Chapter Six

We parked the car near the perfect spot overlooking the steep rocky walls of the Grand Canyon. Its beauty was overwhelming.

“Oh my God, Chance. I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of stopping here myself. I’ve always wanted to see it in person. It hadn’t dawned on me that it was right on our way. It’s so breathtaking.”

I looked over at him and saw that he’d been staring at me instead of out toward the majestic peaks.

“Yeah. It’s very beautiful,” he said in a low voice.

“Let’s take a picture.”

With the Canyon as the backdrop, Chance snapped a selfie of us with his phone. He then texted it to me so I’d have it. The snapshot came out so good. The sun was shining into the blue of his eyes, and we both looked so happy and at peace. It made me wish this moment could go on forever, that we never had to leave this place.

As we sat looking out into a blaze of red colors while the sun set over the panoramic scenery, Chance suddenly said, “Tell me about your family.”

“My mother lives back in Chicago. She wasn’t happy about me moving at all. I’m her only child. But ever since she remarried, I’ve felt like she hasn’t needed me as much. My father died a year after I graduated from law school, so at least he got to see me live out his dream, which was that I become a lawyer like him.”

“It was his dream, but not yours…” he said in understanding.

“No. It’s really not what I wanted.”

“What is your dream?”

“I just want to be happy and fulfilled, but I have no clue what that even means anymore or how to get there. So much is up in the air right now for me. I feel like I’m at a crossroads in my life.”

“That’s not the worst thing in the world. Sounds like a good time to find yourself, especially since no one is tying you down.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“Speaking of which, I think we definitely scared off Harry Balls for good.”

Our laughter at his comment caused an echo.

I stretched my arms and stared up at the sky. “You know what? I’m definitely happy right now. This—our little adventure—has been good for my soul.”

He flashed a sincere smile. “You have a good soul. I could see that about you straight away despite your little bitch façade. You know why you’re happy?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re finally loosening up.”

“I guess you took the stick out of my ass while I was sleeping in the tent last night then?”

“Yup. Burned it in the campfire.” He nudged me with his shoulder.

I smiled and changed the subject off of me. “What about your family? Where are they?”

Chance paused and scratched his chin. “Like you, I also lost my father. He died of pancreatic cancer a few years after my injury.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I just have one sister, Adele. She’s two years younger. With Dad gone, my mother and she decided to move back to the states, but I stayed back in Melbourne. I never planned to move back here with them, but Adele got into some really bad shit. She needed me. I had no choice but to leave everything there behind to come handle things here.”

“What happened?”

“It’s a long story, but basically, she took up with a drug dealer and started using as well. It was a fucking nightmare.”

“God, that’s awful.”

“I felt a lot of guilt because with my Dad gone, I was supposed to be the man of the family, looking out for her. I had my head stuck so far up my ass in Melbourne that I didn’t know how bad things were with Adele.”

“Where is she now?”

“Hermosa Beach…lives near me.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’s straightened up a lot, although she’s still a work in progress. She’s not with that motherfucker anymore. That’s the main thing.”

“And your Mom?”

“I was coming back from visiting her when I ran into you, actually. She’s living in Iowa temporarily now to be closer to her mother. My Gram is dying. But my mother was also living in California near us before Gram got sick.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother.”

“Thanks.”

“I think that was very selfless of you to drop everything and move back here for your sister.”

“Well, my life had been nothing but selfish up until then. Nothing should ever come before family. I learned that the hard way. Adele and my mother mean everything to me.”

“They’re lucky to have you. I wish I had a bigger family.”

“You’ll have one of your own someday.”

“I’d like to, but I’m not sure it’s in the cards for me. I haven’t had the best luck with men.”

“Don’t tell me there were bigger douchebags than Harrison?”

I chuckled. “Along the same lines.”

“Let me guess. After you broke up, I bet they all came running back. Am I right?”

Pausing, I said, “Now that I think about it…yeah. I’ve only had a few serious boyfriends, but they all did come back at one point or another asking for a second chance. How did you figure that?”

“Wild guess.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Girls like you are hard to find.”

“Girls like me? Explain.”

“Okay. It’s not hard to find a beautiful woman, right? Definitely not hard to find a smart woman. And there are definitely some women with good hearts. But in my experience, it’s extremely rare to find the whole package.”

“Don’t even try to say you have trouble finding women, Chance Bateman. You could have anyone you wanted.”

He squinted his eyes at me. “Is that what you think?”

“Am I wrong? You’re not a chick magnet?”

“Crazy psycho bitch magnet, maybe.”

“You’ve never found the whole package?”

“The one time I thought I had, it turned out I was dead wrong. I thought it was love, but in retrospect, it was merely infatuation.”

“Was that Piper?”

His expression turned sullen as he looked down. “Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“Piper was my fiancé.”

“Wow. You were going to marry her?”

“Yeah. Proposed to her three months into the relationship. Not too smart.”

