It’s been barely five minutes when a knock raps at the door. The only person who might need me is the wedding planner.

Kristy and I have an arrangement.

Whatever problem, issue, or trouble, she’ll come to me first to avoid causing unnecessary panic between the Sullivan members of the family.

I glance at my cell phone.

Only ninety minutes to go.

She’s probably ready to brief me in or has last-minute questions about the seating arrangements.

The problem is I don’t want to talk to her because I can’t focus on anything but the man I’m desperately trying to avoid.

My heart feels like it’s about to burst at the prospect of talking to him after such a long time. My body seems to tingle all over at the memories of his touch.

A flicker of hope ignites deep inside me.

A flicker of want travels through my core.

This could be the closure we both need.

But do I even want closure?

Maybe I won’t have to face him at all.

Maybe he’s here to thank me after which he’ll leave.

Maybe this insane attraction is all in my mind, and all that I need is one good look at him, and he’ll be out of my system for good.

Who are you kidding, Sullivan!

“I’m busy,” I yell and step in front of the mirror.

I still have to change out of my old Mickey Mouse shirt and my hair which was all glossy, red curls barely an hour ago thanks to Gracie’s amazing hairstylist, is now a dull, tangled mess. There’s no way I’m walking out of my room looking the way I do.

Only, I need to get my dress from Gracie’s room.

Another rap at the door before someone throws it open and my sister’s head appears.

She’s not looking at me as she calls over her shoulder, “She’s in here. Hiding, obviously.”

Before I can blink, she’s gone again, leaving the door ajar. Something tells me I’m no longer alone—or as alone as you can be in a house full of people.

A lump settles in my throat, cutting off my air supply.

He’s here.

I can feel him, his presence unraveling, his magnetism overpowering.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

Sweet mercy.

His familiar voice sends a shiver down my spine. I’ve been longing to hear it for weeks.

My breath hitches in my throat as I meet Kade’s intense gaze. His expression is nonchalant, but there’s a glint of anger in his eyes.

I want to tell him to leave. That whatever I’m doing is none of his business. Instead, I find myself closing my eyes as his presence slowly overpowers me.

He’s here, together with all those memories—I’ve been trying to bury together with our past.

I’ve completely forgotten how good he smells. How his presence makes me feel like I’m the only woman in his world. How my body gets hot and bothered, burning for his touch.

“I haven’t been avoiding you.” My voice is weak.

Liar. Liar.

“You’re lying,” Kade says matter-of-factly.

Turning my back to him, I head over to the window, which is a little too close to my bed. Heat rises to my face at the thought. I haven’t been with anyone since Kade. I couldn’t even look at another man. He’s ruined that part for me.

I’m glad he can’t see my face and read just how much I want him.

“Kade.” I open my mouth, then close it again.

What else can I say?

This is the kind of situation I’ve been trying to avoid. I knew all along that my feelings would render me defenseless to the extent that I wouldn’t be able to think straight, let alone deny what he’s doing to me.

I want him too much, so damn much, but I can’t have him.

“I haven’t been avoiding you. Not just you,” I say slowly. “I’ve been avoiding everything about you.”

“Why would you do that, Vicky?”

The sound of his approaching footsteps is muffled by the rug beneath our feet. I want to get out of here, but to do that I’d have to turn around and face him.

But that’s out of the question.

I press my lips into a grim line as it all comes back a hundred-fold. My ridiculous attraction to him. The fear that this might be our last few moments together. The powerlessness and despair at the fact that he might not want our child.

“Why are you here, Kade?” I ask, ignoring his question.

“You know why.” His hand touches my shoulder. “I needed to see you.”

I don’t protest as he spins me around slowly, giving me no option but to face him.

His eyes.

I had completely forgotten how beautiful they are. How his irises change to a darker color when he’s angry or how warm they look when he’s worried.

Right now, it’s a mixture of the two.

I remember all the times I touched his face, kissed it, fell more and more in love with it while he was asleep.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder.

That’s not true at all.

My heart fell for him while we were together.

It leaped when his eyes fluttered.

It jumped out of my chest when he looked at me.

Now it’s breaking at the sight of him.

Kade Wright is perfection. He looks so beautiful he must be made of sin.

“Vicky.” He speaks my name gently and I can feel myself melting. He closes the last few inches between us and lifts his hand to brush a strand of hair out of my face. “You’re back with him.”

His voice is calm, resolute, there’s an undertone of anger.

I bite my lip hard, but the pain doesn’t stop the heat gathering between my legs.

