Chapter sixteen
“What are we going to do at Greenwich market?” Jay asked around a mouthful of pastry.
Breakfast in the hotel was amazing. No sign of the usual fry-up that everyone else served. Or maybe I haven’t been to a decent hotel in a long time.
“My mate Darren – he was a base mechanic on my first tour – emailed me the other day that a retail space had opened up at the market. He works for the market’s management team.”
I spread a thick layer of clotted cream on my scone, then added raspberry jam and took a big, delicious bite. Man, these scones could rival my own.
“So, wait,” Jay said with a confused frown. “Why are you interested in retail spaces in Greenwich?” His frown deepened.
I should have told him about my plans to expand the bakery a long time ago, but it never really came up. I’d hate for Jay to think I was hiding things from him, but I was so fucking useless when it came to communicating my thoughts.
The fact that there was no awkwardness between us this morning was all Jay’s doing. He’d woken me up with tender kisses, helped me in the bath and acted like what he’d said last night wasn’t a big deal. Like it didn't change anything between us.
I guess it didn’t, really. Deep down I’d known how he felt about me. Last night he’d made me face it.
“I’m thinking of opening another branch of Cookie’s,” I replied before stuffing my mouth with the remainder of the scone. I needed a few gulps of coffee to swallow it down before I continued. “The bakery is doing really well and I’m facing a decision – expand the business or invest the extra money coming in each month in something else. I don't want to keep it in the bank, and I really don't want to invest in something I know nothing about. So expanding seems like the logical choice.”
Jay nodded. “That’s true.”
We talked some more as we ate, and I told him about my plans to expand in London for purely economic reasons, about appointing Chris as manager so that I had someone I trusted and didn't have to try and run both bakeries at the same time.
“Greenwich market wasn’t my first choice, but after Darren emailed me I researched it, and it seems like the logical choice. It’s much cheaper than any of the big railway stations and the foot traffic is great nearly all year around.”
“I’ve never been, but I’m excited to see it.”
I was glad he’d be with me when we saw the space. He claimed to hate it, but Jay had a mind for business. He was much better at the creative part than the financial part, but still – he'd been actively involved in his family’s business for years and had a lot of experience for his young age.
“Let’s go, then. I really want to get your opinion on this whole thing,” I said, standing up.
Jay raised his brows in surprise, but quickly bowed his head to hide his expression.
******
The market was crowded when we arrived. No wonder – it was Saturday afternoon, a couple of weeks before Christmas. I was starting to second guess my decision to meet Darren on a weekend afternoon – we got elbowed, stomped on, and pushed a dozen times until we finally made our way to the other side of the market where the management offices were.
I texted Darren that we were downstairs waiting for him as we’d agreed. Even though we’d eaten an hour ago, Jay was looking at the stalls with fresh food with such longing that I had to laugh.
“We just ate!” I said when he heard my chuckle and turned to face me.
“I know,” he agreed with a sigh, still glancing at the stalls around us.
The delicious aroma filled the air and it was tempting to wish for something, even if you weren’t particularly hungry. People milled about, most of them carrying shopping bags, as they stopped by each stall, looking at the merchandise with interest.
“Amir!”
I turned around when I heard my name and saw Darren walking towards us, a smile on his kind face. He was a short, stocky man, nearly ten years older than me, but when he smiled he lit up from within. I remembered the time we spent together on base, talking and joking, never a dull moment with Darren.
“So good to see you, Amir,” Darren said as he hugged me. “And who’s this?” His eyes travelled from me to Jay, the smile never leaving his face or his brown eyes.
“This is Jay, my boyfriend.”
They shook hands before Darren pulled Jay in for a hug. Jay looked startled as he met my eyes over Darren’s shoulder. I should have probably warned him that Darren was a hugger.
“Come, let me show you the space and then we can go for a cup of tea,” Darren said, leading us to a little shop at the other corner of the market.
It was currently empty, a sore spot in the lively market. A few people were eating hotdogs in front of it, but quickly moved away when Darren took the keys out of his pocket and made to unlock the door.
It was bare inside, save for a few shelf units propped against the walls. The shop was small, a little bigger than Cookie’s, but there was enough space to fit a couple of tables and chairs.
“It used to be a candy shop, up until a week ago. The owner packed up and left without much of an explanation,” Darren said, spreading his arms wide. “Technically, the rent is paid until end of February, so management is not in a hurry to find a new business. But the moment it opened up, I thought of you. It’s great for your bakery, Amir.”
