My hard work’s paying off. One night out and she’s already asking for my cock—albeit for all the wrong reasons. My cock is pulsating with excitement at the prospect of having Vicky in my bed. Feeling the effects of her touch, I ball my hands into fists. Judging from my past, it won’t take long before sex is all I’ll be able to think about. Whatever I want, I usually get.

Right now, I want Vicky.

More of her lips to find out what she tastes like.

More of her body, naked and at my disposal.

More of her as a person.

I’m filled with a longing to know more about her, about her life, who she is deep down, after all the walls have crumbled and she is laid bare.

“What are you doing here?” I ask for the umpteenth time. “Has Bruce fucked up and now you’ve decided you want to get rid of him after all?”

“Not funny.” She smirks, but the skin around her eyes crinkles a little.

“What’s the story then?” I prompt.

“We’re going through a rough patch. I’d rather not talk about it, if you don’t mind.”

Usually, I wouldn’t care and would leave it at that. But she looks like she needs someone to spill her heart out to.

“No, I actually want you to tell me what happened.”

“I can’t,” Vicky says, her tone imploring. Her eyes are staring at me, pleading. “Please don’t ask me to tell you.”

“Tell me or nothing’s happening tonight.” I don’t know where that just came from. But it feels right. I want her to want me, not a revenge fuck.

She rolls her eyes. “Oh, please. Don’t tell me you don’t miss sex. We both know you only invited me along so you could fuck me. So, here I am.” Her honesty hits me hard and fuck, it makes me sound like a weak jerk who can’t get a woman unless he’s broken her will with the help of a couple drinks on a night out.

I want to fuck her.

And, yes, I invited her along in the hope of getting closer to her.

But I’m not sure it’s the same thing she’s just described.

“What are you waiting for?” She presses my hand against her breast and makes a moan-like sound that I’m sure is supposed to entice me. She’s so drunk, I doubt she’ll remember a thing come tomorrow. I doubt she knows what she’s doing. This isn’t going the way I imagined at all. I could fuck her and be done with it, but the prospect of being her rebound, of taking part in her little revenge sex plan, isn’t appealing.

I’m not going to fuck a woman who’s so drunk she can’t think straight.

“I can’t.” I withdraw my hand.

“Are you honestly saying no to them?” She shakes her breasts in my face. I stare for a moment, wondering whether I’m making a stupid mistake.

“That’s not the point.” I shake my head and turn away from her. “The point is that you’re in a very vulnerable frame of mind, and I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

I feel bad saying it.

My wish is about to come true, and I’m being an ungrateful jerk.

But, fuck. I don’t want to be one of those guys who need to resort to alcohol to get a woman. That’s never been me, and I’m most certainly not turning into one right now—no matter how hot she looks in that dress of hers.

“Look, I’m your friend, Vicky. I do care about you, but I can’t just say yes to your request.” Fuck, even my balls are hurting as I speak those words.

She stares at me for a long time. “Can you get me another drink?”

“No more drinks.” I shake my head and peer at the time. We’re skating toward our morning counseling sessions. If she continues like this, she’ll barely be able to walk, let alone make it through a session without falling asleep.

“Why?” She pouts. I peer at those luscious lips of hers and can’t shake off the image of them wrapped around my cock.

“You can barely sit straight,” I point out.

“Alright, Daddy.” She kicks off her shoes, then pulls up her legs, resting her chin on her knees. “I’m going to tell you something. But if I tell you, you need to promise me that you won’t judge. Not me. Not him. And not one single word about it in the future. When I’m done, I want you to fuck me because I really need to know how I rate.” She stretches out her leg and drapes it over mine. “Promise me.”

I brush my fingertips over her ankle, up to her knee, marveling at how soft her skin is.

“We’ll talk about your secrets later.” I rest my hand on her knee and inch a little closer. “I want to hear your story first.”

“What’s my story?” She lets out a laugh. “Um, let me see. I was born, grew up, the usual stuff. What’s really important is that I’m sick and tired of hearing about people getting engaged. I’m tired of being alone and fighting an uphill battle. I feel like I’m counting on something that may never happen. There’s just too much I want. I want a family, a home, kids. I want true love and someone who loves me. And Bruce?” Her body begins to shake slightly. “It all seems possible with him. We spent most of our first date talking about family, marriage, all the things I want.”

I cock my eyebrow. No guy ever does that—unless he wants to score. That he got the chance and didn’t take it is strange.

Her gaze meets mine. “He told me that he needs a woman who wants to take that step.”

“He told you that on your first date?”

“Yeah.” Nodding her head, she turns to stare out of the window, her eyes lost in the darkness. “I don’t know what happened. I thought we wanted the same things from life. But obviously, that’s not the case. Or maybe he just doesn’t want them with me, or why else would he insist that we keep our relationship a secret?”

I listen in silence as she goes on to explain how the restraining order happened, and why it’s limited all contact.

