Chapter 2
Charlotte
“Nancy did ya get the drink orders from table two?” I ask the new waitress, as I clean off the top of the bar.
“I...I didn't, no,” she stutters.
Table two, the grabby bunch. I shake my head and walk around the other side of the bar.
“I got it. Why don't ya take a break?”
She nods her head, grateful for avoiding the rowdy group. I walk over with determined steps, grabbing my notebook from my back pocket.
“How we doin’ fellas? What can I get y'all?”
“Charlie Daniels, how ‘bout you hop up on this table and we can all split the meal,” says one of the men, smirking at me.
Evan Harlow. Big time jerk back in high school, even bigger jerk as an adult.
“Evan, you know as well as I do that none of y'all could handle me. Now are we doin’ pitchers and behavin’ or do I gotta kick your ass out like last time?” I say with my hand on my hip.
“I could put on a Lonestar’s jersey. Would that get your motor runnin’?”
My palm twitches, itching for me to slap him straight across his cheek.
“How about I forget I heard those words come outta your mouth and give y'all the pitchers as you say thank you. Or I can slap that smirk off your face, fixing that ugly mug while I'm at it.”
“It's funny how ya think that badass schtick is not gonna turn me on.”
He smiles smugly and turns to the table with his buddies, nodding his head like he's the man. I shake my head, ready to give them another piece of my mind when I hear a loud smack and realize too late where it came from.
My ass is stinging but before that can fully register, my arm is up and the back of my hand whips around, landing square on Evan's cheek. He stumbles back, reaching for his face, a murderous expression clouding his eyes.
“You bitch. I can press charges.”
“Here let me call the sheriff for ya. I'm sure he'd love to know why I backhanded ya.”
I reach into the front of my jeans for my phone and slide the screen open.
“We’re outta here. No wonder Gavinwood left your ass. Why stay with a prude when you can get whatever pussy you want,” he says shaking his head.
His sidekicks follow him out of the door and I walk around, back towards the bar.
“I have two kids, how am I a prude?”
“He's an asshole. I'm sorry you had to take them I just…”
“Don’t Nancy, don't apologize for a second. Better me than you, I can handle that scum. Believe me, you're young, you don't need to be dealin’, with that, it hardens you.”
I would know.
She nods her head and we scrub the bar together. The customers go back to their drinking and eating and I wonder what the hell I'm doing. Just another normal night working. Same shit for eighteen years. It's a paycheck Charlotte, it's just a paycheck.
I look at myself in the mirror and fiddle with the top button of my white blouse. I finally decide to just pop it open. I grab my blazer from the chair, next to my dresser and put it on, buttoning the middle button. I run my hands over my black pencil skirt and flick a piece of lint off. I reach down to grab my black pumps and put one on and then the other.
I mess with my hair a little, debating on putting it up in a bun or just leaving it down. I decide on leaving it down and grab a clip to just pull it back behind my head. I grab my mascara and run it through my eyelashes a couple of times then grab my lipgloss to add a thin layer on my puffy lips.
I have an interview today with Double Play Sports. It’s a sports management company in the city, that just switched CEO’s. It's the only company I've heard back from so far, and I've applied to a lot.
My mix of nervousness and excitement is playing tug of war in my body, as I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing. I want this so badly it hurts. Working at the pub all these years is making me numb and I need a change.
I grab my purse from my dresser and make my way out towards my truck. I take the twenty minute drive and pull into the parking lot.
“You can do this, Charlotte. You are a kick ass woman and you better remember that!” I say to my reflection.
I take a deep breath and make my way into the building. I press the button to the elevator and hit the number 5 for the 5th floor. I walk over to the reception area and give the secretary my name.
“Perfect. Mrs. Millers will be with you in just a minute,” says the secretary.
“Cynthia, how many times do I have to tell you? It’s Ms. Gavinwood now. Don’t even say that damn name in my presence anymore!” says a familiar voice, from behind the reception desk.
The female attached to that familiar voice comes into view and her name finally registers in my brain. Gavinwood. Savannah Gavinwood. Gabriel’s twin sister. My lifelong best friend, that I completely shut out. The other half of the reason that I birthed twins.
