Chapter Twenty-One

I skipped the Monday morning breakfast routine on Jefferson and went straight to Aubrey’s house instead. Today would be a longer day, putting the finishing touches on Pixy’s pen and making sure that everything was in order in the event that things didn’t turn out in my favor tonight.

I stopped for two of the goat’s favorite burritos—sans the corn—and brought lunch over to the window.

Watching him gobble them in just a few bites, I scratched his head. “Listen, I have to tell you something important.”

He was too busy licking the burrito wrapper to look up at me.

“I need you to know that if I go away, it’s not because of you. Alright?”

“Baa.”

“I want nothing more than to see you every day and for the three of us to be together. I just don’t know anymore if that’s going to be possible. If it’s not, I have to go away again. Because it will make me too sad to stay.”

He looked at me with his droopy eyes. Even though he was supposedly blind, sometimes I swore he could see me.

“I promise if that happens, I’ll never forget you, Bugger, okay?”

Pixy rested his chin in my hand, and I did something I never had before. Reaching down, I kissed his forehead. It wasn’t the type of kiss I was hoping for in Temecula, but it was the next best thing. He was the official mascot of my time with Aubrey, always at the center of the good memories that we shared. I’d never forget him. I took a selfie of us. Now I could cross “kiss a goat” off my bucket list.

The rest of the afternoon, I went in search of princess flowers. I didn’t want to steal them off the bush I’d planted, so I needed to find a florist who carried them. I was finally able to snag a bouquet and took it back to my motel.

I showered, put on dark jeans and a fitted black shirt and splashed on some cologne. Needing to look and smell my best tonight was going to be important. I decided against calling Aubrey first. I didn’t want her to try to talk me out of coming over. So, showing up at her door tonight would be a gamble.

It was a clear evening. The lights from inside her bungalow lit up the otherwise dark street.

She was home.

I was home.

With my heart racing, I parked my truck around the corner and sat there for at least twenty minutes rehearsing what I was going to say. Someone came out of the house I was parked in front of.

The woman was wiggling her ass with her tits hanging out as she approached my truck in a flimsy nightgown and slippers. When I saw the cast on her hand, I remembered it was Aubrey’s slutty neighbor, Philomena. Now, it seemed she had a cast on her leg as well. What the fuck? This chick was a hot mess.

“Hey, handsome. I saw your truck out here.”

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you lived here. I shouldn’t have parked right in front of your house.”

“Are you kidding? I got all excited, thought maybe you had decided you wanted to mow me after all.”

“No, I’m not in the neighborhood on business.”

“Maybe you’d like to just come in and fuck me then?”

“Wow, well…um…while that’s a tempting offer given your lovely…casts…and all, I’m not really available for that. But thanks.”

“Why don’t you come in for a drink then? I promise I won’t bite.”

“No. Actually, I’m heading over to Aubrey’s.”

She placed her cast on her hip. “You are aware Aubrey has a boyfriend, right?”

“I’m quite aware of that, yes.”

“Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.” She arched her head to see an oncoming car. “Actually, looks like he just turned the corner. This should be interesting.”

“Who?”

“That was Aubrey’s boyfriend’s BMW that just passed by.”

My stomach sank. Fuck.

After Philomena finally left me alone and went back inside, I just sat for the longest time not knowing what to do. Grabbing the flowers, I eventually got out of the truck, planning to just leave them at her doorstep.

As I approached, what I saw in clear view through the window nearly stopped my heart. Aubrey was sitting on the couch with Richard as she leaned her head on his shoulder. She looked content. At peace. It looked like they were watching a movie.

As much as it hurt to see it, I couldn’t look away. That vision was the essence of my dream. There was nothing more in the world that I wanted than to come home every night to her and do exactly that—just be with her. With each second that passed as I stood there, the seeds of doubt were growing. Suddenly, for the first time since arriving in Temecula—even with all the stalking—I truly felt like an outsider looking in. It really hit me. While jail had thrown me into a time warp, time had indeed passed. Aubrey had moved on.

She’d moved on.

You fucking fool, Chance.

This was why you did what you did, remember? It was what you supposedly wanted for her.

At least twenty minutes must have gone by after that realization, and I was still standing in the same spot on the very lawn I’d manicured to perfection. I knew why I was feeling sick.

I was mourning her.

Walking away from her the first time left her devastated. My walking away the second time now would devastate me. This time, I didn’t seem to know how to leave. I couldn’t not say goodbye. For now, I’d leave the flowers at the door, maybe send her a message or call her tomorrow to let her know about my plans to return home to Hermosa Beach.

