“Shit, Rona, I’m sorry.” Jalen had started apologizing about thirty seconds ago when he realized that he hadn’t used a condom. I was trying to get a word in, but he kept looking down at me like he’d fucked up worse than before.

Finally, I put my hand over his mouth, stopping the next outpouring of words. “First, I appreciate the apology, but it’s on both of us. We both got caught up in the moment. Second, I’m on the pill, and I’m clean, so no worries from my end.”

“I am too,” he said quickly. “I’ve gotten tested regularly after everything that went down with Elise.”

I reached up and brushed his hair away from his face. He wasn’t a business suit and insanely expensive haircut kind of guy, but he dressed nicely. Still, I had to admit, I preferred this rumpled, freshly fucked version of him.

“Then we write it off as impulsivity,” I said matter-of-factly. “But no freak outs.”

“Agreed.” He stretched out next to me, hooking his arm around me to pull me back against his body.

I was a little surprised we fit. The couch wasn’t huge, but it was bigger than average, probably because Jalen was bigger than average.

An understatement to say the least.

“Can I ask you a question?” He ran his hand over my hip and then down to the bare skin between my belly button and the aching place between my legs.

“You just came inside me,” I teased. “I think I can handle a question.”

“Both times we were together, you made it clear that you didn’t want your shirt off.”

I tensed but managed to keep my voice light. “That doesn’t sound like a question.”

“Is it like that with everyone…or just me?”

The trace of vulnerability in his voice was the only thing that kept me from telling him that it was none of his damn business. “Everyone.”

After a second of silence, he nodded. “All right.”

And that was it. I doubted his curiosity would be satisfied with my answer for long, but that was okay. This wasn’t a relationship. It was comfort and distraction. That was all.

As if on cue, Jalen’s phone rang.

He leaned over me to pick it up from next to his still half-full mug of coffee before sitting up to answer it. “Chet?”

I sat up and waited, watching his expression as he listened to what the commissioner had to say. The moment I saw relief on his features, a weight lifted off my shoulders. It was good news. I’d wait until I actually heard it to be completely at ease, but I felt far more hopeful than I had a moment before.

“Thanks, Chet. Yes, please pass along my thanks to the police department, and I’ll see everyone at the annual ball later this year.” As he ended the call, he turned toward me, a smile spreading across his face. “They got all of the girls out safely, all of the guys arrested without a shot fired. They confirmed Meka was there and gave her a phone to call her dad. They’re all on their way to the hospital to be checked over, and Theo’s going to meet them there.”

I put my hands over my face as a surge of emotion threatened to overwhelm me. Meka was okay. The other girls were okay. They’d need to talk about what happened to them, get into counseling, but if we’d gotten to them in time to prevent any assaults, they’d be able to move past it. Have normal lives.

“You did great work,” Jalen said softly as he put his hand on my shoulder. “You saved Meka, and you saved those girls.”

I nodded but didn’t trust myself to speak just yet. Since I’d gotten kicked out of training, I hadn’t wanted to think much about how much I’d always wanted to help people, to save them. I’d known that I’d lost my chance when I’d lost the FBI, but now, I’d actually helped someone. Real help.

I needed a few minutes to compose myself. As I shifted, I became all too aware of what I wasn’t wearing, as well as the mess between my legs. I needed to clean up.

“Up the stairs, second door on the left. Towels are in the linen closet next to the sink. Use whatever you need. Take as long as you need.”

“Thanks,” I whispered.

I couldn’t look at him as I got up. We’d had amazing sex, and he didn’t act weird this time. He didn’t push when I didn’t tell him the reason why I kept my shirt on. That, on top of the huge win with Meka, should’ve had me on cloud nine. Instead, I felt uneasy, like I’d gone a step too far, let him too close. We hadn’t spent a lot of time together. Had sex twice. He wasn’t my friend like Clay.

So why did I feel like he saw far more than I wanted him to?

It wasn’t until I stepped under the showerhead that the white noise of water against skin drowned out the chaos in my head. I let the hot water soothe my aching muscles, drive away all of the confusion. It’d come back, I knew, but for right now, I was thankful for the quiet.

If I’d been at home, I probably would’ve taken a bath and fallen asleep, but that wasn’t exactly the safest thing to do when I was this tired, which meant it was probably a good thing that I’d cleaned up here. It almost made up for the fact that his shampoo and soap had that faint spicy scent that immediately sent my mind back to the two of us on the couch. The feel of him. The smell.

I winced as I stepped out of the shower and mentally cursed myself for how rough things had gotten. Not because I hadn’t wanted it, but because I was going to be feeling it for a while.

I was still drying myself off when I realized that I’d left my pants and underwear downstairs by the couch. Shit. Sure, I’d walked into the bathroom wearing only my bra and shirt, but it just felt weird to put those back on and return to the living room bare-assed. I should’ve thought things through better, but I’d been so overcome with so many emotions, I hadn’t been thinking.

I set aside the towel and picked up my bra. I’d put it and my shirt back on, then wrap the towel around my waist until I gathered my other clothes. Simple. As I began to put on my bra, I averted my eyes from my reflection like I always did.

I didn’t need the reminders, especially right now.

“Rona, I thought you might want some clean clothes to wear home…” Jalen’s voice trailed off as he opened the door…and saw what I’d hidden from everyone since I was thirteen years old.

The ugly, jagged scar that began right under my collarbone and went down between my breasts, then under the right side of my ribcage and all the way back to my spine. I had nice breasts, but no one saw them because when my shirt was off, I knew the only thing anyone would ever see was the scar.

And now, it’d be the only thing Jalen ever saw when he looked at me.

I grabbed the clothes in his hands and yanked them on as he apologized and asked questions and swore that he hadn’t meant to invade my privacy. I ignored all of it and avoided even looking at him. It wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t done anything wrong. But I couldn’t even reassure him because I had to focus on breathing, putting one foot in front of the other.

Running away. Because that’s what I did when things went wrong. I ran.