Her face pops into view and her smile lights up the room. The piercing blue eyes that match Devin’s are covered by black rimmed glasses and her long brown hair, hair that resembles Bella’s, is pulled back into a ponytail. She walks around the desk extending her arms for a hug. She looks so much like Bella and I have to swallow down the bile rising up my throat.
“Charlotte Daniels;” she says smiling.
I stand up from the chair and embrace her. Because our parents were best friends, I not only spent all my free time with Gabriel, but also Savannah. She became like a sister to me and when I became pregnant with the twins, I shut her out.
She went off to college, I stopped returning her calls and texts so she eventually gave up. I lost track of where she ended up, but I guess I found my answer.
“Savannah...this is…” I don’t have words to describe this.
The shock on my face makes her laugh, but I notice her emotions don’t mimic mine.
“I saw your resume come across my desk and had to have you in here. It’s been way too long,” she says, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the back.
She opens a door and leads me in while motioning for me to sit at the chair opposite her desk.
“I’m so confused,” I say laughing.
“I just moved back to Louisiana and snatched up Crushing Sports. I changed the name to Double Play, and put out the ad for a new marketing specialist, and here you are!” she says, clapping her hands together.
“So...am I actually interviewin’ or is this just a catch up session?”
“Oh gosh, Charlie, I’m totally givin’ you the job! But of course, I wanna catch up! How are you? What have you been doin’? I looked over your resume and you need to fill in these gaps,” she says, picking up a piece of paper from her desk.
She takes off her glasses and looks over at me. Her gaze is so damn familiar, and it plays mind games with me.
“I uh...sure what do ya wanna know?” I ask, breaking myself out of the spell.
“Why didn’t ya go to State?” she asks, eying me.
Damn, of course she would start with that question. When everything went down with Gabriel, I never told Savannah and I’m sure Gabriel didn’t tell his parents. I begged mine not to tell them and as much as they protested, they respected my wishes.
Luckily, when Gabriel and Savannah went to college, their parents took that as their opportunity to retire and move to Florida. They rent out their house in Louisiana, but my parents’ kind of shut them out after everything happened. His parents haven’t been back in Louisiana, as far as I know.
Once Gabriel made it to the major leagues, I had it out with my father on more than one occasion, to hound Gabriel for child support. He reluctantly dropped it every time I promised if the kids needed money for college, I would have went to him. Luckily, they handled that all on their own.
I really don’t even know what happened to Gabriel, since Houston dropped him four years ago. Who knows if he even has half of the money he made in the majors, left.
“I decided to postpone school for a little while actually. I ended up gettin’ my degree online and finished last week, like it says.”
Savannah furrows her brows and opens her mouth to say something, but then shuts it again. She seems to think hard before she opens her mouth again.
“You were so excited to play for State. Something big must have happened for you to just not go. And you’ve been workin’ at the pub the last eighteen years? What happened Charlie?”
I look down at the floor, not wanting to go into this with her.
“We used to be so close,” she says quietly. “I know my brother…”
“Is a jackass,” I explode. “He’s the reason I…”
I stop myself and try to control my anger.
I do not regret the twins for a second, but a big part of me, resents him. Getting drafted and being able to live out his dream to play in the majors, all while I had to give up my softball scholarship and postpone my education to raise kids that he didn’t even want.
I love them, I do, but it still doesn’t erase the bitterness that I feel towards their father. Savannah’s face falls and I shake my head.
“I’m sorry, Sav, you didn’t deserve that. I...I’ve just had it a lot harder than I thought I would,” I say softly.
She gets up from her chair and comes over to the other side of the desk.
“I’m sorry we lost contact,” she says, sitting in the chair next to me. “I just didn’t know what I did for you to shut me out. I figured it was Gabriel’s fault, but I thought our friendship could survive the breakup.”
I look up at her and smile.
“It wasn’t you, Sav. If it was just a breakup then yeah, our friendship could have survived, but it wasn’t just a breakup.”
