“I don’t want to be alone tonight,” I said as Jalen walked me up to my door. Technically, the apartment above the office was mine now, but I couldn’t bring myself to go inside yet. I’d get there, but not tonight. “If you’re okay with that.”

He followed me inside, tugging me to a stop even as he pushed the door closed behind us. He wrapped his arms around me, and I settled against his chest with a sigh.

“I’ll stay with you as long as you want,” he said. He kissed the top of my head and held me for a minute longer before letting me go. “Why don’t you go sit down? Are you hungry? I’ll get you something to eat.”

As he walked toward the kitchen, something low in me clenched. I was hungry, but not for food. I needed something more. Intellectually, I knew that sex after a loss was natural, a whole affirmation of life thing, but I’d never really experienced it before now.

“I don’t want to sit down,” I said, “and I don’t want food.”

He turned around, a puzzled expression on his face. “Is something wrong?”

I shook my head. “Just thinking about what I really do want.”

“What’s that?”

My heart thudded against my ribcage, but I wasn’t going to chicken out. I’d never done this before, but if I could do it with anyone, it was him.

His gaze followed my hands as I reached down and pulled my shirt over my head. He breathed out a curse, but I could barely hear him over the blood rushing in my ears. I reached behind me, numb fingers fumbling with the hooks in my bra. As it dropped to the floor, my chest tightened until I could barely breathe. A part of me couldn’t believe I was actually doing this, but another part of me was glad I finally had the guts to do it.

He came toward me slowly, but I didn’t see any disgust or revulsion on his face. If anything, he wore an expression that looked an awful lot like awe.

“Damn,” he muttered.

For a moment, I thought he was commenting on the scar, and that would’ve still been better than anything I ever would have thought anyone would ever say about it. Then his fingers lightly traced across the tops of my breasts, and I realized what was actually holding his attention.

I flushed, heat flooding across my skin even as my nipples tightened into two hard little points. I’d touched myself, but it wasn’t the same. I’d had men touch my breasts before, too, but always over clothes, and always worrying about whether or not they’d seen or touched my scar. But Jalen, he’d already seen it. And he didn’t care about it. All he cared about was paying attention to my body.

I moaned as his fingers tweaked and rolled the sensitive flesh. Definitely not the same as touching myself. Fuck. I closed my eyes, and my head fell back. I’d never imagined that I was missing this much by limiting how someone could touch me, but this…

His tongue circled my breast, and my eyes snapped open. I grabbed the back of his head as he wrapped an arm around my waist. He held me steady, tracing wet patterns across my skin, then blowing cool air. My skin prickled, goosebumps spreading despite the heat coursing through me.

The hand on my back moved up my spine, then back down to the top of my ass. I was vaguely aware that he was touching the end of my scar, but he didn’t say anything, and neither did I. He shoved his knee between my legs, using it to help keep me steady. When his lips closed around one throbbing nipple, I understood why.

With a hard pull of his mouth, he sent electricity straight from my nipple to clit, igniting everything between. I cursed, my body shifting without thought, the movement pushing his thigh up against me. I shivered at the pleasant friction, rocking my hips against him for more. He chuckled, the vibration against my nipple my new favorite sensation.

Until his teeth got involved.

The hand on my back guided my movements as I rubbed on him, and his teeth worried at my nipple, the combination exactly what I needed. I’d been wound tight for what seemed like years, pressure bubbling just below the surface.

“Come for me,” Jalen said. He bit down, tugged, released. “Come for me, and I’ll take you to bed.”

My pussy clenched at his words. I wanted that. Damn, I wanted it. Wanted him. Inside me.

“Come, Rona.” His voice had an edge to it. “I’m so fucking hard right now. I need you to come, and then I can fuck you.”

Most men would’ve assumed I wanted to be comforted with something soft and sweet. Made love to. Not fucked. But he knew me well enough to know that what I needed right now, what would actually comfort me, was fucking.

He shoved his hand under the back of my skirt, palming my ass, squeezing it. “Don’t think about it. Do it.”

He moved his mouth to the side of my breast and bit down – hard – and worried at the skin, sucked on it. Marked it. He pushed his leg more firmly against my core, and I whimpered.

“J…” I panted. “J…J…”

And there it was.

“Yes!” I cried out as I rode his leg, taking myself up and over the edge. I fell forward, trusting him to catch me, and he did. He held me there, helping me eke out every drop of pleasure until I finally went limp in his arms.

He straightened, scooping me up in his arms as he went. I almost protested that I wasn’t the best size to be carried, but then I remembered that he’d done it before. I half-expected him to toss me onto the bed, but he set me down gently instead, sliding off my skirt and panties as he went.

“You soaked clean through these.” He grinned down at me as he deposited my clothes in the nearby hamper. After taking off his shirt, he moved on to his pants. “Damn, babe. My pants are wet too.”

I shrugged, enjoying the way his eyes dropped to my breasts when I moved. “You told me to come.”

He nodded. “I did.” He glanced behind him at a red silk scarf hanging over the edge of a chair, then looked down at me. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” The answer came before I was even aware of what it would be.

I watched as he walked over to my scarf, and the sight of all those muscles bunching and flexing sent a rush of arousal through me, sharp and sweet. His face was gorgeous enough, but that body…damn.

When he turned back around, scarf in hand, I felt silly for not having realized already what he wanted to do.

He leaned over me, his eyes locking with mine until the scarf hid him from sight. A shiver of anticipation, tinged with fear of the unknown, went down my spine. Not seeing him at all when he could see all of me took a lot more trust than I’d realized.

The bed dipped under me as he moved. “Spread your legs and put your arms above your head.”

I stretched my arms up, my fingertips brushing against my pillows. No matter where things went between the two of us, tonight would always be special to me. He was giving me something no one had ever been able to give me before, not even Clay.

“No thinking, no analyzing. Just feel.”

He grasped my ankle, slid his hand up my leg. I could feel his gaze on me as he hooked one leg over his hip, hitching it up high and opening me to him even more fully. He paused a moment, then surged forward, burying himself inside me with one thrust.

My back arched, mouth opening. He groaned, a wordless sound wrung out of him. We froze like that for several beats, locked together in an intimate embrace. Then, when I couldn’t bear it a second longer, he rotated his hips, rocked back and forth, as if he was gauging my responses.

When I pushed up against him, he leaned closer, my thigh muscles burning as my knee pressed closer to my chest. He drove into me with single-minded purpose, each stroke taking me to my limit. The words we said didn’t make much sense, a jumble of curses and endearments and compliments, each one’s sole purpose to express how much we were enjoying the feel of our bodies coming together, the sensations of skin on skin – complete for the first time.

I could have lied to myself that the only reason this felt so much different from other times I’d fucked was because I wasn’t constantly aware of my scar or because I wasn’t wearing a shirt, or even because of the blindfold, but I knew better. I knew it was because of Jalen, because of the trust between us, the connection we had. And when we came, him first and me seconds later, that connection only grew stronger.