I nodded, still looking around the small space, trying to imagine what would go where and how it’d all fit. There was running water and lots of electrical outlets, so that was a big plus.
Jay moved closer to me, taking my hand in his and squeezing. I looked at him and he was smiling, his eyes bright with delight.
“It’s perfect,” he mouthed with a glance at Darren to make sure he wasn’t watching us.
“I like it,” I told Darren and he smiled wide.
“Good. There’s not much to see – this is pretty much all it is. There’s a small storage area at the back,” he pointed to a door hidden behind a small alcove. “Let’s go grab a cup of tea and we’ll discuss it further.”
We had to weave through the throng of people to get to the coffee shop at the other side of the market. Darren greeted the girl behind the counter with a warm smile and we were seated at the only available table next to the counter. The coffee shop was packed, but we got our teas quickly, earning us a glare from the customers waiting in line to be served.
“Perks of being the manager,” Darren said with a wink, raising his tea mug in a toast.
“So tell me about the space,” I said after we’d all taken a sip of our hot beverages and warmed up a little.
“It’s not cheap,” he said, reading my biggest concern clearly. “But it’s much cheaper than what you’d be paying for a shoe box at King’s Cross.”
“Is there another bakery or cookie stall at the market?” Jay asked.
“Not a bakery, no. We’ve got this place,” he gestured around him with a hand. “But it’s more of a coffee place, with a limited pastry selection.”
I glanced at the small display window and saw some scones and muffins, a few slices of Victoria sponge, croissants, and a selection of sandwiches. They didn't look too promising, and the lack of equipment behind the counter suggested they didn't bake them on site.
“There’s a couple of stalls that sell treats like cakes and cookies and miniature pancakes, but they’re here only three days a week. In my opinion,” Darren winked at Jay, “Amir won’t have too much of a competition,” he finished, taking another sip of his tea.
“Is it always this crowded?” I asked.
“Pretty much. Weekends are always busy, no matter the weather.”
It made sense – weekends were busy everywhere, but also, the market was nestled under a solid roof, surrounded by shop buildings that effectively cut it off from any rain or strong winds.
“Week days are quieter, but there’s still a lot of people coming,” Darren continued. “Unlike many other London markets, people flow is not mainly tourists. There’s a lot of them, mind you, but the majority of customers are regulars. Here, most of the products are unique. You can’t just rent a stall or a retail space and start selling any old crap. Every single trader has been vetted by the management, their product quality checked. We try to offer our customers something they can’t find anywhere else, so they keep coming back.”
Darren went on to explain the vetting and application process, hinting that the management would be more than happy to have my bakery at the market. Jay and I had a lot of questions, which Darren answered in detail, and by the time we were finished talking it was getting dark outside. The lights in the market flickered to life, the sudden burst of light outside the coffee shop’s window startling me out of the conversation. A quick glance at my watch told me it was definitely time to go.
Darren walked us out of the market, promising to email me all the information I’d need to make my decision, and a sample contract to get a better idea what I’d be dealing with.
“Like I said, rent on the space is paid till the end of February, so you have a few weeks to think about it,” he said, shaking my hand.
We thanked him and hurried towards the train station. According to the app on my phone the next train was in seven minutes and we needed to be on it if we wanted to make our next reservation.
******
Queen Victoria was full to the brim when we arrived with five minutes to spare before curtain call. We’d nearly had to run from the Japanese place round the corner to the theatre, so engrossed in our conversation over delicious teriyaki chicken and noodles that I didn’t even realise how time flew.
Our seats were in the middle of the row and getting there earned us a few dirty looks from everyone who had to stand up and let us pass.
“I don’t think I can see an empty seat,” Jay said as we took our seats. “I still can’t believe you managed to score tickets just a week in advance.”
Looking at the crowded theatre, I could barely believe it myself.
The lights dimmed and I could feel Jay practically vibrating with excitement next to me. I twined my fingers with his, my heart lurching in my chest when he beamed at me.
With no warning, the hall went dark. Jay took a sharp, startled breath, squeezing my fingers. Hundreds of people in the theatre and yet it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
A bass line sounded in the silence, loud and clear, making Jay jump. I caressed the back of his hand with my thumb, feeling him relax in his seat again. Drums and electric guitar joined in, the rhythm of the song reminding me of a classic rock ballad.
A voice sounded behind the still drawn curtain, smooth and sensual, in perfect sync with the instruments.
I knew what I was getting into was reckless.