“You know I don’t talk to him anymore, right?”
I look up at her in shock. Her and Gabriel were inseparable. Every assumption about twins was true with those two. They finished each other's sentences, they knew when the other was feeling pain, they could read each other's minds. They did everything together.
“Once he got drafted to Houston, we were fine. He was distant, I think because of everything that happened with you, but we were still okay. Once he got traded to Miami, that’s when all hell broke loose. Have you kept up with him?”
“Once he got to Miami I stopped. I couldn’t...I just couldn’t,” I say, shaking my head.
The rebellious, passionate, hot headed and single 21 year old Gabriel, broke my heart in Miami. Women and drinking, with a side of drugs consumed him and I couldn’t watch it. I could no longer ride that trainwreck, so I hopped off, before I went crashing with him. I heard things through the grapevine but stopped actively keeping tabs on him.
Our love seemed like a different life, a different time. My Gabriel would have never lived his life like that. But that’s exactly what the problem was, he was no longer my Gabriel.
“I think he’s back in Houston now. Mom and Dad try and keep tabs on him, but he shut them out too. He shut us all out,” she says.
“I’m sorry,” I say, putting my hand on her knee.
She squeezes my hand and looks up at me.
“What happened to ya, Charlie?” she asks, with a gentleness to her tone.
I suck in a big breath and let it out. Seeing Savannah again makes me feel terrible for keeping the kids from her and her parents. They have an aunt and grandparents and I’ve kept them away. The guilt I feel consumes me and takes over my body, but I can’t admit to her, what I still haven’t told Gabriel.
“I have kids,” I say, exhaling.
“Wow Charlie!” she says after a long pause. “That’s amazin’. Good for you. I….wow. I didn’t even know you got married, I’m sorry I missed it,” she says smiling, with a hint of hurt in her gaze.
“I’m not married.”
Her eyebrows pinch together.
“Oh okay...I’m actually goin’ through a divorce now too, it’s terrible!” she says, frustration lacing her voice.
“Oh no, what happened?”
Savannah was always such a good friend and a sweet girl. She was always a dreamer and would talk about having the fairytale; the white picket fence, the husband, kids and puppy in the front yard. My heart breaks for her.
“Oh no. You drop a bomb on me like that? You ain't changin’ the subject. We’ll talk about me later,” she says, wagging her finger at me.
I smile and nod.
“Well, the kids took priority over anything else for me. That’s pretty much it,” I say, trying to brush off the subject.
“That’s all I’m getting, huh? Haven’t seen each other in eighteen years and that’s all you’re givin’ me? How old are they? What are their names? What are they like? Do you have pictures? Come on Charlie, let me live vicariously through you, I…” She clamps her mouth shut and I furrow my brow in question.
She shakes her head and I arch my eyebrow.
“Oh, I see. I’m the only one that needs to spill her guts, huh?” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Okay, fair enough,” she says, looking down at her desk. “We can take our time gettin’ back into this friendship thing. I’m not ready to talk and clearly you ain’t either. How about this job, huh? Think you can swing it?” she asks smiling.
“If you’re offerin’, I would love to. This would be such a great opportunity!”
“Welcome to the team then, Charlie Daniels. Let the games begin.”
* * *
I walk into the pub at around 8 o'clock and sit down in front of my lifelong best friends, Caryann and Mikey.
“I thought we were celebratin’ your big girl job, why do you look like shit?” Caryann asks, sliding a glass of whiskey over to me.
I take the drink and finish it in one smooth sip.
“Because I feel like it. My boss is Savannah Gavinwood,” I say, motioning for the waitress for another whiskey.
I take the menu off the table and look through it, even though I know what I am ordering already. The pub is our go-to spot and has been since we were kids.
Late nights, cuddling up with Gabriel in the back booth, fooling around while our friends chatted and drank, barely even eighteen. So reckless, but so in love. We could be us here, away from prying eyes. I’m surprised I even still come in here with all the memories swirling around.
No matter where I go though, I am always reminded of him. We painted this town, every inch of it with our love. There isn’t a place I can go that was untouched by us. I can never escape him here.
