Our beach has become our very own private resort. Far away from the rehab building, it’s our safe haven. We’ve visited it every day after rehab, sometimes twice—so many times that I’ve lost count.

It’s been endless hours of talking and lovemaking. I can’t even call it fucking any more because it would cheapen the experience. It would cheapen her.

Those are my beautiful moments.

I don’t think you can count them. I don’t think you can measure happiness. Every breath I take is with her.

It’s become our breath.

Vicky lifts her hand, intertwining her fingers with mine.

In the lightening sky, she looks more breathtaking than ever, with her hair wild and her cheeks still flushed from my kisses.

“You know, I never expected things to turn out this way,” she whispers. “It seems like my whole life I waited for something to happen. But this rehab thing wasn’t it. ” She laughs softly, the sound dark and sad. “My poor mom—I hate to disappoint her after all she went through with my dad.”

Pulling her to my chest and the blanket over her shoulders, I prop my arm underneath my head and wait for her to continue.

She remains quiet for a few seconds while her fingers are tracing circles across my abdomen. Every touch makes me breathe hard. I want to kiss her, to take her again, claim her body as many times as I can. But there’s something in the silence surrounding us that keeps me from doing so.

Vicky’s relaxed, on the verge of falling asleep in my arms. Those moments are so rare that I can’t let it slip.

Above us, the night is turning into dawn. The red rim of the sun is stretching over the purple-blue shaded horizon.

Suddenly, I want her to talk. I need to know more about her.

“When you were cutting my hair, you mentioned something about your father. You talk about him like he’s not in your life anymore,” I say.

“That’s because he isn’t.” She pulls away from me and flips onto her stomach, placing her hand under her chin as she looks up to me. “He ditched my mom when I was fifteen. I haven’t heard from him since. I have no idea where he is or what he’s doing. My best guess is that he has a new family and has forgotten about us. Rumor has it he got someone knocked up while he was still married to my mom. She’s still paying off his debts.”

“I’m sorry.”

She shrugs. “It’s no big deal. I’m a big girl now. I can deal with stuff like that. My mom believes that my father’s walking out on her is to blame for my mental breakdown. Is she right?” She pauses, grimacing. “I don’t know, but it was hard for us, more for me, because I was real close to my dad. His sudden decision to cut ties with us left me feeling depressed and guilty. I try to hate him for all the pain he’s caused my mom, but I can’t. My therapist says that my love addiction is a coping mechanism. That the feeling of having lost my dad got to me so much, it’s become normal for me to get attached to a new guy to try and replace the connection with my dad.”

“She might be right.”

She cocks her head to the side, a soft smile playing on her lips. “Hey! Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”

“I am.” I roll one of her perfect curls around my finger, tugging gently. “But as your friend, I’m also supposed to tell you the truth. What about your siblings?”

“My brother’s great. He spends all his time playing video games with his best friend. But my sister? She’s a real pain in the ass.”

I let out a laugh and she shoots me an annoyed look.

“Trust me, that’s the kind of sister you don’t want to have. She’s annoying as hell, and competitive, but she knits a damn great sweater to keep you warm, and I love her to bits.”

“But it’s nice to have family.” My words come out a little too bitter and envious. I realize that too late.

“Yeah, it is. What about you? Do you have a good relationship with your parents?” She regards me intently, her beautiful eyes two dark spots that penetrate the walls I thought were impenetrable.

“The two people I call my parents are dead,” I say.

Her easygoing expression slowly disappears. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” I whisper. “Unfortunately, we can change the past just as little as we can predict the future. My parents adopted me from an orphanage when no one else would. You see, it’s hard for orphans to be placed in new homes. More so for boys than for girls. You see your friends go, then make new ones, only to see them leave, too. After a while you begin to feel unwanted. Like nobody gives a fuck about you.” I grimace as the memories I thought I had left behind come back to haunt me. “I tell myself that both of my biological parents were drug addicts. That’s the only excuse I can think of as to why anyone would abandon their three-day-old child.”

“Did you ever try to find them? Your biological parents, I mean?” her voice is choked, afraid to ask.