He’s sexy when he’s angry.

I can’t help but wonder whether his lips taste the same, whether his touch could still send me over the edge.

“Look at me.” His tone is harsher. “You’re back with him, Vicky.”

It’s a statement. Not a question.

The words echo in my head. They don’t make sense until I catch his glance. It’s the same glance he used to give me during our group therapy sessions.

The implication is so ridiculous I can’t help but laugh.

“You think I’ve run back to Bruce?”

“Isn’t that why you’ve been avoiding my calls?”

I suck in my breath, wondering how he could possibly come to such a conclusion when all I want to do is to rip off his clothes and squeeze in a quickie before my sister’s wedding.

It’s been months since I even thought of Bruce. He’s been erased from my mind, and someone else has taken his place: Kade.

His name, our memories—they’re everywhere, around me, inside me.

“I’m not back with Bruce,” I say. “I’m not with anyone. Why would you even assume that? He’s gay!”

Suspicion reflects in his eyes. “You thought you were in love with him, and he might still be in the closet.”

This is the time to tell Kade how I feel about him. But I’m not ready to admit my feelings, my fears, my hopes. Saying it all when he was in a coma was easy, because deep inside I doubted he heard me. Revealing my feelings when he can hear me would only make me sound desperate, particularly since I’m pregnant.

“I won’t let you shut me out,” Kade says.

“I wasn’t planning on doing that.”

There’s a long silence.

When he speaks again, I’m amazed by the softness in his voice. “I know that you took care of me.”

I saw that one coming. “It’s no big deal. Anyone would have done it.”

“Not really. Not to the same extent.” His fingers touch my cheek gently, the soft caress making my heart flutter in my chest. “Chase said you were by my side every single day. That you worked overtime and rejected his offer to get paid for your time.”

“It’s nothing, Kade.” My breath barely makes it past my lips. I fight the urge to lean into his touch. “You didn’t have to fly all the way here to thank me. A simple thank-you card would have sufficed.”

“Chase said you were by my side day and night, reading aloud, keeping my senses stimulated, doing everything you could to wake me. You advised him not to listen to the doctors when they claimed I might not make it. If not for you, I might not have woken up. We both know that.”

I blink in succession to fight the tears gathering in my eyes. I remembered those dark moments when my own doubts threatened to take over. Seeing him alive and well, I’m glad I didn’t give up.

Kade’s hands cup my face, forcing me to face the intensity of his eyes. “I know you were afraid that you might lose me, Vicky. I know your fears are the reason why you’re avoiding me.”

I let out a pent-up breath.

He’s right. But only almost.

He’s so close to the truth it hurts.

“You have no idea how hard it was for me to see you in that hospital bed. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. The knowledge that I’m to blame for you getting into that car made it even harder. I’ll never forgive myself for letting you go.” My honesty surprises me, but Gracie’s right. I need to be frank with him because he’s the only man I ever loved.

The man I almost lost, because we were stupid and reckless.

After months of worrying, it feels almost surreal that he’s alive and well. I feel as though any minute someone might pierce the bubble of my reality and I’ll discover that it was nothing but a beautiful dream.

“None of what happened was ever your fault, Vicky,” he says softly. “I know how hard it all was on you, because at some point your voice pushed through to me. I heard everything you said. Your feelings. Your fears.”

“I didn’t really think you would. I just needed to tell you how I felt.” My voice breaks and my cheeks flush.

That only thing that kept me going was my own need to hold on to faith. It was all a coping mechanism in case he wouldn’t wake up.

“I heard every word, even though it took me a while to grasp the meaning of it all.” He falls silent for a few moments, his eyes glazing over as if he’s thinking back. “I don’t remember much, but I remember your voice. You were the light in the darkness surrounding me. I woke up because of you.”

“You don’t need to say that.” I almost choke on my words.

“If only you could see the truth.” He closes the distance between us. The immediate proximity is more than I can bare.

Our time together feels like it all happened yesterday. It’s all still raw and sweet, and so very painful.

“You saved me, Vicky,” Kade says gently. “You took a part of me and kept it safe. Why did you leave?”

“I didn’t want you to thank me.”

He leans into me, pressing gently into my pregnant belly.

His hands go on either side of my face, trapping me in between them.

“We both know that’s not true.” The seriousness of his voice cripples me. Something flashes across his face. Determination. Knowledge.

I know what he wants me to say, but damn him. I’m not going to be the one to speak the obvious.

“You’re scared. Confused,” Kade says. “I want you to know that I don’t care whose child it is. I want to take care of you.”