I knew I might end up dead in a ditch instead of at the top of the charts
I knew I should have known better
And yet I jumped head on
And god knows I enjoyed the free fall
The voice carried a hint of danger, a foreboding yet seductive quality that made my skin prickle with goosebumps. The curtain hadn’t even lifted yet and I was already fully engrossed in the show. No wonder Poison was a permanently sold-out phenomenon.
Hit it, the voice shouted. On his command, the full orchestra joined the other instruments and the curtain lifted, revealing Fenix Bergman standing on a podium, the stage covered in white smoke. He was stunning – tight leather trousers; a black t-shirt with a phoenix rising from the ashes; biker boots and leather cuffs on both wrists. His blond hair was a tousled perfection, falling carelessly into his heavily made-up eyes.
I cast a sideways glance at Jay who was staring at Fenix, mouth open, his hand going slack in mine. I tightened my fingers around his, and when he looked at me, an adorable blush crept up his cheeks.
“Busted,” I whispered in his ear.
Jay bit his lower lip, shaking his head slightly, his eyes glued to the stage.
The whole musical was an exhilarating, fast-paced, intense experience that blew my mind. The mesmerising pyro-effects, the graphic sex scenes and drug use, and the non-stop original music were more suitable for a rock festival than a century old theatre. And, of course, Fenix Bergman – the sexy, charismatic cherry on the cake that kept the entire audience enthralled for two hours. His presence on stage was compelling; his voice, the way his body moved, his whole performance was hypnotising. I couldn't look away.
The final scene of the musical left me breathless. Fenix Bergman danced on stage, nearly naked, wearing only a pair of black tights. A thunder sounded over the music, and then rain poured over the stage, soaking Fenix in mere seconds. He didn’t seem to mind, though. He kept dancing, his body slick with water, his wet hair plastered to his head, his make-up running down his cheeks.
The theatre remained silent when the music stopped. It wasn’t until Fenix bowed that the audience erupted in the loudest applause I’d ever heard.
“That was... I don't think I have a word in my vocabulary to describe what we just saw,” Jay said when we stood up to applaud the cast. He had a dazed look in his eyes as if he’d gotten high on the talent on stage tonight.
The applause lasted so long that my palms were red by the time we left our seats.
******
“Where are we going?” Jay asked breathlessly as I hurried down the street, pulling him behind me.
“To a club.”
He caught up to me, his smile wide with excitement. His cheeks were pink, as much from the cold as from the two cocktails we’d just had.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I beamed at him, as excited as he was to go to a club, dance and drink all night with Jay in my arms, everything else in my life locked securely outside of the club’s door.
Lono’s was a gay club tucked in the heart of the West End. It wasn’t hugely popular, but I preferred low-key, classy places than the latest hit. I knew from Peter that a mutual army pal Trevor was working as head of security at Lono’s, but I never thought I’d use this information. I rarely went to London anymore and when I did it was usually for work, gay clubs the last thing on my mind.
I saw the queue in front of the club when we turned a corner into Park Street. My heart dropped. What if Trevor wasn’t working tonight? Or if he didn’t even remember me? We’d served together on my first tour, but that was over six years ago. There was no way we could wait in front of the club for what seemed like an hour before there was even a chance we’d be let in. My leg was already starting to feel uncomfortable in the prosthetic, meaning I’d have to take it easy once we were inside. But I was determined to ignore it and have a good time with Jay tonight. I could rest tomorrow.
I led Jay to the front of the queue, earning us a few disgruntled comments. I didn't care. I needed to see if Trevor was there.
“What are you doing?” Jay whispered, looking around at the people waiting patiently in line. A guy in leather pants and more gel in his hair than the cast of Grease combined flipped him off, but thankfully kept his mouth shut. The menacing glare I aimed his way probably helped him make the right decision and not offend Jay any further.
Luckily, Trevor was there. He was keeping his distance from the two bodyguards at the entrance, but I could see him under the alcove, the bright sign with the club’s name casting red and green lights on his familiar face.
“Trev!” I yelled, catching his attention.
His eyes shifted to me, but his expression remained stoic. I smiled and waved, hoping he’d remember me, or even take a step closer and let me talk to him without having to yell.
It took him a few seconds but slowly recognition lit up his face with a huge smile.
“Amir?” he said, walking over to us.
“It’s me, man,” I said when he reached us, gathering me into a bear hug.
