Chapter 5

 

Over the next few days or so, things were difficult, to say the least. Macy never spoke one word, other than when she cried out for her mother while she was sleeping. Her nightmares seemed to have become a nightly event, taking Callum ages to settle her back down afterwards.

She hardly ate a thing either, unless Amelia or Nell was there, even then she would only eat small amounts. She seemed to have taken to both of them, but still she didn’t say a word to them either. She spent most of her time, sitting playing with her dolls, or watching Callum from a safe distance.

Finn and Emmy stopped by a couple of times to see them, and she seemed to like Emmy too, but it didn’t make a difference either. Of all the men in the family, the only one she seemed to like was Liam. He was the only one who could at least make her smile, even if she didn’t talk to him either.

Landen had joked that it was because Macy and Liam were about the same mental age, but Callum didn’t care, He liked to see her smiling, he just hated that it didn’t happen nearly enough.

Callum had taken some time off from work to be with her, but she didn’t to want him to do anything for her. Macy was probably the most stubborn, strong-willed person Callum had ever met. Nell would point out that Macy was just like him in every way, but he shouldn’t give up. Eventually her walls would drop, and she would let him in.

“I think it’s time for me to go back to work,” Callum admitted to Dylan when he dropped by one evening to see how they were getting on about two weeks after they had gotten back from New York. Callum had told him he was worried that Macy wasn’t doing so well, and he would be grateful if he could check in on her for him. Callum thought that the best advice he could get would be from Dylan, seeing as he was the doctor of the family.

“Maybe getting you both into a more stable routine would do you both some good!” Dylan nodded and agreed. “Have you considered putting Macy into daycare?”

“With a bunch of strangers to take care of her,” Callum frowned and shook his head. “I think that’s the last thing she needs right now.”

“But she will be with other kids,” Dylan offered. “Maybe it would bring her out of her shell a little.”

“Do you really think so?” Callum asked, giving him a questioning look.

“It can’t hurt,” Dylan offered. “Other than Henry, she is around adults all the time. A little girl like her needs friends, girls her own age to play with. Being cooped up here all day sure isn’t the right thing for her.”

“But she didn’t even try to interact with the other kids that were at Henry’s christening last week,” Callum sighed as he remembered the way she had spent the entire time hiding in a corner while they were at Landen and Amelia’s house for Henry’s christening the week before.

Callum had considered not going in the first place, but Nell thought it would do Macy some good to get out and mix with others. It really hadn’t, and in the end, he decided it was best if he left after just an hour.

“That was one day,” Dylan reasoned with Callum. “Maybe if you give her a few days, she might come around a little more. I mean, what are your options. You can’t stay off work indefinitely, and Annie isn’t a nanny, she’s your housekeeper, and probably too old to be looking after a four-year-old.”

“Don’t let her hear you saying that,” Callum replied with a half-smile. “But I guess you’re right. I will ask around, see which is the best place to send her, and take it from there.

One week later, Callum led a very nervous Macy in through the front door of Bright Days Day Care. Finding a really good daycare had not been as easy as Callum had assumed it would be. Several people he knew suggested Bright Days because they had sent their kids there, but when Callum called them up, they told him that there was a three-year waiting list for their services. It turned out however that Landen knew someone on the board of directors that owed him a favour, so he called that favour in.

“Hi,” a perky blonde girl, who looked no more than twelve, but who was probably about twenty said to Callum as he walked towards the front desk. She then turned to Macy, as her smile widened. “You’re not Macy, are you? I’m Brittney, I’m so happy to have you here at Bright Days.”

Callum smiled at the girl, then looked down at Macy, whose face was almost like stone. She didn’t react to the girl in any way, other than to stare at her.

“Aren’t you going to say hello, Macy?” Callum asked, giving Macy’s hand a gentle tug, but there was no reaction. Instead, she just continued to stare at the girl.

“I get it,” Brittney said with a wink at Macy, then she smiled up at Callum as she walked around the front desk. “She’s the strong, silent type. That’s okay here at Bright Days.”

She reached out her hand to Macy, but the moment she did, Callum could feel her little hand tighten around his fingers. This was not going to end well, he knew it in his heart.

“Would you like to come with me to meet the other boys and girls?” Brittney asked, her voice almost annoyingly sweet.

Macy instantly put her free hand behind her back and moved closer to Callum.

“Mace,” Callum said as he crouched down to talk to her on her level. “Aren’t you going to go to play with the boys and girls? It will be fun! And I promise Daddy will be back in a couple of hours.”

Macy’s stared at him but didn’t say a word, as her bottom lip trembled.