“Shit are you serious? That’s some weird, fate shit right there. How the hell has she been?” Mikey asks, breaking me from my thoughts.
“Good, I guess. She’s the CEO of Double Play now but goin’ through a divorce. I don’t know, somethin’ is goin’ on, but we agreed to let it be for now.”
I down my other shot of whiskey, shaking my head.
“I feel terrible.” I try not to let the emotions seep into my voice.
“Why do you feel terrible? Gabe was the shithead,” Caryann says.
“Because she didn’t know. None of them knew and I kept the twins from them all this time. They might not have been like Gabriel, they might have wanted a relationship with them. I took that away from everyone.”
“I guess you are kinda right,” Caryann says.
I look up and meet her sympathetic gaze and then look at Mikey. Pity, that’s what I see. Everyone in this town knows our story and I see that look all the time.
The poor high school girl that got her heart broken, when her boyfriend skipped town, to become a famous baseball player, then got knocked up by some poor slob, that is not even in the picture anymore. The good Christian girl, how far from the throne she has fallen.
I don't correct them, it's not their business. They don’t even know the half of it. No one does, except Caryann, Mikey and my parents and I want to keep it that way for a long time.
“Well, where are the kids now?” Caryann asks.
“They’re home. My dad is at the house fixin up some stuff keepin’ an eye on them.”.
“Perfect. So, let’s eat, get a little buzz goin’ and let loose some, huh?” Mikey says.
We all clink glasses and I smile, thankful for the distraction. I need to figure out what to do, but right now, I don’t want to think about it. I want to drown it all away.
* * *
A couple of hours later, I make my way back to the house, feeling a little tipsy. Good thing Caryann drove me home. I forgot how little whiskey I can actually take.
“Dang girlie, I can’t remember the last time I saw you stumblin’ over yourself like that,” my dad says laughing, as I nearly fall in the foyer, coming in through the door.
“Daddy,” I say in a warning tone.
“Alright, alright I get it,” he says, putting his hands up defensively. “Need me to stay or are you good?”
“I’m fine. Nothin’ a good shower and coffee can’t fix. Thank you,” I say, with more emotion in my voice than I intend.
“Love you, Honey Bear,” he says, squeezing my shoulder.
I give him a hug, thank him and he walks out. I shut the door and lock it behind him. I walk to my room and plop myself down on my bed, hearing soft voices coming from Bella and Devin’s room. I get up, move myself closer to their wall and crane my ears to listen.
“Don’t ask her, Bells. She’s gonna think we want to meet him because she’s not enough for us. Guy's an asshole for leavin’, why do you need to meet him, huh?” says Devin angrily.
“DJ, I just want to know, don’t you? Why did he do it?” asks Bella softly.
I hear a sniffle and my heart cracks.
“Bells. I get it, I’m curious too, but what if he’s worse than what we picture him to be?”
“But don’t you wanna know? Even just a little bit. We don’t even know what he looks like DJ,” she says.
I move away from the wall and stumble to the bed. What the hell am I going to do?
Charlotte
“Y'all ridin’ with me or takin the truck?” I yell down the hall, towards the twin’s bedroom.
“I’ll ride with you, Mama,” says Bella, walking down the hallway. “DJ is fixin up his hair for Carla,” she says, rolling her eyes.
“Who's Carla?” I ask, as we walk out the front door.
“Some girl that he's crushin’ on. She’s new, but a year younger than us. All the guys are fightin’ over her.”
“Gosh, if he's like your daddy, I’m…”
I stop my words and look over at Bella. I never usually talk about Gabriel but seeing Savannah the other day, suddenly starts bringing memories back to me.
“Can you tell me about him?” Bella asks quietly, as we drive into town. “I know DJ don't really care but...I'm kind of curious.”
I remember the conversation that I overheard last night, between the two of them.
“I..uh...what do you wanna know?”
“I don't know. What was he like?” she asks smiling.
“I…”
I try and control the emotion in my chest, but it's hard to block out my negative feelings.