Trevor was a couple of inches taller than me and twice as broad. When he wanted to he could freeze a man with a single scowl aimed his way, but most of the time he had a warm smile for anyone.
“I’ll be damned! Never expected to see you here!” Trevor clapped me on the back, making me stumble a little, to Jay’s amusement.
I was still holding Jay’s hand when Trevor’s eyes landed on it. Realisation made his eyes widen.
“You’re gay?” There was no accusation or disapproval in his voice, just surprise.
Back on my first tour nobody knew I was gay. I confided in Peter on my second tour but only because we became good friends. It was nobody’s business but mine and the guy I was fucking.
“Yeah.”
Jay tensed next to me, probably expecting some sort of an argument. I squeezed his fingers, letting him know it was alright. Trevor was a good guy, he’d never make a big deal out of it. Besides, the guy worked as head of security in a gay club. Two guys holding hands probably wasn’t the most scandalous display of affection he’d ever seen.
Trevor laughed, then squeezed my shoulders with one arm while extending his other hand to Jay. He introduced himself and clapped Jay on the back. I couldn't help but smirk when Jay coughed.
“Come on, then. You didn't come here to chat with an old man,” Trevor said, leading us past security and inside the club. “Have fun. Anything you need, come find me.” Trevor had to yell to be heard over the music inside the club. I gave him the thumbs up and headed further inside, Jay on my heels.
It wasn’t crowded yet and we managed to find a nice table close to the dance floor. I slumped into the crescent shaped sofa, relieved to be taking the weight off my leg. Jay jerked his chin towards the bar, indicating he was going to get us drinks, and then disappeared between the dancing bodies. I could still see him when he reached the other end of the dance floor and propped his elbows on the bar, leaning in to give the bartender his order.
Soon, Jay swayed towards me, his hips moving to the rhythm of the song, his hands full of two tall glasses.
“What’s that?” I asked when he put the cocktails down on the table. In the dim light of the club I couldn’t even tell what colour the liquor was.
“Sex On My Face,” Jay said with a wide smile.
“You chose it because of the name, didn't you? You’ve no idea what’s inside?”
“None whatsoever.” Jay raised his glass for a toast, taking a sip when we clinked our glasses together. “Good Lord, that’s horrible. I’ll get the Cock Sucking Cowboy next time,” he said, nose scrunched in disgust.
I palmed the back of his neck when our cocktails were safely back on the table and brought his mouth down to mine. I could taste the alcohol on his tongue and the lemony aftertaste from the drink. Scooting closer, Jay wrapped his arms around my neck, deepening the kiss. His tongue slid softly against mine, his lips tasting my own, his fingers digging into my skin.
Jay’s lips moved along my jaw, leaving a trail of soft kisses behind. He nipped the skin under my ear, making me groan in frustration. With just a kiss, he was driving me crazy with lust.
“Let’s dance,” he whispered in my ear before trailing kisses down my neck.
So, we danced. The club got increasingly crowded as time went by, making it more difficult to manoeuvre between our table, the dance floor, and the bar. The burn in my leg increased, but I ignored it as much as I could. I was having an amazing time, dancing with my boyfriend, kissing him until he melted in my arms, joking, laughing, and drinking without a care in the world.
“I’m tired,” Jay yelled in my ear as we swayed to the music on the dance floor. “Wanna head back to the hotel?”
I was pretty sure he wasn’t tired. He was saying it for my benefit, and while I loved his consideration, I really didn't need the reminder I was a fucking cripple, unable to dance with my boyfriend all night long.
Even in the dim light, the irritation must have shown on my face because Jay leaned closer and circled his arms around my waist. He met my eyes, the strobe lights making his own change colour every two seconds.
“I love you. All of you,” he said, keeping me trapped in his gaze.
I kissed him. A part of me still didn't understand what Jay saw in me, but the rest of me was so damn grateful.
We kept dancing, slower this time, Jay unwilling to step away from me enough to increase his movement range. He kept holding on to me, constantly touching me as if he was afraid I might disappear.
I wasn’t going anywhere.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed before we went back to our table. As much as I tried to put a brave face on, my leg was really starting to hurt. I didn't need to be an asshole about it, I knew that. If I wanted to go Jay wouldn't mind. But my damn pride kept me from voicing my pain.
Jay went to get drinks and I managed to relax back into the sofa, finding a comfortable position to take the pressure off my leg. It took Jay longer to come back this time, but when he did he had a huge grin on his face. Setting the drinks on the table, he plonked down next to me, jostling my body.
