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The Subaru had barely stopped before I jumped out and scanned the area, seeing Ayden’s car parked haphazardly, the door wide open. Sirens screeched in the background, help was coming. My heart lurched as I looked up and saw the curtains closed in our apartment. My feet started moving, running for the stairs, without a second thought. Lucca appeared right behind me shouting something I couldn’t make out, the loud rush of fear through my ears deafening. My focus was Sophie.

The flat door was wide open, and I barely paid any heed to the neighbours scattered along the hallway walls as I moved faster. The deathly silence I did notice, it was too quiet, and I realised whatever confronted me when I reached my sister, would change my life forever.

As I barrelled into the flat I came careening to a halt and felt my heart physically stop beating as I took in the carnage that was our living room. Huddled at the far end was a whimpering Chrissie clutching Sophie to her chest, her bloody legs sprawled out at the side of hers.

“I don’t know how to stop it!” she yelled when I frantically crossed to her. I was on my knees over Sophie in an instant. The towel laid over her chest was bright red and there was a pool on the floor. Her eyes were closed. She needed to open them; I was begging her to open them.

“Please, please.... please!” I keened, clasping my hands over her cheeks, “Let me see your baby blues, gorgeous.” Tears I could no longer keep at bay streamed down my face as I gently slapped at hers. “Sophie, please, please, please....”

She was stalk still, not even warm to the touch and I couldn’t tell if she was breathing or not. I moved the towel away and took in a sharp breath as I saw the point where her blood was leaving her body, leaving her lifeless.

“Fuck!” I cried, shoving Chrissie roughly away and lifting Sophie to me, cradling her tight to my own chest, whispering pleas and nonsense in her ear. Telling her how beautiful she was; how much I loved her. And then I remembered the baby and I full on howled, wiping her bloodied hair away from her face as I kissed her over and over again. The physical pain of my heart breaking confounded me so much I couldn’t come to grips with it.

This was madness.

Chrissie pressed another towel to Sophie’s chest. We looked at one other in desperation, her red, blotchy eyes returning my helpless stare. She lifted her hand and cupped my cheek to offer some strength. It was a strange gesture from a woman such as her, and all she had done, but I leaned into her anyway. She moved away slightly, and it was only then I began to take in the rest of my surroundings. I choked out loud when I saw him, behind the door, flat on his face with his father leaning over him. Just like Sophie, he wasn’t moving, and my heart ripped its final piece.

Everything became blurry from there as I grasped harder to Sophie, trying to keep a hold of my last shred of sanity, praying to anything that would listen, to let the two people who were my life to just be okay.

How could this be happening to them? Why? How could I not protect those I loved? It was a sobering among the madness, a thought that had me reeling.

Chrissie was talking to me, I tuned her out, feeling arms around my shoulders, but I refused to let go of Sophie. They weren’t taking her from me. I blinked my eyes open and looked around again. The room was full of yellow jackets and noise.... So much noise in my fucking ears.

Please, let this be a dream I wake up from any minute now.

The joke was on me though, right? Because I knew all too well it was no dream. It was my worst nightmare come true.

“Sir, sir.” I heard from my side. Turning to the voice, I saw the kindest eyes peering back at me. “Let me look at her, sir. We’re here to help, but we need to look at her. What’s her name?”

I looked down at my battered and bleeding sister and whispered; “Sophie, it’s Sophie. Please, help her,” I begged. I begged with all I was that this man could do what I couldn’t seem to and bring her back to me.

“You need to let go so that we can take a look.”

What if I could never hold her like this again? What if she never opened her eyes again? I reluctantly let go and the next thing I knew Chrissie had a hold of me and was pulling me off to the side as the paramedics surrounded my sister. She didn’t relent, her hands pulling me further from her.

“Shaun,” she said. “Let’s move out the way, huh? Let them do what they need to do, okay?” I caught her eyes, seeing sorrow laced heavily in them.

“What the fuck happened?” I hissed, disbelief gripping my insides, fear crawling through my veins like molten lava through the cracks of the earth. Anger stirred along those fault lines too.

She shook her head. “I don’t know, I don’t know. This is what I walked into. Next door called me, they couldn’t get through to you. I don’t know, Shaun.” She was visibly shaken, her hands trembling as she held onto me.

I watched as they bagged and tubed Sophie, I’d seen it before with my brother, so I knew what they were doing. They placed something around her stomach and I doubled over in pain, letting out a strangled cry at the thought of losing everything. Starting to reach for her again, Chrissie held me back, embracing me.

There were hushed tones around the room and I sensed the urgency of the paramedic’s actions. Among the chaos I heard the whoop and thud of a heartbeat, a heartbeat that commanded a hush around the room. Everyone quieted, and I instantly recognised it, letting out a sigh of breath, the sound was like music to my ears even though the beats were slow. I closed my eyes again, Chrissie’s arms tightening, it was a small comfort I took for I knew this was just the beginning.

As much as it hurt me I couldn’t think about Ayden right then. It was all about Sophie. I knew his father was right there with him and I had to trust in that. I looked over and noticed they hadn’t moved him, he was still face down, lying in the same position he was before. There was a blanket over his legs and lower back, tinged the same garish red as Sophie’s towel.

I searched for Lucca and found him off to the side of the room, hunched down, his head in his hands. Defeated, the man was utterly defeated, much the same way I was.

There was another huddle of people across the room I hadn’t noticed earlier. Peering closer, my eyes connected with the blank stare of Jake’s between the boots of the people surrounding him. His tongue lolled from his mouth, but his piercing stare never waned from mine. It was dead, and cold...and accusing. I turned from the sight sharply, the stark confrontation of death and guilt too raw to comprehend.

Christ, I couldn’t take this in, it was all too much. Too fucking much!

Chrissie nudged me for attention and I saw they had Sophie on the stretcher and were making moves to take her out. I needed to be with her, I couldn’t leave her. I nodded and shakily rose to my feet, leaning in and quietly speaking into Chrissie’s ear. “I want who did this,” I said to her through gritted teeth. She nodded in understanding as I stalked out the room following behind Sophie. Ayden had to wait.

Pain crippled me, and I almost fell down the stairs when a hand grabbed out to hold me, steady me.

Lucca gripped my bicep, “We’re right behind you, okay?”

“Ayden?”

“We can’t move him for a minute, but he was conscious when we got here.” There was no reassurance in his voice, so I just turned on my feet and left. What more could I do? I had to concentrate on Sophie.