{Cason}
Yeah, I know. It was messed up to get the company she thought she’d work for to fire her. But I’m sort of coming to terms with the fact that I need her. I need Keira in my life, so, I don’t know, I’ll just do something to make her come to me.
Cody told me that she’s catching the next flight to Seattle, and I want to surprise her. I don’t want her to feel left out or unprotected anymore. And I know I was a jerk with everything that I did to her, but I’ll take her back. I want her to work for me.
You might be wondering: why would she ever want to come work for me? She was the one to resign in the first place. The answer to that is simple. She does not have another option. I made every company on the state put her on the black list, and now I am the only one who could hire her. I’m about to be her boss again.
She just doesn’t know this yet. And I think she’ll be pretty terrified when she finds out.
I want to meet her personally. That’s why I’ll wait for Cody to tell me when she goes home. I’m gonna go there and give her the news.
I’m so pumped up about it.
Encumbered into work as I am, when I get a text from my P.I. telling me that Keira is already home, I feel like a kid on a candy store. She gets me excited, anxious. No other girl has ever been able to have this effect upon me before. It’s just so strange and crazy.
I drive to her house, listening to Stay With You, on the car. She needs to stay with me. I need her around. Given the circumstances, she just doesn’t know this yet. But when she realizes that my intentions are good, I think she’s gonna be the one begging me to stay with her.
When I pull over and walk toward the porch, I feel a little nervous. I’m about to face with the girl, whose life I destroyed.
But I will make it up to her. I’m gonna give her the life she deserves. Nobody else can do that. Because I know I need her. And I’ve been thinking a lot about what Cody said to me in my office. There’s no other explanation about it. I wouldn’t go through so much trouble if I didn’t care; if hated her.
We hate people who we love. Because after all love and hate are the same thing. If you didn’t care about somebody, then you wouldn’t hate them at all. You just would give zero fucks about them.
And it’s time when I come to grips with that.
I guess that what I’ve been fearing all along is the feeling of being so attached to someone to the point where you feel tied up against them. And it’s as if you cannot do anything when they’re not around. The world is just meaningless when they’re not around.
And I need my world to be lively and meaningful. I need to recover the things I did wrong. I realize that when I’m knocking to her door.
“Keira,” I mumble. Her eyes are swollen, her hair looks fuzzy and it’s like she’s been crying for a long time. And it’s crazy that even in this condition she looks just so beautiful.
“What are you doing here?” There is contempt on her eyes.
“I’m here to check out on you,” I tell her.
“Why would you wanna do that?”
“Because…why not?”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t have anything to say to you, and I’m not sure whether I really want to see you.”
I block the door with my foot when she’s about to slam it on my face.
“I don’t think you might want to do that.” I tell her.
“Tell me a reason why I shouldn’t.”
“Because I’m your only hope.”
“Yeah, you wish.” Even in this desperate state of mind that she is, she’s just the most stubborn girl I have ever come across to.
“You’re not in a position to say that.” I say inexpressibly.
“You ruined my life. And you’ve got the nerve to come here again?”
“I can get it back on track if you let me.”
“Cason,” she stops for a moment as looks tired. She thinks this is a game, and she’s not in the mood to play. But it’s not a game. I want her back to me. “What do you want from me? You shattered my life to pieces. Isn’t that enough?”
“Let me make it up to you.”
“How would you do that?”
“Come work for me again.” I raise an eyebrow and wait for her response.
“Are you crazy? Not even in your dreams would I ever step foot to that place…ever again.”
“Now don’t make promises you won’t be able to keep up with.”
“You’re so funny, aren’t you? You ruin my life, and expect me to let you do it again. That is just crazy and I don’t know where you get these crazy ideas from.”
“So what do you say?” I stay totally unaffected by what she just said, and totally ignore it.
“I say no, Cason. What would you think I would say?”
“I thought that for once you’d be reasonable and take the offer, Keira.” I look firmly into her eyes and it seems like she’s trying to avoid me. My eyes go audaciously at her boobs and I forget everything for a moment. My cock twitches in desire and I try to stay focused. She’s a perfect reason for why I go through all this trouble.
I need her around me. I need my dick right up her pussy. I need to cum all over her. And I need to do this over and over again. This would happen only if she comes to work for me.
“After all,” I proceed, “it doesn’t seem to me like you have much of a choice.
“But being near you is not a choice at all, Cason, it’s horrible.”
“Oh, come on, Keira. If I didn’t know any better, I’d take this to heart. But I know you don’t really mean it.” Listening to these words, she’s just going crazy. I feel like she wants to strangle me right now.
“I think I’m gonna pass on every single offer you’d put on the table. I don’t want anything from you, Cason. I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore. Why can’t you accept that?”
“Because…I need you.” There! I said it! I fucking said the word. And if she’s not willing to collaborate even now, I’m gonna pick her up and fuck her as hard as it gets until she realizes that she needs me too.
“What did you just say?” she obviously didn’t expect that.
“I’m not used to being this…vulnerable, Keira. But I wanted to let you know. Ever since you came into my house that night, I knew there was something different about you. My heart was pounding differently than it did for any other person. And you should know that.”
“So you’re saying that you care about me?” she asks, shocked, voice more than a whisper.
“Mm-hmm.”
“Wow, then you’ve got a very weird way of showing it.”
“Keira, I just implied that you’re important to me and that’s all you’ve got to say? That this is bizarre?”
“Well, I’m sorry for being suspicious, but it’s you who treated me so poorly for a very long time. And it just goes to show that this is just weird. How do you mistreat people that you care about?”
“But that’s my point, Keira.” I realize I’m yelling. “I couldn’t accept that I was affected by someone else. Because this doesn’t happen to me very often. Actually, it doesn’t happen to me, like ever. I am rich and well-adjusted, and that’s why I can’t be incumbent on anyone.”
“Cason, you’re giving me a lot to process. You can’t expect me to go from hating you to sympathizing you in spur of moment.”
“I don’t want you to sympathize me. I want you to want me like I do you.” I grab her hand from her chest and place it to mine. “I’ve never felt like this before. And it’s hard for me telling you all this. So please, do me a favor, and consider my offer.” I just realize that I’m being totally vulnerable, my voice is mild and sincere.
“Cason,” it seems like she’s getting affected finally. “I didn’t know all that.” She sighs hardly. “I’m going to need some time. I’ll get back at you with an answer.”
“Okay.” I whisper. “Don’t make me wait for too long.” I smile to her and let her hand go.
When I’m headed home, I can’t believe what just happened. Coming here, every kind of casualty ran through my mind. I thought I’d get her down for it, in spur of moment. I thought that I’d keep annoying the crap out of her until she accepted. I thought I’d fuck her until she was in, if she pissed me off.
But none of those scenarios came true. I was vulnerable and I hate it. I don’t know what happened to me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to recover from that.
But I hope it was worth it. I hope she will take my offer into consideration and come into my life again. Because she just makes me happier. She makes my life meaningful. And I’m just getting to the point where I accept that.