I shake my head. “No, and I never will. They abandoned me. They don’t deserve to have me in their lives. The way I see it, they’re not worth meeting. I’m not sure how I’d feel about seeing them, clouding my memories, letting them in. Too many years have passed. What happened can’t ever be changed. They’re strangers and I want them to stay that way.” I pause to choose my words carefully. “That my biological parents gave me away hurt me for a long time, but it was nothing compared to the pain I felt when I lost my adoptive parents. They’re the ones I’m still grieving, because they were the parents I thought I’d never have. They raised me as if I were their own. To me, people like them are more of a parent than some name on a birth certificate.”

“What happened to them?”

I sit up to ease the tightening sensation inside my chest.

The night sky is breaking to make room for dawn—just like when my mom slipped away.

“My father got targeted by some guy. He lost his business, all of his money. Over the span of a few weeks, we lost everything he had fought for over the course of thirty years. And then my mom became ill. He couldn’t afford to get her the best treatment. He was so desperate that he killed himself so she could claim his insurance policy and we wouldn’t end up homeless. His death hit my mom hard. She died a few weeks later. Any form of treatment would have come too late anyway.” I close my eyes, the memory hitting like little sharp spikes piercing every part of my body. “I still miss them. At least I’m close to my brother. He’s the reason I’m here. I gave in to the board’s demands because of him.”

“I’m sorry,” Vicky whispers. I open my eyes to take in the pained expression on her face. Probably for the first time in my life, those words aren’t meaningless. She truly feels them. “I’m sorry,” she repeats. “I feel so stupid talking about my father when you…I don’t even know what to say.”

Under different circumstances, I’d feel uncomfortable with people’s pity. But Vicky looks at me like I’m part of her soul. What she feels doesn’t look like pity; it is compassion.

Tears are shimmering in her eyes. I lean to wipe them away and realize just how much I love the kind of person she is. Her kindness is probably the reason why she feels the need to take care of everyone but herself. It’s probably also the reason why she gets attached so easily.

“It took me years to get over it. For a long time, I could only feel anger for the people responsible for my father’s business going bust. I wanted revenge and I got it, but along the way I realized as sweet as revenge might be, it doesn’t bring back the people you love.” I cock my head to the side as it dawns on me that I’ve never opened up to anyone the way I seem to open up to Vicky. I also realized that it feels good, as though after such a long time I’ve finally found the right person to open up to. “You know what’s the strange part? My brother, Chase, married the woman whose stepfather ruined our parents.”

“You can’t be serious,” Vicky says.

“I tried to hate her, but she’s not her stepfather’s sin. She thinks he killed her mother.”

“Did he?”

I take a deep breath and hold it for a moment as I consider my words. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll never know the truth. All I know is that my brother loves her very much and I’m fine with it.”

Vicky squeezes my hand, and I smile at her. In the soft light, she looks like an angel.

“Love does strange things to you,” I say softly. “I’ve never seen Chase happier. It all goes to show that you can’t choose love. Love chooses you. You don’t have to seek it. It comes to you.” I brush a finger over Vicky’s cheek. “Speaking of relationships, have you decided what you’re going to do about Bruce?”

“Bruce.” She draws out the word and grimaces.

“You’ll have to make a decision soon, Vicky. He won’t be in your life forever. The sooner you get him out of your head, the better.”

She casts her glance down. I sense something, but I can’t tell what she’s thinking, feeling. Eventually, she gets up and moves a few steps away from me, leaning her back against the wall.

“Did I say something wrong?” I want to close the distance between us, draw her in my arms and tell her that everything’s going to be okay. But this is her fight. I can’t force her to get rid of a pattern that’s not good for her.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you,” Vicky says slowly. “You’re right. He isn’t going to stay in my life for long. Not single, anyway. He’s marrying his ex this summer.”

Oh, fuck!

I stand and reach her in two long strides. My fingers itch to touch her, to give her the comfort she needs, but I hold back. The fragments of her soul seem too fragile to touch. Only she can hold together what can be so easily broken.

“When did you find out?” I ask.

“My sister told me when she came to see me. She brought a letter from Bruce. Like the coward he is, he broke up in writing. Couldn’t even tell me in person.”

“Vicky.” She doesn’t look at me as I place my hand on her shoulder, gently forcing her to look at me. Her face is a mosaic of emotions. But there are no tears. No pain.

I frown, unsure what to make of it.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

She shrugs. “I didn’t want you to think that I’m damaged material.”

“I would never think that of you. I never have.” Every muscle in my body is tense. I want to punch this guy, kick the shit out of him, for hurting her. As soon as I’m out of this place I’ll make sure he gets to walk down the aisle painted in purple and blue.

