be. Carolynn and I were together about five years ago, maybe less. So, the timeline would be right. I just don’t understand why she wouldn’t have told me about her. Why would she keep our child a secret?”

“Did things end badly between you two?” Landen asked giving Callum a questioning look.

“I don’t think so,” Callum said as he recalled the last conversation they had before Carolynn left San Francisco.

They had been to dinner for one last time before Carolynn left for New York. She had been offered a promotion two weeks earlier, and Callum had told her that if she truly wanted to take the job, he would understand, he would even support her decision. He had known how hard she had worked to get to where she was in her career, the last thing Callum had wanted to do was to stand in her way.

Still, the night of the dinner, he knew something had changed. Carolynn hadn’t seemed as happy about her new job as Callum thought she would be.

“You’ve been very quiet tonight,” Callum said as he watched her from across the table. “Are you okay?”

“Yep,” she replied, forcing a smile on her lips, but Callum wasn’t buying it.

“Are you sure?” He pushed, giving her a worried look. “You seem, I don’t know, upset about something.”

“I’m fine,” Carolynn assured him as she set down her napkin on the table. “Actually, I think I’m going to call it a night. I have an early flight, not to mention, a long day ahead of me.”

“Sure,” Callum replied with a sigh. This night wasn’t turning out the way he had hoped it would.

Callum paid the bill before he and Carolynn left the restaurant, then drove her home.

“So,” Callum said as he walked her to the door twenty minutes later. “Are you sure you don’t need a ride to the airport in the morning?”

“The company has paid for a car to come and collect me,” she replied without looking at him. Callum sighed once more.

“Doesn’t mean that I can’t take you anyway,” Callum offered, hoping she would say yes.

“I think it’s better this way,” she replied, as she stopped at the front door before she turned to face Callum. “I don’t really like long goodbyes.”

“It doesn’t have to be goodbye,” Callum said as he slipped his hands around her waist, drawing her closer to him.

“Doesn’t it?” Carolynn asked, giving him a hopeful look.

“Of course it doesn’t,” Callum laughed as he reached up, softly brushing her hair back from her face. “I can come up there on the weekends, you could come back here too. It could be fun.”

“I see,” she replied as her face fell once more. “So, a long distance thing.”

“We could make it work, Carolynn,” Callum assured her, but he knew she wasn’t happy. She dropped her eyes down to his chest, releasing a long sigh. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Give me a reason,” she said looking up into his eyes. “Just one. Give me a reason not to leave.”

Callum stared into her face. He knew what she wanted him to say. If he was honest, there was a part of him that wanted it too.

But there was something that was stopping him, he just had no idea what that something was. He knew she was willing to give up everything for him, he knew it, but he wasn’t sure if he could ask her to do it for a maybe.

“I…I can’t,” Callum replied with a sigh, knowing that he was letting the best thing that ever happened to him slip out of his life. “I can’t give you a reason.”

“Then I think the only thing that is left to say is goodbye,” A heartbroken Carolynn whispered as she leaned forward, softly kissing his cheek. Then, without saying another word, she turned, hurrying in through her front door, closing it behind her, leaving Callum standing there knowing he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.

“CAL!” Landen called out, as Callum jumped, then quickly shook his head.

“Sorry,” he replied, smiling at his brother. “I was just thinking.”

“Well, we’re here,” Landen told him, then nodded toward the window behind Callum. Callum turned just as the car came to a stop next to the Gulfstream 550.

Callum stared at the plane for a moment but made no effort to get out of the car.

“What is it, Callum?” Landen asked, clearly sensing his brother’s hesitation.

“How am I going to do this, Landen?” Callum asked, as he turned back to his brother, giving him a worried look. “How the hell am I supposed to raise a kid on my own? She is my kid, but she doesn’t even know I exist. I have to go there and take her from everything she knows in this world. I just don’t know if I can do it.”

“But if she’s your child, don’t you want her to be part of your life?” Landen replied, giving him a questioning look.

“What the hell do I know about kids?” Callum sighed. “I mean, look at me. I wear five thousand dollar suits; I live in a sterile, penthouse apartment, I travel more than I’m home, not to mention, I work every waking hour there is. The longest relationship I’ve ever had was with her mother, and I screwed that up because I was selfish. Actually, no. I am selfish. What kid deserves that as her father?”

“You’re more than those things, Callum,” Landen said with a smile. “You’re also hardworking, honest and reliable. You dropped everything the moment you heard about Macy because you knew it was the right thing to do. You’re about to get on a plane to go be with your daughter when she needs you most, even though the thought of doing so scares the hell out of you. That sounds like a father to me.”

“I’m just so scared because I have to do this alone,” Callum admitted.

“But you don’t,” Landen replied with a smile. “You have a whole family that will be with you every step of the way.”