“I think I just saw Fenix Bergman and Jared Hartley!” He could barely contain his excitement.
I smiled widely. “Yeah?”
Jay nodded, his eyes already eagerly scanning the crowd. I felt more than saw the moment he located them. His whole body coiled up like a snake ready to strike.
“There!” He pointed towards a couple on the dance floor.
Squinting against the throbbing lights, I tried to decide if the men grinding against one another were in fact Jared and Fenix. And then the blond one took a step away from his partner and started moving.
Yes. This was definitely Fenix Bergman.
Jay’s eyes were wide and glued to the dance floor. Jared was a good dancer, but Fenix’s talent was out of this world. The guy moved so effortlessly, as if his bones were liquid. Jared couldn't keep his hands off him for too long, pulling him closer every few minutes or so, devouring his mouth and every inch of skin he could touch.
They were hot together, and yet their display of affection didn’t seem crude. I felt as if I was intruding on an intimate moment between them, even if they were in the middle of a crowded club.
The song changed and Jared grabbed Fenix’s hand, dragging him towards the bar. I scooted out of the sofa, extending my hand to Jay. He eyed me suspiciously, but stood up and took it.
“Where are we going?” He asked as we weaved our way between the dancing bodies.
“To the bar.”
“But our drinks are nearly full...” I turned to wink at him over my shoulder, seeing as realisation dawned on him. “No!” he said, digging his heels in.
It was too late. We were in front of the bar, right behind Fenix who had an arm around Jared’s waist as they waited for their drinks. I pulled Jay next to me, casually wrapping an arm around his shoulders when we stood right next to Jared and Fenix.
“Hi,” I said, turning a smile in their direction.
I could feel Jay trying to shrink away from me but I didn't let him.
“We just saw your show,” I told Fenix. “My boyfriend is a huge fan of yours, of both of you,” I clarified, casting a glance at Jared.
Jay buried his face in my neck, mortified.
“Really?” Fenix said, beaming.
Jay raised his head, clearing his throat before he spoke.
“Yes. I love musicals and, um, I think you’re really talented. Both of you,” Jay stammered, his voice wavering a little.
Both men smiled charmingly at him, asking for his name and shaking his hand. Fenix inquired if we liked the show, what other shows Jay liked, and what he’d seen so far. His easy-going manner and warm smile put Jay at ease and I felt his shoulders relax. He even managed to gather enough courage to ask for a selfie with them both, and then invited me into the picture. Fenix grabbed a napkin from the bar and signed it to Jay, apologising he didn't have any promotional stuff with him right now. Jared signed it too before passing it to Jay who looked ready to faint with excitement.
When the bartender brought their drinks, I raised my hand to catch his attention and point towards the drinks, then myself. He nodded, pointing towards me when Fenix handed him a bill.
“They’re on me,” I said when they both faced me.
“You don’t have to...” Fenix started, but I raised my hand to interrupt him.
“My pleasure.” They nodded, taking their cocktails from the bar. “Enjoy your night, guys.”
With a wave, they disappeared in the crowd.
“Wow! I can’t believe you just did that,” Jay said, burying his face in the crook of my neck again. I tightened my arms around him. “Thank you,” he whispered against my skin.
******
We pretty much passed out after stumbling into bed at 4 AM. It’d been a great night, but we were both exhausted beyond belief.
We spend nearly the entire Sunday in bed. I’d paid for late check-out so we didn't have to hurry out of the hotel at noon. After the night we’d had I was so happy I’d thought of that when booking the room.
Jay spoiled me the entire day, not letting me leave the bed but for a quick shower. He ordered room service for breakfast, and then again for late lunch before we left. He massaged my whole body with some fragrant oil he had stashed in his bag – it smelled of geranium and lavender, and felt amazing on my skin. After the massage my body felt loose and pliant, but my cock had a mind of its own. Painfully hard, I needed Jay to pay attention to that part of my body, too.
He did. With a devilish smirk, he used the same oil to lube my cock and prepare himself, before straddling my thighs and riding me until I saw stars.
On the train home, Jay snuggled closer, laying his head on my shoulder and falling asleep before the train left London. Tomorrow, real life would flood my world again, dragging along all the mundane worries and daily tasks. But right now, I still had Jay right next to me, and our time was still ours.
I was determined to enjoy it while I could.
I kissed the top of Jay’s head, then lay my own on top of his, closing my eyes, letting my mind wander aimlessly, the repetitive lull of the train luring me to sleep.