“I'm sorry Mama. If you don't want to…”
“No, it’s okay,” I say, giving her a tight smile.
She has a right to know, Charlotte. Suck it up and tell her about her daddy.
“Devin reminds me a lot of him. He was stubborn and a hothead and incredible at baseball. He was cocky...so cocky,” I say laughing.
Bella laughs too, and we pull on the grass outside the town square.
“Did you love him?” she asks, after we’re silent for a while.
I look over at her and cup her cheek.
“So much baby girl. So damn much,” I whisper.
“I don’t get it,” she says frustrated, shaking her head.
“It's complicated, Bells. He was a kid--”
“But so were you,” she says loudly. “So were you, Mama. You gave up everything for us, why did he not want us?” she asks, her voice breaking.
I pull her to me for a hug and hear a soft sob escape.
“I love you, Mama. Sometimes though...I wish he could be here with us, too. We could be a family, ya know?” she says wiping a tear from her eyes.
I smile at her and hold back my own tears that threaten to fall from her heart wrenching words. I'll let them fall later.
“I know baby. I know.”
“Would we ever like...be able to meet him?” she asks timidly.
My heart sinks down in my throat and I feel like I'm going to vomit.
“Umm…” Shit.
Technically Gabriel didn't want us, but he doesn't exactly know about the twins. I don't even know how that introduction would work. Would they hate me from keeping them from getting to know their father, if he did in fact, want to be part of their lives?
“I know he might not want to meet us, but I just...lately, I've been curious,” she says.
“We'll figure it out.”
She nods, and we get out of the car and walk towards the picnic tables covered with white and red checkered tablecloths.
I spot my dad by the BBQ, talking to Caryann and Mikey. Caryann spots me and hands me a red solo cup with a smile.
“This better not be whiskey. I’m on strike for the next couple of months,” I say, taking it cautiously.
“Just beer,” she says smirking.
I smile back and take a sip of the ice cold beer. It relaxes me instantly and I look around to find Bella, sitting with a bunch of kids underneath a big tree.
“How's she doin’?” asks Mikey, motioning to Bella.
“Askin’ about Gabe,” I say, taking another sip of my beer. “She asked me if she could meet him.”
“What did ya say?” asks Caryann.
“I said that we'll figure it out. Devin wants nothin’ to do with him. Didn't even want his sweatshirt, but Bells...well you know girls and their daddies,” I say, winking at my dad.
He smiles and shakes his head.
“What are you gonna do?” my dad asks.
“I don't know. I’m workin’ with Savannah now and the guilt is eatin’ at me a little,” I say, shrugging my shoulders.
“Hey y’all,” says a deep voice from behind me.
I glance back and see Brantley walking towards us, with a 12 pack of beer in his hands. He gives my dad and Mikey a pat on the back and kisses Caryann on the cheek. Then he turns to me.
“How are ya, Charlie?” he asks smiling, coming in to kiss me on the cheek.
“I’m good Brantley, how ya doin?”
Brantley Henderson graduated a year above me in school and his daughter happens to be Lisa, Bella’s best friend.
We hooked up two years ago when the kids were at fall fling together. I was way too emotional about the twins being off at their first high school dance and Brantley was very available. I should also mention that we were drunk, very, very drunk.
The parents all went to the pub after dropping the kids at school for the dance and by the time Brantley walked into the pub, I was two sheets to the wind. His wife died in a car accident five years ago, so he was an emotional wreck like I was.
Brantley is good looking. Scruffy beard with light brown eyes and long brown hair that stops right above his ears. He is a big farmer in town and his body is proof. He's muscular and fit, but he also isn’t Gabriel.
I regretted it as soon as we finished and rushed out of his house like a bat out of hell. Luckily, none of the kids saw me do the walk of shame because I’m pretty sure doing your daughters, best friend’s dad, is a no-no in the mother-daughter handbook.
“Better now,” he says, winking at me.
All of his advances since, haven’t gone unnoticed by me, but I just couldn’t go down that road with him again. I politely turn him down, time after time, but he doesn’t seem to get the hint. I smile and turn back to see Devin making his way over to the group, holding the hand of a petite brunette. I smile and shake my head.