“She’s gorgeous.”

“You’re prettier,” he said without hesitation.

“And you’re a fucking liar.”

“I have no reason to lie. I’ve seen her without makeup. I’ve seen you without makeup. I’m telling you that you’re prettier.”

From the pictures I’d seen, Piper was blonde, thin and conventionally beautiful. With my unruly auburn waves and curvy frame, I looked nothing like her.

“How can you say that? She’s a friggin supermodel. How can I possibly compete with that?”

“Your beauty is more natural. You don’t need a drop of makeup. Your hair is out of place and wild. Sexy. The freckles scattered across your nose give you character. I mentally play connect the dots with them. When you move, your tits move with you because they’re not fake. And don’t get me started on your ass. Shall I go on?”

Feeling suddenly shy, I grinned nervously and briefly looked away before asking, “What happened with her?”

“Well, as you know from your stalking me, Piper’s a small celebrity in her own right. I’d met her at a nightclub right around the time I was first signed to the team. She stuck by me for a while after the injury. She really enjoyed the limelight that came along with my sudden and odd fame. But as the months went on, her excitement started to wear off. I wasn’t enough for her anymore. When I’d gone through a bit of a depression, I stopped wanting to go out. She kept on with it and eventually took up with one of my teammates behind my back. She’s married to him now with two kids.”

“Wow. What a cunt.”

Chance bent his head back in laughter. “Princess, did you just use the C word?”

“Yup. First time in my life, but it was worth it.”

“I didn’t know you had such a dirty mouth.”

“Neither did I, but damn, it felt good to say it.”

“I liked hearing you say it. I think you should shout it out into the vast wide open canyon in fact.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. Do it. Do it! Shout it out.”

“Cunt!”

“Say it again louder!”

“Cunt!” my voice echoed.

“Again.”

“CUNT!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

We heard a thump against the window coming from the car parked just behind us. Chance hopped up to check on things. “Ah, crap. You scared the shit out of Mutton. He just dropped down.”

“Oh no.”

“That’s not all.”

“What is it?” I got up and ran toward him.

“When I say scared the shit out of him…I now mean literally. Bugger took a dump all over your backseat.”

“What?”

After Chance did his best to clean the mess with some Wet Ones wipes, the mood of our Grand Canyon excursion had officially been ruined. It was getting too dark to enjoy it anyway.

“Do you mind if we don’t camp tonight?” I asked. “I’d like to shower and sleep in a bed.”

“What do you say we go find a hotel near here, have a nice dinner, hot showers and call it a night. I’d like to sleep in your bed, too.”

“What did you say?”

“I said I’d like to sleep in a bed, too.”

“Oh.”

“What if we can’t find a hotel that will let us take him in?”

“We definitely won’t. So, we’re gonna have to sneak him in.”

Chance stopped at a drugstore on the way to the hotel while I waited in the car. When he returned, he handed me a plastic bag containing bottles of water, snacks, duct tape and…diapers.

“You bought diapers?”

“Yes. Huggies Pull Ups. We’re figuring out how to put one on him, especially if he’s got the runs, and we’re taking him into a nice hotel.”

“I can’t believe I hadn’t thought about this problem before. Had he not gone to the bathroom all this time?”

Chance pointed back behind us. “Did you see how much he shit just now? He was backed up for days!”

We both broke out into hysterical laughter, wiping tears from our eyes. When we finally calmed down, Chance started the car and drove toward the highway.

Somewhere in the middle of Arizona, Chance pulled into the parking lot of a pretty high end hotel about ten minutes off the interstate. After I got our room keys, we came up with a plan where I would distract the front desk clerk while Chance snuck the goat in. He’d wrapped him in one of my comforters and sped past the desk and into the elevator.

Chance had the door adjoining our separate rooms open when I got upstairs.

He’d already managed to put two Pull Ups on Esmerelda Snowflake, wrapping some tape around the top to secure them. Chance hadn’t noticed me, and I watched as the goat jumped into his arms and licked his face.

“Alright, buddy. Calm down. You’re a good mate, you know that? A good mate.”

“You’re being so sweet with him.”

Chance turned his head toward me suddenly, surprised to see me standing there. “Bugger’s growing on me.”

“I know the feeling.”

Because you’re growing on me.

“I was thinking I’d go out and get us something nice to eat. Do you like wine?”

“I do. I’ve actually been dying for a glass.”

“What kind do you like?”

“Any kind of white.”

“I like red. I’ll get both.”

“That sounds great.” I smiled. “Do you know where you’re going?”

“This map here says there’s a strip of restaurants and a liquor store about two miles down the road.”

“Alright. I think I’ll take a shower while you’re gone.”

“Okay. Any special requests for dinner?”

“Surprise me.”