“Macy,” Callum sighed, as he reached up, softly brushing her cheek. “I promise I’ll come back.”

Again she said nothing, but tears danced in her eyes. It almost killed Callum.

“Maybe it would be best if you just left now,” Brittney offered as she gave Callum an expectant look. “It can be hard for new kids, for parents too, the first time they dropped them here, but before you know it, Macy will be running through those doors to get in here.”

“Well, she isn’t most kids,” Callum replied impatiently as he looked up at the girl. “She is my daughter, and I will leave her when I’m good and ready to go, not one second before.”

Brittney gave Callum an unimpressed look, but she didn’t respond. Still, Callum knew she got the message loud and clear.

“Macy,” he continued as he returned his attention back to his little girl. “It’s okay to be afraid; I was afraid too, the first day I started school, but you’re going to have such a great time. You’re going to make lots of new friends, I promise. Then when it’s time to go home again, I will be right here waiting for you.”

The little girl didn’t reply, other than to tighten to grip on his fingers.

“I wish you would talk to me, tell me what it is you want me to do, Sweetheart,” Callum sighed as he reached out, wrapping his arm around his daughter, drawing her into his embrace, as he pressed his lips to her forehead. “I need you to help me, Macy.”

“Mr. Murphy,” Brittney finally piped up, her tone of voice was no longer bubbly and sickly sweet. It was irritated and impatient. “I honestly think you’re just making this whole situation worse than it already is…”

“And I think you should shut the hell up,” Callum retorted angrily, as he stood up straight, lifting Macy up in his arms as he did. “She is my daughter, I don’t want or need some Mary Poppins wannabe telling me what’s best for her. I’m her father, I will do whatever the hell it takes to make my daughter happy. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m taking my daughter home.

Without waiting for the girl to respond, Callum turned, heading back out the entrance, carrying Macy in his arms.

Once they were outside, Callum stood Macy down on the ground, then crouched down in front of her once more, giving her a smile.

“What are we going to do now, Mace?” He asked as he reached up, softly tossing her hair. Macy didn’t respond. Instead, she stared up into Callum’s face. “I guess it’s just you and me again today, kid.”

He stood up, reaching for her hand, then they walked back toward his car that was parked across the street.

As they walked towards the car, Macy tugged down on Callum’s hand. Callum stopped to look down at the little girl, and she was crossing her legs.

“You need to use the bathroom?” Callum asked, getting a nod as a reply. “Shit!”

Carolynn, if you’re up there, Callum thought to himself. Now would be a good time for you to help us out. Give me a sign or something

He looked around the area where he and Macy were standing, knowing that he was probably too far from both his office and home for her to wait. He turned, looking back over at the daycare centre and considered going back over there, but after the way he had just spoken to the girl, he didn’t really fancy having to go back and eating humble pie.

“Shit!” He grumbled once again, as he glanced down at Macy. She was now wiggling because she needed to pee badly. Come on, Carolynn, I need your help!

Suddenly, Callum spotted a coffee shop on the corner. Without thinking, he picked Macy up, then jogged down the street until he reached the coffee shop.

Hurrying inside, he looked around, but he was unsure where the toilets were.

“Can I help you, Sir?” One of the waitresses asked as she stepped in front of Callum.

“I need to use your bathroom,” Callum said giving her a pleading look. “Or rather, she does.”

“Bathrooms are over there,” The waitress replied, pointing towards the back of the coffee shop, but then added. “But it’s only for customers.”

“Then I will buy a coffee when I come out,” he replied as he hurried past her, in the directions she had pointed, then added, over his shoulder. “I promise!”

When he reached the toilets, he stopped, looking at the two doors for a moment. He didn’t know which one he should use. He couldn’t bring her into the men’s toilet, but he also couldn’t go into the ladies.

FUCK! He screamed in his head, having no clue what to do.

Macy began to whimper a little, and he knew she needed the toilet now.

So, he did the only thing he could think of. He covered her eyes with his hand before he hurried into the men’s bathroom, heading straight for the cubicle. He stood her down on the floor, and she quickly pulled down her underwear, as Callum pulled his handkerchief from his pocket, and wiped the seat, before he picked Macy up, setting her down on the edge.

He turned to face the door, to give her some privacy as she peed, sighing to himself. How the hell is this your life now?

When he could hear no more peeing, he turned back and lifted her down; then handed her some tissue paper.

This is beyond madness, he sighed in his mind as he made sure she was okay.

He looked down at his hands and sighed. There was no way he was touching her face until he’d washed his hands. He stood there for a moment, as Macy looked up at him expectantly.

