I just wanted to lay down and go to sleep. Never wake up. Everything hurt and going to sleep would stop it. All I wanted was for the pain to stop. But I had things to do.

Miles to go.

Miles to go.

My feet dragged as I staggered outside. Forward. Forward. Toward the sounds. Push back the dark. Keep moving.

Miles to go.

Miles to go.

Through the front door. Foot sliding on bloody tile. Down on one knee next to a body. Mrs. Khaled. She had the kids bring me cookies when Dad was hurt last year. Eyes open. Staring at nothing.

Up. Up.

Push through the pain.

Hold the skin together. Keep insides in. Ignore blood oozing between fingers.

Squishing between toes.

Miles to go.

Miles to go.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

Knock on wood.

Break wood.

Screaming. Crying. Screaming.

Miles to go.

Miles to go.

Toes bump. Don’t look down. Keep moving. Don’t look down.

Can’t stop myself.

Blonde hair-soaked red. Gaping smile. Wider. Wider. No teeth. Just gushes of scarlet and crimson.

Hot liquid gushing through fingers.

Not hers.

Mine.

Hers cooling. Thickening.

Miles to go.

Miles to go.

Leave her behind. Can’t help her. Must keep going. Help them. Help them.

Miles to go.

Miles to–

“No!” The word caught in my throat, and I choked on it.

“Miss are you, all right?” The elderly man next to me hit the button to call for a flight attendant.

I nodded, grabbing for my bottle of water. I drained it, then focused on slowing my breathing. Hyperventilating was the last thing I needed right now.

“Bad dream,” I gasped out.

That was a bit of an understatement. I’d been having nightmares two, three times a night since Clay told me I needed to come back. The flight from Denver to Indianapolis wasn’t a long one, and I hadn’t planned to sleep, but I hadn’t been able to help myself. I was exhausted.

I rubbed my hand over my face and sighed as I leaned back in my seat. The little screen on the back of the seat in front of me showed our progress. We were about to start our descent.

“Everything okay here?” A smiling flight attendant appeared.

“I had a bad dream,” I said with a tight smile. “It’s okay. I’m good now.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. “You don’t need anything?”

I shook my head. “We’re not too far out, are we?”

“No. Not much longer now.”

“I used to have nightmares,” my seatmate said as the flight attendant walked away. “Every other night for months, I used to have the same nightmare. Jellyfish. I got stung by one when I was five, and when I watched that damn lost fish movie with my granddaughter, it all came back to me, and the nightmares started again. Damn things chasing me. Yelling squishy at me and throwing blobs of jelly.”

I stared at him. What the hell? Was I still sleeping?

He kept going until the seatbelt sign flashed on, and then he started giving me statistics about plane crashes versus car crashes and even threw in the occasional train wreck. Just for the fun of it.

Normally, listening to all of that while in a plane would freak me out, but I had to admit, it kept the butterflies in my stomach to a manageable level. It would’ve been easier if Clay had been with me, but when he’d called in his vacation time, Agent Matthews had asked him to come in for a couple hours. Which meant that Clay was coming in on a later flight, and I was returning home alone.

I hadn’t been back here since Anton and I had boarded the plane two days after my dad was sentenced. I’d never planned on coming back. Hell, I’d planned on giving Indiana, Illinois, and Ohio a wide berth for the rest of my life.

As we headed for the runway, I gripped the arms of my chair, my knuckles turning white. My seatmate assumed the issue was with the landing, but a part of me was actually hoping that we crashed so I didn’t have to walk through those glass doors and into that city.

I’d do it, of course. Go to the courthouse. Testify. I’d relive all of it if it meant keeping my father in prison.

But it didn’t stop me from wishing I didn’t have to do any of it.

“Dammit, Clay,” I whispered.

I immediately felt guilty. He was coming as a favor to me. He was taking time off work to do it. I wasn’t going to be a bitch and whine because he had to take a few hours to straighten some things out before he came out here to hold my hand.

“It’s okay, sweetie.” My seatmate reached over and patted my hand. “We’ve landed safe.”

I gave him a tight smile and concentrated on not screaming. I had a feeling I was going to be doing that a lot over the next few days.

I really hoped Clay had warned my police escort, because if I slipped and started freaking out, it would be fucking embarrassing.

Just one more thing to look forward to.