“I guess,” Callum shrugged, but he was far from convinced.

“There is no guessing about it.” Landen laughed. “Remember when Pete Reynold came after Amelia, you guys were all there for me through that whole nightmare. And when Emmy was hurt, and Finn refused to leave her bedside. We all took turns of sitting there with him, holding him together. Now we will be here for you. That’s what families do. Macy is your daughter, and she needs you.”

“Okay,” Callum replied with a nod. “I guess you’re right.”

Callum reached for the handle of the door, pushing it open. Taking one more calming breath, he climbed from the car, followed by Landen, before they both headed for the steps of the Gulfstream.

Ten minutes later, they were taxiing down the runway, before lifting up into the early afternoon sun.

It was almost midnight local time by the time they reached the hotel in New York, but Callum knew there was no way he was going to get any sleep that night. He was going to meet his daughter for the first time the next morning, so his mind was racing with so many thoughts.

“I think I’m going to go for a walk,” Callum informed Landen as they rode up in the elevator to their rooms.

“It’s almost midnight,” Landen said as he checked his watch. “Wouldn’t you rather get some rest? Tomorrow is going to be a long day.”

“I know, but I need to clear my head a little,” Callum sighed before he smiled at his brother.

“Well, I could go with you,” Landen offered as the elevator came to a stop, and they both stepped off before he added. “I just want to give Amelia a quick call, but then we could head out somewhere together. Maybe we could find a late bar…”

“I think I would just rather go for a walk,” Callum stopped Landen mid-sentence. “Go and call Amelia. Send her my love.”

“Callum,” Landen said as he stopped at the door to his hotel room. “Everything is going to work out.”

“I know,” Callum replied, forcing a smile on his face. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay,” Landen said. Callum knew he wasn’t buying his reply.

Callum turned to the door across from Landen’s, slipped his key card into the lock, heading inside. He threw his travel bag down on the end of the bed, before he turned back to the door, then back out to the elevator.

“Do you need a cab, Mr. Murphy?” Steven, the doorman from the hotel, asked as Callum stepped out into the night air. Callum always stayed in this hotel when he was in New York on business, which was usually every other week. Callum always made it a point of remembering people’s names.

Steven had been working at the hotel as long as Callum had been staying there, out of all the staff in the hotel, Callum really liked him. He was always smiling, always friendly, and always very helpful.

“Not tonight, thanks, Steven,” Callum replied, giving the man a grateful smile. “I’m just going for a walk, you know, clear off the cobwebs.

“Very good, Sir,” Steven nodded before Callum turned, setting off down the street.

As he walked along the same streets he had walked along so many times before, he thought of every time he had stayed in New York over the last few years, as it hit him he had been so close to his daughter so many times before, but he didn’t even know she existed.

He would have been lying if he said he hadn’t considered calling Carolynn over the years whenever he was in New York. He had considered it many times, but he was always afraid she would tell him to go to hell, so he never did. Now, he wished he could go back in time so he could do everything so differently.

As much as Callum tried to figure it out, he just couldn’t understand why she would have kept Macy a secret from him. Carolynn would have known that he would have done the right thing. He would have never turned his back on either her or their daughter.

Maybe she had met someone else? That thought hurt Callum more than he knew it should have. He knew he had no right to expect her not to have moved on with someone else, someone who was willing to step up and put their heart on the line.

Then the thought occurred to him, what if there was another man? Had Macy believed that he was her father? Had she been calling some other man, Daddy instead of him? This thought bothered Callum more than he thought it would.

Maybe I should just go home and leave well enough alone, he thought to himself, knowing that he could be about to destroy another man’s life even more than it already was. But she’s your daughter asshole! You can’t just walk away from her as you did, her mother. She deserves better!

Callum needed answers, but he knew that waiting until the next morning was not an option. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the piece of paper he had with the address he had been given for Carolynn’s home. He stared at it for a few moments, then without thinking, he stopped a passing cab, then quickly climbed into the back.

Fifteen minutes later, the car pulled to a stop outside a three-story townhouse, and Callum couldn’t help but smile. It was so Carolynn. She had always talked about how one day, she would live in a townhouse, across the road from a park where she could go for long walks.

Callum turned to look across the street, and sure enough, there was a park. He smiled once more.

“Can you wait for me?” Callum asked as he handed the driver a hundred dollar bill.

“Sure, Buddy,” the driver replied, as he turned off his engine while Callum climbed out of the back of the cab.

He stood there on the sidewalk, staring up at the house in front of him, asking himself what the hell he was even doing there at that time of night.

The house was in darkness, as Callum knew it would be. He wanted answers, but now that he was standing there, he knew that going there at that time had been a stupid idea.