My heart slams hard against my ribcage.

“This child might not be mine, but it doesn’t matter. If you had read my texts, you would know that.”

He takes out his cell phone and begins to scroll through countless messages.

My breathing stops as I start to read.

---

You’re my drug.

---

The thought scares me, and yet if feels so very true.

---

You will always be my drug.

I want to be there for you the way you were there for me.

You can count on me…always.

---

“Don’t shut me out, Vicky. I care about you and your wellbeing. No matter what happens, I’ll always care for you. Friends or no friends, I mean every word.” He points at one of the messages. “You can always count on me. All that I ask of you is that you don’t push me out of your life. Let me help you.”

I look up at him, confused. “Help me?”

“To raise the child.”

My heart skips a beat, then another, as the meaning of his words slowly begin to sink in.

He thinks someone else might be the father. That’s why he wanted to know whether I had gone back to Bruce; whether I was seeing anyone. It probably makes perfect sense from Kade’s point of view.

I take a sharp breath to brace myself for what I’m about to say. “There hasn’t been anyone since you, Kade. You’re the father.”

He stares at me blankly.

I let the words sink in, watching his emotions change as everything falls into place.

There’s shock, then disbelief, then shock again. “I thought you were on the pill.”

“I was.” I nod gravely, unable to make out what he’s thinking. “I don’t know what happened.”

The situation is charged with emotions. I’m so nervous, I can barely think straight. I want him to say something, do something, instead of just stare at me.

His eyes shimmer, and in that instant I realize he’s fighting with himself just as much as I am.

“I thought…” He breaks off and laughs. For some reason, he’s relieved. I can work with that. “When did you find out?”

“I had to go in for a health test before I could resume my position with Moses Cone Hospital. They told me I was four weeks pregnant, which means you’re the father. I…” My voice shakes. “And I chose to keep it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because…” I hesitate. What can I say? That I was afraid he might think I got knocked up on purpose? That I might be the kind of woman who’d try to tie him to her by tricking him?

I swallow nervously. “The day I heard about the accident, I felt like my whole world had just crumbled. I prayed that you’d wake up. But days passed that turned into weeks, and nothing happened. Eventually, I started to ask myself. What if he doesn’t make it?” I pause to read his reaction. His face remains blank, so I continue, “I’ll be honest with you, Kade. I didn’t think you’d make it. No one did. But I had faith.” My hands cup my belly and the life growing inside. “This child gave me hope. I figured even if I lost you, at least a part of you would always be with me. I didn’t avoid you because I didn’t want you in my life, Kade. It was the fear of losing you all over again that kept me away from you. I was afraid that you wouldn’t feel the same way about me.”

“Vicky—” His fingers settle beneath my trembling chin, drawing my mouth to him. But I’m not done. Now that I’ve started, I want him to know everything.

“No.” I shake my head again. “Please let me finish. I want to be with you, and that goes against everything you ever wanted out of us. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the pregnancy. But I couldn’t risk you trying to persuade me to get rid of it. You see, if I thought if I couldn’t have you, at least I’d have him.”

He sucks in a sharp breath and anger mirrors in his eyes.

This is exactly the kind of reaction I feared he’d show.

Stupid me for ever hoping for something else. Of course, everything he said in those text messages were nothing but empty words. Faced with reality—the possibility that this child might be his—he was bound to change his mind.

“Don’t worry,” I say, smiling bitterly. “I’ve got it all figured out. Mom’s helping me raise him. I don’t expect anything from you. There are absolutely no expectations, no—“

His lips crash against mine—wild and passionate, cutting off my words. It takes me off guard, and for a moment all I can do is stand rooted to the spot as I fight to grasp the meaning of it.

For the life of me, I’ve no idea what he’s doing.

Is it desperation? Lust?

Because that’s how it feels, and more.

He pulls back.

“No one but us is raising this child.” In spite of his smile, his tone is sharp and decisive, but also full of unspoken promises.

I stare at him warily. “What?”

“You heard me. We’re going to raise him together. We’re going to be a family, dammit.”

“I don’t understand.” I search his gaze for a sign that he’s not saying what I just heard. “But I thought you didn’t want a family?”

“You assumed wrong,” Kade says. “I never said I didn’t want a family with you.”

“What changed your mind?”

“You.” His lips touch mine gently as he pushes his phone back into my hand.

I start to read again.

---

I can’t believe you’re pregnant and left without telling me.

---

I want to take us to the next level. I’m asking you to give us a chance.