Arriving at her doorstep, I knelt down to place the flowers over the welcome mat. A thump startled me. Pixy must have smelled me or something. He appeared at the dining room window, which was just on the other side of the front door.

He began to “baa” incessantly.

“Shh!” I warned.

Just as I started to walk away, the exterior light flashed on, and the front door opened. I turned around.

Aubrey was standing there. “Chance…”

Lifting my hand slowly, I said, “Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” She looked down and spotted the flowers, bending to pick them up. “You were leaving these at my doorstep?”

“That’s right. I wasn’t planning to come in.”

Dick appeared, placing his hand possessively around Aubrey’s tiny waist. My eyes landed on it then moved up to meet Aubrey’s frightened expression.

“Mr. Bateman,” Dick said. “How can we help you?”

We.

Fuck you, Princess Fucker.

“I was just coming by with a little token of my appreciation for Aubrey’s assistance with my legal matter.”

“That was nice of you, but you should have stopped by the office instead of coming here.”

Dick.

“Actually, I’ll be leaving early in the morning. So, this was my only opportunity.”

Aubrey had been looking down at the flowers. Her head immediately lifted, and her stare was now penetrating my own. “You’re leaving town?”

“That’s right. My business here is done.” I continued looking straight into her eyes, so she understood how serious this was. “I wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye.”

She stood there speechless. Pixy was standing right by Aubrey’s legs. Knowing what he was angling for, I bent down, closing my eyes to let him lick my face for the last time. When I stood up, Dick, who seemed confused about my instant bond with the goat, looked back and forth between the animal and me.

Tightening his grip on Aubrey, he said, “Well, we wish you the best.”

“Thank you.” I started to walk away before turning around one last time. My voice was strained. “Take good care of her.”

I didn’t care how inappropriate that last comment was. It needed to be said.

Swallowing my pain, I walked across the grass without looking back at her. I couldn’t. After I turned the corner, I got into my truck and sped off.

I headed straight for my motel room. I’d wanted to go to the bar to say goodbye to Carla but was scared of drinking myself into oblivion. Someday soon, I’d write her a letter or something to let her know how much her friendship meant to me.

Aubrey hadn’t called or texted. That only solidified the fact that my leaving was for the best.

Tossing and turning, sleep wasn’t happening for me. Unable to rid my body of the excruciating physical ache of knowing I would never touch her again, I conceded to my insomnia. I sat up at the edge of my bed, pulling my hair in frustration as I looked over at my packed suitcase while checking my phone for what seemed like the hundredth time.

Looking down at my hand, I took off the fake gold band from Vegas and threw it angrily in the trash can. While a part of me never expected her to call, a bigger part of me was shattered that she didn’t. What bothered me the most was that I still couldn’t envision my future without her in it.

A knock at the door startled me.

The motel was in a seedy area, so I made sure to check the peep hole before opening. The view inside was a distorted version of a distraught Aubrey. My confused heart accelerated despite having been emptied earlier of all hope.

I opened the door but said nothing as she walked past me and sat on the bed. I stayed standing across from her. The silence was deafening as we just looked at each other. Then, she started to talk.

“I waited for six hours in the lobby that day…”

When a teardrop fell down her cheek, I grabbed her a tissue and handed it to her before sitting down next to her. My body tensed in anticipation of what she’d say next.

“I was so sure that you were coming back. I kept hearing in my head what you’d told me the night you came home late from getting us dinner in Arizona, when I got scared. You said, ‘I would never do that to you.’ So, I held out hope for a while. I felt like a fool because even though all of your belongings were gone, I still believed you were coming back. I know it was only eight days with you, but I felt closer to you than anyone. I saw a future with you.”

My chest constricted. “Tell me what happened when you got to Temecula. I need to know everything even if it hurts to hear it.”

“I was very depressed for a long while. I threw myself into the new job. A couple of months after the move, I met a guy. He became a really good friend. His name was Jeremy. He was so sweet and good to me. We were friends for six months before he became my boyfriend. He knew everything about what happened between you and me.” She laughed a little, looking over at me for the first time. “He hated you.”

I smiled even though that made me hurt on the inside.

She continued, “I put up a wall, wouldn’t let him in. I was still so wrapped up in you even though you were gone, and you’d hurt me. You were still all I wanted, all I yearned for. Everywhere I went, everything reminded me of you. Jeremy knew it. He wanted more from me than I could give him. He wanted my heart, and even though you’d broken it, it still belonged to you.”

