A pair of doe eyes have been stalking my every move, no matter how much I try to ignore them. Maggie hardly looked at me on Saturday. But she sure as fuck looked at me when she came by to give me that money back last week.
I’m kind of ashamed to admit I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve jacked off since, remembering the way she stared at me, all flushed and overwhelmed.
Kind of.
Throwing the lid of my toolbox closed, I lean back against the workbench, trying to wipe some of the grease off my fingers with a rag while ignoring the stirring of my cock.
Jared left work a little while ago, some crap about having to help Vera settle a dispute with the venue she’d picked for their wedding. I can only imagine how the spitfire is going to handle a “dispute.” It makes me laugh under my breath. No wonder he wanted to bail and be there. Vera doesn’t get mad; no, she gets scary evil. The likes of which even I don’t wanna mess with.
And Jared’s marrying her. Christ.
I still can’t believe my shithead brother is getting married. It sets off a weird pang in my chest, and I don’t know why. Could be that I wish I’d been around to see Vera knock him on his ass. But I know it’s more than that.
I always thought I’d be first. Maggie and me. We were as solid and unyielding as a block of fucking concrete. But I guess even the strongest of things can start to wear over time. Pity I didn’t realize that each chip, that every crumbling piece that tried to break us, would one day lead us here.
Not so indestructible now.
“Yo, Fel. You heading out soon?” Butch hollers then winces with a chuckle. “Should probably stop calling you that, now huh?”
Shaking my head, I toss the rag into the plastic bin and head to the wash bay to scrub the shit out of my hands. “True either way, isn’t it? And yeah.”
“True indeed.” He shrugs. “Felix, felon.”
I shake my hands dry and step out of the way for him to wash his own. “How’s that Panhead coming along?” I ask him.
He grunts. “It’s fucking coming, all right.”
Laughing quietly, I head for the door. “You all right to lock up?”
“Sure thing, Fel.”
I make my way out to my bike—a 1947 Knucklehead that I’ve pulled apart and put back together so many times I’ve lost count. I’m about to start it when a familiar voice startles me.
“Hey, stranger.”
Sam. Fuck.
I spin around, not knowing how I didn’t see her there leaning against her car on the other side of the small lot. “Hey, Sam.”
I go to start my bike anyway, wanting to get home and call Maggie if I can work up the courage. It’s only been four days since I last saw her and Archie, but it feels fucked as hell that any amount of time should separate me from my son after all the time I’ve already missed.
It’s obvious Sam came here for a reason, though.
My hands drop back to my sides as I curse repeatedly in my head. I might be a dick, but I need to draw the line somewhere.
“Been busy?” she asks, walking over and swinging her keys around her finger. “I called the other day, but you didn’t answer.” She adjusts the low-slung tank she’s wearing, and I move my eyes away, not wanting to ogle her fucking tits.
“Flat out. Finally catching up now, though,” I admit.
She nods. “Want to grab some dinner?”
I scowl, raising an eyebrow at her, and she rushes to say, “Just a quick bite.”
Chewing the fuck out of the inside of my cheek, my eyes fall on her blue ones and she smiles. Maybe this time, she’ll talk. And this time, I’m not going to let her evade the questions either. “Sure. I could do with a burger or something.”
I tell her I’ll meet her there, not wanting to be cramped in the interior of her small car with her. She’s determined. For what reason, though, I don’t know. Well, yeah, I guess I do. But she’s also been a part of my life for even longer than Maggie, so I do care about the chick—as a friend—but even that says a lot, coming from me.
We grab some burgers and fries from a small diner in the middle of the city. Even though the food isn’t great, I wanted to avoid showing up at Shake N’ Burger with Sam. Just the thought of going to a place with her that I often frequented with Maggie makes my gut churn.
She talks to me about work while we wait. She’s a hairdresser and always has funny stories about some of her clients. Takes a lot to make me laugh these days, but she cracks one out of me.
“You seem to be doing a lot better,” she remarks after we start eating, taking a sip from her shake. Shrugging, I take another bite from my burger. “You’ve been seeing Archie?”
Brows furrowing, I say, “Yeah, quite a few times now.”
Sam looks down at her half-eaten burger. “How is she?”
“Maggie?” I watch as she gives a short jerk of her head in affirmation. “To be honest, I have no idea.”
She lifts her head then, confusion wrinkling her brow. “But you’ve seen her?”