He left, and I retreated to the luxurious bathroom. As the hot water poured down on me, all of the emotions I’d been struggling with the past few days seemed to pummel me all at once. It hit me that we were on the final leg of this trip now. I still had no clue if Chance and I would simply go our separate ways once we got to his stop or if he was interested in more. Based on that phone call I’d overheard, clearly, there was something he was keeping from me. I never flat out asked him if there was currently someone else when he admitted to a “complicated” situation. Even knowing that was a possibility, I couldn’t help my feelings for him. Chance was the only thing that felt right about my life right now—the only thing that felt like home for as long as I could remember.

I threw a t-shirt on along with some cotton shorts and tried to watch a little HBO while I waited for Chance. Esmerelda Snowflake hopped on the bed next to me. An hour went by, but Chance hadn’t returned. With each passing minute, an uneasy feeling grew in my gut.

What if he never came back?

It was a foolish thought. He’d given me no reason to believe that. Still, my reaction was one of slight panic suddenly. Maybe I was just exhausted from the trip, a little delusional. When another half-hour passed, I called his phone. There was no answer.

With each minute, the panic grew, and my eyes started to swell. I couldn’t help it. I knew it was probably an overreaction, but I’d already lost control of my emotions in the shower, and his not returning was adding fuel to the fire.

The door suddenly opened, and I rushed to wipe my tears.

“My God, that was a cluster fuck,” he groaned.

Chance was holding two bags and dropped them down on the desk in my room when he noticed me frantically wiping my eyes.

“Aubrey, are you crying? Did something happen?”

“No. No, I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

He walked toward me. “It doesn’t look like nothing. What the hell is going on?”

“You were gone so long. I called your phone, and there was no answer. I started to think maybe…”

Shit.

He blinked repeatedly. “You thought I wasn’t coming back?”

“It was just a fleeting thought. Deep down, I knew it was ridiculous but couldn’t seem to help it. It’s been a long trip, and I think I’m just tired.”

Chance gently wiped the tears from my eyes with his thumb. “I’m sorry you got scared.” He took my chin in his hands and turned my face to meet his eyes. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

My heart raced as he pulled me into him. My body seemed to melt into his solid, warm frame. His heart thundered against mine as he hugged me tightly. I never wanted him to let me go. Don’t let me go.

When he pulled back, cold air replaced the warmth of his body. “Can we please erase this from memory? I asked. “It was a lapse in sanity.” I wiped the last of my tears and sniffled. “What took you so long, though?”

He didn’t answer. He was still just looking at me with a serious expression as he examined my face. He seemed to be contemplating something. I couldn’t recall him ever looking that serious before. Finally, he said, “I had to go to two different restaurants. The first one told me it would be an hour wait, and the second was no better.” He lifted his phone out of his pocket and connected it to a charger. “My phone died. That’s why you couldn’t reach me.”

I shook my head, muttering to myself, feeling so stupid for overreacting.

He handed me a cup. “Let’s forget this and have a nice dinner, eh?”

Trying my best attempt at a genuine smile, I said, “That sounds good.”

We sat across from each other at the small table in my room as we ate in silence. Chance had ordered three entrees from an Italian restaurant: eggplant lasagna, chicken parmesan and pasta primavera.

He poured wine into the two paper cups. “I know it’s a lot of food, but I figured he’d want to eat as well,” he said, placing a plate of food on the ground for Esmerelda Snowflake.

The tension in the air never let up all throughout dinner. I just kept pouring more Chardonnay to numb my feelings.

Chance went straight back to his room after we cleaned up. That left me feeling empty and confused, like maybe I’d freaked him out with my crying episode. Having had too much wine, I lay on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, which seemed to be slightly spinning. With my buzz granting me false courage, I got up and opened the adjoining door.

The shower was running while the goat waited outside the closed bathroom door. Lying down on Chance’s bed, I curled into the thick down-feathered pillow. When he emerged from the bathroom, he stopped short of the bed. He was wrapped in nothing but a white towel. His thick hair was wet and slicked back. Droplets of water slowly ran down his chest. So overcome with pent up desire, I licked my lips. My heart was beating out of my chest.

“What are you doing in here, Aubrey?”

I sat up suddenly. “Do you not want me here?”

He closed his eyes briefly then said, “It’s late. I think it’s better if you go back to your room.”

That was not like him.

My stomach dropped. Humiliated couldn’t even begin to describe how I felt as I said, “Oh. Yeah. You’re right. I didn’t realize how late it was.”

He just stood there, towering over me with his large hands gripping his sides as I walked past him.

I returned to my room alone, tossing and turning as I ruminated over why all of a sudden he’d turned cold. Chance had sent me so many signals today that he wanted me. We’d opened up to each other. We’d laughed. He’d told me I was pretty. Maybe I misread everything. Maybe he was just being nice. Maybe he was attracted to me but didn’t really want me for himself. Maybe the crying freaked him out. I was more confused than ever. The only thing that seemed certain: by the end of this trip, I was going to end up hurt.