“How did you end up meeting Richard?”

“After things ended with Jeremy, I decided I really needed help. Between my career, my relationships, even my family dealings…I felt…stuck. I started seeing a therapist. She helped me to make some changes and stop blaming myself for your leaving. She helped me move on somewhat from the trust and abandonment issues. I’m still working on them. She also made me see that I had to accept that you weren’t coming back. By the time Richard entered my life seven months ago, I was ready to let someone in again. He was hired as a partner at the firm. That’s how we met.”

“As much as I rank on his name, he seems like a nice guy.”

“I’ve never told him about you. Yes, he is a wonderful person. He and I have a lot of common interests. He encourages me to follow my passion. He’s the reason I started getting involved in the animal shelter.”

“That’s a good thing.”

“He wasn’t the first person to inspire me that way. That was the one thing you did for me, Chance. You taught me so much in a short amount of time about how to live life. Even though you broke my heart, I never regretted meeting you. I still wouldn’t go back and change it. That was the thing that always seemed so fucked up to me. A lot of who I am now is because of you.”

“Do you love him?”

Without hesitation, she said, “Yes.” Her answer felt like a gunshot to the chest at point blank range.

Swallowing, I said, “Okay…”

“I’ve been very confused. As much as I care about Richard, I’m not going to lie. Your showing up has turned my world upside down. I could have never guessed the real reason that you were gone. Everything I believed to be true…isn’t. I assumed you abandoned me for other reasons.”

“I thought I was doing you a favor.”

“Why didn’t you want me to wait for you?” Sounding pained, she added, “I would have waited every single one of those days.”

I caressed her hair. I couldn’t help it. “I never doubted that. But I thought you’d grow to resent me. I didn’t know what being in jail would do to me and didn’t want you waiting for a man who I wasn’t sure would be worth it. In reality, the experience made me a stronger person, but I had no way of knowing that back then. More than anything, you didn’t deserve to have to put your life on hold just when you were trying for a fresh start.”

“Even though I now understand things more clearly, the way you left was still traumatizing. Even if things were different with Richard, I don’t know that I could ever fully trust you not to leave again.”

Hearing that made me uneasy. I stopped beating around the bush.

“Just answer me this. Am I really too late?”

My heart was pounding. She hesitated, and something in her eyes gave me a glimmer of hope. This moment felt like my last opportunity, and I wasn’t too proud to beg.

She was still sitting on the bed when I fell to my knees below her, resting my head on her stomach. “Just tell me what to do, Aubrey.” I repeated, “Just tell me what I need to do to get you to give me another chance.”

I hadn’t been touched by a woman in over two years, so when she raked her fingers through my hair, it seemed to feel better than anything I’d ever experienced in my life. My breath hitched. Her breathing was ragged. Each sound that escaped her went straight to my cock. Being so close like this made me desperate for a taste of her. I wasn’t beyond taking advantage of her sexual attraction to me.

If I had to play dirty, I would. Speaking slowly over her stomach, I said, “Let me make it up to you. I swear you’ll forget all the pain. You won’t even remember your own name.”

“No,” she breathed.

I lowered my mouth and spoke over the skin just below her belly button. “Does he pleasure you? Does he give you what you really need?”

Her legs were quivering. “Chance, stop.”

Her body’s reaction was enough of an answer for me.

I was back in the game.

“Princess, look over there. My suitcase is packed. I’m ready to leave in the morning. Do I have any reason to stay? You tell me.”

A look of torment washed over her pretty face. “I can’t promise anything.”

“I didn’t ask for a promise. I asked for a chance. I’d like to start by just being your friend again…the way we began.”

She got up and started to pace. “I’m still with Richard. I won’t cheat on him.”

“I didn’t ask you to.” I walked toward her slowly, trying not to seem like a lion on the prowl despite my predatory feelings. “So, let me ask you again. Do you want me to stay?”

She looked up into my eyes and whispered, “Yes.”

“Then, I’m here.”

She backed away. “I have to go. I told him I was going out to get ice cream and put gas in my car.”

“You’d better actually go get some then. Be careful. It’s late. When will I see you again?”

“Richard has an early meeting. Meet me tomorrow for breakfast at Starbucks at nine.”

“Us? Together? At Starbucks?”

“Yes. Just don’t order the same thing as me. It’s creepy.”

I grinned.

When the door closed behind her, my previously subtle smile transformed into a huge beaming one.

I walked over to the trash can, dug up my ring and placed it back on my finger.

Slow and steady wins the race.