I don’t want to get into this shit with her, but I guess I should tell her something, especially if I want some answers of my own. “Of course, I have. She’s just … quieter, I suppose. Got no idea what’s going on in that head of hers anymore.” Which is fucking with my own head and heart in a way I never predicted. It almost seems like Maggie’s only half there. The other half of the girl I used to know is hiding, or even worse, gone.
Guilt crawls over my skin when I watch Sam’s face fall. “Sam, about the other week … the kiss—”
“Don’t,” she says. “I offered, knowing you’d only do it to get back at her. No need to explain.”
“I know, but shit, I’m still sorry.” She sits back in the booth, glancing away. I seize the opportunity. “You and Ryan, you never answered my question when we had coffee.”
She quirks a blond brow at me, smirking. “Why do you want to know?”
I shake my head, taking a sip of water before saying, “Haven’t seen him since I got out. Just think that’s a bit weird.”
Her eyes shutter momentarily. “He’s probably busy, being his usual money-making self.”
“Right.” I take a few more bites of my burger, washing it down with more water. “You got his number? You know I got a new phone.”
She starts fidgeting with the straw in her drink. “Why do you want to talk to him?”
“I don’t. Not really,” I admit. I don’t admit that it’s more of a need to at this point.
“Look, I think you should let it go. Being around him only causes you trouble.” She laughs shallowly. “I know that better than anyone.”
I wouldn’t say her and Ryan were ever serious, but they’ve been together on and off since Maggie and I got together. A damn long time. So it’s fair to say that she does know.
“I know what I’m doing.” My voice lowers as my ire rises. “You don’t think I’ve learned from my mistakes?”
She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, and I start to grow more impatient. “But … don’t you owe him money?”
“What?” I almost spit the word at her.
She looks a little sheepish now. “The advance he gave you. You know, that you got before you, well, attempted to do the job.”
Is she for real? Is he for real? He never said anything about that five thousand. Most of it was sucked into paying for my legal team, anyway. Gone a long time ago.
“You’re shitting me, right?”
She shakes her head, then shrugs. “It’s just something he mentioned a while ago. Can’t even remember really.”
I wipe my mouth with a napkin, then fist it in my hand, trying to rein in the disbelief that’s making me want to throw something. “That’s bullshit. He’s never said anything about it.”
She doesn’t say anything else either, just silently finishes more of her fries.
I decide I’ve had enough. I need to get home and talk to Jared about this latest revelation.
Tossing the napkin and some money onto the table, I stand.
“Wait,” Sam says. “I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Maybe it’s not even true. I don’t know.”
I don’t respond, just wait for her to get up, then walk her to her car.
My spine tingles when we reach it, my eyes scanning the small crowd on the street outside the string of restaurants until they find that auburn hair.
Maggie. What the hell is she doing here?
She’s with those guys.
“Lix?” Sam says, touching my arm just as Maggie spots me standing here. “I’ll see you soon?”
I nod absentmindedly at Sam, and she kisses my cheek before getting into her car.
Maggie stops, the two guys she’s with not realizing until they reach me, then backing up to see what she’s doing. Which is staring at me with sorrow filled brown eyes.
I’ve been through a lot of shit in my time on this earth, but I don’t think anything’s worse than having the woman you love look at you like you’ve torn her heart out one too many times, and she’s had enough.
With my own heart in my throat, I look away, like a coward, and my eyes find Archie.
One of the guys is holding my boy. Without thinking, I walk over to them, moving to take him from the tall dude with black hair who I haven’t met, but he scowls and steps back.
“Oh, uh, that’s Felix, Jake.”
Jake looks at Maggie, then back at me, muttering, “Wonderful.”
“Yeah, hey,” I mumble distractedly, my gaze still pinned on my sleepy son.
“He’s pretty tired,” Jake says, hard eyes never leaving me. “We should get him home, Maggie.”
She agrees silently, and Jake moves around me with Archie, putting him in a fancy black Rover parked by the curb. It’s similar to the one I stole. Well, attempted to. My fists clench.
“Bunches,” the other guy says. Wayne maybe? Shit, I really wasn’t paying much attention to his name the few times I’ve met him.
Maggie looks at me, and damn if I don’t feel like she’s taken a sledge hammer right to my chest, knocking the wind out of me with that one final look. She nods then skirts around me, too.
I grab her arm. “Mags, wait.”
She pulls it free. “It’s getting late. We really do need to get him home.”
She doesn’t look at me again before getting in the back of the car.