“I need you to close your eyes,” he told her, giving her a smile. “Just till we get back outside.”

Macy did as she was told, as Callum led her out of the cubicle, to the sink to wash both of their hands. As he did, Macy opened her eyes, and peeked up at him through the mirror above the sink, giving him a tiny smile.

For the first time, Callum felt like maybe they could do this. He just needed to give her some time.

When they left the bathroom, Callum brought Macy up to the counter and lifted her up so she could see.

“What would you like to eat?” He asked her as he walked along the glass display of cakes. Macy looked down and smiled before she pointed at a tray of gingerbread men.

“Good choice,” Callum said as he turned back to the waitress behind the counter. “Can I have two gingerbread men and two banana milkshakes please?”

“Sure,” the waitress said with a smile. “Take a seat, I’ll bring them over to you.”

Callum nodded, then turning, he walked towards a seat over near the window. Setting Macy down in one seat, he took the one across from her.

“So,” he said as he looked her in the eyes. “What are we going to do now?”

Macy stared at him but didn’t say a word. The waitress arrived a few moments later with their order, and Macy smiled once more, as she sat forward in her seat. She leaned up so she could reach her straw, taking a long sip before her eyes met Callum, as her smile widened.

Suddenly, Callum’s phone began to buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out, smiling when he saw his mother’s number on the screen.

“It’s Nana,” Callum told Macy. She gave him another tiny smile.

Progress, he thought to himself.

“Hey, Mom,” Callum said into the phone when he brought it to his ear.

“How did it go?” Nell asked. Callum knew she was worried about Macy starting in daycare.

“It didn’t,” he replied, smiling over at the little girl once more.

“Oh no,” Nell sighed sadly. “What happened?”

“Macy just didn’t want to go in,” Callum replied trying to be careful about what he said in front of Macy. “And I was not going to make her.”

“Is she upset?” Nell asked. Callum knew that Nell hated the idea of her being upset almost as much as he did.

“No,” he assured his mother as he tried to choose his words carefully, not wanting to talk about her like she wasn’t even there. “I didn’t wait for it to get that far. But had I pushed harder, then that would have been a given.”

“Where are you now?” Nell asked.

“Macy and I are in a coffee shop,” Callum explained still watching the little girl closely, as she picked at her gingerbread man. If Callum were honest, he wouldn’t have been surprised if she hadn’t ate it, but he knew that he at least had to try. Okay, it wasn’t the healthiest choice in the world, but at this point, he didn’t care, as long as she was eating.

Finally, she picked it up and took a tiny bite of it, before she reached for her banana milkshake once more.

“We are having gingerbread men, and banana milkshakes,” Callum continued.

“Is she eating?” Nell asked. Callum smiled at the hope in his mother’s voice.

“As we speak,” he replied, keeping his answers simple, not wanting to stop her eating now she had started.

“Well that’s something,” Nell said, the relief in her voice very clear. “But I don’t know what you’re going to do about daycare. I mean, I can take some time off and watch her for you until she is more settled, or even cover for you in the office if you want to stay with Macy.”

“I know you would, Mom,” Callum replied and smiled at his mother’s offer. “But I need to figure this out properly. I need to make long-term plans. The sooner I make them, the better it will be for everyone, especially Macy.”

Macy looked up at Callum at the mention of her name and froze.

“Look, Mom,” Callum said quickly, knowing he needed to wrap this up. “I will call you later.”

“Okay, Son,” Nell replied, and Callum knew she understood. “Or maybe you and Macy could drop by for dinner.”

“I will let you know,” Callum assured her. “Bye Mom.”

He hung up the phone, slipping it back into his pocket.

“Nana asked if we wanted to go to her and Pops for dinner tonight,” he told the little girl as he sat forward in his seat. “What do you think?”

Callum wasn’t surprised that he didn’t get a response, and his heart sank a little as she pulled Daisy to her face once more.

“So, these banana milkshakes,” Callum said as he picked up his glass trying to pull things back. “Are they any good?”

He got no reply.

“Macy, please,” Callum sighed, as he set his glass back down. “I need you to try. I’m running out of ideas here. I don’t know what else to do.”

Again she didn’t respond. Instead, she just buried her face in her doll more.

FUCK! Callum screamed in his mind. He had never felt more helpless in his life than he did right at that moment.

He thought about Sarah, and as much as the thought broke his heart, he wondered if maybe the right thing to do was let Macy go stay with her after all.

He pushed away his milkshake too, his appetite suddenly disappearing too.