AN OPEN LETTER TO JANE AUSTEN

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Dear Jane,

Kaiden Wright and I were never supposed to live together.

I was clingy, he was a manwhore. I lived to love, and he lived to play. I dreamed of a white picket fence, and he strived for success.

We couldn’t be more different. Me, a normal nurse, him a successful CEO. I wanted to love while he wanted to run.

Yet, despite all our differences, we had one thing in common. We both fought hard for what we wanted.

Kaiden Wright wasn’t my future, and I wasn’t his past, but we had moments. Moments that defined us. Moments that felt as though the present was ours and ours only.

Maybe it wasn’t about ending up together.

Maybe it wasn’t about loving someone so deeply you would do anything for them without expecting anything in return.

It’s been ten years since I last wrote to you.

Yes, ten.

Can you believe that?

So much has happened. Kade happened. At first, it felt too good to be true and I didn’t think our relationship would last.

I never anticipated that he’d be in for the long haul.

But he’s surprised me.

In the most unexpected way.

My life hasn’t just changed; it’s evolved and Kade’s been there with me, loving me, encouraging me.

I never had to chase love. It came to me—with all its delays, turmoil, and mixed messages. Sometimes, the most important thing is right before our eyes, and we just have to open them to see it. Open our hearts, and see the truth without expectations, without judging.

I’ll admit I judged Kade, and I did believe all the lies I had been telling myself to protect my fragile heart. My heart could handle him all along; it was my mind that was too fragile. It’s all too easy to believe our own lies, to give up hope, and to settle for less. To believe the demons and succumb to one’s fears.

It was never the pain that broke me.

It was the fear.

Fear stopped me from striving for the best I could achieve.

Fear was the first thing I gave up after Kade and I officially became a couple.

Today, I’m a different person. Stronger. The moment our son was born and I saw his innocence, I knew that happiness doesn’t come in chunks. It comes in pieces. Sometimes, they are small, and sometimes, they happen randomly. They fall into place when we need them.

My therapist once said that relationships formed in rehab don’t last, but she was wrong. Because they can and they do. Because, guess what? I don’t think therapists are always right. People can help us, and they can teach us to sail, but they can’t hold the ropes for us. We alone control the direction we take.

We’re the ships that weather the storms. And love is our storm.

We moved to Santa Barbara to be near Kade’s brother and his family. I love it here. Love the balmy weather. The atmosphere. Our huge new home.

It’s during my moments with Kade that I realize just how beautiful life can be. It’s unpredictable. Full of surprises. Just like Kade Wright.

When we first met, we were both lost souls that needed to learn how to cope with life and find their way home. We needed the challenges. We needed each other. I see that now.

I see it in the way we’re not giving up hope for a second child. (We’ve been trying for a long time but we have faith that someday it will work.)

I see it every day when I wake up in his arms and his eyes reflect his love for me.

When our bodies merge into one being, our hearts beating against each other, each of us drawing and giving pleasure in equal measures.

Today marks our ten-year anniversary.

I couldn’t be more happy about that.

Who would have known? A sex addict and a love addict. But it’s true.

We couldn’t be more different in our attitudes, but when it’s down to love, we both love hard. And that’s not a thing I’d change. Not about us. Or him. Because when it’s down to love, you can’t stop, you just keep falling. And falling. And I fell hard for him. Kade Wright is the most amazing man I’ve ever met, and I can’t thank the stars enough.

Yours, always faithfully

Vicky Wright.

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P.S. (Note the Wright? We got married eight years ago. We lasted through all the challenges and the fights, and there were plenty of those. But our love never faltered, and that’s all that counts.)

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