---

I love you, Vicky. This is the truth. And even though I’ve got my head banged up pretty bad, I knew that all along.

---

I shake my head in disbelief. How did this happen? Is it possible that I got it all wrong? That I was too blind to see that Kade honestly cared about me?

“We—” I gesture at us, “—we were never supposed to happen, Kade.”

“Rehab was never part of my life plan, but it led me to you. For that I’ll forever be grateful. Before I met you, I didn’t really have a purpose in life. Now I realize this is my purpose—to have you, to have a kid together. Maybe more soon.” He winks and laughs.

“I haven’t even pushed this one out yet,” I mumble.

Kade shakes his head and his expression become serious again. “My point is, so much has happened. We happened. I’m in love with you and I want this more than I ever thought I could.”

I look at him, unsure. This is exactly what I had been hoping for; maybe even more. But I’ve been burned before. I don’t want history to repeat itself.

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” Kade says. “That’s why I am here. I don’t want to lose you.” He laughs at my confused look. “You can’t expect me to just leave and not fight for us. I want to give our relationship a chance. Please say yes because I’m not the same man I was when you met me. I can’t live the way I lived before.” His eyes shimmer. “You’ve stolen my heart, Vicky Sullivan, and I hope one day I’ll be able to steal yours.”

I take him in—all of him. His beautiful eyes, his soft smile, the gentle caress of his fingers on my skin.

How can I tell him that he stole my heart the moment I saw him? That it never belonged—and will never belong—to anyone else but him?

“So, what do you say?” Kade asks. “Do you want to give us a try?”

The noise of guests arriving carries over through the open window. Someone’s going to come and get me any time now. My sister’s nervous laughter echoes from down the hall. I know I need to change for the ceremony, and yet all I can do is stare at the man in front of me, wondering what if.

What if I did give us a try?

Could I handle having my heart broken by him?

“How would that work exactly?” I ask weakly, as my heart’s making up its own mind.

As much as I have to protest myself, I doubt I could ever live with the decision of letting him go without taking a chance on us.

Kade smiles. “We’ll start like every other couple. Let me introduce myself.” He stretches out his hand. “My name’s Kaiden Wright. I’m a former sex addict, but really, I never was. It was all a ploy to save myself from boredom. I went to rehab, where I fell in love with the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She’s been on my mind since the day she walked in on me taking care of some very personal business. I don’t know everything about her, but I know that she’s kind, patient, loyal, and that I can’t imagine my life without her. She makes me laugh like no one can. She makes me want to be my better self. Through her, I found out that when you meet the right person, and you feel like you can trust them, that’s something to hold on to because it’s both rare and precious.” He places his hands on my swollen belly, his warmth seeping into my skin. “I’m not going to let her go, neither her nor my child.”

I smile at him as tears gather in my eyes. “I can’t believe you decided it might be a good idea to pour your heart out before my sister’s wedding.” I sling my arms around his neck, pulling him close. “You know I’ll tear up throughout the entire ceremony, right?”

“You look cute when you cry.” He places a soft kiss on my lips.

“Vicky,” my sister yells down the corridor. “What the hell’s taking you two so long? Save the making out session for later.”

“We’re coming,” I yell back, noticing Kade’s mischievous smile. I narrow my eyes at him. “What did you two talk about before she let you come up?”

“Not much.” He shrugs and looks so guilty I know he’s lying. “She told me to never give up on you because you’re a lost cause, and that I have to exert patience with a pregnant woman due to her raging hormones.”

I raise my brows. “That’s all?”

“Not quite.” He hesitates. “If you really must know, she also said something about those raging hormones being insatiable for other things.”

My cheeks catch fire. I mentioned being horny maybe once or twice because she asked me. Trust Gracie to go and blabber it all out to Kade.

“I like her,” he says. “She’s fun and honest. Now it’s your turn.”

“Alright.” I take a few moments to gather my words. “I’m Vicky. I’m a former love addict, but really, I was just a poor, delusional fool when I entered rehab. I thought I loved someone, but then I fell in love with my roommate the moment I saw him naked in front of a mirror, which really left nothing to the imagination. I fell hard, without any reservations, plans, and hopes.” My voice is shaking. In fact, my whole being is. “He’s been on my mind ever since that day.”

He laughs. “I always knew that you had a soft spot for butt-naked guys.”

I shake my head. “Not for every naked guy; just this particular one.”

“We’re going to be okay,” Kade whispers, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to his strong chest. “The future might not be fixed, but there’s some certainty. I’ll always love you. You can always count on me, Vicky.”