He stood there for a few minutes more, deciding that he couldn’t knock at the door at almost 1 a.m. but still his heart longed to go inside, knowing that his daughter was in there. He closed his eyes, as he released a long, frustrated breath.

He finally opened his eyes, then, shoving his hands into his pockets, he slowly turned back towards the cab.

Just as he was about to climb into the back of the car, a light in the hallway came on, then the porch light.

Callum turned back to the door, holding his breath as the door slowly opened.

“Sarah!” Callum said, instantly recognizing Carolynn’s sister as she stepped out the door, before she slowly made her way down the front steps.

“Hey, Callum,” Sarah said, giving him a sad smile.

Without even thinking, Callum closed the distance between her and him, quickly wrapping his arms around her.

“I’m so sorry, Sassy,” Callum whispered, calling her the name Carolynn always called her back when he dated her.

“I still can’t believe this is happening,” she cried softly as she stepped back and looked up into his eyes.

“I know,” Callum replied honestly. “It doesn’t seem real.”

“Two weeks ago she was fine,” Sarah sobbed softly. “Now she’s gone.”

“What happened?” Callum asked, needing to know the truth.

“Maybe you should come in,” Sarah said as she stepped back from Callum, wiping her eyes. She turned and hurried back up the steps. Callum took a deep breath before he followed her up the steps, and into the house.

When he stepped inside the house, he could barely breathe. He was surrounded by all things Carolynn. His heart broke a little bit more.

“You want a coffee?” Sarah’s voice floated out from the kitchen.

“Sure,” Callum replied, as he followed the direction of her voice. “I doubt I will get much sleep anyway.”

“I know that feeling,” Sarah replied with a nervous laugh. “Todd and the kids are all fast asleep, but every time I close my eyes, I see Carolynn…”

She trailed off, not finishing her thought.

She poured two coffees from the coffee pot sitting on the counter, then turning, handing one to Callum. For a moment, neither of them said a word, but Callum’s mind was racing with so many unanswered questions that he desperately needed the answers to.

He looked around the room until his eyes fell on a photo of Carolynn and a little girl stuck to the fridge. That was a picture of Macy; a picture of his daughter. He set his mug down on the counter, walking to the fridge for a closer look.

“She’s very like you,” Sarah said suddenly as Callum reached up, taking the photo from the fridge. She had dark hair just like him, but it was curly like Carolynn’s. She had the same piercing blue eyes as Callum’s, instead of Carolynn’s green eyes. She had the same shaped nose as him, but her mouth, her smile; that was all Carolynn.

“She’s beautiful,” Callum said, as his voice cracked with so many emotions that were running through him at that moment. He turned and looked at Sarah. “Why didn’t she tell me?”

“She wanted to,” Sarah replied, surprising Callum. “She wanted so much for you to know Macy, and for her to know you.”

“Then why didn’t she?” Callum asked.

“Because she was waiting for you to come looking for her,” Sarah replied, again surprising Callum.

“I don’t understand,” Callum said looking down at the photograph in his hand once more.

“Come on, Cal,” Sarah replied with a nervous laugh. “You knew Carolynn was in love with you. You were the love of her life, but you let her walk away.”

“I didn’t want to stand in her way,” Callum insisted, but Sarah cut him off.

“That’s crap, and you know it!” Sarah exclaimed, her eyes not leaving Callum’s. “You were scared because you loved her too, but you thought you weren’t ready to settle down. Carolynn knew that, but she loved you anyway. She never met anyone else. She was waiting for you to come and tell her that you couldn’t live without her, but you never did.”

“I had no idea,” Callum replied honestly. “I mean, I thought about calling her so many times over the years, but I was always too afraid.”

“And what about now?” Sarah asked, her smile fading a little.

“Now?” Callum asked, unsure of what she was asking him.

“Callum, you’ve missed your chance with Carolynn,” Sarah replied as she too set down her coffee. “What I need to know is, are you going to miss your chance with Macy, too?”

“Macy is my daughter!” Callum replied, still not sure of where she was going with this.

“But are you ready to be her father?” Sarah asked. Giving him a questioning look. “Carolynn was clear, you are Macy’s dad, and her place is with you now. But if you aren’t willing to be her father, to be the parent that she needs right now, then just walk away.”

“You want me to walk away?” Callum asked, once more surprised by what she said.

“No,” Sarah replied. “But it’s okay if you do.”

She stared at him for a moment, before she continued.

“But if you walk away now,” Sarah said, her voice calm and even. “You go for good. That’s your choice, take it or leave it.”

“I’m scared, Sarah,” Callum admitted honestly. “What if I can’t do this?”

“You don’t have time to be scared, Callum,” Sarah said smiling at him. “You have a little girl, who is totally amazing. Right now, she needs her dad. Are you ready to be him?”

Callum stared at her for a moment, considering her question, but he realized that at that moment, he had no clue what the answer was.