“New girl, huh?” my dad motions towards the kids.
“New girl and a year younger. Bells gave me the scoop. You wanna be the one to talk to him? I already had the college version of the birds and the bees with Bells, I ain't touchin’ the male convo on that one.”
My dad shakes his head and puts his hands up.
“He’s got the internet, he’s fine.”
I shake my head and roll my eyes.
Ever since I had the twins, my parents have become less strict. They are not as set in their ways, religiously, and let me raise the kids how I want. As long as we don't miss mass on Sundays, they don't comment much on the way I raise them. Sex before marriage isn't a sin in our house, but without being reckless. They know my story and they know to be careful.
Suddenly, I hear yelling breaking me out of my thoughts and look around to see where it is coming from. I see Bella and a boy a short distance away from the rest of the kids. I start to walk towards them but stop when I hear his words.
“You’re a slut just like your Mama. Does she even know who your daddy is? I heard she screwed the whole baseball team back in the day, that what you’re goin’ for?” the boy yells loudly.
Oh hell no. I stalk towards the couple, but Devin beats me to it.
“You dick. Don’t you talk about my sister and mama like that!” he yells, popping him square in the nose.
Bella shrieks and the boy’s hands immediately goes to his nose, that is now gushing blood. I run up to the scene and hold back Devin, as he tries to go after the boy again. His 6’2 frame tests my strength, but I keep myself fit and manage to push him away from the chaos.
“Devin John Daniels, you better check yourself right now and take a breath!” I say through gritted teeth. “You got a full ride to worry about and a stupid ass fight ain’t gonna mess that up for you. I won’t allow it,” I say, poking his chest.
“Did you hear him? He don’t get to talk like that about you and Bella,” he roars.
I grab his arm and pull him further away from the crowd.
“I don’t give a flyin’ fuck what he said about me!” I rear around on him.
His eyebrows shoot up his forehead and he opens his mouth but then shuts it.
“You worked too hard to let some dumbass like that, ruin it for you. I raised you better than that, Devin,” I say, quieting my voice.
“I...I’m sorry Mama,” he says, looking down at the ground. “I just...I’m sick of kids sayin’ shit like that.”
“Like what?” I ask, putting my hand under his chin, making him look up at me.
“That we don’t know who our dad is...that you don’t,” he says, looking at me.
Embarrassment seeps into his gaze and my face reddens.
“People...people say that?” I stutter.
He nods and runs his hands through his hair.
“Forget it, like you said, they’re stupid. Let’s just go,” he says walking past me.
“Devin…” He turns slowly around to look at me, “you know that ain't true, right?”
“I know, Mama,” he says defeated.
I walk over to him and put my hand on his cheek.
“I know who your daddy is, Devin. I don’t need to defend myself to people like that but you’re different. Your daddy was it for me, baby. I want you to know that,” I say softly.
He smiles and pulls me in for a hug.
“I know, Mama,” he says, his voice muffled by my hair.
We walk towards the group, the boy nowhere to be found and Bella comes up and hugs me.
“Come here baby, don’t listen to that asshole,” I say hugging her tightly.
“I don’t Mama...I don’t sleep around like that. I didn’t...we never...I never...”
I put my finger over her lips.
“I don’t need to know baby,” I smile. “Just be careful and don’t ever give that boy the time of day again,” I say, hugging her.
She nods, and we walk back towards the BBQ. The kids sit down at a nearby picnic table and I walk back over to the grill.
“I was gonna give that boy some backup, but he’s got those Gavinwood genes,” my father says, chuckling.
“Daddy,” I whisper, “Not so loud.”
“Sorry, I forget,” he says, turning his attention back to the grill.
I look over at the kids and they aren’t paying attention.
“That boy,” I say, shaking my head.
“That bastard deserved the pop,” Mikey says.
“I know, but I just wish my son wasn’t the one that gave it to him.”
“Like father, like son, huh?” Caryann says.
Unfortunately, yes, those Gavinwood genes.