Maybe I’ll throw in a bruised and swollen eye.

“How does that make you feel?” I repeat my therapist’s standard question.

“I don’t know. Stupid doesn’t even cover it. I feel used, I guess. I put so much faith in him only to find that he was engaged to someone else the entire time. The hardest part is lying to my therapist. She still thinks we’re together. I can’t bring myself to disclose the truth out of fear that she’ll sense my anger, and then I’ll be forced to talk about it even though all I want is to forget.”

“You’re better off without him.”

She nods. “I know, Kade.”

“You never lost him, Vicky. You just learned that he wasn’t real to begin with.”

“I know that, too.” Her voice is low, thoughtful. “But I still feel like I wasted my time and energy. Eight months of my life will forever be wasted. Eight months I could have put to better use.”

“I wouldn’t look at it that way.”

“Yeah?” She regards me, weary. “How would you look at it?”

“I would always find a reason to grow. Sometimes, the smallest mistake turns out to be the biggest step in your life. Your experience with Bruce might not have been pleasant, and it most certainly was a kick to your ego, but you know what they say. Better a short pain than a long, excruciating one. In the end, he would have brought you more pain, so he did you a favor.” I squeeze her hand gently, forcing her to listen, to trust me the way I trust her. “Even if he wasn’t dating someone else, the last thing you’d want is to marry into his family. I wouldn’t let you.”

Damn! Where did that part come from?

She stares at me, her eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t?”

“Obviously, I couldn’t stop you in any way,” I add quickly, eager to backtrack and rectify my mistake. “I’d probably give you a wakeup call.”

“And how exactly would you do that?”

“Let me think. You might want to close your eyes.”

Vicky groans and rolls her eyes. “Why don’t I like the sound of that?”

“Probably because a wakeup call might not be what you’d ever expect.” Before she’s even registered what’s happening, I cup her face between my hands and capture her mouth in a soft kiss.

“I could get used to your kind of wakeup call,” Vicky whispers against my lips.

“To the cold ones, as well?” Before she can register what’s happening, I’ve scooped her up in my arms and am headed for the water.

“Kade, let go of me,” she shrieks.

Laughing, I head into the ice-cold water, making sure her feet aren’t touching the surface. The first wave hits me so hard, I almost topple over.

“Don’t you dare,” Vicky says, misinterpreting my hesitation. She kicks her leg and it’s a great kick, causing me to lose my balance.

We both tumble into the water, and it’s so freezing cold, that for a brief second, I fear she might pass out.

“Fuck.” I let out a shuddering breath as I pull us both up. “We should have gotten undressed first.”

“Seriously? That’s the one thing you think we should have done?” She grimaces at me, and before I can come up with a remark, she splashes water in my face. “Jerk. I told you to put me down. Not to drop me.”

“Actually, sweetheart.” My lips switch. “Your exact words were to let go of you, and that’s exactly what I did.”

I inch closer to her. Her chin is trembling as she stares up at me. She looks as though she might be about to launch another attack. And then her expression changes and she begins to laugh.

“God, Kade. Your phone!”

Fuck!

I pull it out of my pocket quickly and try to switch it on. All I get is a blank screen.

“There goes our little escape plan.” I throw the little device onto the beach and wrap my arms around Vicky, realizing I’m completely cut off from the real world now…and it doesn’t matter.

“I’m sorry.” I nuzzle her neck. “I’ve just ruined your chance at continuing to spy on Bruce.”

She cocks her head, granting me better access. “Are you?”

“Not really. On a side note, we’re completely alone out here.” I look at her to take in her reaction and realize her lips are slowly turning blue. “I shouldn’t have thrown us in. That wasn’t my brightest idea.”

“It’s not so bad,” Vicky says. “It’ll get warmer in an hour or so. By the time we get back, our clothes will be dry.” She’s trying to paint the entire thing in a positive light, but her body’s betraying her. She’s clinging to me, seeking my warmth. Up close, she smells amazing. I want to bury myself in her and ignite her heat from within her little body. I want to make her shiver from want and hear her moan my name with the waves crashing against us.

But she’s too fragile to be out in the cold for too long, and I wouldn’t want to see her harmed in any way.