It’s a clear game of push and pull—as old as relationships—but the only thing that doesn’t make sense are his motivations.

For the life of me, I can’t imagine why Bruce would talk about marriage, unless he wants to sleep with her or he’s after her money— which she doesn’t seem to have a lot of.

The more she talks about him, the more I get the feeling that he’s using her. But how can I ask without hurting her feelings?

Eventually, I can’t bear it any longer. “Does he stand to inherit something if he marries?”

She stares at me blankly. “I don’t think so. He’s already rich.”

Okay, scratch that off the list.

It clearly still is a game to him.

My hands ball into fists. The knowledge is there, hidden somewhere at the back of my mind. I just can’t grasp it yet.

Vicky notices my reaction.

“You promised not to be angry, Kade.”

“I’m not angry. I’m pissed.” My tone is sharp, livid. “This guy’s a total asshole.” The statement shuts her up.

She turns back to the window, and her shoulders are slightly shaking. Her face is turned away from me, and for a moment I fear that she’s crying silently.

Maybe I’ve been too harsh.

“Don’t cry. Please. It’s not your fault he’s—” I break off as she turns to face me. That’s when I realize she’s laughing.

I frown.

Didn’t she hear what I just said about her beloved Bruce?

“Do you think this is funny?” I ask.

“I’m sorry,” she says, her entire body shaking now. “I know this is supposed to be a serious conversation, but I just can’t help myself.” She laughs, nearly falling into hysterics. “My whole life’s this big mess. It’s like I’m performing on a stage and any minute now someone’s going to pour a bucket of water over my head. So, can we get on with it and just have sex?”

“That’s it.” I knock on the divider.

The glass slides down.

“You’ve taken us far enough,” I say to the driver. “Stop the car.”

“What are you doing, Kade?” Vicky asks between laughs. “Are you going to throw me out? Because if you are, make sure to give me one of those bottles to last me through the night.”

The car halts. I grab Vicky’s hand, her bag, and pull her out of the car. She doesn’t put up much of a fight but keeps laughing as I tip the driver.

“You’re making too much noise,” I whisper. “I need you to keep quiet before someone notices us.”

“What the hell?” The limousine speeding off seems to sober her. “How are we supposed to get home?”

“Quite simple. We walk.” I sling her handbag over my shoulder and wonder what the fuck she’s carrying in there.

“I’m not walking.” As if to prove her point, she stomps her foot and stands her ground.

Sighing, I turn to her. “You’ll have to because there’s no way in hell I’m carrying you.” I point up the winding street and the lights shimmering in the distance. The sun will rise soon. It’s only a matter of time until everyone’s up. “That’s a twenty-minute walk. We can make it in fifteen if you can keep up with me. The fresh air will help you calm down a bit.”

“I’m calm,” she protests.

“No, you’re not.” Our eyes lock in a fierce battle. For such a small person, she sure knows how to stand her ground.

The moonlight is shining on us, bathing her in a silver glow. It looks like her whole being is encased in fire and her red hair is a burning mane. For a moment, I’m honestly convinced that I’ve got things under control when she starts giggling again.

“It was a mistake to bring you along.” I start to walk, not waiting for her to follow.

The air’s cooled noticeably. The night’s as silent as a grave; the only sound is the thumping of her footsteps. I hasten my pace because I can hear her getting closer, catching up with me.

“Talk to me, Kade.”

So close to the rehab center. I can’t have her in hysterics again, so I keep quiet.

“Are you still angry with Bruce?” she asks. “I don’t think he’s ready yet. That’s all. We’re going through a rough patch. It won’t last forever.”

We’re back to square one.

I shake my head grimly and keep going. “True love isn’t about two people fighting an uphill battle right from the beginning of their relationship. Everyone who’s been married for a long time will tell you that. That’s not you two. I’m sorry, but you know it’s true.”

“I love him, Kade.” She sounds so desperate to believe her own lie, I want to turn around and kiss the life out of her until she realizes that nothing she feels for that asshole even remotely resembles love.

“Who are you fooling?” I ask instead.

“Who the hell are you to question my feelings?”

She’s getting angry again.

“I’m the man who cares about you.” I stop and turn sharply. She comes dangerously close to bumping into me. Even though there’s no need, I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her close enough to feel her breath on my lips. “Like it or not, I’m the only one who’s honest with you.”

Her eyes narrow, but she doesn’t pull away. “Honest about what?”

“You think you’re in love with him, but the truth is that you’re deluding yourself. You deserve someone better.”

She cocks her head. “How would a sex addict know?”

“What? You think I was never in love?”

“I don’t think someone like you is capable of loving.” Her eyes widen and she takes a step back, as though shocked by her own remark.

“It’s okay. I’m not offended,” I say. “Look, I’m a lot of things, and that includes not wanting to form any sort of commitment. But I’m not incapable of loving. I was in love once in my life. That happened a long time ago, and I hope it stays that way.”

