{Cason}

 

“New York?” I cannot believe where this rage swinging through my voice is coming from. “What the fuck is she doing in New York?”

My private investigator looks at me inexpressibly and proceeds. “Basically she’s taken over a job position she’s been offered at a design company.”

Fuck! When I had every single company block her from their lists, I didn’t go that far so as to take New York into consideration. What the fuck did I do? Now she’s miles away from me and I don’t know how to hurt her anymore.

She’s away and I’m still addicted to her. I’m still thinking of her. I made her hate me and take over on a new state.

What the fuck did I do? What did I do?

I ask this to myself and feel miserable. Why did I treat so poorly a person that I care about?

“How did she get there?” I ask, while Cody waits for further clarification. “I mean, who did she get that job from?”

“Actually it was the idea of her ex-boyfriend.”

“There’s an ex-boyfriend?” I feel enraged. “How come you’ve never mentioned him?”

“You never asked.”

“Fuck that!” I yell. ‘’Do I have to ask you for everything she’s doing? How the fuck would I know? You’re supposed to keep me updated on anything.”

“Well, he was not a problem. Only now, he is.”

“Every ex-boyfriend is a problem.” I tell, and want to kill this boyfriend-guy, whoever he is. “Now, why is he taking her to New York? What does he get from all this?”

“From what I’ve discovered, he’s been trying to get back together with Ms. Akerson. But she’s turned him down every single time. Except for now.”

It’s my fault! I shouldn’t have let her go. If I hadn’t done that stupid mistake, she’d still be here now, working for me, catering to every single acquisition I’d have.

God, I’m so stupid. How didn’t I think she’d take off to another state? How crazy am I?

“Mr. Cardenas, may I ask something?” he looks at me.

I don’t respond, but look at him in a way that makes him believe he can proceed.

“If it’s not love, then what is it? I’ve seen hundreds of people coming to me and asking to track their loved ones down. Never in my entire career have I seen a man coming to keep tabs on his employee, who he mentioned was not even his girlfriend. What am I supposed to call that?”

“How about you just keep your mouth shut, do whatever I pay you to do, and keep your nose from places it does not belong.”

“I’m a P.I. Keeping my nose where it doesn’t belong is exactly my business, Mr. Cardenas. And with all due respect, I don’t think that you’re tracking this girl out of hobby. You’ve got something for her. You’re just too stiff to admit that to yourself.”

“You know what? I don’t know where you got this idea that you could talk to me like that. So keep your fucking thoughts to yourself and just do your job. If I need a therapist to tell me what I’m about, I’d pay for that. Right now as far as I know, my money goes for a P.I. So be a fucking P.I. and stop pissing the crap out of me.”

“I’m sorry if something that I said upset you sir. I just feel that this bizarre vibe that I’ve got from this case would after all have an explanation behind it, and it won’t be just, you know, bizarre. And I just wanted to let you know.”

“Are we done now?” I feel like if this man keeps staying here any longer, I’m going to throw a punch at him, but I don’t want to do that, because I still have things that are uncertain about Keira, and he’s the one who can find them out.

“I feel like we are. I’m gonna proceed investigating on further developments and have you updated on whatever thing she takes up with.”

“Yeah, you do that.” I tell him and focus on work, while he’s heading out.

This is just crazy. How am I supposed to stay focused like that? All I can think about is Keira. I just can’t put up with the fact that she left me here and took off to New York in spur of moment. It feels as if the city isn’t the same without her.

Everything seems vague and bovine. And I have some stupid incitement telling me to catch the next flight and go to NYC. But she hates me. I can’t just go there and see her ditching me on the most obnoxious way.

Fuck, Keira. Why would you do this to me? Everything was better off before you showed up to the picture. I was a successful entrepreneur, who hit every pussy on the city that I liked…and now I am just…addicted. I’m addicted to you Keira. And I fucking hate it.

I get a text on the phone. It’s my friend, telling me that he’s in New York. Okay, it’s not like I’m impressed. He goes there very often, because of wild parties that he throws. But the next text gets me infuriated. He tells me he’s seen Keira. That they travelled together.

I get out of my chair and throw my phone away. It touched the glass wall with a shattering sound. Then I realize that what I did was just stupid. Not because of the phone. I can have my people buy me a new one in spur of moment. But because I need to know what he’d text me next.

I know that he likes her. And hell, he likes every fucking person with a pussy. Somehow I can’t stop thinking that he’d hit on her. I don’t want him anywhere near Keira. I know Dustin.

He’s worse than I am.

So his being in New York is a vast concern for me. Should I go there and prevent any latent danger that could happen.

The next minute, I realize I’m becoming paranoid. What are the chances that they would meet again in a city inhabited by millions of people?