Drawing her closer to me, I brush a stray strand of hair from her forehead as I take in her face. She has gorgeous lips. Everything about her is beautiful. Holding her feels right, the way it should be.

I wonder if she would let me hold her like this forever, shield her from whatever the world might be throwing in our path?

“I want you naked,” I whisper in her ear because that’s all I can demand from her.

“Why? So you can fuck me again?”

“Would it bother you if I said yes?”

She laughs. “It would bother me if you didn’t.”

She snuggles into me and wraps her arms around my neck. We’re both shivering. It’s so damn cold, I know we need to get out of here before we both catch pneumonia, but the moment is too special.

I want to hold on to it as long as I can.

Above us, the sun is slowly rising in glorious shades of red, building a beautiful backdrop to the twinkling stars. Rubbing my hands up and down her back, I whisper, “If you’re not amazed by the stars, your heart has no place for beauty.”

Vicky nods in response.

“Let’s get out of here.” Without waiting for her reply, I lift her out of the water and carry her back to our little spot. She doesn’t protest as I undress us both and then sit down, drawing her into my arms as I wrap the blanket around us.

The sun is rising in the distance, bathing the water in a shimmery hue of gold.

“It’s so beautiful here.” Vicky’s breath is hot against my cheek. Her skin is deliciously soft and warm against mine. I place a soft kiss on my mouth and pull her just a little bit closer to me.

“No. You know what’s really beautiful? You are,” I whisper. “You are beautiful, Vicky, in every sense of the word.”

She throws her head back, and our eyes lock.

The stars are magnificent, but compared to her, they pale in beauty. I know it now; I knew it the moment I laid my eyes on her.

I don’t just want to just see her happy. I want her to stay. In my life. In my heart. In my breath. In everything I have to give her.

I realize my heart isn’t just beating faster whenever she’s around; it beats for her.

She leans her head against my shoulders. I can sense that she wants to say something but can’t bring herself to.

“I wish I had met you before,” she says eventually. “I bet I wouldn’t have ended up here.”

“Maybe. But under different circumstances you might not have liked me.”

“Why do you assume I like you now?”

“Because you do. You have to,” I say. “At this point, any man is better than Bruce.”

She nods, and after a while, she says, “While reading his letter I wished I could make him disappear.”

“Disappear, huh?” I nudge her. “I know a good place to hide a body.”

“Kade, that’s not even remotely funny.” In spite of her sober expression, her lips are twitching. “I meant disappear out of my life so I’ll never have to see him again.”

“I can’t help you with that. But I’d kick his ass in a heartbeat.”

“You don’t have to say that,” Vicky says.

I shrug. “It’s the truth.”

“You’d do that for me?” She raises her head and our gazes lock knocking the breath out of me.

“That, and much more. You know what? When we get out of here I’ll dare you to crash their wedding and introduce me as your boyfriend. If he so much as breathes a wrong word, I’ll show him how to treat you right.”

“We can’t.” She smiles sadly. “He wouldn’t believe us.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re far hotter than he—” She breaks off before she can finish her sentence, as though she’s just realized what she was about to say. “You know what I mean. I’m sure I don’t have to spell it out for you.”

“Actually, I don’t. Please spell it out.” I shoot her a sheepish look. “You mentioned that I’m good looking, sexy, clever, and you also said something about my…?”

She rolls her eyes. “My mouth is sealed shut.”

“Come on, say it.” I lean into her and force her onto her back, placing myself strategically between her parted thighs. “You said something about my—”

“There’s no way I’m saying that.” Her breath is coming in tiny rasps. Slowly, she grinds her hips against me—the movement so tiny, I’m not even sure she’s aware of it.

“Why not? You already mentioned my magic cock once.” I push slightly into her, rubbing my hard shaft against her hot core. “You’re better off without him, Vicky. You wouldn’t be happy married to a guy who can’t satisfy you. Beauty fades. But love? Love is a fire that needs sex to be burning strong. What good is a man who doesn’t own a match to light your fire?”

I let my hand roam over her body, caressing her breasts, her abdomen, her swollen clit. Closing her eyes, she shivers under my touch and a moan escapes her lips.

“Let me make you burn for me, baby.” I kiss her softly. One kiss becomes a thousand kisses and it strikes me that she hasn’t replied to anything.

I need to tell her so much more, but now’s not the time. I can’t destroy what we have just yet, not before I’ve had her body one more time.