“I told you my story, and now it’s only fair that you tell me yours, Kade.”

I consider rejecting her request. Ah, what the hell? “Fine. It’s not like you’ll remember any of this.” I hold her hand as we resume walking. “I was twenty, and I was in love with this girl, alright? She meant the world to me. Back then, I truly believed we had a good thing going. At some point, even the word marriage came up. As you can probably guess, something happened.” Taking a deep breath, I realize something. Old wounds might have healed, but the scars are still here. No one ever leaves your life without leaving their footprint in the sands of your being.

“Did she die?” Vicky whispers.

I shoot her a sideways glance and scoff. “You think I would be telling you this story if that was the case? No, she didn’t die, Vicky. She cheated on me. With my then best friend.”

The sudden silence is heavy.

“Cash?” she asks eventually.

“Not Cash. Someone else I never thought would betray me. But friends are like that. You never really know someone, until you do, and then it’s too late.” I shake my head. “I thought I could trust them. I was so naïve to believe that the only reason they spent time together was to plan a party for me. Fuck, even my uptight brother told me they were fucking, and I didn’t want to believe him. That’s how much I trusted them.” I pause to gather my thoughts. The turmoil is still there, but it’s numbed, just like the rest of me. “As things stand, my brother was right. I couldn’t forgive, so I cut all ties with my so-called best friend. Three months after their little affair, he moved on to someone else and she was back on the market.”

“Did she try to sort things out with you?”

“Not that I know of.” Her betrayal hurt so much, for months I jumped whenever the phone rang, thinking that she might be on the other end of the line. “That’s the strange part. I thought she loved me and that she’d want to get back together, realizing that she made a mistake. But she didn’t. She moved on to the next guy even though I tried everything to win her back despite the hurt she had caused. I was willing to forgive her. Fuck, I even tried my damnedest to give her time and space, but you know what they say? You won’t make it work if only one’s trying. There are two people in every relationship. My relationship didn’t work out because I was the only one in it.”

“I’m so sorry, Kade,” Vicky whispers.

“Looking back now, I can tell that I was obsessive. I gave her so much and she wasn’t happy. Today, there are days when I think back and reflect on how young and stupid I was.” I turn to look at her. “My point is, do you understand that what you’re feeling isn’t love?”

“What do you call it then?”

“Obsession.” My eyes search hers. In spite of the darkness surrounding us, I can glimpse an awareness that tells me my story has reached a deep part of her. “Obsession, Vicky. I had this perfect idea of love, and I wanted her to be that one woman worthy of my worship. She had the looks, but not the personality. I needed someone who completed me. But all she did was fill a need. As soon as I learned to be happy with and focus on myself, I realized where true happiness comes from. Thinking back, it’s hard for me to imagine that I truly believed I was in love with her.” I laugh. “It’s actually strange that we’re talking about her today out of all days.”

“Why?”

“Because I ran into her at a party this time last year.”

“How was she?” Vicky asks.

I shrug my shoulders and we resume walking. “She was nice, very impressed by my success. Told me she had been following me online for years but was too afraid to get in touch. She still looked good. Her hair was all done. Same weight, same style. But it still took me two minutes to remember her.” I grin at Vicky’s horrified expression. “It’s as if a part of me had forgotten her, pushed her back into the deepest recesses of my mind. The moment she told me her name and I recognized her, I felt this huge surge of relief. Relief that I had absolutely no feelings left for her.”

“None at all?”

“None,” I say. “I was surprised. But I still had to make sure I was completely over her, so I fucked her all night, and then I left. The feelings I thought I had for her never came back. Worse yet, and I feel bad saying so, but I didn’t give a crap about what she had become. I don’t care about her at all. She could have died, and it wouldn’t have mattered to me.”

We stop at the clearing to stare up at the building before us. Most windows are illuminated now. We need to make it inside as soon as possible before someone spies us out here.

“Come on. We need to get going.”

“Wait.” Her hand finds mine, squeezing into it, fitting perfectly. “You’re saying it was just a phase, an obsession,” she starts, resuming the conversation.

“Nothing that is real or lasting. It’s something that passed the moment I decided to move on. That’s why I know you don’t love Bruce. When I look at you, I see myself many years ago. I see you making the same mistakes I made. And that’s why I’m so angry, Vicky. Not at you, but at him.” My finger settles beneath her chin, raising it a little until I’m sure I have her full attention. “You might think you love him, that this is some rough patch that will pass and he’ll come around. But make no mistake, he knows what he’s doing, just like my ex knew what she was doing when she cheated with my best friend. So, no, true love doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t break you. It’s all too easy to mistake obsession for love. Once you step over the brink and leave that insanity behind, you’ll realize there’s no good reason why you’d want to suck it up. There’s no good reason why you’d want to keep making excuses for someone who’s not worthy of them.”